Savage Conquest (45 page)

"I have not and do not see you as a whore, Tamaha.
Desire is a powerful force, one which can defeat or
control the strongest person. It would be wrong to let
you believe love and desire are mates."

Something in his tone of voice during his last
statement snared her attention. "I do not understand
the difference between love and desire, Blazing Star.
How can a person desire someone they don't love?"

"You are much too pure in mind and body,
Tamaha, or you could answer your question. For
you, they are the same. For me and others, it is not so.
It does not take love for a hungry body to feed on
another's. If you were not the granddaughter of Sun
Cloud, I would take you this moon, or I would try.
Each time I saw you, I craved you. I did not take you
because I thought you white. When I learned of your
Oglala blood, I could not take you and hurt Sun
Cloud or you. A body that burns with such a fire is
dangerous and hard to master. But to master two
wildfires would be impossible. My cruel words and
actions were to put out your fire for me. If I could
anger you, you would not let me near and your
temptation would be removed. But though I did not
wish to hurt you so deeply, I could not lead you to
think there could be love after such a union. Do you
understand, Tamaha? Your dream does not match
mine," he lied desperately.

She lacked experience and knowledge about men,
but his meaning was clear; he felt passion for her but not love. Even so, he cared enough to spare her
anguish and shame by spurning her. Could she leave
forever without knowing him, without having him?
"You hurt me and angered me, Blazing Star, but you
did not put out the fire within me. I have never
known such feelings for a man. I swear there is
nothing between me and your chief. I cannot return
with you, for the temptation you present is too great.
I would make your words true, for I would coax you
to my mat. I know a real lady wouldn't say such
things, probably not even feel such things; if she did,
she would never confess them aloud. I have been so
confused since I met you. Even that first day, I felt a
powerful pull toward you. Whether it's wrong or
not, I can't help how I feel. But I wouldn't want you.
to think badly of me after I left. So I must remain here
and never see you again. If I had known you were
beyond my life-circle and you were in Grandfather's
camp and teepee, I would never have gone there.
Please find some way to comfort Grandfather; I love
him very much. Would it be too difficult to hold me
and kiss me good-by?"

He was as taken by surprise at her request as she
was to hear herself issue it. She flushed but did not
back down. "I could not promise to stop with a kiss,
Tamaha. I have wanted no female since my eyes
touched upon you. I hunger for you like a starving
man. To touch would cause smoldering embers to
burst into a roaring fire. Such flames could consume
us. You must not tempt me; you must free us from
this forbidden spell. You cannot be my woman."

"Why do you speak of what cannot be? Why can't
you admit to what is there between us? I need to feel
your arms around me, our spirits touching. I need to
sense you share my feelings. I need to understand
why it cannot be for us. I need you, Blazing Star." She
showed all her feelings in those few words. She loved
this man, and she was about to lose him. She had told
Amanda to pursue Reis boldly and brazenly. Should
she not take her own advice? Time was fleeing, and so
was he.

She earnestly offered, "For a short time before we
must part forever, can't we forget everything but us?
Can't we be man and woman, Tamaha and Blazing
Star, for a short span? Must we part as white and
Indian, as Miranda and a Sioux warrior? I swear I
will let you leave when the time comes, but must you
go away like this? Surely no pain can be greater than
never having you?"

"I fear you would not let me leave after we joined,
Tamaha. Once you have known me and our union,
the fires would burn brighter and higher. You do
not know the powers of passion. I do not speak from
pride. I speak from the lights I see in your eyes and
the defiance which I have seen in you. You should
not love me, Tamaha; you cannot have me. I will take
you to Sun Cloud, then ride away."

"Are you so weak and cowardly that you cannot
control your body and mind long enough to give me
a single kiss?"

Blazing Star was aware of her coaxing ploy and
took no offense at her clever taunt. Despite his expertise at concealing his inner emotions, turmoil
was exposed in his gaze. "It takes al l my strength and
courage to master my hunger for you. Do not sway
me, Tamaha. Do not ask for the forbidden."

