Ryker (The Ride #4) (17 page)

“We’ll let you get some rest,” Ettie said, picking up on my exhaustion. “We’re so glad you’re okay.”

“Thanks, guys.” I sighed, sinking lower into the bed. I was asleep before the door shut behind them.

Chapter 16

T
he sound of raised voices woke me up the next day. I’d been discharged the previous evening and though I was glad to be out of the hospital, I was debating how much better off I was at home. At least the nurses hadn’t acted like I was going to die if I set a foot on the ground.

To say Ryker’s mood hadn’t improved would be a massive understatement. He’d barely spoken since we’d arrived home, despite the fact that he hadn’t left my side. His gaze tracked my every movement, his jaw clenched.

Sleep had been the only escape and so I’d fallen asleep early and slept late.

I rose from bed, drawn to the noise downstairs.

“Do I need to lock you down?” I heard Axel demand of his brother, as I hovered on the first step of the landing, unable to stop myself from eavesdropping. “You look like you’re losing your shit and that can’t happen, not now, bro. We gotta play this smart.”

There was a pregnant pause before Ryker delivered a begrudging, “I know.”

“We’re pulling everything in tight,” Cole’s voice cut in. “We’re setting up a full perimeter around the town. No one’s getting in.”

“When are we hunting these motherfuckers down?” Ry growled.

“When Prez makes that call,” Axel replied. “This surpassed business into being personal a long time ago. He wants this handled, but he wants it done his way. For now, we’re focused on security.”

“Jill and Connie all right?” Ry asked.

“From what I hear,” Cole replied. “I need you to be cool, man. Wes is fucking losin’ it, I need you rational,” he ordered.

Connie and the baby had been given a clean bill of health, but the fact that his pregnant wife had been run off the road wasn’t something Wes was going to get over anytime soon.

“How’s Pipe?” Axel asked.

“She’ll be okay. When I think about how much worse this could have been—”

I winced at the pain in his voice.

Axel cut him off. “Don’t go there, man.”

“She’s just starting to move on—to smile more. I don’t want this shit setting her back.”

“She might be smilin’ more, but brother, you aren’t,” Axel’s deep voice rumbled. “I used to have to fight for you to keep your shit straight. Now, I just want to see you lighten up.”

I heard Ry sigh. “Never been happier, not since I knew she’d be mine again. But fuck, never felt a bigger weight than the fear of something happening to her.”

At that point I stepped back into the bedroom and got back into bed. Whatever Ry’s fears might be, I wanted to hear them from him directly—not from listening in where I shouldn’t be.

I heard the front door slam shut moments later and the sound of Ry’s feet hit the stairs with the dogs in tow.

“Hey,” I murmured as he leaned in the doorway, his gaze sweeping over me.

“Hey,” he replied.

“Come here,” I beckoned.

He stepped into the room and lay carefully on his side of the bed. “I’m okay, babe,” I assured him, reaching out for his hand and squeezing. “Really. It was scary as shit, I’m not gonna lie, but I’m just grateful the girls and I are okay. Everything else, I know you’ll take care of it—of me,” I assured him.

He turned his head to look me in the eye. “That’s a promise,” he swore.

***

After I was nearly reduced to pitching a serious fit the next day, I convinced Ry to let me out of the house to go check on Connie. I was feeling much better and I was desperate to see for myself that she was doing okay.

Sophie had convinced Jill to stay with her and Axel for the time being. With a broken arm, she had trouble doing everything she needed to do for Mason. I was relieved she’d accepted the help. Something I’d learned about Jill, she could be a stubborn one.

“You doing okay?” I asked, as I sat on the edge of Connie’s bed that afternoon.

She groaned. “I feel fine. The baby is fine. Mr. Alpha Male Control Freak out there is being completely insane.”

I bit back a smile, relieved she was back to her old, dramatic self. “How’s he doing with the whole about-to-be-a-daddy thing?” I wanted to know.

“Other than being psychotically overprotective?” She snorted. “He’s good. He seems excited. I still feel awful that’s how he had to find out.” She winced.

I didn’t blame her. It was pretty shitty.

“You faring any better with Ry? You’re here—granted, he’s twenty feet away in my kitchen, but I’ll take that as a good sign.” She grinned.

