Saint And Sinners (66 page)

“And what’s that?” Lawrence continued to stroke his son’s hair, but Saint didn’t miss
the way the man’s hand slightly trembled.

“To just let me have my Queen as soon as she passes…let me meet her at the gate. That’s
all I want. That’s all I need…”

*

“I
’m down here
at the Sheraton on Charlton Street!”

“Mama!” Xenia was seeing bloody red, and not simply because of her deep claret suit
that fit her freshly showered body like a glove. “Why in the world would you come
into town without telling me first? And why didn’t you just stay with me if you wanted
to come visit?”

“So you and Saint can cramp my style again and try to play games with my mind? No
thank you, little sista! I’m hip to both y’alls asses! I don’t know how he found out
about my mama, but it was either you or Porsche that tol’ him that mess!”

“Mama, no I did not and you
know
I didn’t.” Grimacing, Xenia put her hand on her hip.

“Keep lyin’ to your mama like this, the Lord will split you in two and then Saint
will be married to an identical twin instead of a fraternal one. And besides, I need
to get my nightlife on and I ain’t tryna be all-quiet in your library, nun-sanctuary
of a house with monks walkin’ around swangin’ incense on gold chains! Forget that,
baaaaay-bay! I can’t even smoke, havin’ to go outside in the damn cold! Last time
I was out in that itty bitty ass garden of yours, my damn nipples got so hard and
frostbitten they almost snapped the hell off and coulda been mistaken for acorns by
the damn squirrels!”

“Oh, Mama…” Xenia rolled her eyes.

“Oh Mama, nothin’! How’d you like that to happen to me, huh? The damn wildlife playin’
kickball with my lady parts and then runnin’ off to their little squirrel homes with
my appendages! I coulda been nipple-less on account of y’alls asses! The ride from
the airport was the damn kicker though. What a damn mess…”

“Well, that’s what you kind of get, Mama for not calling me so I could make arrangements
for you to be picked up.”

“I ain’t in the mood for one of your Dudley Do-Right lectures, Xenia. Look, my nerves
is bad…you should see my hands shakin’. This funny lookin’, long nosed man wearin’
one of them pink polyester turbans from the Family Dollah was swervin’ and weavin’
through the streets like he was duckin’ and dodgin’ in a damn boxin’ match! His accent
was so damn thick, I thought he had a loaf of bread stuck in his mouth, jam and butter
included. And den the damn meter was still runnin’ while he drove all slow in some
parts, tryna be slick, like I’m some silly ass old lady from unda some heavy rock
at the bottom of the Mississippi river.

“These mothafuckas think all out-of-towners are corn fed and stupid. I told that ‘My-Dream-of-Jeanie’-lookin’
son of a bitch to gas it like immigration was comin’ after his Saudi Arabian ass!
Pretend he on a damn flying carpet! Gun it like somebody stole some damn scratch-off
lottery tickets from his papa’s corner store, shit! He know he over here illegal,
and then tryna nickel and dime folks like I’m stuck on Stupid Turnpike and can’t get
off the main road. These immigrants make more over here in one damn day, girl, than
they did in one
year
in their own country, you know that, Xenia?”

“Mama, I want you to stop watching Fox News.”

“This shit is a fact! Back home, they runnin’ wild like mice on Prozac! I ain’t no
Republican, but I got repub. tendencies when it comes to these damn boarder jumpers
and thieves! And they always got somethin’ slick to say about black folk, like they
better than us. I gotta news flash in their native tongue for they silly asses—all
these white folk want them to do is clean their damn houses and run ’em around all
over town in they little wind-up cab cars but they all up in these white folks’ asses
like it ain’t nothin’! Them same white people will turn right around and call the
police on their sombrero wearin’ butts once a silver spoon come up missin’ from the
kitchen, despite the fact that little Johnny stole the shit for his meth habit and
let Felipe and Maria go down for the rap!”

Xenia stared out the window, trying to escape the conversation via a daydream, but
nothing worked. Her mother continued right on, spewing the rhetoric.

“These white folks ain’t studdin’ them damn Mexicans…’cept to scrub some toilets and
they out here fallin’ for the okee doke, the legal ones voting Republican. That’s
some dumb ass shit if I ever heard of it! That’s like you uh slave, and you givin’
yo’ slave master a voluntary lap dance, and happy about the shit, too. Ain’t that
some mess?! They the ones that want their leeching asses deported and that money they
sending back to they mama and all fifty of they siblings…taxed! They better wake up
and smell the damn Columbian coffee, the oranges from their side of the Mexican road
carts or wherever the hell they comin’ from. Don’t matter, they all act the same when
it comes to this shit.”

Xenia shook her head in disbelief. She did not have the patience for this right now
but there was no getting out of it—Mama was in town, and she’d just have to deal with
it.

“Mama, back to your situation with the cab ride, you don’t even know what country
that man is from. Now come on, you’ve said enough. You shouldn’t make statements like
that; it’s racist. You know this isn’t right.”

