Authors: Natasha Stories
“Only if your
decisions suit me. Otherwise, no.” His grin was irresistible, but I feared
there were some fights ahead for us. My previous habits hadn’t had obedience as
their strong suit. I stuck my tongue out at him, and then ran for the bathroom,
slammed and locked the door as he lunged to catch me. I was afraid if he caught
me, he’d spank me, and then we’d be in bed the rest of the morning. At the
thought, I almost came out and submitted to my punishment, but, since I wanted
to get out of the room for a while, I stayed locked in the bathroom until he
promised not to spank me.
After our
shopping trip, Russ wanted to talk to an obstetrician about whether I could
wait another couple of days to see a doctor about the pregnancy. I just laughed
at him, certain that two days wouldn’t make a bit of difference, which is what
the OB clinic told him after refusing to let him speak to one of the doctors.
To his credit,
he didn’t play the ‘do you know who I am? I could buy and sell your little
clinic ten times’ card. Instead he called Janet and asked her to inquire, discreetly,
who was the best OB in Rawlins. I could hear her squeal from the other side of
the room when Russ yanked the receiver away from his ear.
“Yes, Janet,
it means what you think it does. Do NOT tell anyone. Do you hear me?” He must
have received the answer he wanted, as he hung up. “What shall we do now?”
“I don’t know.
Do you want to go and see the arch?”
“Seen it.”
“But have you
been to the top?”
“No, can’t say
that I have. Do you really want to do that?” Russ seemed bored with the
prospect.
“Not particularly,
but it would kill some time. What I really want to do is get back to the
ranch.”
“You know, we
haven’t told your mom she’s going away. Do you think she’ll go along with it?”
“I don’t know.
I’m thinking we tell her right before we introduce her to her escort. What do
you think?”
“You’re
probably right. Okay, let’s go see that arch, maybe take in a movie before we
go out to dinner. Do you want to put on your new clothes?”
“Russ, I won’t
be showing for ages, so no, not yet.”
I could tell
he was disappointed, but he went along with it. I got the feeling he wanted to
show me off as some kind of bragging: look at what I did—my woman is pregnant.
When the time came, that would be okay with me.
The hours
until Tuesday seemed to drag, except when we were in bed, which was as much as
possible, or when we talked to get to know each other better. I wanted to know
everything about Russ, not just how he had grown up, but what he liked to do,
whether he had friends, and especially how he had collected all of the men on
his payroll.
He talked of
growing up running back and forth between the two ranches on a pony at first,
and then the gelding his dad gave him for his twelfth birthday. How he had
wanted to rodeo, but his mom was opposed to it, as well as to high school
football, as too dangerous. Without boasting, he recounted his graduation from
the local high school as the valedictorian, and going away to Harvard, the
culture shock he had experienced.
I got the
impression that he had been a lonely kid, without many friends, and asked him
about it. He shrugged.
“Maybe. I
didn’t have much in common with the other boys my age. For one thing, there was
an income difference, and though my parents didn’t intend to emphasize it,
keeping me from even the local rodeo circuit and football set me apart. Plus, I
was kind of a nerd.”
“No way!” I
exclaimed. “How do you mean?”
“Oh, I always
had my nose in a book, mostly business and financial. It doesn’t pay to get a
reputation as a ‘brain’ in a small town.”
“Surely the
girls befriended you.”
“Ha! No, not
so’s you’d notice. They all wanted the quarterback, and that wasn’t me.”
Something was
missing in Russ’s story, because he wasn’t telling me about the commanding
ranch owner and businessman that he was now. How had he turned into someone who
would manhandle me one minute, and then be so tender the next? Not that I
minded the manhandling. No, that man could handle me any time. But I would have
time to learn his story in full. I looked at my hand again, wearing its gorgeous
ring. Plenty of time.
§
Eventually,
after what seemed like a week, Tuesday came. We had a leisurely breakfast in
the room, and then Russ took a call. When he was finished, he said, “Get
dressed. We need to go over to your mom’s and let her know what’s happening.”
I was
instantly nervous, wondering if we were going to have to fight her to get her
into the van the rehab center had sent, along with two drivers to switch off
during the long trip. Russ had offered to fly everyone, but the center director
told him that seldom worked well with someone as far gone into alcoholism as my
mom.
In the van,
there was medical equipment and medicine that the fully-qualified EMTs who
drove would be able to use if necessary. A sudden withdrawal from the amounts
of alcohol she was used to drinking might throw my mom into DTs, and that
definitely wouldn’t go over well on an airplane. The upside was that, between
Russ and the two burly women who were to show up, Mom wouldn’t have a chance at
resistance, no matter what she wanted. I asked Russ if we shouldn’t have some
sort of court order, and he looked at me with new respect.
