Savage Spirit (35 page)

Lost Wind stared up at him for a moment longer, then a slow smile quavered across her lips. "The white woman you think you know so well?" she said mockingly. "She will not want to raise a child that is not her own. She will not have milk in her breasts to offer the child should she agree to mother him. What then, mighty Apache chief? What then?"

"She will take a child that is born of my seed, no matter the color of the skin," Cloud Eagle hissed back. "And as for milk, there are plenty of women in our stronghold who will willingly share their breast with the child of their chief!"

"The child will never be yours," Lost Wind said, her eyes narrowing into his. "Running Free will come for me. He will steal me away. He has cause to. He has lain with me between blankets. He has tasted my lips. He will return for me."   "I have lain with you and I have tasted your lips, yet did I not send you away?" Cloud Eagle said. "You are beautiful, and I could have loved you forever. But you are incapable of being the woman a man cares to have around. Did you not see how quickly Running Free gave you up to me? Does not that tell you something?"

Lost Wind's eyes wavered. Then she looked with hate up at Cloud Eagle. "I will forever hate you," she spat out. "And I
will
give the child to you willingly. I do not want anything ever to remind me of you once I am set free from your bondage."

"No matter how hard you try, you will never be free of Cloud Eagle," he said solemnly. "Wherever you are, whoever you are with, you will always remember the man who gave you everything, only for you to lose it."

He brushed the rocks that surrounded the campfire into it, then smoothed dirt onto the flame, extinguishing it.

When he saw Lost Wind turn and run, he was quickly there, again stopping her.

"Why do you waste your time running?" he said, his fingers clutched onto her shoulders. "Just give in to what fate has handed you. Time will pass more quickly for you."

Sullenly, she walked beside him to his horse. When he lifted her into the saddle and his hands brushed against the swell of her abdomen, he could not help but feel proud.

Now he had to share the news with his
Ish-kay-nay
. That filled him with concern. The fact that he was bringing Lost Wind back to the stronghold had been hard enough for his woman to accept.

That Lost Wind was with child,
Cloud Eagle's
  child, was another thing, another reason for concern!

If Alicia could not accept the child, then he would be forced to choose!

His child?

Or his
Ish-kay-nay?
 

The Apache stronghold was quiet. No one stirred as Cloud Eagle arrived with Lost Wind. With his arm locked around her waist, he rode at a slow lope toward the corral. The glow of the moon revealed many new lodges spread across the land, some that were only poles in their half-built state.

Beneath those poles lay Apache families who were starting life anew since everything had been taken from them during the raid.

But Cloud Eagle knew that their pride was still intact. In the end, when they met their maker face to face, that was what mattered.

Cloud Eagle shifted his gaze to his own lodge, which had not been destroyed by the blue-coated soldiers. Within it a fire still burned. It cast a dancing light along the inside walls of the tepee, soft and alluring.

A stinging despair grabbed at Cloud Eagle's   heart. He wished that he had only to go to his lodge and take his woman into his arms. But there were obstacles that made him feel as though he had a high wall to climb before he could ever be with his woman again in the way that he wanted.

Her brother lay in the lodge on the pallet of furs that had cradled Cloud Eagle and his
Ish-kay-nay
while they had made love.

There was also Lost Wind. Her presence in the stronghold might cause his
Ish-kay-nay
to leave with her brother and never return. He was afraid that Alicia might not accept a pregnant Lost Wind, a woman who would bear a child for Cloud Eagle.

He lifted his eyes to the stars, the moon, and the heavens, and whispered a soft prayer to himself that Alicia would understand this that he had to do. If she forced him to choose between her and the child, he was not sure how he could give up either!

''And so you have returned me to our people," Lost Wind said, drawing him from his troubled thoughts. She turned spiteful eyes to Cloud Eagle.

"Will you take me between your blankets and leave the white woman out in the cold?" she said sarcastically. "Or will you share your blankets with both of us? Who will you draw next to your body? Who will you caress?"

Cloud Eagle gazed down at her. In the moonlight, her loveliness was something that would make any man's loins heat up to an inferno.

