Running Northwest (13 page)

“Damn. Your vacations are even boring. Camping and fishing? Seriously?” Karen said sarcastically.

“Hey, I love camping and I love fishing! I always have, so leave me alone,” Stephanie said in return.

“Yeah I know, but that’s stuff you do with someone else or with kids, not alone,” Karen said.

“Well, maybe I want to be alone on vacation,” Stephanie said looking down at her wine glass and swirling it around slightly.

“Maybe you shouldn’t be. But fine go camping in some Godforsaken hellhole and live like a dirty hippie for two weeks, it’s your vacation,” Karen said.

“Ha, ha, anyway Miss High Class, you wanted to talk to me about something important?” Stephanie said with a wink.

“Oh that’s right, you’re not patient,” Karen said raising her hand in the air, adding, “I almost forgot.”

“No, you didn’t! You’ve been itching to start with whatever you have to talk to me about, and you were barely listening to what I was saying. So enough with the small talk, lady,” Stephanie said with a sarcastic tone in her voice.

“Okay, fine you’re right. So sue me, I’m impatient,” Karen said as she reached down and pulled a large and fairly thick folder out of her leather attaché bag.

She slapped the folder down on the counter knocking a napkin to the floor.

“What’s this?” she said, reaching for the folder and then getting her hand slapped away by Karen.

“Now who’s being impatient?” Karen said with a smile.

“Well what is it, is that what you’ve been working on all week?” Stephanie asked.

“Yes and I’ll show you, but first I have questions,” Karen said, taking a sip of her wine.

“Okay, fine. What are they?” Stephanie said looking somewhat confused.

“Well after our talk on Monday, I went home and I was talking to Greg about it,” Karen said.

“Oh great, your husband knows my secrets now too. That’s just lovely; thanks Karen,” Stephanie said.

“Hey, he’s my husband and I had to give him a good reason why I came home so late, partially tanked and horny,” Karen said smiling.

“Too much information lady, seriously,” Stephanie said.

“Yeah, yeah, well anyway after we had lots of sex, I couldn’t stop thinking about what you told me about Thomas. And how there was so much you don’t know about him,” Karen said, continuing, “And so much that you should know maybe. You know, just in case you decide to grow up and call him.”

“For one
thing
, I’m not going to call him. I can’t I don’t have his number anyway. There’s other reasons too,” Stephanie said quietly sipping her wine looking at her reflection in the mirror behind the bar.

“Like what?” Karen asked.

“Like my friend Derrick,” Stephanie said without looking at Karen.

“Your friend Derrick who moved out to Oregon after Thomas left?” Karen asked.

“Yes that one,” Stephanie said with a little attitude in her voice as she said it.

“Why, what’s his deal? When is the last time you talked to him?” Karen asked.

“We haven’t talked on the phone in a long time – maybe a year or so, but he and I keep in contact by email and through our accounts on yourlife.com; it’s that social networking site.” Stephanie said

“I know what it is, my kids have one and so do I. I didn’t know you did though. I should add you,” Karen said.

“Don’t bother. I don’t use it much. Anyway, Derrick and I email once or twice a month; sometimes more, sometimes less,” Stephanie said.

“So does he ever mention Thomas or anything in his emails?” Karen asked.

“No, no he doesn’t. Derrick asked me not to ask him about Thomas a few years ago. I asked him once, a long time ago before I dated Jared if I could have Thomas’ phone number or email address and he told me no. Literally, he told me never to ask him about Thomas or try to get a hold of him because I had hurt him enough. He said that Thomas had a good life out in Oregon and did not need the complic
ations that I would bring. H
e never said what Thomas was doing out there,” Stephanie said and then ordered another glass of wine from the bartender.

“Wow, what a jerk,” Karen said.

“No, not really, he’s a good guy. I hurt Thomas, I hurt him incredibly bad, and I know that now. Thomas and Derrick are best friends and I know that Derrick is just trying to protect Thomas from getting hurt again or even the chance of getting hurt again. I understand that, it hurts but I understand why he does it,” Stephanie said.