“That would
have been a good idea, Kitten, but it’s too late now. We’ll just have to leave
quickly if she makes a fuss, and we will have papers from the clinic if we have
to defend ourselves from kidnapping charges.”
A lump formed
in my throat. So many legal barriers to doing the right thing; first my
potential car theft charges when I was only defending myself from an unwanted
marriage, and now this. How was it fair that I was the only responsible adult
in the family? Shouldn’t my parents have been looking out for me? But, now I
had Russ, and he showed every intention of doing just that, whether I agreed or
not. The thought made me smile at him, which in turn made him stride swiftly to
me and kiss me, hard.
“It’s going to
be okay, Kitten. I promise.”
We drove in
silence to my mom’s trailer, where the gloom inside worried me, since it was
mid-morning and the sun was shining. But, I found her in her bed for once,
passed out cold. With any luck, she’d be in the van and on her way before she
woke up. No, that wouldn’t be right; she’d be so frightened if she woke up in a
moving vehicle with two strange women. We needed to wake her up and tell her
what was happening.
“Mom. Wake up,
hon. It’s Charity.”
It took
several minutes to make her stir, and I began to be afraid that this wasn’t
just sleep but an alcohol-induced coma. Then Russ tried. Shaking her by the
shoulders roughly, he barked, “Mrs. Brown, wake up!”
Her eyes flew
open, and then squeezed tightly shut.
“Go ‘way, I’m
sleepin’. Come ba’ later.”
“Mrs. Brown,
you need to wake up. It’s Russ and I’m here with Charity. We need to talk to
you.”
Gradually,
with persuasion from me and bullying from Russ, who was good at it, we brought
her to what we considered full consciousness, and along with it, full
annoyance.
“Wha’ th’ fuck
d’ya want from me? Char’ty I don’t like your boyfrien’. Tell ‘im to get out.”
“Mom, Russ is
my fiancé. But that’s not why we’re here. You’re sick, mom, and someone’s
coming to take you to a place where you can get well.”
Confusion
flooded her face. “I’m no’ sick, jus’ drunk.”
“That’s just it,
mom, you’re drunk, but you’ve been asleep for a long time. You shouldn’t still
be drunk. You need to go to a clinic and get sober.”
If words could
have done it, those would have. Her eyes widened in alarm and she sat up too
quickly, then sank back with her arms spread out as if she were trying to catch
her balance. “No, I’m no’ goin’ to any
clinic
.” She spat the last word
out in disgust.
“Mom, you have
to. I’m going with Russ, and you can’t take care of yourself. You’ll freeze
here the next time they shut the power off. This place isn’t fit for pigs to
live in. If you won’t do it for you, Mom, do it for me. You owe me.”
Russ was
standing back, letting me handle my mom in the way I saw fit, but when she took
a swing at me, he stepped in and caught her hand. She tried to hit him with the
other.
“Mom!” I
cried. But, Russ had it handled.
“Elizabeth,”
he said with an even but firm tone, “we can do this one of two ways. You can
listen to what Charity has to say and then go graciously when the EMTs get
here, or I can carry you kicking and screaming out the door in a straitjacket.
Which is it going to be?”
Mom gasped
when he said straitjacket, and tears started flowing down her cheeks as she
shook her head and started chanting, “No, no, no, please no.”
“No
straitjacket?” Russ asked, more kindly.
“Not again,
no, please.” Russ looked at me questioningly. I shrugged my shoulders. Mom
hadn’t been sober enough to talk to me about the years after she’d sent me
away, and I could see enough of the result to not want to know the details.
Whatever had frightened her about straitjackets was her secret, but I could
imagine. I tried again.
“Mom, two nice
ladies are going to come and get you in an ambulance. They’re going to take you
someplace where it’s nice and warm, even in the winter. And then, when you’re
well, you can come and live with Russ and me. Won’t that be nice?”
She looked
from Russ to me and back, her head tilted.
“That’s
right,” Russ said. “Mrs. Brown, I’m going to marry Charity. She has some good
news for you, something that will make you want to get well. Tell her,
Charity.”
“Mom, I’m
going to have a baby.”
Her mouth
dropped open. “When?” she asked.
“I’m not sure,
but I think next summer sometime. I’m about two, two and a half months along.”
“Why didn’t
you tell me?”
