Safe with You (38 page)

“Okay, Cass.”

Ten minutes later an officer instructs us to follow him. We walk through the corridor that opens up into a room. The officer directs us to a chair in front a glass window. There is a phone on one side of the wall so I assume I talk to Zack through it. J pulls the chair out for me to sit then stands behind me, his hands resting on my shoulders.

A minute later, Zack appears, wearing an orange jumpsuit, and sits down across from me. He looks about the same except he doesn’t look as lost or as psychotic.

He stares at me for a moment before casting his gaze up to J.

I pick up the receiver of the phone and place it against my ear. Zack does the same, but slower, like he is unsure if he wants to talk to me or not.

“Cassie, you came,” he says, sounding both surprised and pained.

“I did. I came to apologize for what my parents did to you.”

He laughs, except there is no trace of humor in it. “Why are you apologizing for their actions? Your life was ruined just like mine. The rug was ripped out from both of us. You know, I had some time to think here. I thought about why I couldn’t let you go.” He pauses and casts his eyes downward like he is ashamed to tell me.

“Why couldn’t you let me go, Zack?” I press him because I really want to know the answer myself.

His eyes snap back up to me. “I loved you, Cassie, I loved you a lot and when you guys moved I felt like I was dead. I couldn’t feel my heart beat, Cassie. My whole world went black. I had planned on being with you forever. Even though I kept my addiction a secret from you, knowing there was a possibility that you would have left me once you found out, I still saw you in my future. Then, when I come to get you, only to see you had moved on, something snapped inside me. I wondered how you could just move on like that and not miss me.”

“I did miss you, Zack, for the longest time. I told you this, remember? Eventually, I started moving on.”

Remorse glazes his eyes. “I remember, Cassie, I was just too far gone to comprehend it. I’m really sorry for the way I treated you and…for kidnapping you…and for shooting your parents.”

“Me too. I wish it didn’t have to end this way, but my parents haven’t been mom and dad to me in over two years. I know they still loved me and it hurts that they are gone, but I wish things would have been different.”

“I’m going to get clean, Cassie, so when I get out of here, I can turn my life around.”

“That’s great, Zack. I hope you can stick with it.”

This is exactly what I had been hoping for.

“You look really happy with him, Cassie. I wish it could still be me,” he murmurs into the phone.

I look up at J and smile at him. He returns my smile with one of his own, making my stomach flutter with butterflies.

I look back at Zack. “I am truly happy. It’s something I didn’t think I’d feel again after we moved from our home in Indy.”

“I can’t believe I’m saying this, especially after what all I put you through, but I’m glad. I just hope I can find that same happiness.”

I smile at him for the first time since the last time I saw him in Indy. “You will, Zack, just stay clean and once you are able to leave this place, don’t let anything tempt you, got me? I want you to be happy with your life, Zack.” An idea hits me, but I need to talk to J about it first to make sure he is comfortable with it. “Hang on a second, Zack.”

He nods and I place the phone down and spin to the side so I can talk to J about my sudden idea.

“J, I had this idea, and I know it may sound crazy, but-”

J laughs softly. “Just spit out, Cassie.”

I grin at him. “I want to be able to know he is keeping his word about staying clean and the only way I know how is to have him write me. Are you okay with that?”

J pauses for a moment. “That was not what I expected you to ask.” Another pause. Indecision is clear on his features.

“J, the only reason I ask is because I want him to be able to be happy without me and I want to make sure he stays on track to get there.”

“Cassie, I love your big heart and how you always seem to want to help everyone else. I trust you whole-heartedly, I’m just not sure if I can trust him.”

I open my mouth to give him another reason why I want to do this, but J stops me.

“As long as he doesn’t cross a line, I’m okay with it.”

“Thank you, J.”

J leans down and kisses me profoundly. “You’re welcome, babe. But remember…”

“I know, I know.”

I spin back around in my seat to find Zack with his eyes cast down to the counter again, still holding the phone to his ear. I tap on the glass to get his attention.

Zack’s head snaps up and I place the phone to my ear. “Here’s the deal. You want to find happiness, and I want to make sure you get there so, I came up with the idea of you writing me periodically to update me on your progress.”

“I don’t know, Cassie.”

“Look, if you’re worried about J, I’ve already talked to him about it, and he is okay with it as long as you keep it strictly in the friend zone. If you cross the line of friendship I am not responsible for what J does to you.”

“Thank you, Cassie, but you don’t have to do this.”

Turning back to J, I ask, “Can you get me a piece of paper?”

J nods his head and walks away. He returns with one and a pen a couple minutes later. I write down J’s parents’ address on the piece of paper.

“I’m going to leave this with the guard to give to you in case you decide you want to write me.”

The guard walks over to us and informs us we only have a couple minutes left to visit.

“Okay, we are fixing to have to go. Remember, I am here to help you if you need it.”

“Thank you, Cassie.”

“Bye,” I whisper in the phone.

“See ya,” he replies then hangs up the phone.

I place the phone back on the hook. I don’t understand why I feel sorry for him right now.

True to my word, I give the guard the piece of paper with our current address on it so he has the option to write me.

As I leave the jail, I feel a sense of relief, like a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

I am leaving the jail feeling fully content with my life for the first time in three years. And it feels amazing.

Chapter Forty- Seven

Cassie

Bo is driving J and I up to Birmingham so I can speak with Mr. Mackey, who has my parent’s will.

J asked Bo to drive us in case he needed to console me. I don’t know what the man will say or read, but I’m grateful for J’s quick thinking. With the new revelation I discovered yesterday, I’m sure I’ll need him to hold me.

