Samantha James (31 page)

Gerda noted rather anxiously he did not say if he found her. . . she shivered and prayed that Lady Kathryn would come to no harm from any creatures she might encounter. . . human as well. And she prayed uneasily for her lady’s safety yet again as she watched Sir Guy gallop away a short time later.

He looked like a man beset with demons.

Darkness dropped its smothering folds about the earth with the suddenness of a candle being snuffed out by invisible fingers. Kathryn huddled closer to the fire, too nervous to sleep, too fitful to try to rest. At least she was on the right road; Zelda had unwittingly told her of several landmarks which she had passed earlier in the day. But knowing Guy had arrived at Sedgewick today left her uneasy. She had no trouble picturing his fury. He would probably set out after her, she thought with a sniff, for he was imperious enough to see her escape as an affront to his manhood.

But he would never find her, she thought, a secret smile tugging at her lips. He would conclude that she had bolted for Ashbury, but by noonday tomorrow she would be safely within the walls of the convent, where she could take refuge until her babe was born... and after? There was time enough to consider that later, she reminded herself curtly. Indeed, she had nothing but time .. . She brought her legs to her breast and let her chin drop against her knees.

In the distance the lonely howl of a wolf split the air, then fell eerily silent.

Kathryn tensed, relaxing long minutes later. Soon she began to doze. Unbidden, she remembered a similar night when he had lurked in the shadows. As if in a dream, she saw him, legs planted wide apart in that arrogant stance, his shoulders, lean and wide, blotting out the moonlight. His eyes glittered silver, bright and vivid in the firelight as his lips curved in that mocking smile she so hated.

This was no dream.

Guy was here—here! She was on her feet in an instant, spinning around wildly. She got no further than an arm-length before he caught her elbow and whirled her around. "No!" The sound tore from deep in her throat. "No!"

"Oh, yes, Kathryn... yes!" His hands descended on her shoulders. His head came closer. In some far distant corner of her mind, she thought vaguely that it was as it had been once before. His mouth plundered the softness of hers, while his hand skimmed her body—breasts, hips, thighs, and belly—

They both froze.

He wrenched his mouth from hers at the same instant an expression of incredulous disbelief washed across his features. His gaze slid down her body; had she not been so slender, the rounded swell of her belly would not have been so obvious. His fingers splayed wider, as if to seek confirmation. Stricken, Kathryn could only stare at him while his eyes widened in slow-growing horror. Abruptly, with a suddenness that wrung a startled cry from her, he snatched back his hand with a vile curse, as if he could not stand to touch her.

His reaction was like a physical blow, the ultimate rejection. A giant pair of hands seemed to close about her heart and squeeze. "Damn you," she lashed out furiously. "Why did you have to follow me? Why did you have to find me? I was so close... so close!"

His fingers closed around her upper arms. He dragged her to him. "Is this why you ran? Because of the child?"

"God, how can you ask?" She cried out in anguish and despair. "I fled for the very reason we stand here shouting at each other! Did you think I wanted you to find me like this? I knew you would blame me. I knew it!"

He ignored her railing. "How far gone are you? Four months? Five?" Guy did not doubt that the child was his. She'd been guarded far too well for her to play him false.

"Nearly six," she choked out.

He bit back an oath. 'Then you knew you were with child when I left Sedgewick for Henry's side, didn't you? You knew and you refused to tell me!"

She turned her eyes away, unable to meet the angry demand in his.

"Christ, you must have realized... you were nearly three months along. Why didn't you tell me?" When she said nothing, his fingers bit into the soft flesh of her arms. He shook her so hard her head fell back. She looked at him, dazed. "Answer me, damn you!"

In his heart he was appalled at his behavior, yet she could not know the pain she inflicted. She had run from him when she learned he was coming home. Had she would be killed in battle and never return.

Her lungs burned with the effort it took to hold back her tears. She'd not cry in front of him. She would not!

" 'Twas Gerda who realized—" She caught her breath on a dry sob. "I swear I did not know until after you'd gone!"

