Rust: A Bad Boy Romance (Courage MC) (29 page)

A
ll is lost
…

I strained my eyes to see against the light. “Hope?”
I called out.
Where is she?
She is the only real constant in my life.

My face. It feels as if it were ripped into a thousand pieces. Will she ever love me again?

“Lay down, sir. It’s going to be okay. Just lay down.” A woman said to me, adjusting a set of knobs in front of her. “We’re going to need an IV of morphine, stat!” she yelled.

“What … what happened?” I asked, my voice sounding rough and groggy.

“Sir. Just lay down. Please. Everything is going to be okay.” she said. Her face said it all. It was stressed and creased. She had been here all night. I could tell.

“I’m not in good shape, am I?” I laughed, spitting blood out onto my clothes. “Shit…” Bandages rested across my face.
Fuck. My face.

Then it all came flooding back to me. Luke. Hope. My god damn blade. He destroyed my face. I would destroy his life.

We could have settled things. If he just stuck around and trusted in me, we could have made things right. But now, it was all ruined. It was all brought to dust.

Dust.

My whole life, just dust floating in space. I’m nothing. I don’t deserve anything. And what about Hope? I sure as hell don’t deserve her. I used her for my own damn gain. And for what? This? Hell no. I deserve nothing. I deserve what I got. A knife to the face.

“Hope!” I cried out. I picked my body up from the bed. All I could feel was dizziness and despair. I grabbed the tubes that were coming from my arms and chest. I ripped them clean out. “HOPE!”

“Doctor! I need your help!” the woman yelled. I motioned for her to back off, but I immediately fell to the floor.
Can’t see a damn thing. The lights are too bright.
“Someone turn these fucking lights off!” I screamed. All I could see were flashbacks from last night. Luke, the knife, and the love of my life.

He was dead right? I saw him fall. Hope pushed him off, right? He had to have hit his back. The desert floor ain’t too comforting on your body. But what if he wasn’t dead? He could be outside the room right now.
I gotta get out of here.

At that very moment, two doctors came running into the room. “Sir!” they yelled. “We need you to lay back down.” I swung at one of them and fell to the floor.
What the fuck.
One man had a syringe in his hand. He pressed the back end down and a stream of liquid shot out into the air. The bastard stuck me with it. I tried fighting him off, but whatever was in there knocked me back onto the floor.

“Got him!” the bastard yelled. I felt the cool surface of the floor against my cheek.

“Fuck all of you…” I moaned. All I cared about was Hope. All I needed in this life was her. Every single damn day. And as soon as I get out of here, I vow to hold her in my arms and appreciate her. I vowed to love her and treat her with respect. She deserved that much.

The light was slowly going dim. All around me were nurses and doctors, and people looking through the window. I was a fucking spectacle. A part of their little circus. I didn’t mind it. Just wished my face looked a little better.

All is lost. But I’ll find a way to get it all back.

“
I
want
everyone to check the compound for Luke’s body! There’s a chance he’s still out there and, if he is, I want him dead!” Bruce announced. The crowd of bikers grabbed their guns and dispersed outside. They had a mission and they were excited to see it through. I, however, was praying to the dear lord above that I’d get my Avery back safely.

We had already been through a lot, but just as we had gotten close, this happened? I could believe it. By now, I could believe anything. I just didn’t want to.

Bruce walked up to me and sighed, “You okay?” he asked me.

“Yeah, I’m fine, I think. Thank you, Bruce.” I said, wiping the tears from my eyes. It had been a long night and I was exhausted. It felt like there was a lot more for me to do.

“You’re tired. You should go home and rest.” he said, putting his hand on my shoulder. “He’s going to be alright. I promise ya.”

“I can’t sleep, Bruce. I just keep thinking about Luke. I keep thinking about him taking that shot at Avery. And then the knife…my God, I can’t believe it. I can’t believe he almost got him.” I began sobbing again uncontrollably. I couldn’t help it. My love.

“The key word in that sentence is almost. He almost got him. You’re probably right though. You need to stay out of sight for a while. Better you with me than at Avery’s. I just feel for your state of mind right now. I don’t want you worryin’ too much.” he sighed, squeezing my shoulders.

“It’s the worrying that will get him through this. He needs someone worrying about him. He needs all the thoughts and prayers he can get.” I found myself saying. I was in no way a religious woman, but I felt like what I said was true. Any good thought was important right now. He needed all the good he could get in this world.

“You know,” Bruce began speaking thoughtfully, “when I first met you, I didn’t know you’d play such an important role in Avery’s life. I thought you were just some star. Some entertainment. You know, we get a lot of girls to host parties and such. But that night felt more important than usual. Not because Luke was let out of prison or nothing, but because the spirits were high. You get it?” I nodded my head. “I told Avery that he should find a good woman. I think he just shrugged it off. But I think that sentiment eventually got in the guy’s head. And then you two started talkin’. Look, I know we kind of met in weird circumstances, but I see that you’re a light in Avery’s life. You want to take care of him. And I s’ppose he wants to do the same for you. That’s a good thing, Hope. It’s important.” He looked away. Did I see tears forming in his eyes?

