Saint And Sinners (53 page)

“I’ll always be by your side, Saint. Nothing can make me leave,
ever
.”

He looked past her shoulder and took note of Jagger and Traci slow dancing, too. Their
bodies stood so close, they looked almost like one person. Jagger was dressed like
a hippie, a headband around his head, and Traci had on a green spandex suit. What
a sight. He loved the spectacle, relished it. The man still looked like a newlywed;
his love for the woman dripped all over the damn dance floor, greasing up the place…and
he knew he and Xenia looked like they’d had just exchanged vows, too.

Yeah…the love of a good woman had a way of making the hardest mothafucka melt like
candle wax once her lips met his. Xenia made him feel some kinda way. With her, he
was just gone…

*

“T
his is real
nice, man.” Saint vigorously shook his classic black umbrella outside of the brownstone
door, then handed it to Lawrence. Light music played, reminding him of some jazzy
1960’s elevator music.

“Thank you. Please, come inside.”

Saint stepped over the threshold and immediately caught the whiff of fried fish, collard
greens and yams. His stomach flipped in anticipation though he had not been invited
for dinner.

Damn. I didn’t know Donna could cook.

“Donna is putting the baby down for a nap and cooking dinner.”

Saint entered the peaceful dwelling. Off to the side he spotted a wall full of beautiful
black and white silver framed photographs of mountains, waterfalls and even some city
scenes. Cattycorner to it stood a latte fireplace with partially melted light cobalt
candles on the mantelpiece and to the left, an assortment of cube shaped sable brown
couches, along with over-stuffed pillows on the floor to sit upon. A white table displayed
an assortment of heavy bound historic Arizona photography books, more candles, a wine
bottle with a few sticks of incense jetting out of it and an unopened chilled bottle
of Snapple, just for Saint. He joined Lawrence on the floor, folding his legs and
placing his hands on his knees as if about to meditate.

“Would you like to stay for dinner?” the man invited, pointing to Saint’s shoes. Saint
quickly unfolded his legs and removed his brand new white and green Nike sneakers.
Pushing them off to the side, he wiggled his toes around in his cotton ankle-sock
footies.

“Sorry, man, I forgot. My brain is kinda muddled.”

“No problem.” Lawrence offered a kind smile.

“Well, as far as me staying for dinner, that’s up to Donna, right? I’m not exactly
her favorite person.”

Lawrence snickered. “Look, Saint, that’s not your fault.” He touched his chest. “Besides,
she’s warming up to you if you hadn’t noticed.”

“Well, that’s good to know and I’d not be telling the truth if I tried to pretend
I wasn’t interested in having dinner with you all. It smells really good.” He looked
towards the kitchen, the wafting aromas driving his hunger pangs. “Xenia is cooking
too, but it’s not soul food tonight. I had a craving for soul food actually, but she’d
already defrosted the stuff to make pizza.” As he spoke, he regretted complaining,
sounding ungrateful. As hungry as he was, he’d probably eat that pizza, too, when
he got home.

Just then, Donna entered the room wearing a pair of almond colored yoga pants and
a black crop top. Saint could see her once slender figure had rounded out, showing
a slight pouch—her rite of passage of bearing Lawrence’s child. Where some saw no
beauty in such a thing, Saint felt a woman’s body
after
giving birth was a glorious thing. The stretch marks and all brought home how she
did what he could never do: birth life, push it from her body into the world. He could
only place the seed inside of his Queen, but she had to do all the work after that.
To him, a woman’s uterus represented a key handed to her, straight from God, to do
His bidding.

“Saint, I
really
like it here. I can’t believe it, but I love living here in the city.” She cast her
glance to her fireplace, fixating for a moment on her wedding photos. “I liked L.A.,
too, but this…” The woman looked around her home as if seeing it for the first time.
“This right here is my spot. Now sure, it’s a lot smaller than I’m used to. Space
is definitely at a premium ’round these parts, but it doesn’t matter. I’m starting
to meet people and feel my way around. I thought it would be hard, and yes, I have
my challenges, but it is getting easier and easier. It’s like I belong here.”

He knew that feeling all too well, but he could not appreciate the words in their
current timeframe because he simply felt overwhelmed by the fact she was speaking
to him so kindly.

“Donna,” he said, putting his hand over his heart, “I am sooooo glad to hear that.”

“I haven’t spoken to Traci and Jagger in a while. How are they transitioning?” she
asked.

“I heard Traci has found a job and is happy, too. Xenia is very excited for her… Jagger
likes it, but I think he misses L.A. He will get to go back often, however. I want
him to help be my go-between at that location.”

“And what about the children?”

“Dakarai and Isis are acting like nothing has changed so it appears most of us are
adjusting well.”

“…But, you didn’t mention Hassani.” The woman looked genuinely concerned.

“Well.” Saint sighed. “You know…” He threw up his hands. “He’s nine. He is having
a bit of a harder time, but I’m hoping and praying he will see the benefits and not
focus as much on all that worries him.”

Donna nodded in understanding. “You know, he is a really smart boy, Saint. He’ll get
the hang of it. New York can be overwhelming for a child that isn’t used to this.
It’s fast paced, here. It was fast in L.A, too, but differently so. There is a…” She
tapped her finger to her bottom lip. “A different…”

“Vibe here.” Saint grinned.

“Exactly! A different vibe. It can be frustrating and intimidating, but I love the
people! They seem so much more genuine than L.A.”