“Well
excuuuuuuse
me, Ms. World Nations Ambassador of N.Y.C.!” Pam huffed. Xenia could imagine her
mother’s hand on her hip. “You wouldn’t be talkin’ so slick if you’d known he almost
killed your mama in all the foolishness! And you shoulda seen ’im! Givin’ me the evil
eye… I saw his sneaky ass in the rear view mirror. He thought he scored an idiot until
I set his ass straight! I shoulda ripped that damn strawberry-flavored, soft-serve-ice-cream-lookin’
head wrap off his damn skull and slapped him so hard with it he’d learn English in
an instant! People would come from miles around after that to be slapped by the likes
of me! My name would be Pam Mothafuckin’ Rosetta Stone! Woulda been a blessing in
damn disguise, that’s for damn sure. They don’t know a drop uh damn English, but then
sound like some British scholar from one of them fancy colleges once it’s time to
get paid, damn crooks! They fluent in the art of trying to shine somebody outta they
damn money, that’s what they fluent in!” Mama’s voice quivered as the sound of traffic
seemed to be swooshing past her.

Xenia sighed and looked at herself in her bedroom mirror. She’d been trying on outfit
for the upcoming workweek, and now her good mood was soured.

“Are you outside, Mama?”

“Yeah, just standing out here on my cell phone taking in the sights.” She heard the
woman blow out a puff of smoke. “There’s some funny ass lookin’ people in New York,”
she said, chuckling. “You know that? I done seen some Queens who’ve got better make-up
skills than most though.”

Xenia smiled. “I love hearing you call black women Queens, Mama. I see Saint is rubbing
off on you a bit.”

“Black women?” Pam burst out laughing. “Chile please! I’m talkin’ about these damn
seven foot, Amazon
drag
queens workin’ these streets like a dog does a pork chop bone! One of ’em walked
past me looking like a big ass garage door. I wanted to find my clicker, open him
up and drive straight through that big ass bastard, tell the cab driver to pull on
in and park…”

Xenia ran her hand across her forehead and shook her head. She should have known it
would be too good to be true.

“You shoulda seen ’im, Xenia. I had to lower my head in prayer and pray for that son
of a bitch’s big, burly rectangular ass and the sidewalk he was switchin’ down! He
was like a big ass overgrown potato, sour cream and chives, scootin’ down the damn
path like he was dainty ’nd shit! He was battin’ his fake eyelashes so hard, I thought
they was part of the street sweepin’ crew! Just big body everywhere, stuffed in heels!
Wore the damn things down to nubs! They probably started as six-inch stilettos but
by the time he crossed my way, they looked like fifteen-year-old ballet slippers.
These damn Queens can do some damn hair and make-up, but some of ’em need to give
up tryna become what God never intended! When you as big as all outdoors, trees, mountains
and sky included, the only thing you gonna do is pass the fuck out from over-exertion,
’cause you sure as hell ain’t passin’ for no damn woman! Who tha hell they tryna fool?
What woman you know got hands the size of Australia and a voice so deep it make Barry
White sound like a newborn baby girl?”

“Mama, look.” Xenia grimaced. “I know you came here with the best of intentions, but
I’m starting my new job soon and—”

“I know, that’s the whole point! You may not realize this right now Xenia, but you
need
me. I’m gonna watch the baby while you work. I can even get Hassani and Dakarai from
school so you and Saint ain’t racin’ ’round tryna do it all, just ’til you get settled.
That nanny you hired ain’t enough and I don’t know that woman! Got some stranger ’round
my grandbabies. Besides, I’ll just be here a short while. I knew if I told you first,
you’d act a fool and try to talk me out of it. And besides, Hassani got some red eye
disease; he probably allergic to strawberries and tomatoes, just like my sister was…
That stuff can be deadly to some people, Xenia. You and Saint need to stop pussyfootin’
around and get that boy to the eye doctor! You’d never forgive yourself if he ended
up having to wear one of them damn patches and look like a pirate for the rest of
his life! Ahoy Matey my ass! Ain’t nothin’ cute about it!”

“Mama!” Xenia took a deep breath and fell back on her bed in exasperation. “That was
very thoughtful of you to consider us and come all this way but how are you going
to pick up the children? You don’t have a car here. You’d have to get more cabs and
you’ve already proven just how much you enjoyed that!”

“Don’t you worry about a thing! I will do it for the greater good. Like it or not,
I’m here and will
be
here for a few weeks to help you. You never could accept help graciously… I have
no idea where you got that from.”

Xenia looked at herself in the large vanity mirror and smirked. “Well, thank you,
Mama. Can you come by for dinner tonight?”

“I need to get a little rest. I’m tired, baby, but how ’bout tomorrow?”

“That’s perfect…and Mama?”

“Yes, baby?”

“I love you.”

“I love you too, that’s why I’m here…”

*