Sacked (Gridiron #1) (20 page)

I
wait
until we’re out of earshot of Coach Lowe’s office before spinning on Ace. “Do you think he’ll kick Masters off the team?”

“Maybe not. But he’d probably pull his support for Masters going pro after this season. I wouldn’t test Coach.” Ace walks off, presumably to continue icing his arm.

“What will you do?” Jack asks. “Text him?

I rear back. “No. I won’t break up with him via text. Is Coach Lowe bugging the phones? I'm calling him.” No way I would do it so cold heartedly.

“He'll talk you out of it,” Jack warns.

I wish
.

When I get back to my apartment after classes, I check the time. Knox will be going to film class. I rub a hand over my eyes, wanting this to all go away.

He picks up on the first ring.

“Hey, baby, what's up? You excited for the softball game tonight? Undefeated Horny Toads!” He lets out a low whistle. Oh shit. I forgot. We’re playing last year’s intramural softball champs—the Gilded Lilies—the team with Champs in gold foil on their pullovers and matching hats. He continues, “I also picked up our costumes for the Halloween party. I’m warning you right now. I look damn good in pink. You won’t keep your hands off me.”

Knox and I planned to go to a Sigma Chi Halloween party as Power Rangers. Red for me; pink for him. He thought it ironic.

“We're breaking up,” I blurt out.

“No, I can hear you fine.”

“Not the phone line. Us. We can't see each other anymore.”

“What are you taking about?”

“I don't want to see you again. I’m sorry to say this, but when I learned you were a virgin, I wanted to be your first. Make my mark on you. I figured after I had you, I’d have my pick of any guy at Western.”

He laughs at first, but then sputters when I don’t join in.

“Are you fucking serious?” There’s finally a hint of anger in his voice.

“Yes.” I’m so glad we are not face to face.

“Did you hit your head or something? I'm coming over. You sound like you suffered a concussion.”

“No, don't come over. I-I—” I look around wildly for an excuse and seize on a random one. “I'm seeing someone else and he's here.”

“Since when?” he demands.

“He's on my softball team. The shortstop. Ryan Schneider.”
Oh, Ryan, I am so sorry I’m throwing you under the bus.

Silence hangs between us.

“Put him on,” Knox growls.

“No.”

“Let me talk to him.”

“No. I'm sorry. We're done.” In a rush I hang up, afraid of what Knox will say or do. He calls back immediately and I put my phone on do not disturb. Then I block him because Jack is right. I’m weak when it comes to Knox. Very weak.

My good intentions evaporate when he shows up at the softball game. He looks gorgeous. Big, brawny and all mine. Except he’s not anymore, and if Coach Lowe gets word that he’s here with me, we’re both in trouble. Knox doesn’t even pretend he’s here to do anything but hassle me. He leans against the edge of the wall that serves as the home run marker.

“You have to leave,” I hiss without turning around. “We’ve broken up. You can’t be here.”

“Why, because your new boyfriend will see us together?” he asks, a hint of mockery in his voice.

“Who?”

“Schneider,” he reminds me impatiently. “The guy who’s taken my place between this morning when I ate you out and sometime after your last class of the day.”

I flush a dull red—both at his crude words and my obviously bad lie. I need to think of better excuses.

“Hey, Schneider,” he calls out.

The rangy shortstop raises his head and looks around. Knox whistles and Schneider trots over, completely abandoning his position. The power of Knox Masters.

“Hey, Masters,” Schneider greets him like a long lost brother. They do a complicated thing with their hands and a half hug. “What’s up? Seven-and-oh with only five games left. That’s pretty damn exciting.”

“We’ve got nothing on the Horny Toads.” Masters nods toward the field. “Although Ellie says that the Gilded Lilies are tough competitors.”

“Those girls know how to use the bat,” Schneider replies.

Then why aren’t you minding the field? I cry in my head. Outwardly, I try to signal Schneider in on the fact that I’ve used him as a beard. My wriggling eyebrows and furtive hand gestures are greeted with a puzzled look.

“Ellie tells me that you two are seeing each other now,” Masters says casually. He turns and spits about an inch from Schneider’s toes.

“What?” Schneider yelps. He jumps away from me. “Gosh, Ellie. I think you’re a good left fielder, but I thought you knew I played for the other team. Oh, look, the Lilies are up to bat.” He quickly scampers off.

