Sadie's Surrender (20 page)

“Maybe I can help,” Sadie said before rushing to Pearl’s bedroom.

After she opened the door, her heart constricted. Pearl didn’t resemble her usual self, either. Her face glowed with a thick layer of perspiration, and her skin had a grayish pallor. Her belly appeared too enormous for her small frame to bear. The calico curtains behind her head were half-drawn, as if poised between life and death.

Rose and Mama were already there, along with Cali who worked at the foot of the simple bed. Wearing a kerchief on her head and a man’s work shirt, she had one hand on Pearl’s belly and the other between her legs. While Pearl breathed hard and went still again, Rose bathed her forehead with a damp towel.

“I didn’t know Cali was a midwife.” Sadie squeezed Mama’s arm. “How did you get here?”

“Leroy brought me.”

“What’s wrong? Why does everyone look so worried?”

“The baby ain’t in the right position.” She dropped her graying head. “Pray for her.”

Oh, no. A breech birth.

Even though Mama hadn’t been very welcoming when Pearl had first come to live with them, love filled her damp eyes. Sadie’s eyes watered, too. To face losing her cousin or the baby after her fight with Henry nearly knocked the legs out from under her.

Please, let her be all right.
Guilt from her past jealousy flooded her. Pearl was the pretty one. The one who’d gotten a Rockfield to marry her and give her a fairy-tale life. None of that mattered now—only that she and her baby live.

“She’s so small, I’ve hardly got room to do a thing.” Cali grunted as her arm muscles flexed below her rolled-up sleeves. Pearl’s blood tinged her golden-brown skin.

No one else spoke, or even breathed.

“I’ve turned the baby,” she exclaimed. “Now push, honey. Push!”

“Pearl, wake up.” Rose dropped the towel and shook Pearl’s shoulders. “You have to push.”

“Get me another towel,” Cali demanded.

Sadie’s head grew faint as more blood flowed onto the sheets. Her cousin couldn’t die before her eyes. This entire day was a bad dream. She pulled a clean towel off the stack and handed it to Cali. Because the other woman was too busy to grab it immediately, she pressed the towel against Pearl herself.

A fist pounded on the door. “What’s going on in there?”

The raggedness in Caleb’s voice ripped at Sadie’s soul.

“Stay out of here, Mr. Rockfield,” Cali called out. “You’d only hinder me.”

Henry appeared behind him, pulling on his arm. “Listen to her, Caleb.”

His face was as white as his brother’s, and his shoulders heaved when he stared at Pearl lying in the bed. Sadie recognized the horrified expression on his face from the night he’d seen Natalie’s ghost in his bed instead of her.

“There’s nothing we can do.”

The bleakness in his voice told Sadie more about Natalie than his explanations ever had.

“If she’s dying, I have to be with her, damn it,” Caleb yelled. “Let me say good-bye.”

Pearl’s eyelids fluttered at his voice.

“I think he should come in,” Sadie said. “He’ll give her the strength to fight for her life.”

His tall frame shook with sobs as he staggered to her bedside and squeezed her hand.

“Pearl, honey, I love you so much. Please stay with us.”

Henry stood in the doorway, gripping the frame with white knuckles, before slipping out of the room.

“Push! Push!” Cali demanded.

“Love you…too,” Pearl whispered to her husband.

“Push,” he repeated. “Try. For me.”

She sucked in a lungful of air and squeezed her eyes closed. A spasm coursed through her, but Sadie doubted it was strong enough.

“That was wonderful,” he whispered, breathing as hard as Pearl. “One more.”

But that one was as weak as the first.

“Mr. Rockfield, put your hands on her belly.” Cali placed them for him. “Push when I tell you.”

With Cali’s hands in the birth canal, Caleb pushing, and Sadie dabbing the blood, the baby finally came.

“Hallelujah!” Mama cried out when the child’s cry filled the room.

“It’s a girl!” Rose caught the baby in a towel and followed Cali’s instructions for cutting the cord and cleaning her. Then she placed her in the waiting bassinet.

Caleb gripped Pearl’s wrist and kissed her cheek. “We did it!”

“Pearl is still bleeding,” Sadie told Cali. “Is she—?”

“She can’t die,” Caleb said, his voice a ragged whisper. “She can’t.”

“It’s slowing down,” Cali replied. “Rose, bring a cup of that herbal tea I told you to brew.”