I smiled. “He’s pretty riled up, not talking much. I know this is hard on him—way harder on him than me. I wish we could do something fun. Something that normal twenty-somethings would do.” I sighed, wistful.

“You can.” She nodded in understanding. “You
should
.”

I traced my fingers over the pattern on the bedspread. “You’re right. I’ll figure it out. I’m glad you’re okay,” I added, rising. I didn’t want to linger too long. I knew Wes would come in any second to check on his lady.

“Thanks, chica. Ditto. Hey, on your way out can you tell Wes I want a cold cut turkey sandwich with blue cheese?” she asked, with a twinkle in her eye.

I felt my brow crease. “Is that some sort of secret pregnancy joke I don’t get?” I demanded.

“You got it.” She laughed.

“Right,” I muttered with a playful eye roll.

“Ready, babe?” I asked Ry, when I swept into the living room and grabbed my purse.

He nodded, putting down the mug of coffee he’d been drinking from.

“Oh hey, Wes, Connie’s hungry,” I added, distracted. “Something about cold cuts and blue cheese?” I questioned with a shrug, as Ry threw an arm around my shoulders.

I watched Wes’s eyes narrow, as he shook his head in exasperation. “Dammit, Con!” he hollered toward their bedroom, and her laughter filled the air.

“I assume you’re not supposed to eat those things when you’re pregnant,” I stage whispered to Ry, who smiled for the first time in days.

“Think you’re right.” He chuckled as Wes stalked over to reprimand his wife.

“Can we stop by and see my dad?” I asked, after we’d gotten in the truck.

He looked over at me, his expression soft. “Yeah, baby, we can do that.”

“I’ll wait out here for you,” he told me when we’d pulled up to the curb.

I looked at him in surprise. “You don’t want to come in?”

Since that second visit, he’d been with me a few times to visit with my dad. He’d even come on his own once or twice.

He offered a small smile. “Nah, Tink, you spend some time with him. It’s important.”

I nodded, leaning over to deliver a quick kiss before heading inside.

“What happened to your head?” my dad asked, curious, eyeing the small bandage on my forehead.

I offered a casual shrug. “Ry and I are working on some home repairs, I banged my head. No biggie.” In no way did I feel guilty for lying to him. The last thing he needed was to worry about me. Plus, it was no stretch to imagine I’d hurt myself with a home improvement project. I’d come close more than once, before Ry had revoked my privileges.

His brow lifted in surprise. “Ry is letting you loose with a hammer?”

I rolled my eyes. “Well, he
was
.”

My dad threw his head back and laughed. I grinned, relishing the sound.

“The Subaru finally bit the dust,” I shared, taking a sip of coffee and looking around the cafeteria.

He didn’t need to know exactly how my car had met its bitter end. It was going to happen eventually—one way or another.

“Surprised it lasted as long as it did,” he replied. “I’d offer you mine but it’s on its last legs as well. Actually, your aunt Caroline is looking to sell her SUV. It’s a brand-new Acadia. I bet she’d give you a great deal.”

I watched him sip his coffee as an idea began to take root. “Actually, that’s not a bad idea,” I hedged. “I’ve been looking for an excuse to do something fun with Ryker. What if we flew down with you, got you settled, and then we could drive back?”

His brow lifted in surprise. “I’d like that, sweetie, and Aunt Caroline would love to see you, but are you sure you’d want to do that?”

“I’d have to talk to Ry,” I replied. I honestly didn’t know how he’d take the idea. He was a bit unpredictable as of late. “It’d be nice to see you settled,” I murmured. “And getting out of town is just an added bonus.”

The conversation I’d overheard between Ry and his brother remained in the forefront of my mind. Things had been heavy between Ry and me since I’d been back in town, made more so by the Riders’ threat. I wanted us to have some fun together.

He offered a warm smile. “I’d like that too.”

“I’ll talk to Ry about it tonight and let you know.” I didn’t have long to work on him; my dad was leaving in less than a week.

“Sounds good, honey.” He nodded.

*****

“
No
.” Ry’s curt reply came after I’d carefully broached the subject later that night. I’d waited until after we’d eaten, until after he’d had two beers, hoping to catch him in a mellow mood.