“Mom, when
have you been sober enough to hear me? I could have told you every day and you
still wouldn’t know it.”
Even as my
words betrayed my anger at her, my heart broke as I longed for the mom I
remembered from before the divorce. Now anger at my father flooded in. How
could he have done what he did, and destroyed my mom in the process? I wasn’t
sure I could ever forgive him.
She dropped
her head, crying. “I can’t help it, Charity. You don’t know what I’ve been
through.”
Gathering my
resolve, I put the emotion aside and stood firm. “I think I can guess, Mom, but
that’s all over, now. We’re going to take care of you, and it starts with you
going willingly to the clinic that Russ is being nice enough to pay for.
They’ll treat you well, you’ll see.”
Mom just
nodded, and Russ put his big hand on her shoulder to comfort her. A few minutes
later, the knock came at the door.
It just about
broke my heart to see my mom’s pleading face, tears streaming down her cheeks,
as she looked back at me from between the two women who held her arms firmly. I
blew her a kiss and nodded encouragingly, and then they were in the van and
driving away. I slumped with relief. As grueling as the emotional confrontation
had been, it was far better than Russ’s alternative scenario.
Russ pulled me
up and asked if there was anything I wanted from the trailer. After a brief
search of my mother’s room for any trinket she may have wanted as a keepsake,
finding nothing, I told him we could go. We went to the park office, where Russ
threw down the next month’s rent in cash and told the manager that she would do
best to have that trailer hauled to the dump and burned. Then we left for the
airport.
Driving from
the tiny Rawlins airport to the ranch was an adventure, as the typical Wyoming
winter winds were in full force. I was more than happy to sit quietly as Russ
concentrated on keeping the SUV on the road. It was dark by the time we reached
home. Home, a word that hadn’t had much meaning for me before now. A rush of
gratitude toward Russ made me throw my arms around him as soon as he had pulled
to a halt. Whether he understood what it was for or not, he held me close and
kissed me.
“Welcome home,
Kitten.” It was so perfect that it brought tears to my eyes. Even more perfect
was when he told me to stay put, came around to my side of the car and pulled
me into his arms to carry me in, the same way he’d done the first time I ever
saw this place. His strong arms cradled me, and mine circled his neck. As we
burst in through the kitchen door, Janet stood beaming to greet us.
“Welcome home
Miss Charity. How are you feeling?” I knew Russ had strongly hinted my
condition when he asked her to research OBs, but didn’t expect her to confront
the subject so quickly.
“I’m fine,
Janet. Russ was just being silly, carrying me. I can walk just fine.”
“He was
bringing his bride over the threshold, weren’t you, Mr. Russ?” she asked.
“Something
like that,” he laughed. “I may make a habit of it. She’s a nice little armful.”
“Hey, I’m
right here,” I protested.
“Are y’all
hungry?” Janet asked, ever ready to feed someone. As a matter of fact, I was
ravenous. It was long past dinner time in St. Louis, and my appetite was
getting bigger every day.
“Starved,” I
answered. Janet’s eyes traveled to my still-flat belly, then upward to my
fuller breasts, and she nodded with evident satisfaction.
“We’ll take
care o’ that, you sit down and rest.”
I could have
protested that I’d been in a plane or a car all day and had enough of sitting,
but it would have done no good. So I sat at the kitchen table while Russ went
out for my luggage, now full of maternity clothes, and Janet whipped up a
delicious meal of leftover vegetable-beef soup and homemade bread. Based on my
previous sojourn in this house, I didn’t expect my belly to remain flat for
long, pregnancy or no pregnancy. Russ and I both enjoyed a big bowl of soup and
slice after slice of bread. When Janet asked if I had room for a brownie, I
groaned. Brownies were my absolute favorite of her desserts, but I truly
couldn’t have eaten another bite at the moment.
“Later, I
promise,” I said, to Russ’s amusement. He ate his brownie on the spot, topped
with vanilla ice cream and accompanied by a big glass of milk, while I coveted
every bite and every swallow.
Wondering
where everyone was and why the house was so quiet, I sent Russ a silent
question about it. Janet intercepted the look. “Miss Charity, Annalee, Celeste,
Ciara, Janey and Amber are keeping the kids quiet for your homecoming. They all
want to see you if you’re up to it.”
Up to it? Of
course I was up to it! When would these idiots stop treating me like an
invalid? I jumped from my chair, and said, “Where?”
“They’re in
the home theater room,” she said. Not sure which wing of the house held that
room, having only seen it once, I looked at Russ again.