“I know you two go way back.” I said. “He showed me the house. He showed me all the pictures he’s kept of you two and Adam. You’re important to him as well.” I smiled.

“He kept those? Now that brings a smile to my face. You know what? You need to meet Adam someday. He’s a good kid, when it comes down to it. A bit left of the path, but good nonetheless. He was here for a second. Helped us with old Bobby Farole. But as soon as he came back, he disappeared again. Yeah, Avery was sort of the son I never had. Don’t tell anyone I said that now. But he is and was. A damn fine soldier, he is.” He nodded in an almost dreamlike trance, to himself.

I looked at the empty strip club. It looked hollow and desolate. There was no music, no dancing, just the sound of the wind coming in from the outside world. Silence used to be mildly comforting. Now it took on a new meaning for me. Evil was lurking in the darkness. On the horizon, the sun ducked its beautiful head under the mountains. What was there left to hold onto if love was punished?

But they would not win. We would not give up. I would stay strong for my man. I had to now more than ever. The darkness is always conquered by the light. That much I knew. As long as we stood up and fought back, we would lead the way to a certain kind of victory: love. I was sure of it. I was positive it was the answer.

“Bruce?” I looked at the man, a born leader now faced-to-face with a big dilemma.

“Yeah, Hope?” He grabbed at a cigarette, but he lost it. It fell onto the hard wood floor.

“Are we at war?” I asked him.

He bent over and picked up the cigarette, carefully lighting the end. These were the times smoking felt the best. It felt right in heated moments such as these.

“I believe we are.” He muttered, taking in a long hard drag.

“What do we do?” I asked him. I needed to help in any way I could. For Avery. I missed his smell, I missed his touch. I missed the cold, hard way he viewed the world. But most of all I missed his presence and drive.

“First things first. We get him out of that hospital. It was a bad move to keep him there. Even with one of our guards watching over him, it's still not enough. So that's what we’re gonna do. We’re going to get him out. And then we’re going to find Angelo. He’ll take us to Luke. I have no doubt about that.” he said.

“What makes you so sure of yourself?” I asked. “Angelo might rather go out in a firefight of glory than give up Luke. Are you prepared for that?” It was worth asking. From what I gathered, these guys were willing to risk everything for a chance at their own type of glory. They were so caught up in their pride that a bullet to the head meant nothing to them.

“Angelo’s not the kind of guy to do that. He's angry because he felt deserted by us. That's all. If he is tricked into feeling like he has respect again amongst his old brothers, he’ll give us what we need.” He threw the cigarette across the room and watched it slowly burn out.

“I hope you're right.” I whispered. “I really do.”

Bruce motioned for me to follow him outside. “Come on.” he said. “Let's get Avery out of that hospital and back into safety.”

I
woke
up with the moon shining onto my hospital bed. I was so groggy. I almost fell back into dreamin’ but somebody pushed me to stay awake.

“Hey baby. I'm right here.” the voice said. I could hardly see. My one eye was taped shut with gauze. The other one was a blurry mess.

“Are you an angel?” I said. Clearly the morphine was doing the trick. I was messed up, feelin’ a little woozy and unsure about everything.

A man stepped forward suddenly, “Yeah, she's an angel alright.”

“Bruce?” I called out. “Hope?”

Bruce leaned over me and whispered, “You gotta stay quiet, brother. We’re bustin’ you out of this place. It ain't safe. Luke’s somewhere out there, waiting for us. You ready to go into hiding?” he asked.

“Shit, I ain't ever hide from anything.” I whispered, coughing from the mixture of pain and all the damn drugs they had me on.

Bruce laughed, “Truest thing I've heard all day. But you’ve got a worried woman waiting for you. Look at her, Avery. She needs you to stay alive.”

“Hope.” I reached out to her and grabbed her hand. She smiled and knelt down in front of me. “I'm sorry. I let you down. I let everyone down.” I said.

She simply smiled and rubbed my hand. “Stop it. It's not true, Avery. You mean the world to me. I'm just so grateful that you're alive. Just promise me that you’ll keep on living. I don't know what I'd do without you.” she began sobbing against my limp body.

“Alright. I guess I can agree to that.” I have my best smile, but I wasn’t feelin’ too hot at this point. I had one thing on my mind: revenge.

“Let's go.” Bruce said. He unplugged my machines and I took out all the wires. They both rolled my sad ass out of that hospital and put me in the van. There would be hell to pay. But first, I had to get the drugs out of my system.

We agreed to stay in a new hideout spot. Apparently The Sapo Boys valued our business ventures together enough to help us out. We had guards, cameras, and a gate that surrounded the compound. Yep. This was beginning to look like a war alright. I braced for the incoming threat.

Luke, I'm coming for you.

T
he minutes turned into hours
, and the hours turned into days. Eventually, through diligent waiting and a lot of whisky, Avery’s face healed.