“You know, I am told all the time how rude I and my people are, but I hear what you
just said a lot now, too. With us, you are more likely to get what you see, you know?
Anyway, again, I’m so happy things are going well. Have you found employment?”

“Not yet, but I haven’t been looking very hard.” She grinned. “Lawrence wants me to
take it easy.”

“Well, it’s none of my business, but that was part of the point. What you two decide
is obviously your concern, but I never want any of you to work outside of the home,
if you have small children, unless you just want to. That’s why I make sure the Rainbeau
Knights’ salaries are adequate so they can sustain their family and cover their needs,
as well as many of their wants. I don’t want anyone struggling or making decisions
that negatively impact their quality of life.”

“Well, you’ve been quite generous, Saint, and I appreciate it.”

Saint burst out laughing and fell back onto the pillow. He heard Donna chuckle.

“What?” she asked, a smile in her tone.

Saint straightened back up. “You’ve just
never
been this nice to me before. I must be dreaming.”

She rolled her eyes, but those orbs danced with mirth. “Anyway, you want something
to eat? It will be ready in about thirty minutes or so. I have to make the cornbread.”

“Do I want some? Does a kitten want a bowl of milk?! Hell yes!” He grinned.

Donna cracked a grin. “I will set the table for three.” She stood and disappeared
into the kitchen.

“So.” Lawrence reached for his own Snapple, Mango Madness, popped it open and took
a big swig of his already half consumed beverage. “What’s going on with you? Last
I heard, you and Krishna had a long talk…two to be exact.” He smirked.

“Don’t act like you don’t know what happened. You
know
what he told me.”

“Well…” He took another sip. “I do
now
.”

“And you’re not surprised?”

“Saint.” Lawrence sighed. “The only one surprised is
you
. Everyone else knew you were destined to lead, and not just the conferences. I mean,
that’s great, it’s important, and thank goodness you do them, but there is more to
you than that.”

Saint kept quiet for a while and popped the top off of his half lemonade, half tea
Snapple. He took a long, hard, swallow.

“I don’t want to talk about Koki. I don’t want to talk about shit right now.”

“Yes you do, I mean, not necessarily about Koki, but you want to talk or you wouldn’t
be here.”

He went quiet again as he re-crossed his legs and looked down at his hands.

“I feel lost, Lawrence. I feel like I’m losing myself. I feel…volatile. Out of control.
I’m getting pissed off at the drop of a dime, blowing my top. Inside, I am boiling
with anger.” Saint’s eyes glossed over as he set his bottle down and pointed to his
gut. “It’s like, a part of me doesn’t want any part of this…running New York. That
sounds so crazy to me. But…the other part of me knows it’s my destiny, and that part
wants to run this shit with an iron fist. I used to hate physical confrontations as
a child. Now, I almost live for it.

“That disturbs me, Lawrence. A part of me, shit…I don’t know.” He shook his head.
“I just don’t understand myself anymore. A part of me, you know, doesn’t want to find
anyone, wants to be just left the hell alone…but then, the Saint that enjoys terrorizing
people wants to decapitate this son of a bitch with my bare hands! I want to rid the
world of this shit…this horrible shit that makes people lose their minds. Getting
rid of Koki won’t solve this though…it won’t.”

“Well, in a sense that is true and in another sense, it is not. You see, Saint, you
dealing with Koki sends a message. It lets the Demon Children know that you are here
and what you are capable of. It keeps them in line, at least for a period of time.
It is the only way. They won’t stop simply because you say to stop. They only understand
force. Even God himself, as the story goes, had to cast Lucifer out of heaven. That
was not a word of advice; it was a direct action because that is all he could understand.
Koki is demonically possessed and there is no curing him.”

Right then, with those words, Lawrence stole Saint’s hopes and dreams right from underneath
him. He was wishing deep within there could be some way to keep from annihilating
the man, a way to get the fiend to behave. It would be a fierce fight, and this he
knew without setting eyes on the brute; Koki was simply not going to lie down and
take it. Worse of all, just as Krishna explained, Koki was merely doing his job. Despite
it being evil and devastating for others, he was designed to do
exactly
what he was doing. You can’t hate a serpent for being a snake, or an angel for being
angelic. As Krishna told him—you must hate the actions, not the entity. Nevertheless,
religious texts explained and encouraged the hatred of Satan, for he was the ruler
and creator of all that was wrong with the world. Satan was not created to do as he
was doing; however…they were not the same. In that, Saint had a new understanding.

“…Saint, the move, your marriage, Hassani, the Rainbeau Knights, setting up our new
place, everything is just starting to take its toll on you.”

“But my marriage isn’t in trouble.” Saint felt himself becoming a bit defensive, though
he knew deep down what the man was digging at. Was it really that obvious? Nevertheless,
he continued his protest. “It’s stronger than ever.”

“In some aspects, yes, in others, you have concerns. Something is going on with you
and Xenia. Do you know where this new spurring of jealousy is coming from?”

“Did Jagger tell you about the guy at the disco party for the—”

“No. Jagger told me nothing about what happened at Raphael’s party that we unfortunately
could not attend, but word travels fast. In any case, this move wasn’t just about
you being homesick, needing to expand the Knights as well. That was part of it, but
not all. This also has to do with your marriage, Saint. Your Queen…the very person
you care for most in the whole world. She is here to be indoctrinated. In a way, like
the gang warfare, Saint, she is being ‘jumped in’ if you will. She was not able to
fulfill her destiny in L.A., either.”