I told myself I would never again feel weak in the hands of any man again. But the way he took control wasn’t frightening, it was empowering. Knowing I was the one responsible for putting him in such a state made me feel stronger than I had ever felt before. I had never felt so high.
“Come, Kiera.” I flinched when he said the name I was now hating more than anything. I wanted so badly to have him moan
Kinsley
as he lost himself. Tears formed in my eyes as he continued to whisper “Kiera” over and over. I wanted to yell for him to stop, but the pure pleasure that ripped through me prevented me, and he hooked my waist just as he slammed inside me one last time. His warmth spread through me, and the power I’d felt earlier once again filled me.
I did this to him.
I made him lose his mind and all self-control.
I was the one he wanted, needed.
Me.
“So beautiful,” he panted against my ear. His body now hunched over mine as he heaved, trying to regain control. “I get so fucking lost in you,” he confessed.
“Me too,” I whispered.
So lost is was a little scary.
The last couple of days had been nothing short of perfect. It felt great to live again. To enjoy those moments when everything felt so new and exciting.
That was what being with Ashton felt like.
In public, he was this strong, dominant, almost unapproachable figure. Most feared him, hoped they would never get on his bad side, and would do just about anything to make sure they never were.
But with me he was different. He was sweet and generous, and the way he looked at me when he thought I wasn’t watching made me feel like a young, innocent girl again, untainted and free from my past. Being in his presence made it impossible to believe anyone could be capable of the things Jase had done to me.
And he was dirty. I loved his dirty side.
“What are you thinking?” he asked as he rounded the side of the couch and sat in the empty space next to me.
I smiled as I took the glass of wine he held out for me. “I was just thinking about how different you are.” Laughter fell from my lips when he arched his brow at me. “Not bad different, good different.”
He seemed pleased but he remained silent, and I knew he was waiting for me to continue to explain. Suddenly I felt foolish for even bringing up the subject, but it was too late to take it back.
“I thought you were just some egotistical ass who had to have control in order to function,” I confessed.
“I do,” he said with a smirk.
“Yes, but the truth is so different than what I imagined. You aren’t selfish when gaining that control. It’s actually very sexy.” I looked down at my lap, and almost instantly he lifted my chin with a finger, forcing me to look at him.
“What’s sexy is that you’re willingly give me that control. You trust me, and I know that wasn’t easy for you.” Even though I’d told him little about myself, somehow he’d picked up on the fact I’d been hurt. “I’d never force you to do anything you didn’t want. I think you know that, or you wouldn’t have given in to me the way you have.” He cupped my jaw and arched my head up so he could bring his lips to mine. “And seeing you feel so free and submissive while knowing you are so fucking strong makes me want so much more than I imagined.”
“You make me feel safe.” I knew I should shut up, but being in Ashton’s presence made holding back my thoughts about him almost impossible.
“You are safe,” he whispered as he leaned in close and pressed his lips to mine. The knot that had begun to form in my throat quickly faded, but only for a moment before he pulled back, looking at me with curiosity.
“Tell me about your life,” he said as he lightly trailed his thumb over my jaw. “I wanna know everything about you.”
Panic set in as my mind began to race with thoughts of the things Jase had put me through and the weakness I had shown in not walking away.
I didn’t want Ashton to see that side of me, ever. I was too ashamed.
I couldn’t look at him. Not if I expected myself to lie.
“Not much to tell, really,” I said. “My life hasn’t been as fulfilling as yours, anyway.”
“I wouldn’t say fulfilling. Accomplished maybe, but not fulfilling.” He shrugged. “At least not until recently,” he teased as he ran his hand up my bare thigh.
I allowed him to toy with the lace of my panties, hoping he would get distracted and I would be given a way out of this conversation. But when he pulled his hand back and brought it to rest on my knee, I knew I had to continue.
“I grew up in Chicago, actually in a suburb called Buffalo Grove. I’m an only child, and both my parents still live there.” Each lie I told felt like a knife to my chest. Lying at work almost felt natural. Lying to my building manager didn’t faze me a bit. But lying to Ashton was hurting more than I ever thought it would.
“Are you close with your parents?” he asked.
“Yes.” I couldn’t elaborate any further. If I did, I would have caved. I could already feel the ache inside me growing. “After high school I went to UCLA for college,” I continued, completely skipping over anything further about my parents. I would have to revisit that lie when I had more strength because talking about them was still too hard.
“What made you settle here?” I could tell he was interested by the way he leaned against the back of the couch and propped his head up on his hand as he watched me closely.
“My cousin actually asked me to move here with her.” I once again looked away and toyed with the stem of my wineglass just before lifting it to distract myself and taking a sip. “But after I got here and got settled, she told me she’d met a guy and decided to move to New Jersey to be with him.”
Ashton chuckled, and for dramatic effect I looked over at him and rolled my eyes. “Yeah.”
“How kind of her,” he said before he too took a sip of his wine.
“I decided at that point that I might as well stay. I’d already landed a job, found a place to live, so why not give New York a shot? And to be honest, I just didn’t have it in me to move again.” I shrugged.
“Not that I’m not extremely thankful you made that choice, but don’t your parents miss you?” I looked up and found him eyeing me skeptically.
I had to play this right.