“So what do you know about Thomas? Anything?” Karen asked.

“I know he and Derrick own a bar together, and that Thomas also owns some other business. Derrick never said what that business was, but it is probably a coffee shop. He was very successful when it came to coffee shops, but I can’t say for sure,” Stephanie said.

“Interesting…did you ever try and look for Thomas yourself?” Karen asked.

“A few times, but he’s unlisted. I could never even find an address. Thomas was always good at totally disappearing if he wanted to or if he had to. There was a time in Thomas’ life, long before I knew him where being able to disappear was a necessity for him. It is one of those skills that came in handy for him sometimes. I thought about asking his dad once. However, as I told you Monday that his dad does not trust me anymore. I see him once in a while and I have wanted to ask about Thomas, but I am afraid to I suppose. I don’t want to upset his dad either, he’s a good man,” Stephanie said looking at Karen.

“Well it’s good you have friend like me then,” Karen said with a devious smile.

“Why, did you find his phone number or something?” Stephanie asked trying not to sound excited.

“Among other things. It’s all in here,” Karen said, laughing and tapping her fingertip on the folder in front of her.

“Then show me what you found Karen!” Stephanie said as she started to reach for the folder.

“Not yet,” Karen said as she raised her hand pretending she was going to slap Stephanie’s hand again.

“Why not, what’s the big secret anyway?” Stephanie asked trying to be forceful.

“It is a secret Stephanie. This folder is a huge secret,” Karen said in a stern voice as she put her hand on the folder.

“I don’t understand,” she replied, somewhat confused.

“Sweetheart, this folder has pictures, phone numbers, addresses, names and newspaper articles. All kind of things that YOU are not supposed to know about, things that you were never meant to find out. This folder and all that is in it represents a person and a life you let go of, that you didn’t want. It’s a life you are not a part of anymore,” Karen said as she took a sip from her recently refilled glass of wine.

Stephanie
just sat looking her and listening
. Karen had a kind of Big Sister tone as she spoke.

“Honey, it’s a part of you and your heart. And it’s been absent and hidden for a
long time, maybe too long. B
efore you look at it, before you see what is in here. I want you to think and make sure you really want to know, Sweetie. And that you really want to go there again. I want you to be sure you truly want to know what I found. Because even as I was reading this stuff, it really got to me honey – so I can only imagine what it will do to you. Once you read all this and see what I’ve found Stephanie, you can’t go back. Once you see it, and read it, you will understand why,” Karen finished saying.

“Is it really that big?” Stephanie asked quietly.

Karen shook her head in a silent reply, looking Stephanie directly in the eye and said, “Yes,” quietly and firmly.

“He’s not dead is he? Oh my God, tell me Thomas isn’t dead and no one told me,” Stephanie said getting slightly upset.

Karen, grabbing Stephanie’s hand, laughed slightly. “No Darlin, Thomas is just fine, trust me,” Karen said as Stephanie let out a deep breath.

“You said you have pictures…how does he look?” Stephanie asked, causing Karen to smile.

“More handsome than he did in that old picture you have; seriously gorgeous,” Karen said still holding Stephanie’s hand and rubbing it a little.

“May I see it please?” Stephanie asked frantically, starting to tear up.

“Yes, but I want you to do something first, for me and for you,” Karen asked.

Slightly confused and getting emotional, Stephanie replied with a quiet, “What?”

“I want you to go and get your big dumb dog, and I want you to go to the beach. I want you to walk and think and just have some quiet time alone. I’m going to leave here and drop this folder off at your house along with a bottle of wine – the good stuff. Maybe some Chinese food that you can reheat too,” Karen paused to take a bite of the bread the waiter brought.

“I have a copy of everything in this folder. When you get home from the beach, if you decide you really want to see what’s in it, I want you to call me as you’re going through it. I say that because I know you’re going to have questions that I might be able to answer. And if you want me to come over and go through it with you I will; since it’s a Friday I can stay out late. Sound all right to you?” Karen said drinking the last bit of her wine.

