Rushed (The Rushed Series) (22 page)

Don't wear any sorority gear.

Like he had to warn me.

I caught the edge of brunch and grabbed a bowl of cereal just before Seth and Dillon cleared it away. There was no way I was going to have any toast with jam. Not after seeing the way Morgan had dug into it.

I headed out of the house toward campus. Zach was waiting for me by the main library on the mall at the heart of campus. I grinned when I saw him with an athletic bag slung over his shoulder. I ran into his arms and kissed him like I didn't care who saw. It was careless, but it felt right. Besides, the mall was deserted this time of day.

He caught me and held me tight as the athletic bag banged against my thigh, returning my kiss with the bruising passion I felt.

"Wow. That's some greeting. You can say hello like that to me any day." His eyes sparkled. He looked as happy as I felt.

"Even at the house?"

"Maybe not there." He let me go. "Until we figure things out."

My heart flew at the thought of him wanting to figure things out. The simple statement spoke to me of commitment. "Until then, our status is 'in a secret relationship'?"

"Yeah, I guess that's it. Can you live with that?"

"If it's the only way to be with you. It has a thrilling, dangerous excitement to it."

"Good thing I like danger." He smiled, took my hand, and squeezed it. For a second, I thought he was going to let go. Then he laced his fingers through mine, like fate be damned, as we walked to the play fields.

I think we both felt nervous. I know I did. I felt the tension melt away when we were well out of Greek territory and into the heart of Geed land, where no one knew us and there were no expectations and stupid, artificial class differences between us.

It was a sunny afternoon, and warm for late September. When we reached the field, Zach set his bag down and pulled out a football. The play fields were on a hill and had views of the surrounding rolling hills. It was a gorgeous time to be out with the guy I loved. I looked around, so happy that I tried to commit this moment to my memory as something I would never forget. I just hoped it never turned into a melancholy memory.

He pulled his sweatshirt off and tossed it on his bag, revealing a tight black athletic shirt, sculpted biceps, and the tender inner skin of his arm that held the tribute to his little sister. The beauty of him, all of him, inside and out, made me emotional and fierce. I
knew
we were right together.

The walk up the hill had made me warm, too. I stripped off my sweatshirt and dropped it next to his. "Are you ready to play some fierce football?" I was laughing and flirty. In love with being with him.

He frowned and caught my arm. "What the hell is this?" He ran his thumb lightly over the bruise Morgan had given me.

I sighed. "Morgan grabbed me this morning on my way to the shower and warned me to keep my mouth shut and leave you to her."

He swore beneath his breath.

"She doesn't scare me," I said.

"She should," he said. "Leave her to me next time. I can handle her." He paused. "What you saw last night—"

"Was nothing. I know." I took his hand. "I trust you."

He cupped my face and kissed me. In his embrace, everything in my world was warm and sunny. I never wanted to leave that place, but the kiss ended too soon when two Geeds walked by and yelled at us to get a room.
 

Zach grinned at me. "Jealous douchebags." He bent and pulled a football out of his bag. "Time to play ball, QB."

"QB?" I said.

"Come on. No false modesty. You're the only girl in the house with any game sense at all. The only girl who gives the ball a spiral. Dak has already singled you out as captain. That means you'll be QB1. We need to work on your arm and your throwing form." He tossed the ball to me and started running. "Hit me, QB."

Watching him run, I wondered why no one had recruited him for college ball. His form was perfect. And I mean every aspect of his form. He was pure eye candy and smooth motion as his muscles rippled and he pulled away from me.
 

He waved at me to throw the ball. I shook my head, giving him more distance on me. Waiting until he was at the edge of my range. Then I let the ball fly. And threw short. He had to dive for the ball, but he caught it. So much for me showing off. However, he could not show off enough for my tastes. He got up. "Too much elbow, pledge. Keep it in. Like this." He threw the ball back and hit me in the chest.

"Nice aim," I yelled back. "But I'm not a moving target."

"Shut up and throw!"

I tossed it back.

"Too much arm," he said. "Put your body into it."

"Too much arm? If I had half the bicep bulk you do, you would never have been able to catch up to that ball."

He grinned. "Then do what I say and put that hot body into it."

We practiced throwing. He ran me through some simple plays. Time flew by too quickly.
 

We took a break. He pulled his phone out and checked the time. "I have to get back to set the table for dinner soon." He rolled his eyes. "Shit, that sounds like I'm a little kid. Come on in, Zachy, and set the table for dinner." He laughed.

"Crap! That stupid sorority." I pushed him playfully in the shoulder. "One more throw?" I tried to take the ball from him.

He held it out of my reach. I grabbed his arm, trying to pull it down and grab the ball. His bicep was like a rock. I could have hung on to it all day long.
 

I reached up, stroked his cheek, and kissed him. While he was distracted by my tongue tracing his lips, I grabbed the ball. Laughing, I broke away and made a run for it.

He took off after me. I was fast. He was faster. I wove and dodged. He anticipated my moves, dodging and weaving in sync with me. We both put on our competitor/game face. I ran toward the woods at edge of the field and a clump of trees and bushes like it was the end zone. Zach understood intuitively what I had in mind.