“My father is wrapped up in his job. He works long hours, and most nights he brings his work home with him. My mother is so engrossed in her daily life that she doesn’t truly have the time to miss me either. We talk, but having some distance between us is actually better for us. They can be a little overbearing at times.” I hoped I was convincing enough.
“Pressures of marriage and grandchildren?” he said with a smirk.
If only that were the worst of the things that kept me hidden here. “Yeah, I know they just want to see me happy, but they can be so pushy at times.”
“My mother is insane when it comes to those things.” He chuckled. “She’s always pushing me and my brothers to settle down. It is actually one of the reasons my brothers don’t visit my parents more often.”
“You have two brothers?” I asked, grateful for a way to change the subject.
“Knoxville and Beckett,” he replied, and I could see the love in his eyes. It was one more thing that made me feel as if this man was a figment of my imagination. He was almost too perfect. “Both are younger than me. Knox is a private investigator and has his own firm here in the city. He works a lot with the police department on cases and has become quite successful. Beckett is a detective and is the youngest of the three of us.”
“Three boys, your poor mother,” I said with a smile.
“She’s surrounded by four men who each strive to be leaders.” He smirked. “But she loves us even though we all drive her to drink.” He chuckled when I looked at him in question. I knew he was teasing about the drinking part.
“No wonder she strives for each of you to get married and shower her with grandbabies.” I nudged him in the side. “The poor woman is just looking for a way to break up all the testosterone she’s swimming in.”
Ashton placed his wineglass on the table just behind the couch, took my hand, and settled it beside his on my thigh. As he turned to face me, he hooked me around the waist and pulled me onto his lap. As I straddled him, my T-shirt rose, exposing my lace panties. “I like this,” he confessed. “Having you here, talking about our lives and those we love. I haven’t felt this at ease here, ever.”
“It does feel like we’ve been doing this far longer than a few days,” I whispered. “It’s been a long time since I felt this at peace too.”
“I’m glad it’s me you feel that with,” he said, hooking the back of my neck and pulling me closer.
“Me too,” I replied just before his lips touched mine and the conversation we had been so wrapped up in only moments ago was over.
ASHTON
“SOMEONE SEEMS EXCEPTIONALLY HAPPY TODAY
.” Lex eyed me knowingly as I passed his desk on Monday morning. I didn’t even give him a second glance, only continued past him as if I hadn’t heard his comment. He was fishing for information I wouldn’t give him about my time with the very sexy Kiera. Her long list of hidden sexual talents and comforting sweetness would remain mine alone.
“So use me for the information you need and then toss me aside, why don’t you,” he complained dramatically as he followed me into my office. “I see how it is.” He flopped down in the chair opposite my desk with a pout.
The man was the poster child for drama queen.
“I should feel offended, but I can’t get past the fact you’re happier than I have ever seen you. So instead of giving you a hard time, I’ll just imagine what happened after I left Kiera on the doorstep of her building. And I’ll just say one more thing.” I knew it was coming. “The visions I’m having are making me a little hot and bothered.”
I chuckled. I couldn’t help it. He was so over-the-top, but I couldn’t get annoyed with him because I was just too relaxed and I was sure there wasn’t too much that could upset me today.
I felt lighter and happier than I had in what felt like forever. And after the weekend Kiera and I had just shared, all I could think about was getting through my day so I could lose myself in her again. That was something new for me. Work had always come first and success was my top priority, but now it felt meaningless, as if it was only taking up time I could be spending with her.
“Since you obviously aren’t going to share any of the juicy details, I guess we’ll move on to the boring stuff,” Lex continued, pulling me from my thoughts of the brown-haired beauty. Still pouting, he placed a stack of messages on my desk, and I sat down to begin thumbing through them.
“You’ve gotten a few calls from that tycoon in Seattle. He is pushy.” Lex began to explain his chicken-scratch writing. His messages were sometimes hard to decipher. “He wants to set up a meeting next week because he’ll be in the city handling some other business.”
“The guy seems shady,” I said without looking up. I had avoided Mr. Hayward for months now. He was an arrogant fuck that felt I owed him something. “Tell him I’ll be out of town next week,” I said as I tossed his message aside. “I have no desire to work with that man.”
When Lex grew quiet, I looked up to find him giving me a quizzical stare. Unable to contain my smirk, I explained. “I haven’t finalized any plans yet, but I was thinking of taking a short trip to L.A.”
I hadn’t planned on telling him any more now, but from the way he was still staring at me, I knew he wouldn’t let it go until I did. “I’ve got a few properties I want to look into, and yes, Lex, I thought of asking Kiera to join me.”
He grew excited, clapping his hands enthusiastically, and I could see his mind working in overdrive. “Did you ask her to accompany you to the charity event this weekend?”
The annual Rose Claremont Foundation charity gala was one of the few events I supported without even an ounce of hesitation. Rose was an amazing woman. She spent her life giving all she could to children suffering from cancer. And when she herself was diagnosed with Hodgkin’s lymphoma and went downhill suddenly, she still gave it her all that final year. In fact she beat all the years prior. In the three weeks before she passed, she donated over 1.2 million to the children’s hospital. The Rose Claremont Foundation would live on through the eyes of her children, and their children after.