Safe at Last (Slow Burn #3) (20 page)

Eliza continued to look puzzled. “So did she? You’re right in that if she truly has that ability it would be a simple solution. Then she wouldn’t be on the other side of this door scared out of her mind and upset over the idea of being in the same room with you. Obviously she didn’t—or couldn’t—otherwise she’d know, right? Why didn’t she, Zack? Wouldn’t she
want
to know the truth?”

Zack dragged a hand through his hair. “She told me she couldn’t. She said even if she could she wouldn’t. Then she said that I took that from her as well, and that it was the only thing she could ever thank me for. What the hell did she mean by she ‘can’t’? She made mention of never wanting to read anyone’s mind again. Said something about people being evil.”

Eliza’s eyes and expression were troubled. “Whatever it is, it doesn’t sound good. I think you should start there. Find out how or
why
she lost this ability. And you’re sure she was the real deal? I mean, was it something she claimed to be able to do or do you know for a fact she could?”

“Oh she was the real deal,” Zack said softly. “She hid it from everyone but me. She was terrified of what would happen if people knew. That she’d be treated like a freak and that she’d be a social pariah. You have to understand. Gracie lacked self-confidence. She was intensely shy and her self-esteem wasn’t the greatest. Her ability to read minds is what made her believe in my feelings.”

He broke off with a harsh laugh.

“Amazing, huh? She was able to read me like a book. She knew, and was confident in the fact, that I loved her. That what I felt for her was genuine. Her ability to read minds is what convinced her that I wasn’t fucking around with her or just trying to get into her pants. God, we waited. I never made love to her. She was too young and I thought we had all the time in the world. She would have given herself to me. She trusted me and believed absolutely that I loved her. But I wanted to wait. I didn’t want it to ever be in question that I, at twenty years old, took advantage of a sixteen-year-old girl. So it was my decision to wait. I wanted our wedding night to be special. It was a big deal to me that I would be her first—and only. That I would be the only man who ever made love to her.”

He broke off and covered his face with his hands.

“God,” he said, his words muffled by his hands. “Her first time was horrific, violent, painful. Nothing like what I had planned. I wanted it to be tender, exquisite, loving. To be the ultimate expression of my love for her. Instead her virginity was brutally torn from her by fucking animals.”

Eliza’s arms went around him, circling his waist as she leaned in and pressed her cheek to his chest. She simply held him as his body heaved with emotion. He wanted to cry like a damn baby. He wanted to weep for all that he’d lost, all that
Gracie
had endured—and lost. And for what they could never get back.

“So she was able to read minds—your mind—and now she can’t?”

Eliza’s tone was skeptical. Zack found it hard to believe, himself. Or was she simply refusing to open herself up to more potential hurt? Maybe she was
afraid
to confirm her accusations. Maybe she couldn’t handle having her worst suspicions proved true.

No, that couldn’t be. Gracie had always been able to read every part of him. His deepest, dearest feelings. She knew the heart of him—had always known it. And she’d known he was utterly sincere in his love for her. She’d laughingly told him that being able to see his love for her was the best possible gift. That she never had to doubt because all she had to do was open her mind to his and his love for her flooded her heart, mind and soul.

And yet, despite being witness to his innermost thoughts, seeing the depth—and sincerity—of his feelings, knowing he loved her with all his heart, she honestly believed that he had taken part in something so horrific? That he was capable of doing such a thing to
any
woman, much less a girl he adored . . . How could she think such a thing for even a moment?

He was growing angrier by the minute. He’d been shocked. Devastated. Completely unhinged. Destroyed when he’d discovered the shocking truth. But now, after fully digesting it all, after the initial numbness had worn off, he was angry. No, not angry.
Pissed
.

He’d given her
everything
. His heart, his soul. She
knew
how much he loved her. So how the fuck could she, even for a goddamn minute, believe, honestly
believe
that he would have three of his
friends
horrifically violate her?

What kind of sick fuck did she think he was? And how . . . how could she possibly claim to have loved
him
if she was so willing to believe—to accept—that he had done this terrible thing?

