Safety Net (37 page)

“No,” said Dale, “you can’t. That
would kill him. I know.” He sighed. “Oh, Erick.”

They fell silent, and Lowell hated
this. Hated imagining the future without Erick. It was coming soon enough. He
didn’t want to think about it. So he flipped his mind back to worrying about
moving to Portland, worrying about what kind of team he was coming into, how he
could prove himself to them.

-----

Spring quarter rolled to a stop,
and even though Lowell had been so distracted for most of it that his course
work had suffered, he passed his final class and cleared all the hurdles for
graduating. Crocker had the highest graduation rate within PWAC for its
football team -- one of the highest rates in the country -- and was rightly
proud of it. Lowell had no intention of not living up to Crocker’s
expectations. Even though it meant, as empty and wondrous as it sounded, that
his Crocker career was officially and completely over.

In the week between the end of
classes and graduation, before his mom and Kaylee arrived, Lowell packed up or
sold off his stuff, said goodbye to everyone multiple times, filling his
contacts with phone numbers and e-mail addresses. Erick came over a few times
while Dale was out; in Lowell’s nearly empty room, they spent hours in bed
together. Talking, fucking, making love, holding each other.

“This is what scares me,” Lowell
said one afternoon after they’d spent the morning together. “Right now, I feel
like it’s all possible. We can do anything. We’ll be apart but it doesn’t
matter because of how we feel.” He paused, and Erick combed his fingers through
Lowell’s hair. Lowell said, “But it’s when I’m alone, when I’m not with you,
that’s when it seems impossible. Hopeless.”

Erick touched his lips, stroked
them with his fingertips. “Nothing’s impossible. Nothing’s hopeless. Six years
ago, people said it was hopeless for Crocker’s football team to have a winning
season. Impossible for Crocker to win a BCS bowl game. Look what happened.”

“Because of you,” Lowell said
beneath Erick’s fingers.

“Because of us,” Erick said.

“But that’s my point. It won’t be ‘us’
anymore. Different teams, different leagues, different states.”

“It doesn’t matter.” Erick smiled
softly, gazing into his eyes. That pure, intense look Lowell knew from the
field, from off the field. “We’re gonna be doing what we love to do. Bro. We’re
gonna get
paid
for
playing football
.” The way he emphasized it,
full of awe, made Lowell laugh quietly.

Erick caressed Lowell’s chest, watching
his hand move over Lowell’s skin. “Being apart doesn’t matter. This is us. This
is always going to be us. You think being apart can take this away? I don’t.”

“I want to believe that. I feel it.
I do. But Erick,” Lowell said gently, “being apart from Candace, it didn’t work
out the same way.”

Erick gave him a steady look,
half-smiling. “No, I know it didn’t. But that was different. That’s the only
way to explain it. And even though it didn’t work out the same way, we’re still
friends. I still love Candace. I think she loves me. It gives me strength,
knowing that.” He cupped Lowell’s neck and kissed him slowly. “Imagine how
powerful I feel when I think about you.”

And Lowell understood what he
meant, felt that same power, that same confidence in the future. For as long as
Erick was there.

-----

After graduation Lowell reported to
Portland for two weeks of OTAs, then went to Indiana to kick his heels around
his mom’s place before he was due in Oregon for mandatory practice camp. It
reminded him a little of the summer after freshman year, but it was even
stranger to be in his childhood bedroom now. His mom had a college friend in
Portland who worked in real estate and was happy to line up places for Lowell
to see. In the meantime, the lady from the Player Relations Department had some
options for him to consider, including sharing with another rookie.

“Some of our new players prefer it,”
she’d told him. “It reminds them of college. Makes them more comfortable.” Lowell
didn’t share the preference but didn’t torpedo the idea out of hand. During
OTAs he’d shared a hotel room with another rookie, a kicker from Montana who had
been signed as an undrafted free agent, and it hadn’t completely sucked, though
it was like being on the longest away-game trip ever.

Kaylee had gone back to New York.
She had an internship all summer and was moving into an apartment with her
boyfriend, which freaked Lowell out while his mom sighed resignedly about it.
Lowell didn’t see how Kaylee could be old enough to be living with her boyfriend,
but his mom’s response to this was a pointed, “And
you
just graduated
from college.”

The second week of Lowell’s stay in
Indiana, Erick called.

