Samantha James (26 page)

Instead he whispered, “We have a son, Cassie.
We have a son
.”

Cassie’s eyes fluttered open. She turned her head, her vision clouded by a dull gray film. Hovering on the fringes of unconsciousness, she battled to keep her eyes open. She was so tired, but she so desperately wanted just a glimpse of her baby.

Gabriel glanced up just as she tried to raise herself on an elbow, shaking with the effort. Tears glazed her eyes as she collapsed weakly, tears that reached out and caught hold of his heart. He was there in an instant, easing his precious bundle down beside her and parting the blanket with one big hand so she could see.

“Is he…all right?” Gabriel had to strain to hear, so feeble was her voice.

“I see ten fingers, ten toes…There is certainly no surfeit of flesh—or hair either!—but he looks to be a fine little lad.”

The merest smile grazed her lips. Her fears extinguished, her strength at last depleted, she closed her eyes and slept.

When Cassie woke again, afternoon sunshine trickled through the windows. She stirred, wincing a little as she turned to her side. Gloria scurried in just then, a tray in her hands.

“Ah, you’re awake and just in time! Are you hungry, milady?”

“Do you know, I—I’m starving.” Cassie was startled to find that she was indeed ravenous. She ate every bite of the steaming lamb stew and fragrant, yeasty bread. Afterwards, Gloria brought a warm basin of water with which she was able to wash. Once her nightgown had been changed, her
hair brushed and braided, she felt distinctly more presentable.

She cleared her throat as Gloria carried her toilet articles back to the dressing table. “Is my husband home?”

“I believe he’s in the study.” The maid gave a hearty chuckle. “Oh, but you should have seen him last night, milady. He’ll be a proud, strutting papa to be sure—why, it was all the doctor could do to pry the little one away from him so he could examine him proper.”

So Gabriel had been well pleased with his son…a little of her anxious dread departed. Perhaps it was silly of her, but somewhere deep inside she’d been half-afraid he might reject him. She glanced longingly toward the corner, where a cradle had been placed. Peeping out from the end of the blankets was the top of a tiny dark head.

Just then, there was the faintest movement from within the heap of flannel. A woeful little cry emanated forth. Gloria laughed when she spied the leap of joy in her mistress’s eyes. Cassie leaned up on an elbow and looked on eagerly as the maid plucked the infant from his nest and changed his napkin. She had nearly finished when a tall form appeared in the doorway.

It was Gabriel, freshly bathed and shaven from the look of him. Cassie’s pulse leaped and skittered. His hair gleamed dark and damp and she could smell the faint scent of the cologne he used. Gloria had straightened, lifting the fretful infant to her shoulder. Gabriel wordlessly beckoned with a finger, and the maid passed the child to him.
Miraculously, the babe quieted the instant he was snug in his father’s arms. The maid bobbed a curtsy and quietly retreated. Cassie did not notice, for her attention was utterly commanded by the pair which even now came near.

His lips quirked as he addressed the babe. “I think your mother feels it’s time the two of you met properly, my little lord.” An unmistakable tenderness lurked in those silvery eyes as he bent to lower their son into her waiting arms.

Cassie scarcely felt the brush of his hands as he passed the bundle to her. Gabriel was forgotten—everything was forgotten as she felt the slight weight of her baby nestled in the curve of her elbow for the very first time. A rush of delight poured through her, sweet and pure.

Her babe regarded her with his father’s usual severity, tiny little brows drawn over a nubbin nose. His eyes were a deep, murky blue. A fine dark fuzz covered his head. But even Cassie, with her limited knowledge of infants, knew he was smaller than most newborns.

A tremor went through her. She cradled his head in her palm. “He’s so tiny,” she whispered. “Oh, Gabriel, what if—”

Gabriel laid the back of his knuckles against her flushed cheek. “The physician said he appears to be in exceedingly fine health despite his early arrival in the world,” he said gently.

Cassie squeezed her eyes shut, for a moment too choked up to speak. She was lucky, she realized, shaken to her very soul. If anything had happened to him, she’d have felt guilty for the rest of her days.

After a moment, she poked curiously at the faded white gown he wore.