Miranda knew she was flirting with emotional
peril, challenging Fate. "You say I should not. love
you; but I do. You say I cannot have you; yet I want
you more than life itself. You say I cannot be your
woman; yet, in heart and soul, I belong to you
forever. You say I must free us, but I have no strength
or will to do so. You say I should not tempt you; yet
you have tempted me many times. Even when you
aren't standing before me in temptation, you visit my
dreams and encourage my surrender. You say it
cannot be; yet it is and always will be," she
murmured raggedly as tears slipped down her
cheeks.

"Go, Blazing Star. I'm not holding you prisoner.
Take the wanapin with you; its memories are too
painful to bear. Why did you enter my life-cycle if
you can't become part of it? Why did you keep
appearing to me, imprisoning my heart and soul?
There is no other man to compare with you. I could
never desire and love another after knowing you. You
shouldn't have come after me. It was less cruel to let
me leave in anger. It was so much easier when I
thought you despised me. But knowing you want me
as I . . . " She could not finish, for tears choked off her
words. She turned and walked to the bed and flung
herself face down upon it. She had never imagined
the day when she would be enticing a man to seduce herl The sacrifice of Blazing Star was too much to
endure, and she wept at her loss.

He watched her for a time, then went to sit beside
her. He stroked her silky hair as he pondered what to
do. He stretched out beside her, moving his hand up
and down her back as his dilemma increased. He
encircled her body with his arms and pulled her
against him. "Do not weep, Tamaha. It is as a sharp
lance into my body to see you suffer this way."

She turned her head and locked her gaze with his.
There was no need for words; her eyes said it all. She
rolled to her back, her hand caressing his tanned
cheek. His head came down to seal their lips, to fuse
their destinies into one. Her arms went around his
neck, and they sank entwined to the bed where their
bodies would join in rapture in a dreamy world
shared only by lovers.

When his lips left hers and he leaned away, both
read the passion blazing brightly within the other's
eyes. Right or wrong, dangerous or wise, this
moment could take no other course. When she smiled
up at him, it drove every doubt or restraint from his
mind and body. His mouth returned to hers,
exploring and tasting the sweetness of her response.
He crushed her so tightly in his arms that she could
hardly breathe, but she did not care.

For a long time he held her tenderly, and his gentle
kiss became more savage. He knew this time could
not be rushed, for it would exist only once for them.
His lips touched every inch of her face and throat,
then each hand. His body surged with new life and joy. He could as easily stop the seasons as this
joining.

Never had Miranda known such excitement and
happiness as here in his arms. His warm breath
caused tremors to sweep over her tingly flesh. As his
tongue swirled about in her palm, she shivered with
delight. When he removed her gown, she made no
attempt to halt him. Nor was she embarrassed when
he removed his own garments, dropping them to the
floor upon hers.

His gaze was so loving as he murmured huskily,
"If you wish to say no, Tamaha, now is the last
moment."

She smiled and replied, "There is no such word for
you."

As it should be between lovers, there were no
reservations, no inhibitions; it was right and natural
between them. There was no modesty or shame, only
pure love and its mate, desire. His hands were careful
as they claimed her flesh, roaming her sensitive body
as each area responded instantly to his contact. His
touch was skilled and masterful. Soon, there was no
spot upon her that did not cry out for him to conquer
it and to claim it as his own. Flames licked greedily at
their bodies, enticing him to hasten his leisurely
conquest of her body.

When he bent forward and captured a compelling
breast with his lips, she groaned in pleasure. As his
tongue circled the taut point, she watched with
fascination, wondering how such an action caused
her body ro quiver and warm. Wildly wonderful emotions played havoc with her thinking; it seemed
she could do nothing but surrender to pure sensation. One hand slipped down her flat stomach to
claim another peak, and he teased both simultaneously.