“Come on,” he
said, taking my hand. We found the five women and six toddlers watching an old
Disney movie, and the kids were variously set crying or struck dumb as Russ
turned on the lights and the girls rushed at me. Laughing, crying, hugging and
exclaiming, we greeted each other like the old friends we were. Russ was
comforting the children, some of whom clung to him in obvious adoration. I
could see he’d been busy winning them over since I left.
“Girls,” he
said now, in a firm tone. “Charity’s tired. There’ll be time enough to catch up
later. Why don’t you finish watching the movie and then turn in?”
Accustomed as
they were to obeying the orders of their men, they all gathered their children
and resumed their seats without protest. A small shudder of misgiving passed
through me as I wondered what they thought of this arrangement. Did they all
think we were sister wives now?
Over my dead body!
I thought. I knew
Russ wouldn’t have touched any of them. We may not have been well acquainted,
but I knew to the very depths of my heart that he was faithful.
Cuddled in
Russ’s arms in bed much later, I reflected on the journey that had brought me
there. It was barely three months since Russ had pulled me, half frozen, from
the ditch and brought me here. Three months since an unwary night of passion
had sealed us together, and thank god for that. The month that I’d spent away
from him had been the most miserable of my existence. I still didn’t understand
love at first sight, but now I believed in it. Russ made me believe it.
I snuggled
closer to my man, who was sleeping the sleep of the truly contented, sprawled
on his back, his legs spread. Early in the morning, I’d wake him for another
interlude like the one that had tranquilized him tonight. For now, I laid my
hand gently on his slumbering manhood, and flung my leg over his nearest one.
His only response was to tighten his arm around me in his sleep, but I was
looking up at his face, and I’d swear a smile stole over it.
§
The few days
before Christmas were a whirlwind. Russ was impatient to have me seen by a
doctor, and managed somehow to get a highly qualified OB out to the ranch for a
house call, all the way from Cheyenne. I liked her immediately, and was extra
grateful to Janet for finding me a woman. Russ would have been less than
pleased with a male doctor, I thought, and I was more comfortable with a woman
anyway.
With her, Doctor
Beth brought portable ultrasound equipment and an examination table that folded
up, stirrups and all. She shooed Russ out of the room while she did the manual
palpation to determine the state of my uterus. Grumbling that she wasn’t going
anywhere he hadn’t been before, Russ left with poor grace. As soon as she was
finished, she called him back in.
“Congratulations,
Mr. White. You are going to be a dad, sometime next June.” His face wreathed in
happy smiles, Russ pumped his fist and shouted, “Yes!” Then he asked the sex of
the baby. I wasn’t sure I wanted to know, but as it turned out, the pictures
were inconclusive. Dr. Beth said that usually meant girl, since a boy normally
showed up pretty well. I smiled, and mouthed ‘I told you so’ at him. Russ’s
face took on the tenderest look I’d ever seen on it, even in the aftermath of
our lovemaking. “A little girl. Kitten, we’re having a little girl.”
“Come here,” I
demanded. He came to my side and hugged me awkwardly. Dr. Beth tried to say
that it was only a 60-40 chance, we’d know more next time, but both of us knew
in our hearts that she’d called it right the first time. Russ thanked her
profusely as she packed up.
“Mr. White,
there is no reason in the world that your wife can’t travel for her
appointments, at least for the next several months. I recommend you allow her
some physical exercise. It will go easier on her when the time comes to
deliver.”
“Whatever she
feels like doing, I promise, she can do,” he answered.
“Can I ride
the horses?” I asked.
Both of them
turned to me with the intention of speaking. Russ got there first. “No!”
Dr. Beth
looked at him, then at me. “Are you in the habit of riding?”
I had to admit
I wasn’t. “Then I wouldn’t recommend you start now. Wait until after the baby
is born to learn to ride, okay Mrs. White?”
“Okay.” I
didn’t bother to correct her mistake. I’d be Mrs. White soon, at least I
thought it would be soon.
After cleaning
up, I found Russ in his office, catching up on some paperwork. “Russ, do you
have time to talk with me about the wedding?”
“I thought
we’d do that on our way over to my parents’ for dinner,” he said. “They’re
going to want to know our plans, and I have just a few thoughts about it.
Otherwise, you can have whatever kind of wedding you want, from a civil
marriage down at the courthouse to the biggest wedding these parts have ever
seen.”
“Oh,” I said,
the possibilities opening up before me like I’d never dreamed of. “Okay. What
shall I wear to your parents’?”
“Wear one of
your new dresses, please?”