“Schneider’s gay?” I gape.

Knox looks at me with a pointed stare. “Your gaydar needs work. Also your lying.”

My gaze drops to my sneakers. “We shouldn’t see each other anymore.”

His large hand cups the back of my neck. I don’t look up even at that, afraid of what I’ll see there. Of what I’ll do. “Are you worried about Ty coming? I told you he’ll love you.”

Oh, Knox.

“We still on for tomorrow?” The uncertainty in his voice kills me.

I nod because I know what I have to do.

He retreats to the stands and watches my Horny Toads get shellacked by the Gilded Lilies. They do know how to use their bats
and
their gloves.

“What was that all about?” Schneider mutters in the dugout as we’re gathering up our equipment.

“I want to break up with Knox and I used you as an excuse. Sorry.” I make an apologetic face.

“Use someone else next time,” Schneider hisses. He pats his really nicely gelled blond hair. “I’m breakable.”

How did I miss Schneider was gay? I guess because I only have eyes for Knox. No one really exists for me but him.

Knox waits for me, but I see with a sigh of relief that Jack is there too. “Sorry, I can’t go out tonight. Lots of homework. My rough draft for the grant is due.”

I hurry in the opposite direction while Jack distracts Knox.

There’s one thing that will make Knox believe we are over. It’s the place I didn’t want to go, but I have to.

“Hi, Matty.” I drop my two grocery bags on the kitchen counters.

Matty waves his hand from the sofa. I think there’s a permanent indentation from his butt on the cushion. His dark hair gleams wet from his shower.

“Do you have your sexy costume picked out?”

“Knox picked them up yesterday.” I need Matty to get out of here.

“How come this dinner is a secret?”

Jack had Knox issue a team wide omerta—no one speaks of the fact that I came here tonight—or I wouldn’t come.

“Coach Lowe doesn’t want any distractions.” I answer. It’s true enough.

“Huh. He never said anything to us.”

“He told Jack. I don’t want to cause any trouble.” Also true.

I don’t want to be here cooking dinner for Knox and Ty. I’m not in the partying mood, but I have to see this dinner through. I have to act as if nothing out of the ordinary happened, which means I’m excited to see Ty, excited for the stupid Halloween party, excited to cook this meal.

And I have to banter with Matty even though my mouth is coated with acid and self-loathing. “I think the question is: do you have your sexy costume picked out?”

“I can’t go as sexy, Ellie. If I did, none of the other guys would get laid. All the honeys would be flocked around me and that’s damn unfair.”

I laugh, but he’s probably not far off the mark. Matty has zero problems with the ladies.

“Where is everyone?”

“Everyone or Masters?”

“Everyone. Knox will show up. After all, this is his place.”

Matty and I share a smile because we all know that Matty treats it like his place. Jack was probably right making me come here and go through all these planned events as if nothing has changed. It’s impossible not to be around the team and not laugh. They are a great group of guys.

“Knox had to do a couple of interviews. He’s famous now.” Matty wiggles his eyebrows. “Besides, I heard you were cooking dinner.”

“For
Knox.”
I emphasize his name.

“And his brother.”

“Is your last name Masters?”

“It might as well be. Plus, I can help you. I know how to cook.” Matty gets off the sofa and waltzes into the kitchen.

“You do?”

“Yeah. What did you bring?” He starts to dig through the sacks.

“Steak and potatoes.” I grimace. “Not very original.”

“If you don’t mind, I’ve got a good way to cook steaks. I like to baste them in butter.”

“Baste? That word sounds professional to me.”

“My dad’s a chef,” Matty admits. “I might have picked up a few things from him.”

I slide the steaks over. “Have at it, but I’m still pretending I cooked tonight.”

“No problem.” Matty knows this kitchen better than I do. He pulls out a cast iron pan and sets it on the burner. “Salt and pepper are in the cabinet by the sink.” He points to the cabinet and I trot over to pull out the spices. “You salt and pepper the steaks while I get the rest of this ready. What do you think for potatoes? Scalloped or regular baked?”

“I planned to put them in the microwave,” I confess.

Matty looks at me like I’m a heathen. “Yeah, I’m making scalloped.”

He instructs me on peeling and then slicing them while he adds more salt to the steaks.