Rose slipped out the door while Cali tended to the bleeding. Light-headed herself, Sadie leaned against the bare-wood wall after giving Cali another clean towel. She picked at the small, red stains on her white blouse, wishing she had something else to change into.

Her hand drifted to her belly. Was she lucky she’d never risked her life through childbirth? Or deprived because she’d never experienced the joy of having a child? And why were her monthlies late?

After what seemed an eternity, Cali finally stood and wiped her brow. “The bleeding has stopped.”

“Thank God,” Mama exclaimed.

While Sadie cleaned up the birth area, Cali took the cup of pungent-smelling tea from Rose and carried it to Pearl. “Drink this. It will help stop the bleeding and reduce the swelling.”

Caleb supported Pearl’s back while she sat up and drank.

Meanwhile, Cali reached into the bassinet. “I think your mama is ready to meet you now.”

“May I?” Sadie found herself asking.

When she took the newborn into her arms, her worries melted away. She was so tiny and perfect. She even had hair already. The door opened, and the men walked inside. Henry was first. His gaze swept over Pearl, Sadie, the child, and back to Sadie again. Relief, wonder, and a glimmer of envy flashed in his blue eyes—probably because Caleb had outdone him again.

Sadie placed the infant in Pearl’s arms.

“Gosh, you’re tiny.” Her voice, barely a whisper, was full of love.

Leroy stepped behind Rose and slipped his arm around her waist. “I want one of those someday.”

“Me, too,” she replied. “What are you going to name her, Pearl?”

“Opal,” Pearl replied.

With rapture written all over his face, Caleb caressed the small bundle at his wife’s breast. “I’ve never been so scared and happy in one day.”

Sadie glanced toward the doorway to check Henry’s reaction, but he was gone. She needed to get out of the room herself. The scents of childbirth and fear still lingered in her nose, making her nauseous.

The living room wasn’t much better. Even the clump of hyacinths in a jar of water didn’t cheer the rustic space. The sweet perfume was a sickening contrast to the earthy smells from the bedroom. A strange mixture of life and death lingered in the house. Outside, deep breaths of spring air cleansed her. A bee buzzed past, and small leaves adorned the trees. New life sprouted everywhere. So why did she feel so dead inside?

No, not completely dead. Something dark churned inside her. Envy. For Pearl. Still. Even though her cousin’s birthing bed had almost become her deathbed. Pearl had everything Sadie wanted—a man who loved her enough to do anything for her and now a child. Envy and guilt flowed together, as dark as the blood she’d blotted today.

In the parking area, sand mixed with packed oyster shells crunched under her feet. Henry’s car was still there, which meant he was still around somewhere. She hoped Leroy would drive her and Mama home. Sadie walked to the pier, needing to be alone for a while.

The tan wood wasn’t yet the weathered gray of the pier behind Rockfield’s in Oyster Harbor. He sat on one end of it, staring at the water with his feet dangling over the edge. She should have known he’d come here for comfort.

His eyes were wary when he looked up at her. “Are you ready to go home?”

“I’m sure Leroy can take me. I needed to get away from the house.”

“I understand.” He patted the spot beside him. “Will you join me?”

She froze, torn between wanting to jump into his arms and run away.

He pointed to the water. “I’ve been watching a fish. Maybe you’ll see him, too.”

She sat with her legs curled under her and looked where he pointed. At least focusing on sea life would give her an excuse not to talk to him. But when he looped his arm around her, a small sob jumped from her throat.

“I can’t believe we almost lost Pearl.”

He studied the round bruises on his palms, which had probably come from digging his fingertips into them again. “Neither can I.”

“It reminded you of Natalie, didn’t it?”

“Seeing Pearl brought it back like it happened yesterday.” He shuddered. “I’m glad it wasn’t you.”

“Me, too.”

What she didn’t tell him was that if she were to have a child, she’d want it to be his.

“Is there any hope for us, Sadie?” he asked, looking straight ahead.

She squared her shoulders. “Not unless you leave the Klan.”

“If you’re asking me to choose between my family and you, then I have to pick family. I’m sorry.”

The finality and firmness of his words clenched her heart.

“But—”

“But, nothing.” He flung his hand toward the water. “We both watched Pearl fight for her life. She needs time to recover. The child needs to grow.”

“Are you saying you might leave the club in the future, then?”