All of my new
dresses were stretchy knit numbers, some with smocking at the waist to expand
with the baby, others with empire waists. I knew what he was doing, but didn’t
have the heart to argue with him. He wanted to show off, so be it, though my
baby bump had yet to make an appearance. I went to dress in one with an empire
waist, that being the broadest hint I’d be able to manage with my still-flat
belly.
Russ’s parents
were very gracious, and I felt immediately at home despite my apprehension of
what they’d think of me. His mom, Eleanor, was a tall, slender woman with an
elegant sense of style that carried over into her home’s decor. His dad, a
shorter version of Russ, with hair that was turning silver over his ears. They
had to have been in their fifties, but Jack was straight and still muscular,
while Eleanor moved with the grace of a much younger woman, showing no trace of
her age.
I couldn’t
help comparing her wrinkle-free face with the harridan my own mother had
become, and feeling sorry about it. Jack showed us into a family room and
offered drinks. My eyes flew to Russ’s face, and found he was beaming broadly.
“Mom, Dad,
before we have drinks, let me formally introduce you to Charity Green, who I’ve
asked to be my bride as you know.”
“Welcome,
Charity,” Eleanor said.
“You sure know
how to pick ‘em, son,” said his dad, “just like your old man. She’s got good
lines. Hi, Charity.”
Blushing at
his assessment of me, akin to what he would say about one of his prize horses,
I shyly answered. “Hi, and thank you for welcoming me to your home,”
“Honey, you’re
welcome to not only our home, but our family, as long as you treat my boy here
right.” Jack was as blunt as Russ, but somehow not as intimidating. “Now can I
get us those drinks?”
“For you, mom
and me, Dad. Charity doesn’t drink.”
Jack paused in
mid-stride, as I looked questioningly at Russ, who winked at me ever so
quickly. I got it then, and held my peace until Jack handed his wife a glass of
wine, and gave Russ one of the two old-fashioned glasses with a couple of
fingers of scotch in each. Russ cleared his throat, then put his arm around me.
“Mom, Dad, we
have another announcement, and I’d like to make a toast to Charity, who is
going to be the mother of my first child.” I watched in alarm as his mom’s wine
glass wobbled, the shock in her eyes making me worry that this wasn’t such a
welcome announcement. But then, she raised her glass and touched it to Jack’s,
a beautiful smile blooming on her face.
Russ’s joined
them, and Jack’s big voice boomed out, “That’s the best news I’ve heard in a
month of Sundays! Isn’t it, Mother?” Eleanor looked over at me and smiled
kindly. “It truly is,” she said, softly. “When is the wedding? And when is my
grandchild due?”
I let Russ do
the talking, mostly because there was no choice. These were his parents, and I
was profoundly grateful that they had taken our news so well. So I sat quietly
while they discussed our future.
“Baby’s due in
June, we’ll know a little more accurately after her next appointment. As for
the wedding, we’ve got some issues to deal with.”
Eleanor’s look
of concern made him pause. “Nothing we can’t handle, Mom. The thing is, we’d
like to get married before the baby gets here.”
“I should
think so!” she exclaimed primly.
“Right. But,
Charity has parents too, and there are considerations. We’ve talked, and she’s
okay with me telling you this.” Russ explained the circumstances of my parents’
divorce, and the fact that I’d spent three years in an RALDS compound before
running away. As soon as the sect was mentioned, Jack swore and Eleanor drew a
sharp breath.
Russ told them
that my father was still a member, and that we weren’t sure there would ever be
a reconciliation between us, much less in time for a wedding before the baby
came, but that we felt obligated to get in touch. Then he told them about my
mother. We wouldn’t know for at least a month whether she would be able to
attend a wedding that was less than six months away.
“So,” Eleanor
summarized, after composing herself. “It could be as late as May. But then,
dear,” she said, turning to me, “you’ll be showing. Do you want that?”
“I’m not
ashamed of it, Mrs. White.”
“Oh, please,
call me mom. Or at least Mom White.” That pleased me, more than anything she
could have said.
“There’s no
reason for you to be ashamed, dear, but don’t you want a pretty dress? One that
will show off your lovely figure? If so, we’re either going to need to get
started right away, or wait until after the baby is born.”
“No child of
mine is going to be illegitimate,” thundered Russ. This was the point we had
debated on the way over. My solution was to go ahead and get married without my
parents, and then if we wanted to later, we could have a re-enactment. Russ
wasn’t so keen on that idea, but realized he was the bottleneck for both
options. And truly, I didn’t care if I got married in a potato sack, as long as
it was Russ beside me when it came time to say ‘I Do’.