“If your fan club could see you now, they’d be standing outside the door in a line like teens waiting for 1D.”

“What makes you think they aren’t already? I had to beat them off with a stick on the walk from Union to here.” He flashes a grin and I realize that Matty Iverson is gorgeous. His blue eyes a shocking contrast to his jet black locks, and he has a wide, infectious smile. It doesn’t hurt that he’s as ripped underneath his V-neck sweater. When Knox is around, all I can do is look at him.

“The defense played great last week,” I tell Matty. The team won twenty-four to fourteen. The offense still struggles but the defense was stifling. They are still undefeated and with only five games left, their national championship hopes were running high which is why I need to do the right thing with Knox now even though the only more painful thing would be to take

“Jack had a great game. We really need him on offense. I swear he’s the only one who can catch sometimes.” Matty bends over and throws the potato, cheese, milk, and bread mixture into the oven.

“Excited about tomorrow?”

“Yeah, the Cougars are a good team but we’re better.” He picks up a towel to wipe off his hands and looks at me with chagrin. “I worried about you and Masters at first. I thought he might get distracted and not as sharp on the field, but he’s elevated his play.”

I didn’t doubt that for a minute. Once Knox steps on the field, you can tell the only thing on his mind is eating the quarterback for lunch. There’s nothing but steely determination in his eyes. “He’s hungry for it.”

“No kidding. He watched every post-game interview, every minute of the championship celebration last year because it made him angry.” Matty winks at me. “We like an angry Masters. Besides he wants to win it this year.”

“I know. He’s declaring.” Ace knew it so I figured most of the team did as well.

“He’d be a fool not to.” His lips quirk up in a rueful smile. “I’m happy for him. It makes sense because if he stays another year, he risks injury. His draft stock is high this year so there’s no reason to wait, but shit, I’ll miss playing with him. So yeah, this year, we’ve got to win it. If we don’t win the title, our careers here will be a bust. All the potential and nothing to show for it.”

He shakes his head and the dread I managed to shelve the other night slides into my stomach.

“You’ll win.” I try to project as much confidence as I can.

“Knock on wood.” Matty bangs the cabinet above his head.

My phone buzzes. I pull it out and read the message from Knox. “They’re on their way.”

“Great. Let’s get these steaks seared.” He throws a stick of butter into the pan followed by the steaks. The smell of deliciously cooked meat fills the kitchen and I try not to gag as my guilt churns in my stomach. I busy myself with cleaning up the kitchen and avoiding Matty’s gaze. I don’t need him seeing how upset I am and then grilling me on what’s wrong until Knox shows up with his brother.

“We need biscuits,” Matty declares. He grabs my arm and pulls me over to the stove. “Keep spooning the butter over the steaks. I’ll be right back.”

He disappears down the stairs. Alone, I can only think of Jack’s words and how stupidly I’ve jeopardized everyone’s future. Not just Jack. Not just Masters. But Matty and Hammer and every other guy on this team who has sacrificed so much to have their perfect season.

I shouldn’t have come here. I should have called Knox and said it was over. Lingering over the corpse of our relationship is bad for everyone. I press my hand against my abdomen, but the knot won’t go away.

By the time Matty returns from wherever he disappeared to, the lump in my stomach has grown to the size of an elephant.

He’s got something clutched in his big fist.

“You’re making biscuits from scratch?”

He slaps a roll of refrigerated biscuit dough onto my palm. “Ta da!”

“Thank God.” I smile weakly.

“Why’s that?”

“Well, finding out you made biscuits from scratch would have totally demoralized me, so I’m glad to find out that you are merely mortal when it comes to this.”

“No one makes them better than the little puffy dough man.”

“Hey, there you are.” I turn to find Knox and his brother standing at the door. Both of them are staring at me.

I know what this is. This is “The Test.” Knox wants me to show him I can tell them apart, like I do from the pictures. It’s the one chance I have. The one action I have never wanted to take. Already the hollowness of losing Knox sets in, but I love him too much to kill his dreams with my selfishness.

I glide to both of them and then place my hands on the first brother’s shoulders. His arms close around me and when I lift my face for a kiss, he dips down to press his foreign lips against mine. Over his shoulder, I can see Knox’s eyes—the confusion, disappointment, the hurt.