Gabriel had perched himself on the side of the bed. “I’m afraid we were rather ill-equipped for an infant in the house quite so soon,” he said with a crooked smile. “We borrowed several items from the cook’s daughter until Father and Mrs. McGee get back from London. They left very early this morning to see to his needs.”

A vague memory surfaced, of Edmund standing beside the bed, a smile creasing his face. Edmund…smiling? Surely it was her imagination!

Her quizzical gaze had traveled to the cradle in the corner, fashioned of dark, polished mahogany.

“The cradle, too, is an old one, I’m afraid—mine and Stuart’s. My father sent Davis to the attic to retrieve it.” Gabriel paused. “But we can certainly purchase a new one if you’d like.”

His father again
. Cassie resisted the urge to glance at him sharply. Usually when he spoke of Edmund there was a decided edge in his tone. Yet curiously, such was not the case now. Could it be that in the time she’d been gone, the two had mended their differences?

The notion progressed no further, for the baby decided he’d been patient long enough. He was impatient for his dinner, and it appeared he was determined both his parents should know it.

Cassie started at his sudden loud squall. Gabriel sighed and reluctantly reached for his son. “We’ve engaged a wet nurse from the village,” he murmured. “I’ll bring him back as soon as he’s done, I promise—”

But Cassie was not about to relinquish her precious bundle. “A wet nurse!” she cried. “There is no need for one! I can feed him myself!”

Gabriel hesitated. “The physician said he must be nursed every two hours until he begins to gain some flesh,” he said slowly. “And ladies do not usually nurse their own—”

“I fail to see what difference that makes,” she said, her chin tipped high. “We both know I am no lady.”

Gabriel’s lips tightened. “I have no objection to your nursing him, Cassie. I am concerned over your health and I merely thought you might find such a demand taxing.” His arrogance returned in full measure. “But I do not care for the implication you are less than a lady—less than what you are. You are the countess of Wakefield and the mother of my son, and as such, I will hear no slander against you, even when it comes from your own lips.”

Cassie ducked her head. The babe was wailing in earnest now. She was suddenly ashamed of her pettiness. Gabriel showed no signs of leaving to allow her privacy to feed the baby, and after making such an issue over it she realized she had no choice but to see the deed done.

Gabriel’s unceasing regard made her nervous. Her fingers tugged at the drawstring at her neckline. The material gave way, sliding down her arm and exposing the round, rosy-tipped fullness of her breast. Feeling acutely clumsy and awkward, she turned her son’s body ever so slightly. Quite by accident he latched onto her nipple and began to suck.

The quiet which followed was somehow more strident than the babe’s cries. She took a deep, shuddering breath. “Please don’t be angry with me.” Her voice was low and choked.

He touched her then, stroking the curve of her cheek with the pad of his thumb. He leaned close, so close she could feel the warmth of body and breath, and for a heartstopping second she thought he might kiss her. She wanted him to, she realized. She wanted it with a yearning that made her feel all hot and shivery inside.

“I am not angry,” he said very softly. “I am only very very glad that you are back where you belong.” Pinned by the raw emotion in his eyes, Cassie could not look away. But his thumb merely brushed the fullness of her lower lip, then was gone.

His gaze fell to their son. “Have you given any thought to what we might name him?”

Feeling bereft but determined not to show it, Cassie bit her lip. “Actually,” she said very low, “I do have a name in mind.” She did not confess that she had never doubted she would bear him a son. “I have always liked the name Jonathan…and I thought perhaps Stuart for a second name…” She held her breath and waited. For the life of her, she was not certain what Gabriel’s reaction might be.

“Jonathan Stuart.” He murmured the name experimentally, and then his expression grew incredibly warm. “I like that, sweet. Jonathan Stuart he shall be.”

Her heart brimmed. In all her days, she did not know when she’d known such happiness, such contentment. Perhaps Gabriel had been right to
bring her back. He loved his son—of that she had no doubt. And the knowledge filled her with a joyous peacefulness. Even if he never came to love her, pride in their son was something they would share forever…

She could ask for no more.

I
t was a week before Cassie was allowed to leave her bed. She protested her confinement heartily, but either Gabriel or Gloria made certain it was enforced. In truth, she did little more than eat, sleep, and nurse Jonathan. Soon she began to regain her strength and color.