He felt as betrayed as she believed herself to be. It didn’t make any goddamn sense.

“I’m pissed, Lizzie. God help me. I know it’s probably all kinds of fucked-up, but I am so goddamn pissed that I want to put my fist through a wall. How could she believe it? How could she have so little faith in me that she believes I did this to her?”

“I understand,” Eliza murmured. “I wish to hell there was something, anything I could do to help. This is so twisted and fucked-up. I mean I’ve never come across something like this, and believe me when I say, I thought I’d pretty much seen it all.”

Zack squeezed her tighter in his embrace. “Thanks for that. I feel so guilty for being angry, but goddamn it! It all goes back to how she could possibly think that I would do this. She knew me better than anyone!”

Eliza pulled, lifting serious, somber eyes to his. “There’s something missing here, Zack. Something we aren’t aware of yet. Something huge. Until you know what that missing piece of the puzzle is, nothing is going to make sense. Hopefully she’ll open up to you. So the two of you can talk and make peace with the past. Neither of you will ever be able to put this behind you until everything is revealed.”

“I just wish I knew what that was,” Zack muttered. “She’s not exactly giving me much. I only found out about what happened because of Sterling. I don’t think Gracie would have
ever
told me. And now I don’t know what to do. Do I pretend I don’t know what happened? Do I play dumb and wait for when or
if
Gracie opts to confide in me? Or do I confront her with what I know and demand to know why she’s so convinced that I had a part in it?”

“That’s a hard one,” Eliza admitted. “I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe you should play it cool, for a little while at least. Get her to trust—and confide—in you. Then go from there. But if she continues to shut you out and won’t acknowledge or talk to you then I think you have to address the situation with the information you got from Sterling. Because the problem is, even though she eventually confided in him, she didn’t say a whole lot. He didn’t have much to offer other than she was raped by your friends at your instigation. She didn’t tell him how or why she ‘knows’ you were involved. It sounds to me like she told him very little about the whole thing.”

Zack grimaced. “If I push her, that makes me a huge dick. If I lay off, I’ll never find out the truth. So either way I lose.”

“Maybe not,” Eliza murmured. “It’s not going to be easy, hon. But if you prove to her that you can be trusted, if you’re there for her every single day, then eventually she’ll relax and let down some of her guard. If she isn’t willing to confide in you relatively quickly then I do think you have to come clean with her and tell her what you know. Maybe that will be the impetus for her to tell the entire story. Not the abbreviated version she gave Wade. At some point she has to let it all out. It’s been festering inside her for twelve years. And in that time, if she hasn’t ever confided in anyone or dealt with her demons on her own, then sooner or later she’s going to break. It won’t be pretty. And she’s going to need you more than ever.”

“If I have my way, she won’t ever be alone again,” Zack said quietly.

The door opened, and the two detectives stepped into the hallway, glancing down as if looking for Zack. Zack hurried toward them, his expression seeking.

“Did you get any leads whatsoever?” Zack asked.

Detective Briggs scowled. “No. Unfortunately we don’t have much at all. I think you’ll be of much more help than Miss Hill. It sounds like she was just an innocent woman who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. It was a crime of opportunity.”

Zack tried to keep the murderous rage from his features. But it was hard.

“It’s an opportunity that they won’t ever have again,” he said tightly.

“Can we walk down to the cafeteria and get a cup of coffee?” Ramirez asked. “My partner and I have a lot of questions for you and Ms. Cummings.” He nodded his acknowledgment of Eliza and the fact he remembered her name.

“Yeah, we fucked up, guys,” Eliza huffed out as though it pained her to admit DSS’s shortcomings. “After last time, these assholes just fell off the radar and Beau and Ari were only too glad to put it all behind them. With the complete annihilation of their compound and Ari taking out most of their men, we wrongfully assumed they were no longer an issue. They’re obviously out there waiting and watching, wanting payback.”

Briggs nodded. “Let’s find a more comfortable place to talk. I’ll need about an hour of your time.”