Just as I reached the trees, Zach tackled me from behind, plowing me into a thick bed of fallen leaves. He was gentle as he took me down and he held his weight off me. We lay there, laughing, as I cradled the ball beneath me. He reached around me, like he was trying to bat the ball away. Then he kissed the back of my neck and sucked hard, like he wanted so much more than the ball.
 

I rolled over suddenly, looked him in the eye, and held the ball out to the side. "Is this what you want? Come get it."

He lowered his lips to mine and knocked the ball away. "No. This is what I want."

I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back, letting him suck my lip. He ran his tongue on the outer edges of my lips until I shivered with pleasure, inhaling the scent of moist soil, dry leaves, and him. When we kissed, I lost track of time.
 

He was the stronger willed of the two of us. He pulled away first and leaned on his elbows, staring down at me. "You deserve so much more than I can give you right now, Alexis." His voice was low and soft, but hard with conviction at the same time. "I wish I could take you out on expensive dates. To concerts and events and dinner and all that crap. But right now, I'm flat broke."

It took a lot of guts, and swallowing his pride, for him to admit that.

"I don't care." I meant it. "It doesn't matter. We can't be public right now, anyway."

"It might matter. In the future." His expression was serious. "I won't always be broke. When I get out of school, I'm going to make good money. And shower you with all kinds of fabulous shit."

I laughed and kissed him lightly. "And we won't have to be secretive anymore."

He rolled off me and sat up. "Yeah, about that. I've been trying to think of a way around our situation. And coming up stumped. I checked the job boards. There's nothing. For now, I'm stuck. I need my sorority job."

I sat up, too. "I know. I wouldn't want you to give it up now, anyway." I wanted to reassure him and let him know I wasn't greedy or unreasonable. "We'll be careful."

"Maybe at semester something else will open up," he said. "Right now, no one is even looking for roommates. All the housing and the campus jobs are filled."

"I don't want you to give up the house." I wanted him to understand I knew he needed it. "We'll think of something."

"One day at a time?" He pulled a leaf from my hair and took my hand.

I squeezed his hand to reassure him. "One day at a time."

He stood, pulled me to my feet, and grabbed the football.

Something about being at the edge of the woods made me think of what he'd told me last night. "Zach?"

He looked at me curiously.

"You haven't ever thought of killing yourself again, have you?" I swallowed hard. "Because if you ever need someone to talk to, you can always talk to me."

His face became a mask. My heart pounded like I had really messed up.

"I don't have clinical depression." He spoke calmly. "I never have. I had a trauma when I was little that scarred me and made me feel like I didn't deserve to live. I realized that day in the woods that I've been given my life for a reason. And there's no way I'm going to squander it."

"Oh." I let out a sigh of relief and felt a smile blooming, knowing better than to press for more details, no matter how horrible and wild what I imagined might be.

"To answer your question, I felt unworthy for so long, it became a habit. Sometimes those feelings come back. But I have ways to cope now." He grinned at me. "And even more reasons to go on." He put the football in the bag and handed me my sweatshirt.

I pulled mine on at the same time he pulled his on.
 

He slid the bag over his shoulder and we began walking back. He gave me a lopsided grin. "Any dark secrets you want to share with me?"

I made a face. "My mom is coming to campus on Tuesday for a recruiting trip. She's eating lunch with me at the house. Does that count?"

He laughed. "You were holding out on me. If that's the darkest secret you have, I have it easy." He looked at me, suddenly serious. "Do you want me to make myself scarce?"

"No!" I decided without thinking. My original plan had been flat-out wrong, I realized. Why should I hide him? "I think you should meet her. Casually. If she meets you, she'll see how awesome you are and be happy when we eventually tell her how we feel about each other."

He shot me a skeptical look. "Do you really think she's going to be happy you fell for the houseboy? From what I've gathered, that doesn't sound like your ultra-Double Deltsie mom to me."

"You aren't going to be a houseboy forever," I said, evading his question.

He put his arm around my shoulder. "And another thing—let's keep this football practice secret, too. Enjoying tackling and really loving sports isn't Double Deltsie behavior. It will ruin their rep."

I shook my head and laughed.

He grinned. "The perils of being the favorite pledge."

"Someday someone is going to have to explain to me why I am."

"That's easy," he said. "You're totally lovable."

Chapter Fourteen

Alexis

Zach saved me a seat in class on Monday. The girls he had been sitting with shot me dagger looks, but I didn't care. Even though we had to keep things quiet, I was too deliriously happy to worry about the opinions of others outside of the house. Except for Mom's. Mostly because she held the purse strings and the power of parental disapproval over me.

I was that desperately wanted child, the one my parents had tried for years to conceive. The one they went through round after round of fertility treatments and expense to get. I was the product of one weak egg that somehow made it through in vitro. And implanted. And lived. And thrived when the doctors said it was almost impossible for Mom to get pregnant and carry a child to term.
 

Dad told me that was why I was so strong-willed and vital. That I had wanted to live so badly I defied every odd. I didn't know about that. I didn't feel so strong-willed now.
 

I was the child of my parents' early middle age, born when they were in their early forties. I carried the weight of their posterity on my shoulders. As much as they loved me, they had also invested everything in me. Including their dreams.