“I'm still a fucking monster.” he sighed, slamming his fist against the wall.

Bruce just laughed, “Some things never change.” Avery eyed him angrily. “What did you expect? That one day you’d magically turn into a butterfly? You know what kind of cards you were given. Time to be a man again and accept it.”

I, on the other hands, was a bit more supportive. During those lonely nights of desolation and cold despair, I held Avery close and whispered all things good and nice. I figured that, more than anything else, would be the way to healing. Turns out, I was right.

“You're more handsome than ever.” I said. They weren't lies. I actually thought he was perfect the way he was. In fact, the scar kind of suited him. It gave him an added veil of mystery and triumph. It would now be clear to the gang just how much he was willing to give up for them. He was the leader they needed. “Now get up and be the leader of Courage. Be the man they need!” I said.

“You're right. Shit, of course you're right. If you can still love me even though I look like this, I can do anything. You give me strength, Hope. You give me a reason to go on livin’.” I got up and walked into the other room where Bruce was.

He looked up at me, shocked that I was even walking around. “What the hell? Well, look who the cat dragged in.” he said.

I sat down next to him and shook my head. “Got another cigarette?” I asked.

“Sure do, brother.” He reached into his pocket and pulled one out for me. “So.”

I lit the end and smiled. “So.”

“You been out for days. You got a plan for me or what?”

“I was kinda hopin’ you had one.” I laughed.

Bruce lit his own cigarette and laughed with me. “You sure you're all better? I don't wanna lay this shit on you unless you're all healed up.”

“Bruce, I'm not some kid anymore. It's just a little scar. I can handle it.”

“Alright. Well then, I'll let you in on what I know. Angelo has decided to come forward and cooperate.” he said tactfully.

Avery just shook his head. “So that’s it? He's forgiven and allowed back into the crew? Forgive me, boss, but that’s the biggest load of bullshit I ever heard. The man slashes my face and you just let him off the fuckin’ hook? I never thought I'd see the day.”

I stood up. “Bruce, are you seriously going to do this? The man deserves to be thrown to the wolves for what he's done!” I couldn't believe him. Everything we had fought so hard for. It was all for nothing? Fuck that. I wouldn't stand for it.

“Settle down.” Bruce warned. “This is what being a boss is all about. It's about making sacrifices to keep the whole gang safe and together. Angelo wasn't that one who slashed your damn face, Avery. I suspect you already know that. Now, I ain't just lettin’ him back in. I'm making a compromise. He gets to bare the Courage brand, but he has to start from the bottom again. We ain't in the business of rewardin’ traitors! Got it?”

Avery nodded. I still couldn’t see why he was being so lenient towards Angelo. Then again, I wasn't in the business of negotiating. Avery said, “I get it. I do. But promise me one thing, Bruce.”

“Anything, Avery. You know I think of you as a son.”

“That's why I'm asking. We go way back, man. You make it so he suffers. He thinks he had to prove himself when he first joined? Shit, make it so he doesn't know what's comin’ to him.” A sly smile came from Avery’s face.

I wrapped my arms around his smooth neck and breathed in his scent. It was completely comforting. I had gotten so used to him in every way. “So what's next?” I asked. “Where's Luke?”

“That's where things get a little tricky.” Bruce muttered. “Bobby’s guys are housin’ him somewhere nearby. Only thing is, they're after us for that little stunt we pulled not too long ago. And Angelo sure as hell don't know anything. We've questioned him for hours. Only thing he's got is a tip on a kilo of cocaine headed to California. Bobby’s people are making the delivery. We’ll intercept it and see if they got any information on where he's at. It's the best I can do right now.”

“I'll go.” Avery said. “I'm healthy enough now. I'm the man for the job.”

“Avery.” I whispered, though I let my voice trail off. I didn't want to stop him from pursuing this, but it seemed dangerous. I just didn't want him to get hurt. After this last incident, I wasn't so sure about all of this. I mean, I wanted him to lead. I just didn't want him to die because of Luke or Bobby’s men.

Avery turned to me and held my hands. “I'll be safe. I promise you. I just need to do this. For the gang, I need to find Luke. For justice’s sake.” That's when I saw it. He had a fire in his eyes. There was no stopping him now. If anyone was going to find Luke, it would be Avery. He had enough drive in him to stop an army.

“Okay. I trust you.” I acquiesced, squeezing his hands tightly. “Just don't let us down!” He picked me up in his arms and I found myself lost in his warmth. He kissed me and smiled.

“You think I'd let you down? Hell no. There's too much at stake.” he said. I knew he wouldn't. I had all the faith in the world in him.

Suddenly, Bruce’s cell went off. “Just got word that the shipment is on route. Alright, Avery. The job is yours. Get yourself suited up. It's gonna be a long day.”

Avery grabbed his guns and threw on a white t-shirt, complete with a bullet proof vest. “I'm ready.” he said, pressing in the safety on his pistol.