“What’re you doing? Are you busy?”

Lowell was wandering around the
kitchen, on the prowl for a snack. “I’m doing nothing. What about you? Are you
in OTAs? You must be running around like crazy.”

Erick chuckled a little. “No. That’s
why I called. Minicamp’s finished and I’m not doing anything for another week.
I, um, was wondering if I could come out there. To visit.”

Lowell grinned. “Really? That would
be awesome. When can you get here?”

“Uh, well, I rented a car yesterday
and started driving. I’m in Pennsylvania right now. Close to Pittsburgh. I
think I can get there tomorrow.”

It took a moment for Lowell to
catch his breath. “Erick. This is sick. This is fucking insane.” He laughed. “I
can’t believe you’re driving out here.”

“I know,” Erick laughed. “I was
thinking I’d surprise you, but I don’t have your mother’s address. Plus I
thought I better call, make sure you’re not too busy. Can I stay there? Is
there room? Will your mother mind?”

Lowell couldn’t stop grinning. “Dude.
Of course you’re staying here. My mom will want you to. Are you really in
fucking Pennsylvania right now?”

“Yep. Shit. I can’t wait to get
there. Give me the address. Let me put it into the GPS.”

After working out the directions --
Erick’s GPS first gave him a stupid-ass route that took him through Dayton (“I
could visit Dale’s parents,” Erick said drily) -- Erick said again, “I can’t wait.
I should’ve rented the car sooner.”

Lowell leaned on the kitchen
counter, smiling. Tomorrow. He would see Erick tomorrow.

“Hey, you heard from Dale lately?” Erick
asked.

“Yeah, we’ve been texting. You?”

“I went to see him when I visited
my parents. That place he’s staying at...” Erick whistled softly. “I’ll tell
you about it tomorrow. Shit, Lowell. I’m gonna see you tomorrow!”

Lowell was so psyched after the
phone call he started getting the guest room ready, making the bed and putting
some towels out. Then he went out to stock up on snacks, water, cola, and
bought some steaks for grilling. He hesitated for half a second in the store
before adding lube and condoms; he used the self-checkout lane.

When his mom got home from work
Lowell was practically bouncing. “Erick’s coming here! He’s on the road now. He’s
gonna be here tomorrow.” He stopped, seeing his mom’s blindsided look. “Um. It’s
okay, isn’t it? He called a couple of hours ago. I said it’d be okay, since we
have the guest room and all...”

His mom nodded and went into the
kitchen to check the refrigerator. “Yes, it’s okay. It’ll be nice to see Erick
again. I didn’t get a chance to see him in Pasadena, we had to leave so early.
You went shopping already?”

“Yeah. I picked up some steaks for
the grill. And I got the guest room ready. Made the bed and stuff.”

“Good heavens.” She looked at him
and said with a smirk, “Erick might go into the garage. Could you clean that
out, too?”

“Nice try, Mom. Nice try.”

Erick didn’t get to the house until
nearly eight p.m. the next day. Instead of doing a fancy dinner, they ordered
pizzas. They sat around the dining table and Erick talked about the drive over,
and Lowell’s mom asked about Connecticut. It was after eleven when his mom said
goodnight and left them. Lowell showed Erick the guest room.

“You really tired?”

“Yeah,” Erick said. He looked into
Lowell’s eyes and touched his cheek and kissed him tenderly. “I’m so glad I did
this,” he said, smiling.

Lowell pressed his forehead against
Erick’s. “Me too.”

Lowell didn’t sleep much that
night, he was too keyed up. When he went downstairs in the morning, Erick was
sitting at the dining table with Lowell’s mom. They were sharing the newspaper
while she sipped coffee. Erick wore a Crocker tee shirt and running shorts and
had shaved. It was all Lowell could do to keep himself from giving him a
good-morning kiss.

They went out for a run when Lowell’s
mom left for work. After breakfast, Lowell had to call the Player Relations
lady about the schedule for some medical tests. When he got off the phone he
found Erick upstairs in his bedroom.

“All-Indiana tight end.” Erick
grinned at him, touching the tallest of the trophies.

Lowell leaned against the dresser. “I
always wondered why you knew that. Back in freshman year, first time we really
talked, you knew that about me.”