Her hand wandered up his powerful back into the
ebony mane. Each time his mouth left one breast to
feast upon the other, it would protest the loss of
warmth and stimulation. His mouth drifted upward
to fuse with hers. Between kisses, moans escaped her
lips, moans which spoke of her rising passion,
moans which proved all she had said was true.

His own passion straining to be freed, he moved
over her to feel her warm moistness against his
throbbing flesh. Assured she was prepared for his
entrance, he cautiously pushed past the barrier
which eagerly gave way to his loving. Her demanding womanhood surrounded his aching shaft with
exquisite bliss. He was so consumed by desire that he
nearly lost all control, something that had never
happened to him before. He halted all movement to
cool his molten blood. Dazed by heady passion, he
urged her to lie still until his control returned, but
she did not.

She was feverish by now, thrashing her body
against his. As he began to move within her, the
contact was staggering and she cried out softly in
mounting need. Her face was imprisoned between
his hands as he deftly savored it with his lips. His
hips worked swiftly and skillfully as he increased her
great need. She heatedly yielded her body to his loving assault, seeking the pleasures and contentment only he could provide.

He dared not free her mouth as he felt her body
tense and shudder with her release, muffling the cry
of ecstasy which would have alerted anyone nearby.
A sense of intoxicating power surged through him
just before his own stunning release came forth. He
was so shaken by their potent joining and enchanted
by her magic, that he almost shouted his victory
aloud. He moved rhythmically until the urgency had
fled and they were curled together peacefully.

He held her in his arms as he lay on his side. When
his respiration returned to normal, he twisted his
head to gaze over at her. Sensing his movement, she
shifted her eyes to meet his probing gaze. They
exchanged smiles, then hugged tightly. There was
such an immense sharing of love and joy. She lay her
face on his damp chest and snuggled closer to him.
He kissed her forehead and sighed tranquilly. It was
not the time for speaking; it was a time for touching
and feeling, which they did until she was fast asleep
with her arm lying across his chest.

Blazing Star knew his time was gone and he must
leave. How he longed to stay at her side, laughing
and talking and making love for hours. He looked at
her, memorizing each feature. He whispered too
quietly to disturb her, "If it is the will of the Great
Spirit, we will meet again. If we do not, love for you
will live forever in my heart and desire in my body,
Tamaha."

The valiant warrior recalled what she had said about painful farewells. She was right. It was easier
to leave while she slept, while those lovely eyes of
golden brown could not tempt him to stay or to take
her along, while those sweet lips as soft as the petals
of a pasqueflower could not tease him so he would
forget to leave before dawn, while her clever tongue
could not plead or argue against their necessary
parting.

He arose carefully so as not to awaken her. He
slipped into his clothes, cursing the war which was
tearing them apart, which would always separate
them. She snuggled into the warm spot he had left
beside her, inhaling the musky odor from his sated
body, stirring his soul to joyful song. He watched a
serene smile which flickered briefly on those lips. His
dark eyes traveled over her bare flesh, sparking new
fires within him, fires which had no time to burn. He
must leave quickly!

His gaze fell on the wanapin, and he vividly
envisioned those two episodes which had supplied
the rattler-rings and the grizzly claw. He placed it on
her pillow, for she was resting on his. He hunkered
down beside the bed, staring into her face. There was
so much he wanted to share with her, so much to tell
her and so much to hear, so much to enjoy; but he
could not. Where she was concerned, there was no
difference between love and desire within him. But
he dared not confess that tc her. More than anything,
he wanted to lie down beside her, to make love to her
again, to hear her laughter, to see her smile, to hold
her tightly, to run his hands over her skin, to spew his seed within her and to let it grow into proof of their
love. He wanted to walk beside her beneath the sun in
the cool forest, holding her hand, listening to her
giggles as the grass tickled her bare feet. He wanted
her pressed against his body every moon. It was too
late to linger, too late for her to become his wife, but
not too late to dream and to suffer for what could not
be.