He stared at her so long and so accusingly she wanted to shrivel up and die. He did not believe her, she realized finally... Her heart shattered. A wave of utter desolation swept over her. Against all reason, she suddenly ached for him to take her in his arms. She longed to bury her face against his chest and clung to him, putting aside all their enmity for once.

But he was the cause of all her misery... not the cure.

Feeling numb and beaten, she watched as he stalked to his destrier. An instant later he thrust a blanket into her hands. "You might as well sleep while you can," he ordered. "We leave at first light."

In mute acceptance, Kathryn lay down and curled up before the fire. Guy flung himself down beside a tree, propping his back against the rough bark, his mind seething.

He thought of all the lonely nights he'd spent dreaming of her, yearning for her, waking up to find himself hard and throbbing, like an untried lad. Desire flamed within him, as fiery and demanding as ever. The urge to roll her over and take his pleasure was almost overpowering, for he'd lain with no other since the night he'd left Sedgewick. Oh, it wasn't for lack of opportunity. Not three nights past a winsome widow had made it known she would welcome his attentions. But once they were alone in her chamber, he found she stirred him not a whit. Her hips were too wide, her breasts too heavy. Feeling like a eunuch, he'd finally excused himself before he humiliated either of them further.

Kathryn had spoiled him for any other woman, damn her beautiful hide!

And now she lay beside him, as untouchable as ever.

Nay, he dare not lay a hand on her, he decided bitterly. She would fight him and he could not vouch for his behavior right now. Somehow he could never control either his temper or his passions when she was near.

He found no respite in sleep that night.

Kathryn felt she'd barely closed her eyes than he nudged her awake. He said nothing as he helped her to her feet, his expression carefully controlled. But her heart sank once she was on her feet. She gazed fully into his eyes; they were as icy as the frigid waters of the sea.

She sensed his impatience to be off so she quickly tended to her private needs. When she returned he handed her a slab of bread and cheese. By the time she brushed the crumbs from her kirtle, he had their horses ready and waiting.

An hour later they came to a crossroads. Kathryn held back when he guided his destrier down the fork in the dusty road, rather than returning the way she had come. Ever alert, Guy turned and fixed her with a glare.

Her tongue came out to dampen her lips. "Are you certain this is the road to Sedgewick?" She gestured to her right. "I'm sure I came from that way, milord."

"We are not returning to Sedgewick," he informed her curtly. "We go to Ashbury where I am to meet Henry."

A jolt of shock ran through her. For an instant she felt as if everything inside were collapsing. Her face bloodless, she stared at him. "No," she whispered faintly. Her hand moved instinctively to her middle. "You cannot—"

At her look of horror, a blaze ignited within him. He let loose of the storm in his soul. "What!" he mocked. "Does this not please the lady Kathryn?" He was far too upset to heed his tongue. "For months you've been telling how much you hate Sedgewick, how desperately you long to be back at Ashbury. Well, you finally have your wish, milady, so where is your gratitude now?"

There was no escaping the determined glitter in his eyes. He grabbed her bridle and brought Esmerelda wheeling alongside his destrier. Her heart began to bleed as he slapped her palfrey sharply on the rump. She did not cry, though for once she would have welcomed the release.

This was a hurt that went beyond tears.

Chapter 14

They arrived at Ashbury several days later.

Kathryn's reunion with Elizabeth was all she feared. They were scarcely through the gates than Elizabeth came tearing outside, laughing and crying her name. Kathryn half-turned from Esmerelda, unwittingly providing a side profile of her rounded tummy.

Elizabeth's cries of joy ended on a strangled gasp.

By the time they hugged and embraced, Sir Hugh was there as well. Guy stood next to Kathryn, but it was as if an invisible boundary had been drawn between them. The four of them exchanged greetings, the atmosphere stilted and awkward.