Erick pinched the little football
on another trophy and said, “It was because of Ryan Hutchinson, believe it or
not. I was trying to understand him, and someone told me you’d been pals with
him during a recruits’ visit. I went around for a couple of days looking for
Lowell Menacker.” Erick smiled at the memory. “One night at dinner Josh Benton
came over and said he’d heard I was looking for Menacker, and he pointed you
out to me. You, um. I guess you caught my eye. I looked you up on the roster
that night and was like, ‘
that’s
the guy who was a state-champ tight
end.’ I’d tried to read up on all our guys beforehand, but I didn’t make the
connection until then.”

Lowell raised an eyebrow. “Caught
your eye, huh?” He pushed off from the wall and came up to Erick, sliding his
arms around his waist. “You caught my eye, too. I remember a bunch of us
watching the QBs one day. You were the only one who looked like he knew what
the hell he was doing.”

Erick chuckled. “Looks can be
deceiving.” He clasped his hands behind Lowell’s back. “Back then I didn’t even
know what I didn’t know.”

“That’s probably why you looked so
confident,” Lowell said.

“I wasn’t, though. The entire time
I was comparing myself to Hutchinson, bracing myself for Hutchinson to be named
QB1.” He said wistfully, “That seems like forever ago.”

“It practically was.” Remembering
Crocker made Lowell ache a little, so he cocked his head at the trophies and
said, “I bet your parents’ house is wall-to-wall with these.”

Erick winced. “Mama set up their
den just for the trophies. It’s kinda tacky. But I think at least one of them
is Daddy’s.”

He fell silent and Lowell kissed
him slowly, hunger building. Erick tightened his arms around Lowell, kissing
him back as slowly and hungrily. When they parted, Erick took off his shirt. He
smiled softly as Lowell pulled his shirt off and tossed it on top of Erick’s.
Erick stripped and stood naked in front of him and said quietly, “Do you know
what I want?”

Lowell swallowed hard and slid out
of the rest of his clothes. “Yes.”

In Lowell’s bed, while the morning
drained away, Lowell fucked him slowly. Made love to him. They’d never managed
anything other than frantic before, and Lowell wanted him so badly he thought
it would be frantic again. But when he was in Erick, and Erick writhed and
rocked in pleasure, Lowell wanted it to go on forever. For as close to forever
as possible.

Erick held him and moved, matching
his slow rhythm, releasing his breath in soft, appreciative moans. Watched him,
and Lowell gazed back, devouring the sight of Erick’s strong, eager body and
dark, hard cock. Together they moved, not quite reaching forever before Erick
tilted his head back and his breath caught in a gasp. He bucked his hips once,
sharply, and Lowell, fighting to maintain the rhythm, wrapped Erick’s cock in
his hand, wanted to feel him coming. Pulled deeper, Lowell thrust a few
frenzied bursts and came.

Afterwards they sprawled lazily on
the bed. Lowell stretched out on his stomach. Erick caressed Lowell’s
shoulders, and Lowell drifted in and out of a light doze. Erick gathered Lowell’s
hair, stroking it, gently combing it with his fingers. He did this for a while,
and Lowell, waking, reached back.

“You’re braiding my hair?”

“I used to do this for Janine,” Erick
said. “I was in second grade, she was in fourth. She told me little brothers
had to make themselves useful. Your hair’s long enough.”

“I figured I’d let it grow out for
a while. Get it hacked off before I move to Oregon.”

Erick tugged on the braid he was
making. “You’re not cutting it all off, are you?” he asked with a slight pout. “Or
did they ask you to?”

“No, it’s up to me.” Lowell rolled
onto his side and pulled Erick close. “How short do you think it should be?”

Erick scissored his fingers just
above Lowell’s shoulders. “No shorter than this.”

“I’ll take your views into
consideration,” Lowell murmured, kissing his neck.

That afternoon they took Lowell’s
football to the sports field of Kaylee’s old middle school and tossed the ball around
for fun, running in the overgrown grass. The sun was shining when they got
there, but a storm front moved in and it started to rain. They kept playing
until they were soaked through, then went back to the house. In the guest room,
in the storm-darkened late afternoon, Lowell sucked Erick off and lay back
while Erick brought him off. Thunder rolled outside and the power flickered
while Lowell was showering. Clean, dry, and dressed, they hung out in the
living room until Lowell’s mom got home from work, and Erick told him about
visiting Dale’s pitiful granny suite rental.