But for him her cool beauty only caused a silent fury to creep through his veins. She was nothing but an interference in his life. If not for the child   that she carried within the cocoon of her womb, he would be tempted to take her out into the middle of the desert and abandon her!

As it was, he could see ahead for himself many sunrises and sunsets of verbal altercations with her, and he dreaded it. And he knew that she would not hesitate to torment his
Ish-kay-nay
.

He had to find a way to keep this from happening.

A smile fluttered across his lips. He knew the perfect solution to his problem.

Cloud Eagle would take Lost Wind into Turtle Crawls' lodge. His wife was a willful, outspoken person herself and would know how to keep Lost Wind in her rightful place.

If Lost Wind spoke in a spiteful tongue to Purple Blossom, Purple Blossom would return it twofold.

And Turtle Crawls was the perfect warrior to ask to guard Lost Wind. Not only because he would not hesitate to obey his chief, but because Turtle Crawls had had his own experiences with Lost Wind. He had seen her for her spiteful self long before Cloud Eagle had discovered her true personality.

Turtle Crawls had had many private liaisons with Lost Wind before Cloud Eagle's eyes had been drawn to her. When Cloud Eagle chose her for a wife, Turtle Crawls had kept silent about having discarded her himself because of her spiteful tongue.

He had not wished to show disrespect toward his chief by telling anything that might embarrass him because of his wrongful choice in women.

Only after Lost Wind had been sent away had Turtle Crawls confessed all of this to Cloud Eagle.   Cloud Eagle had listened, then they had both had a laugh about two warriors whose hearts had been blinded to the truth about the same woman. It was something they could share in private while smokingtheir tales of a woman whose beauty made the loveliness of stars dim in comparison, but whose flashing eyes and quick tongue made her uglier than a snake!

"You do not answer me. Is that because you stare at me? You see my loveliness?" Lost Wind taunted. "Does it steal your breath away as it did when you first courted me? Do I make your white woman look ugly in your eyes? Why not send her away? You no longer need her. You will finally have your child. This child comes from the womb of Lost Wind, not the one you call your
Ish-kay-nay
."

"You are there, and yes I see you, yet I see you not," Cloud Eagle said, drawing a tight rein beside the corral. "When I look your way, all that I see is the child. Now speak no more of my woman who will soon be my wife and who will be the mother of all future children born to this Apache chief. Stay away from her. Do not say spiteful things to her. If you do, your mouth will be sealed closed. The buckskin gag will be removed only when you eat and drink." He leaned his face closer to hers. "Do you understand?"

Lost Wind looked blankly up at him for a moment longer, then turned her eyes quickly away.

Cloud Eagle did not feel proud to treat a woman in such a way, especially a woman whom he had once had strong feelings for.

But she deserved no better treatment. She had   earned every bit of his antagonism. She was blood kin to the shrew, for sure.

And the sooner the next months passed, the better for everyone. He would then take her to a neighboring Apache stronghold and ask pity of them to take her in and see to her needs. Perhaps some warrior might enjoy a woman of her personality. He might see her as a challenge to be overcome.

As for himself, he had enjoyed conquering less troublesome foes! He would leave her for those who had more time for trivial pursuits.

Those types of pursuits were not for a powerful chief!

He slid from the saddle and gave the reins to the warrior who stood guard over the horses tonight. He ignored the wonder in Brown Bison's eyes as his warrior gaped openly at Lost Wind. Instead he lifted her from the saddle and led her away with a firm grip on her elbow.

"And how do you think your white woman will receive this pregnant Apache wife?" Lost Wind said, smiling wickedly up at Cloud Eagle. "Did you not see the surprise in Brown Bison's eyes?" She placed her free hand on her stomach and slowly stroked the tiny ball through the buckskin fabric of her skirt. "How good it will be to see the white woman's horror at seeing me with child, knowing that it is yours."

She winced and cried out when Cloud Eagle grabbed her wrists and swung her around to face him. He gripped her tightly and drew her so close that when he spoke, his breath was hot on her face.

"Listen this last time to what I say, spiteful woman," Cloud Eagle hissed from between   clenched teeth. "Never refer to yourself again as my wife. Never flaunt your pregnancy in front of my
true
love. You will wear a loose dress so that no one, especially my woman, can stare at my disgrace."