“I can’t predict that far ahead, but I’m sure as hell not going to rock the boat now.”

“You don’t run Rockfield’s and neither do I. The Klan does.” She shaded her eyes against the sun. “Aren’t you tired of bowing to their threats?”

“Of course I am.” He glared at the water rippling below his feet. “You have no idea how weary I am of the entire mess.”

“Then fight it. If you let them bully you, they’ll keep doing it,” she insisted. “If you stand your ground, they’ll probably respect you and leave you alone.”

He shook his head. “It’s too dangerous.”

“Caleb did.”

“Caleb didn’t fight it.” He slapped the pier with his fist. “He ran away. Here.”

“Then here’s your chance to be better than he is.” She squeezed his shoulder. “Stay and fight, the way Pearl just fought for her life.”

Hope passed over his face like a cloud, but then his expression fell. “I can’t.”

“Does family mean so much to you because of the one you lost?”

He shrugged. “I hadn’t thought of that.”

“Isn’t making the world a safer place to live in the best way to protect your family?”

Something jumped in the water—probably the fish—but they ignored it.

“You’re too idealistic, Sadie. Ideas that look good in books often don’t work in reality.”

Even though he was probably right, she didn’t admit it. Why couldn’t this stupid world be a business book full of fair rules instead of a slop bucket of unfairness and hatred?

“Do you still love me?” she asked.

She had no idea why she’d blurted out those words or what he’d reply. He’d been pretty harsh with her at the plant.

“Oh, Sadie,” he said, stroking her cheek. “I never stopped.”

When Caleb had filled that small bedroom with his love for Pearl, she recognized it in herself. If anything happened to Henry, she’d fall to pieces, too.

Her head dropped to his shoulder. “I haven’t stopped, either.”

She still loved him because she realized he wasn’t weak after all. He took duty seriously and cared for everyone, especially his family. The struggle of being torn in two was written on his face. He was a good man. A strong man.

He took her hand. “Will you accept me, even if I stay in the Klan? Even if I can’t give you what Caleb has given Pearl?”

She closed her eyes, visualizing the lasting marriage and family she’d always wanted but could never have with him.

“On two conditions,” she said, opening her eyes and tugging his forelock. “One. I’m not washing your white sheets. Two. If you burn a cross in my yard, I will brand two on your backside with Mama’s iron.”

Laughter rumbled through his chest as he pulled her close and kissed her.

“Oh, Sadie.” He brushed a fingertip around the shell of her ear. “You’re such an incredible woman. We’ll get through this.”

She kissed him hard, surrendering everything she had. Was she crazy? Could love really conquer every struggle facing them? She wouldn’t dare to hope if she hadn’t seen Pearl clutching her newborn child after brushing death aside.

* * *

Sadie spent Saturday at Pearl’s cabin, helping to care for her and baby Opal.

Rose, their main caretaker, yawned. “Motherhood sure is a lot of work.”

Caleb popped his head in the nursery door. “Everything all right?”

“Yes.” Pearl waved to shoo him out. “We were fine this morning, an hour ago, and now. Would you please go back to work?”

He clasped her shoulders and kissed her. “I can’t help being overprotective.”

It must run in the family, Sadie thought. She and Henry had spent a few nights together last week, mending their disagreement. Their slow, sweet lovemaking in his cottage made any argument worth it.

When they were alone together, in their own world, she could almost forget the Klan existed. If things stayed peaceful, she was sure he’d eventually drop out of it.

After Caleb left, Sadie changed another diaper and held the beautiful bundle of tawny girl in her arms. She pursed her lips to suppress the sudden urge to cry.

Mama squinted at her. “What’s wrong? Don’t tell me she mussed up that fresh diaper already.”

“No,” Sadie said, placing the infant in her bassinet. “She’s just so precious, she steals my breath.”

No one knew the reason her stomach had turned into a monster. Or why she’d lost her breakfast this morning before she’d even set foot in the rowboat. She couldn’t even bear to admit it to herself.

She was nauseous most of the time now. And her monthlies were late. During the boat trip to Crisfield, she’d been more fertile than the plants in Rose’s herb garden. If her intuition was correct, she carried a child of her own.

Henry’s.

So much for peace.

Chapter Sixteen

On Monday morning, Sadie set a bowl of oatmeal in front of Mama and sat across from her at the kitchen table. The other woman stared at Sadie’s cup of coffee.