Stephanie looked down and thought quietly for a minute. She really wanted to know what was in that folder. But she knew that Karen was looking out for her best interests. Maybe there would be things in the folder she didn’t want to see, things that she wasn’t prepared to see. She already wondered how she would feel after learning more about Thomas and his life in Oregon than she ever thought she would. She had been wondering about him all week, would what Karen found be really that life-altering. Maybe Karen knew that she was thinking about it, thinking about him. So she did the research that Stephanie would ultimately have tried to do eventually anyway. A minute later Stephanie looked up and at Karen and smiled.

“Sounds good to me I guess,” she said with a small smile.

“Awesome. I was hoping you would agree, okay then, I want you to take this with you,” she said as she reached in the folder and pulled out a large sealed envelope and handed it to Stephanie.

“What’s this?” Stephanie asked, confused yet again but grabbing the envelope.

“Inside of that are three pictures. You have to promise not to open it until you are at the beach. It’s something to help you think while you’re out there, okay?” Karen said smiling.

“Okay, I won’t open it until I get to the beach,” Stephanie said.

“No, really, Steph – not until you get to the beach. I want you to promise me,” Karen asked.

“Karen I promise, really,” Stephanie said trying not to laugh at how serious her friend was being about this.

“Okay, if you do I will know, so don’t get nosey. We should leave now though so you can get going,” Karen said as she stood up to go, leaving twenty five dollars on the bar to cover their drinks and the tip.

Karen and Stephanie hugged goodbye and the two friends left the restaurant at the same time. Stephanie got into her SUV and headed home to get her dog Shadow and her beach stuff. She put the envelope on the dashboard and kept looking all the way to her house, fighting the urge to stop and open it. But she had promised Karen she wouldn’t.

It was just after 7 pm by the time Stephanie and her dog Shadow had gotten to the beach in Grand Haven. For as much as she wanted to tear into the envelope that was now inside of her backpack she tried to be patient. She had a lot on her mind and a lot in her heart to think about. She parked her SUV in the public parking lot and put Shadow’s leash on, took her shoes off and headed toward the beach directly in front of her parking spot. The beach was surprisingly not all that busy. With as warm as it was the beach was usually quite busy even though it was still only May. But rain was forecasted for later that evening which probably scared people away. Stephanie didn’t mind it and actually preferred it that way. She could see clouds making their way across the blue expanse of Lake Michigan; it would be an amazing sunset.

Stephanie and Shadow made their way slowly to the water’s edge, the big dog eager to have her leash taken off so she could run. The water was still somewhat cool but that didn’t stop Stephanie or her dog from walking into the water. The waves were not terribly huge, but Stephanie could feel the bottoms of her rolled up pant legs starting to get wet and she didn’t care. She briefly looked around to see how close any people were, there was only a few of them a ways down the beach. There was another couple farther down the way she was walking, but they had their dog of its leash also. She bent down and petted Shadow’s face reaching for the dog’s collar, Shadow’s tail was wagging excitedly and was ready for it to come off. Stephanie removed the collar and laughed as her dog ran around in circles in the sand. Then made a beeline for the water and jumping in as far she could go and hopping around like a rabbit, only stopping to get a drink of the water. Stephanie watched Shadow play in the lake for a minute or two then stared to meander her way down the beach, glancing over to occasional to check on her dog who was keeping up with her as she walked.

After 30 minutes of slow quiet walking Stephanie sat down next to large tree trunk that was lying on its side in the dry sand. It had washed up a few weeks earlier as things tend to do along the Lake Michigan shoreline. And this was one of the spots she usually liked to sit. She opened her backpack and pulled out a large towel for her and Shadow to sit on. But usually her dog preferred to lie sprawled out in the sand soaking in the sun. Stephanie sat down and rummaged through her backpack again looking for the dog treats she kept in it for Shadow. The large and now very wet dog wandered up after shaking the water off of her and plopped down in the sand next to the towel, only laying her head on it. Stephanie gave Shadow a long scratch on the head and laid some dog treats next to her mouth that she ate instantly, causing Stephanie to laugh a little bit.