"Your disgrace?" Lost Wind said, gasping. "If this child is your disgrace, why then do you lay claim to it? Why do you not let me go to Running Free so that I can be his woman? He wants me."

"He would soon learn how to despise you as much as I," Cloud Eagle said, then yanked her even closer. "And hear me well when I say this only once to you. The child is not a disgrace to me. The woman who is carrying it is."

Lost Wind's lips pursed tightly as she glared up at him, then her expression softened. "Should I have been sweeter, and should I have guarded my tongue well, would you have loved me still, Cloud Eagle?" she asked, her eyes searching his.

"Perhaps," he said, then swung her away from him and led her on into the village. He paused and looked from his lodge to Turtle Crawls', wondering which he should go to first. If he could, he would hide Lost Wind from Alicia's eyes forever!

But he knew that was not possible. She must be the first to be told of the child. If she heard it from someone else, he could lose her and her trust.

Determination in his steps, he forced Lost Wind toward his lodge. He paused for only one moment to catch his breath before entering, then shoved Lost Wind inside the tepee, following quickly behind her.

Inside, in the light of the lodge fire, Lost Wind   stood in front of him so that Cloud Eagle was not aware of what she was doing.

But Alicia saw quite distinctly how Lost Wind pulled her dress tightly across her abdomen, and what she was revealing to her.

Dressed in a loose and flowing buckskin robe, Alicia scrambled to her feet, aghast to learn that Lost Wind was pregnant. Wide-eyed, her heart feeling as though it had sunk to her feet, Alicia slowly backed away from Lost Wind and Cloud Eagle. Her brother, awake now, silently witnessed everything.

Cloud Eagle saw Alicia's reaction and did not see it as a natural one. Alicia had known that he was going for Lost Wind. She had been given much time, in his absence, to prepare herself for Lost Wind's arrival.

It was hard, then, for him to understand why she was acting so mortified at the sight of Lost Wind. It made no sense, unless . . .

He stepped quickly around Lost Wind, and his jaw tightened when he discovered what Lost Wind was doing. She was defying all that he had warned her against. She was purposely flaunting her pregnancy to Alicia.

Never in his lifetime had Cloud Eagle hit a woman. But at this moment, he had to hold himself back to keep from slapping Lost Wind. He reached deeply within himself for the willpower to get him through these next moments without harming Lost Wind.

He clasped his fingers into tight fists at his sides, then turned his back to Lost Wind and went to Alicia.

Gently gripping her shoulders, he stopped her from stepping away from him any farther.   He gazed lovingly down at her, his dark eyes imploring her.

"She is with child?" Alicia said, her voice trembling and soft with despair. "It is your child?"

"The child will be
ours, Ish-kay-nay
," Cloud Eagle said, forcing his voice not to break with emotion. "We will raise it as our own with the other children who will be born of our union."

"No," Alicia choked out. She turned her eyes from him. "I can't."

He framed her face between his hands and directed her eyes into his again. "You must," he said. "Or we will be forced to say a final farewell."

He paused, then said, "Is that what you want,
Ish-kay-nay?
To say farewell to all that we have known between us and shall have in the future? A small child would stand in the way of such happiness that we know between us?"

"Not a child," Alicia said, gazing over his shoulder at Lost Wind. "
Her
, Cloud Eagle. The child's mother." Her eyes wavered into his. "Don't you see? She will always be there in our thoughts if the child is a part of our lives. And . . . and how can you separate a child from its mother? That would be cruel."

"Do you not see it as cruel that this woman was never going to reveal to me that she carried my child?" Cloud Eagle said, his voice drawn. "Had I not had pity on her and gone to find her, never would I have known that I had impregnated this woman. She lost her right to the child the moment she chose to deceive its father."

Alicia slowly shook her head back and forth. "I don't know," she murmured. "I just don't think I can accept this. I despise Lost Wind, yet I cannot   see taking her child from her."

"You would rather Lost Wind stayed among our people and shared motherhood with you?" Cloud Eagle asked.