Deep in her heart, she knew Gabriel had been right to bring her back to Farleigh, for now that she had held her child in her arms, she wanted everything for him. On her own, she could never have provided for him as Gabriel could. Nightly she gave thanks to the Lord, for Jonathan would have so much that she had never had. He would never be hungry. Never lack for a roof over his head. But she was determined that he would also grow up knowing he was loved and wanted…

She had resisted at first when Gabriel suggested hiring a nurse, but falling to Gabriel and Evelyn’s persuasive arguments, Cassie relented. She did insist, however, that the choice of help remain solely in her hands.

Although both women Cassie interviewed, at the recommendation of Edmund’s reliable sources, were no doubt eminently capable, in Cassie’s mind,
they were both stiff and crusty and decidedly glacial. She wanted someone warm and vibrant, who was unafraid to laugh—someone Jonathan could trust as well as love. In the end, she chose a big raw-boned girl from the village. Alice had sparkling brown eyes and a warm, ready smile. With eight younger brothers and sisters, she also had a wealth of experience with babies. Even Jonathan appeared to like her. He had cooed and promptly fallen asleep in the crook of her arm, quite content as his mother conducted the interview. Cassie suspected that Edmund did not particularly care for her choice, but she was confident she had chosen well.

But where Gabriel was concerned, there was still so much unresolved tension between them. Though his manner was not precisely cold, and he was always faultlessly polite, Cassie was tormented. She loved him so! And she craved some outward sign that he cared for her, at least a little…

But time only ripened the distance between them.

As the days turned to weeks, Cassie’s heart cried out in anguish. She wavered between hurt and indignation, hope and yearning. Not once had he returned to her bed, though Dr. Hampton had tactfully made it clear to both of them there was no need to abstain any longer.

But Gabriel had made no sign that he wanted her in that regard. Cassie was secretly devastated. Had the sight of her misshapen, pregnant body killed his passion? She was newly slim, with the exception of her breasts, which were noticeably fuller. But perhaps Gabriel no longer desired her. She ached to think she had lost even that!

In the midst of her agitation, Christopher came to call one bright afternoon in late June. Gabriel was not there, but was out tending to estate business. Cassie invited him to stay in the hopes that Gabriel would return. While they took tea in the drawing room, Christopher tickled Jonathan beneath the chin and exclaimed how he’d grown since he’d last visited several weeks earlier. After Alice took the baby upstairs, Christopher glanced at his watch, then arose.

“It’s time I took my leave. I’ve lingered long enough and it appears Gabriel may be some time yet.”

Cassie walked with him outside. They stood at the top of the wide stone stairway and waited for a groom to bring his horse. Christopher slipped his hands into his pockets, then turned to Cassie, his expression faintly sheepish.

“Actually, Cassie, I have some exciting news I thought to share with you and Gabriel.”

“Well,” Cassie said lightly. “Since Gabriel did not have the good grace to appear, you shall just have to tell me.”

Christopher chuckled. “Very well, then. Do you know the old manor house along the lane north of here?”

“I do indeed! I pass it when I ride to Warrenton. ’Tis truly a shame no one lives there! Why, it would be quite lovely if only it had the proper care and were not so neglected.”

“I am quite inclined to agree, though I daresay that will very soon be rectified.”

Cassie blinked. “What! Do you mean that you…why, Christopher…”

He laughed at her astonishment. “Yes, Cassie, ’tis true. You see before you the new owner. In fact, I will spend this very night there.”

“Oh, Christopher, I’m so pleased!” She exclaimed her delight, but couldn’t resist teasing him. “Hmmm. Does this mean you have given up your wild, wicked ways in order to become a gentleman of leisure?”

His grin was infectious. “I must say, with Gabriel settling down so admirably which only a year ago no one would have considered even remotely possible, I suppose anything could happen!”

Cassie’s heart beat a little faster. Was it true, then, that Gabriel was content? Oh, if only she dared hope…“Now that you have acquired a country house, Christopher, you lack only one thing.”

“And what might that be?”

“A wife to tame you!”