Now, back in the chamber she had occupied since she was a child, Kathryn released a long sigh of relief. The oaken portal had no sooner creaked shut than Elizabeth threw her arms around her sister and hugged her fiercely once more. "Kathryn," she cried. "Oh, you do not know how I have missed you!"

Tears sprang to Kathryn's eyes. It was difficult to speak around the lump in her throat. "Oh, but I think I do," she said shakily.

Elizabeth squeezed her hands. Her smile faded. "Are you well, sister?" She worriedly noted the pale-purple smudges beneath Kathryn's eyes. "You look so wearied."

'The journey was not overly pleasant." Ah, and wasn't that the truth, she reflected bitterly. The discord between herself and Guy had never been greater. They had spoken only when necessary. He could scarcely bring himself to look at her.

Her hand fluttered down to the hard swell of her belly. "I suppose I should explain," she said quietly.

Elizabeth then bit her lip. "I fear I am rather puzzled," she admitted. She hesitated. "You were so certain when you left that you were not—"

"I was not." Kathryn's laugh held no mirth. "At least not then."

Elizabeth was aghast. "Do you mean to say that you... I mean the earl. . ." She blushed a fiery red and broke off.

"Aye, Elizabeth. The babe is his." She glimpsed the anxious question in her sister's gaze. "And no, we are neither married nor betrothed. Nor," she stressed shortly, "are we ever likely to be. We may have created a child together, but rest assured that the earl and I have little regard for each other."

As briefly as possible, she told Elizabeth of the earl's mission for King Henry and how he had just learned of her condition. Elizabeth nodded slowly when she'd finished. "Hugh has told me that King Henry is expected any day now." She shivered. "Having the earl here makes me nervous as it is, let alone the king. I fear I shall say something wrong."

"You will do fine," Kathryn soothed. But the next instant she studied her sister more closely. She had been concerned for Elizabeth's well-being these many months, afraid she would wilt away from loneliness. But vibrant color bloomed in Elizabeth's cheeks. Her eyes were clear and unwavering. It struck her then that Elizabeth appeared calmer, more confident, despite her words. . . and more at peace with herself.

"You have changed," she said slowly, then smiled slightly. 'Tell me, Elizabeth. Is Sir Hugh responsible for the lilt in your voice, the glow in your cheeks?"

Elizabeth's eyes widened with dismay. "It is obvious, then?" She sounded so worried that Kathryn could not help but laugh, her first genuine laugh in days, and soon Elizabeth joined her.

"I never thought to feel anything but fear for any man, but Hugh is different," she confided after a moment. "Kathryn, he is ever so kind and thoughtful. He makes me feel very special and— and cherished." She blushed a becoming shade of pink and lowered her voice to a whisper, though there was no one to hear. "I love it when he touches me. I love it even more when he kisses me. And oh, it is not frightening as I had feared it might be. In truth, it is the most glorious thing I've ever felt in my life!"

A sharp stab pierced Kathryn's chest. She remembered the searing fusion of Guy's mouth on hers, hot and demanding and fervently exciting.

She forced a smile. "You have not been so unhappy then?"

Elizabeth shook her head. "I've missed you sorely, but nay, I've not been unhappy."

Kathryn squeezed her hand. "Then I am glad for you."

There was a tap on the door. It opened and Helga came in, bearing a small tray. She bobbed a curtsy, then placed the tray of honey cakes on the bench between the two sisters. "I thought mayhap my lady could use the sustenance—" She straightened, her gaze lingering openly on Kathryn's belly as she gave a trilling laugh. "—being that she's expecting a babe and all."

Kathryn was too stunned to say a word. It was left to Elizabeth to murmur politely, "Thank you, Helga. That will be all now."

Helga swept from the chamber, but not before Kathryn glimpsed her simpering smirk.

Hot shame swept over her. Helga had not acted out of kindness or consideration, or even duty. The girl had merely wished to gape and see the truth for herself. Had word spread so quickly then? A feeling of sick dread clutched her insides. She could not eat a single crumb of the tempting honey cakes.