The guys tried to cheer me up during the hour drive north, and it sort of worked until Bo pulls in the parking lot of Mr. Mackey’s law firm.

The nerves take over planting butterflies in my stomach. Thank goodness J is here with me to hold my hand. I have a feeling I’m going to need him to lean on.

As I feared, Mr. Mackey’s reading of my parents’ will had me bawling my eyes out. They left me a small box, which I haven’t opened yet. My parents are gone and I won’t ever get a chance to repair our broken relationship. Maybe I should have tried harder to get them back on the right path. I gave up on them and now I regret it.

Not only did they leave me a box, but the other news left me stunned. My parents’ stated in their will that if anything were to happen to them, I was to be in my Aunt Beverly’s care until I turn eighteen. I have three weeks left until my eighteenth birthday and I don’t know how I’m going to survive being without J for that long.

My Aunt Beverly is a wonderful lady. I haven’t seen her since a month before we left. She lives in Indy as well so I will be ten hours from my boyfriend, my everything for three whole weeks. I will be leaving J and his family tomorrow. They will drive me to the airport, where I will meet up with a lady from the Department of Human Resources. She will be accompanying me to Indianapolis and taking me to my Aunt’s.

Bo is driving us back home while J is holding me in his arms, whispering soothing words in my ear. My hands wrap around the small box and I clutch it to my chest. I’m afraid to open it for fear of what’s in it will trigger another round of sobs.

“Cassie, baby, seeing you like this is gutting me. I wish there was something I could do to take this pain away for you,” J murmurs softly in my ear. “I will miss you like hell, Cassie, but what’s keeping me going is knowing I will get to see you again.”

Oh, J. I didn’t think about how this will affect him. I look up, my eyes finding his soft brown ones.

“Just you being here, holding me, loving me, is enough. I couldn’t do this without you,” I breathe, my hand moving up to cup his face.

He leans into my touch, closing his eyes as he inhales deeply before slowly releasing the breath.

“I will always be here, Cassie. That will never change.”

I half smile. “Good, because the three days I was apart from you was pure torture. I missed you teasing me, and I will surely miss it while I am away from you. At least this time, I will have a way of communicating to you.”

J kisses my hair, his lips lingering before he replies. “Damn straight. Is that all you missed about me?”

“No, I missed your smile, your kisses, and your hugs. Pretty much everything about you I missed.”

“I bet you missed everything about me too. Didn’t ya, darlin’?” Bo boasts from the front seat.

I shake my head. “Nope, not at all.”

“You wound me, woman,” he mocks, holding his chest like I just stomped on his heart.

“Can we go to our tree when we get to your house?” I ask J, snuggling closer to him.

He drops a kiss to my temple. “Sure, Cass.”

Later that evening, J backs the four-wheeler out of the garage and waits for me to climb on before we set off toward the woods.

When we climb off the four-wheeler, I grab the blanket I snatched on the way out of the house and spread it out in front of our tree so we can sit and gaze at our creation we carved.

I walk over to our tree, reaching out with my hand, tracing the pattern of our initials. I hear J step up behind me, his hands resting on my hips.

“The morning after you went missing and we didn’t have any leads, I came out here and sat for a long time. I asked God to bring you back to me, safe. I stayed out here so long Bo ended up coming to look for me and drag me home.”

“J,” I whisper hoarsely, my throat clogging up. My heart is crumbling for how scared he must have felt.

“Cassie, did he…did he touch you?”

“No, not in the way you think. Let’s sit and I’ll tell you everything.”

J drops his hands from my waist and sits down on the blanket first. When he is comfortable, I take a seat in between his legs and lean back against his chest.

Over the next thirty minutes, I tell J every detail from the moment I woke up in a different place with a someone I thought I knew. As I tell J the story, I wonder what is running through his mind, what he is thinking.

His jaw hardens and his body tenses up as soon as I tell him the lie Zack fed me. Thank God, my brain was functioning properly that night-morning-whenever it was or I’d have believed Zack’s crap.

J’s expression looks murderous by the time I’m through telling him.

“J,” I call his name when he hasn’t breathed a word in the last five minutes. He has been dead silent, staring off into space, not moving, and it is scaring me.

“J, look at me,” I plead, lightly shaking him.

My shoulders sag in relief when he finally turns his head to look at me. Sorrow fills his eyes, overpowering the rage I had felt building inside him.

“Talk to me.” I need to know what is going on inside his head.

He shakes his head like is erasing his thoughts. “Sorry, Cass, it’s just taking me a minute to process all of this.” He pauses, gathering his thoughts. “Someone kidnapped my girl with the intention of holding her against her will. What if we didn’t get to New York in time? I think he knew by the third call what was happening.”

I spin around and get on my knees so I can look him in his eyes. “But you did, J, and I’m safe. That’s all that matters.”

He crushes me to him, burying his face in my shoulder.

“Thank goodness ‘cause I can’t live without you, Cassie Ann Matlock. I knew I shouldn’t have dropped you off that night. I regret not running away with you.”

I just keep my arms around him, letting my fingers toy with his hair. What can I say? There was no other option, J had to take me home that night. If J killed my parents out of revenge then he would do the same to J’s family if we had run off together.

“I wish you didn’t have to go tomorrow, Cassie.”

“Me too, babe. I’m going to miss you.”

This really came as a shock to me because Dad always said I’d be in a foster home until I was eighteen if something had happened to them. I guess he was just trying to scare me.