To her surprise, his smile withered. “I would like nothing more,” he said, and it was almost as if he spoke to himself. “But that is the one thing that will never be.”

His ruddy features were somber. A wistful, almost melancholy sadness had entered his eyes. Cassie frowned.

“Why do you say that, Christopher? You are young. You are handsome. I cannot imagine why a young lady would refuse if you chose to pay court to her.”

He was silent for a moment. “’Tis not in the refusal of the lady in question that the problem lies.” With that cryptic statement, his gaze flitted
north, to his newly acquired manor house…and Warrenton.

Cassie caught her breath. Comprehension dawned with a rush. “Why, it’s Evelyn, isn’t it?” She answered her own question. Of course it was. She recalled how often she’d seen them together in London—dancing. Sometimes just talking…perhaps it had started even then.

“Christopher, you and Evelyn!” She laughed her delight. “Why, that’s wonderful!”

A twinge of pain flitted across his face. “No, Cassie. ’Tis impossible.”

“But why? Doesn’t she love you?”

He hesitated. “She does,” he admitted finally. “I bought the manor house so that I could be near her, at least until she marries.”

Cassie was horrified. “If you love her, you cannot let her marry someone else! Why don’t you simply declare yourself?”

He sighed. “Her father is pompous and of the old guard, Cassie. ’Tis common knowledge he will not be satisfied unless she marries both a fortune
and
a title—an earl at the very least. I am only a lowly baronet, unworthy of his recognition. Were I to declare myself, Warrenton would make certain I
never
saw her again.”

Cassie’s heart went out to him. “Oh, Christopher, how sad for you both. But you cannot give up hope, not yet. Evelyn still has no serious suitors, nor does she desire any.”

“She will not forsake her duty, Cassie. She will not dishonor her father’s wishes by going against him.” He paused. “And I will not dishonor her by asking such a thing of her.”

Cassie bit her lip. A part of her whispered he was right, yet she dared not admit it to him. Instead she touched his sleeve.

“Do not give up,” she said softly. “Perhaps there is still some way the two of you can be together. Perhaps a solution can still be found.” On impulse she reached out and laid her hands on his shoulders, kissing his cheek before she bid him good-bye.

The memory of Christopher’s visit still dwelled in her mind as she made her way upstairs. She peeked into the newly decorated nursery where Jonathan lay sound asleep in his cradle. Her gaze was troubled as she moved further down the hall to her room.

She stood at the windows for a long time, a slender hand parting the curtains. Beyond the rolling expanse of lawn, the purple haze of twilight clung to the treetops. She sighed, seeking to come up with some way to help her friends, to ease their plight. Christopher and Evelyn were both so dear to her heart. If only something could be done to sway the duke of Warrenton, so he might not ruin his daughter’s only chance at happiness!

Perhaps Gabriel could persuade his father to talk to Warrenton. The two still rode and hunted together often. She seized on the possibility, determined to put it to him at the first opportunity. Her mind so engrossed, she turned.

She gave an abrupt start, for suddenly there he was, standing not three feet before her.

“Gabriel!” Her laugh was rather shaky. “My word, you startled me! I did not hear you come in.”

Apparently he had just returned from his errands. He had not yet changed, and still wore boots and riding clothes. The width of his shoulders completely eclipsed her view of the door, and all at once the room seemed absurdly small. The fact that he was dressed all in black, coupled with the riding crop held between gloved fingers at his side, lent a curious air of menace to his demeanor.

Perhaps not so curious after all.

The cast of his jaw was grim and forbidding. He spoke no words of greeting, nor did he smile. Instead he fixed her with an unwavering gaze of piercing intensity.

“Gabriel?” A faint alarm began to pound along her veins. “Is something wrong?”

“I saw you, Yank. I saw the two of you before he rode off.”

Cassie gaped. “Who? Christopher?”

“The very same. So tell me, sweet. Do the two of you deceive me under this very roof?”

Though his tone was mild, his eyes were blistering. Cassie shivered. It spun through her mind that he was jealous. And while a part of her fairly reeled with elation, she was furious that he could think so little of her—and of his friend!

She squared her shoulders, striving for as much dignity as she could muster. “Nothing has changed, Gabriel.
You
have not changed, for I have done nothing to deserve this. You insult me by implying that I have—and you insult Christopher as well.”