I should have known there was no such thing with him lately. I would have waited until after sex, but he wasn’t having that until my bruising had healed. He was treating me like I’d break, and it was driving me crazy.

“Ry, please. Just think about it,” I implored.

“I can’t leave right now, Pipe, you know how things are. The fact that you’re even asking pisses me off,” he fired back.

I sat up straighter, my eyes narrowed. “It pisses you off that I’d want to visit with my family? That I’d want to see my dad settled?” My voice rose higher as I stood up, scraping my chair back with a loud screech. “That I’d want to get out of town with my boyfriend and try—
try
to have some fun?” I demanded, angrily.

“Calm down,” he ordered, his eyes tracking my movements, as I shoved my dishes in the dishwasher.

I took a deep breath despite his order making me want to fly off the handle. “Babe, you know I’ve always supported the club. I respect the loyalty and dedication you put into it. I know how much you love it. But shit went sideways and I feel like you’re keeping me at arm’s length.”

His eyes narrowed, but I soldiered on.

“We both know you could get away for a few days. The guys would understand,” I continued. “This
matters
to me, Ry. I know your club matters to you more than almost anything, but I want to come first with you. No, I
need
to. You have to decide if you can give me that.” I sighed, pulling the dishwasher closed and turning to face his anger head on.

He stood up, moving into my space, and forcing me to take several steps back as his eyes blazed with anger down at me. “That a threat?” he growled. “’Cause it sure as hell sounds like it to me. You think this is how to get what you want?” he demanded, pointing a finger in my face. “Throw a hissy fit and then threaten me?”

I looked up at him in shock. I’d never expected him to respond this way and he’d never unleashed his temper on me like this.

I met his blistering gaze. “Step back,” I ordered. “You need to go cool off.”

He grumbled before doing as I asked.

I swallowed down the tears that were choking me. “I just wanted to get out of town with you for a few days. I thought it’d be fun.” I made a scoffing sound, wiping the mutinous tear that escaped. “Now—now all I want to know is why it’s so goddamned wrong that I’d want to come first with you, Ry?” I rasped. “You want to build a family? You want to make this house ours? But me wanting to come first is a threat? How’s that?” I demanded, angrily, his image blurring behind my tears.

He just stared at me with his jaw clenched. I couldn’t get a read on him, but I didn’t need to just then. No, I needed to get this out.

“I didn’t threaten you before—wouldn’t have dreamed of it. But how about this, Ry? Since you think I’m so capable of it? You get in my face like this again, I am
gone
,” I bit out, slipping from the corner he’d backed me into. “You should leave. You’re sure as hell not sleeping with me tonight, and whatever’s eating at you, I don’t think it has much to do with what’s under this roof,” I added, leaving the room, the dogs at my heels as I headed up the stairs, forcing myself to keep my tread slow even, though I wanted to run like hell.

He didn’t follow—not that I’d expected him to. It wasn’t long before I heard the rumble of his bike kick up as he sped off down the street.

I was mad as hell at him but worry was suddenly the most prevalent emotion. I needed to make sure he’d be safe.

I texted Axel.

Ry and I just had it out. He’s in a weird headspace. Just left the house.

His response came not a minute later.
I’ll get him.

I sighed with relief. I knew Axel would look after his brother and now I could allow myself to process my anger without worrying about the man I loved.

I wandered into the wreckage that was my parents’ old bedroom—soon to be ours. I surveyed the empty room, eyeing the partially demolished wall between the closet and the bathroom, the fresh paint to the right contrasted by the wreckage to the left.

I picked up the sledgehammer, its weight comforting in my hands. The dogs sat at my side, eyeing me warily.

“What?” I demanded aloud. “You don’t think I can take the rest of that wall down?”

Tank cocked his head.

Dammit, even the dog doubted me when I had any sort of tool in my hands.

I swung my arms, impaling the sledgehammer into the wall with as much force as I could muster.

I made a dent, a small one, but it was something. I felt an immediate surge of gratification.

I swung at that wall for hours, until every inch of plaster was in a heap at the base of my feet. My arms were shaking with exhaustion and my back burned, but I didn’t notice as I proudly studied the empty space I’d created.

I’d always tried to build things up—tearing something down was an entirely different sense of gratification.

“What’re you doin’?” Ry’s voice demanded from behind me.