Zack hesitated. He glanced back toward the room, but Sterling hadn’t come out yet.

“How was Gracie when you finished?” he asked the two detectives in a quiet voice.

“Upset,” Ramirez said truthfully. “Scared. Confused. She summoned the nurse when we were finished. She was in quite a lot of pain.”

“Give me just a minute,” Zack murmured. “I just want to check in on her before we go down to the cafeteria. I have to make sure Sterling can stay with her so she isn’t alone until Eliza and I return.”

The detectives nodded and Zack stepped away. He eased the door open, peering in at the bed where Gracie lay, Sterling still standing at her bedside.

Sterling’s gaze lifted and turned toward the door when he heard it open. Zack sent him an inquiring look, asking without words how Gracie was. Sterling grimaced and shook his head at Zack, clearly indicating he shouldn’t come in.

I’ll stay.

Sterling mouthed the words to Zack. Zack stood there a long moment, warring with himself over what he should do. Finally he nodded and retreated from the room, closing the door behind him.

Tomorrow Gracie would be going home. They would be in forced proximity soon enough. Until the time he could bring her to his home, where for all practical purposes she would be a captive audience, he would force himself to be patient. This was the most important thing he’d ever do in his life and he couldn’t afford to fuck it up and lose her forever.

EIGHTEEN

ANNA-GRACE
emitted a soft groan as she tried to sit up in the bed. It took forever to move her legs to the edge so she could slide off and plant her feet on the floor.

Once she managed that feat, she stood for several long seconds, grasping the bed rail tightly as she swayed. When the spinning around her abated somewhat, she carefully let go of the rail and tested her balance.

Other than the protests from her bruised, stiff muscles and the fractured ribs, she was fairly steady on her feet.

She took a step, wincing at the effort it took. Then another. God, at this pace it would take her forever to walk out of here. How on earth would she get past people charged with ensuring she stayed? But they couldn’t force her compliance, could they? Surely it wasn’t legal.

All she knew was that if she stayed, Zack would kidnap her from the hospital and bring her home with him. He’d
told
her that’s what was going to happen. And why? So he could protect her from the animals who’d attacked her? Who the hell was going to protect her from
him
?

The idea of being alone with him scared her. It
should
scare her. And yet, there was something about him. Something she couldn’t quite put her finger on. Maybe it was the genuine confusion on his face when she spoke of the past.

She shook her head, refusing to even go there, and promptly regretted the action. The room swayed and the floor seemed to reach up and swallow her. She promptly closed her eyes and sucked in deep breaths through her nose.

“Damn it, Gracie. What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

Her eyelids fluttered open, and she saw Zack standing right in front of her, concern burning brightly in his eyes. She stiffened when he reached out to steady her, but his grasp was infinitely gentle.

With complete tenderness, he started to guide her back to the bed, but she dug in her heels and put a hand up to stop him.

He frowned, but it was more in worry than displeasure. His gaze swept over her, taking in every detail, every bruise and hurt.

“I need to go to the bathroom,” she said in a low, embarrassed voice.

It was true. Yes, she had planned to leave, but not before making a much-needed trip to the bathroom. And in hindsight, she’d been stupid to think she could manage the task of escaping on her own. Better to wait and ask Wade to help. God, where was he? Why wasn’t he here?

Zack’s features softened and then he slid his arm around her waist and anchored her to his body.

“Here, hold on to me,” he said. “I’ll help you. Why didn’t you call the nurse?”

She flushed as a surge of guilt swept over her. Then she was disgusted with herself. Why should she feel guilt? So what if she’d planned to leave without him ever knowing? Yes, she’d planned to disappear, and if possible
never
see Zack again. It hurt too much to look at him and think of all that could never be. Of what used to be and what she lost.

A different kind of hurt assaulted her. More aching and piercing than the worst bruises she suffered. For so long she’d shut herself off from pain, betrayal, of feeling anything at all. Her life had been hollow. Devoid of any emotion. Because allowing herself to feel was opening herself up to a lifetime of pain and regret.