Across the hall, Jonathan began to cry. Gabriel spun around, his intent clear. Cassie was only half a pace behind.

They were in the nursery now. Cassie spoke up quickly, just as Gabriel reached the cradle. “Here, let me—”

“I’m quite capable, I assure you.” He was curtly dismissive.

Cassie stood back as Gabriel’s dark hands slid gently beneath Jonathan’s small body. Though she had once been convinced such a thing would be impossible, Gabriel’s love for his son was unquestionable. A pang twisted her heart. Why couldn’t he spare even a measure of it for her?

As always, Jonathan quieted the instant he was picked up. Tucked in the crook of Gabriel’s elbow, he gazed at his father with complete and utter trust. Gabriel traced a dark finger down the front of his muslin gown. He chuckled softly when Jonathan seized his finger, carried it to his mouth, and sucked strongly. But the infant voiced his annoyance quite loudly when he realized no food supply was forthcoming. He began to wiggle and squirm, turning his head toward Gabriel’s chest.

An elegant brow arched high. “I’m afraid this is something I cannot do for you, Jonathan.” Hard gray eyes swiveled to capture hers. Without a word he laid him in her arms.

Cassie settled herself in the chair that overlooked the courtyard. Jonathan’s cries had begun to gain in pitch and volume. He rooted frantically against her, anxious and demanding. She rocked him in her arms, trying to soothe him. Her breasts tingled as her milk began to come in. Oh, damn…damn!

Gabriel spoke the obvious. “He’s hungry, Yank.”

The soft line of her lips compressed as she glanced up at him. She wished he would leave her alone to
feed her son, and to that end, she let her glare speak for her.

He merely smiled—oh, a demon’s smile!—she thought indignantly as he stepped behind her. His hands flashed into her line of vision. She stiffened in shock when he sought out the drawstring of her bodice. A deft, sure tug from those long, strong fingers and her breasts spilled free.

For a mind-splitting instant, his fingers lay hard and warm on the curve of her naked flesh. Then Jonathan latched onto her nipple with eager greed.

Cassie bowed her head low and sought to confine her attention to Jonathan. He was a good, sweet-natured baby who cried only when he was hungry or wet. Nor was he sickly, as she had feared he might be. His belly had grown round and firm, his little cheeks plump. But the peace and contentment that usually slipped over her as she sat and nursed him was glaringly absent.

The disquiet was stifling. Jonathan suckled noisily, the sound loud to Cassie’s overwrought nerves. Gabriel stood behind her, stark and remote. Cassie was achingly aware of him. He had been present numerous times before when she’d fed Jonathan, yet now his regard made her feel vulnerable and exposed as never before. He was an expert at bridling his feelings, while suddenly it seemed hers were strewn in every direction! When she switched Jonathan to her other breast, she discreetly tried to tug a blanket up over her exposed flesh and Jonathan’s head. Gabriel’s hand closed over hers, stopping her cold.

The battle began in earnest.

At length he moved to where she could see him. His eyes were glittering. “Such a devoted mother,” he observed mockingly. “A shame you are not such a devoted wife.”

“Oh, for pity’s sake!” Jonathan had begun to fall asleep at her breast. She had to settle for a heated whisper when she longed to storm at him furiously. “Christopher came to see you, to tell you he bought the manor house near Warrenton!”

“So now he will be our neighbor—how convenient for the two of you.”

Now that Jonathan had finished, it appeared there was to be no reprieve. When Alice appeared, Gabriel plucked his son from Cassie’s arms and handed him to his nurse. At the door, he stood and awaited her. Cassie smoothed her skirts and tipped her chin high as he took her arm, knowing she had no choice but to accompany him.

In the hall, she tried to free herself of his hold. His grip on her arm merely tightened.

Only after he’d guided her into her room did he release her. He closed the door and crossed his arms over his chest, then continued as if there’d been nary a pause in their conversation.

“I saw you kiss him, Yank. A touching scene, I must say.”

Cassie drew a deep, jagged breath. “On the cheek, Gabriel…that is all, I swear. It was a kiss meant to comfort—no more!”