Save My Soul (27 page)

"I'm sorry, Adam. I'm just trying to
figure this out. I won't bring it up again. Can we still have a
good night?"

He pulled back and blew a big gush of
air out through his lips. He wasn't looking at me, but I hadn't
expected him to. He pursed his lips and nodded. "Yeah…we can have a
good night." I regretted ever bring it up, and I would give
anything to wipe that sad look off his face.

We arrived at The Villa. I'd suffered
most of the ride in silence. Adam didn't look angry anymore, but I
could still see the sadness in his features. It looked like he was
finally realizing that he might not be able to save me when the
time came. I hated that I'd even brought it up, because I didn't
know how to make him smile again. I didn't know what to say to make
things better between us.

We got right in, but I wasn't
surprised, Friday and Saturday nights were the busiest nights for
The Villa, and it was only Thursday. The hostess seated us, then
Adam ordered my favorite White Zen.

He surprised me when he spoke, but any
conversation was good conversation right now. "Do you have any
siblings?"

I nodded. "Haley is thirty-three.
She's married to Mike Lebrowski. He's an architect here in town and
he's considered to be one of the best. They have two children,
Shelby and Brenden." His facial features relaxed a bit.
Good.

"I know Mike. One of his employees
took a nasty fall last year. Mike was at the trauma center with him
the whole time. He's a good guy." I wanted to say that he'd said
the same thing about Mason, but I didn't. I knew Mike was a good
guy.

"Yeah, he is. He treats my sister and
those kids like they're his whole world," I said, then took my
glass of wine from the waitress. I ordered the lasagna with meat
sauce, and fettuccini alfredo. Adam ordered the same. I didn't know
if that was what he would have ordered if I hadn't gone first. If
we ate anywhere else before I died, I would insist he order first.
I shook my head. I didn't know why I was fixated on the
coincidences in our tastes and preferences, but I just thought it
was neat that we did everything the same way.

"That's how I feel about you. You are
my world now, Kendra. I know how Mike feels and I can relate to
that," he said then took a sip of wine.

If anyone had said that to me only a
week ago, I would have bolted from the room. But sitting across the
table from Adam, I found that I could relate to that as well. Adam
was my world now, and that made me happy; I wanted to make him
happy.

We got our meals, but we were actually
doing more talking than eating. He wanted to know all about
photography and my life. I could talk about photography, but when
it came to talking about me, I drew a blank. Have you ever tried
talking about yourself? He asked a few questions and we fell into a
natural conversation.

I asked him about the worst cases he'd
encountered in surgery. His eyes lit up as he spoke about some of
them. I realized he actually loved what he did. It was a good thing
I didn't have a weak stomach, because he didn't spare any of the
bloody details.

When I talked, I noticed that he
looked at me with a sort of fascination. I had succeeded in wiping
that sad look off his face. Hal-le-lu-jah.

"Can you try to avoid
making him sad again? His thoughts are really dispirited when he's
like that. It's easier for Murry to gain control of him that
way,"
Rhyan said, and I smiled.

"I won't bring it up again.
You knew I had to learn my lesson the hard way,"

When Adam asked for the check I got
nervous again. I closed my eyes as my stomach did a little
roll.

"Cheer up, Kendra. If your
dad kills you, it means you get to come to heaven with me."
I laughed, despite the nervous bugs in my
tummy.

Adam raised an eyebrow at me. "I miss
something?"

I shook my head. "Rhyan was trying to
help by making me less nervous about you meeting my
parents."

His other eyebrow went up and did a
high-five with the one that was already raised. "And how does Rhyan
feel about me proposing?" Adam's head shot up instantly, like he
was listening to something in his head, and was surprised to hear
it. I saw him nod then shake his head like he was clearing his
mind.

He wasn't upset so I asked. "What did
he say?"

He shook his head and laughed lightly.
"It freaks me out when he does that." He cleared his throat. "He
said, as long as I'm treating you right and keeping you happy, he's
fine with it," he frowned. "Does he do that to you all the
time?"

I rolled my eyes and nodded. "All the
time."

"Awe, Kendra, you act as if
you don't like my company."

I laughed.
"You know I do. I was only trying to keep Adam
from getting jealous."

"Understood,"
he said, then he was silent after
that.

Adam was still frowning when he stood
up, but he didn't say anything more about Rhyan talking to me. I
was sure it bothered him because he had seen, with his own eyes,
Rhyan and I going at it all hot and heavy. I assumed he and Murry
left before Rhyan got the good news that we weren't allowed to
touch each other. Would telling him that we didn't have sex make
him feel better, or would he think I was lying to him?

"I already told him that
we didn't have sex, Kendra. Let it go."
I
nodded, then stood when Adam offered me his hand.

I was physically shaking when we got
in the car. He looked at me with concern in his brown eyes. I did
notice that they were a whole lot lighter than they had been only
this morning. They were sort of a caramel color and very beautiful.
He took my wrist in his hand and checked my pulse. "Are you going
to be sick? I won't make you do this if it's not what you want to
do."

"I'll be fine." I had a thought. "What
if you meet my family a few times before you ask to marry me, let
them get to know you first? I know they will love you, and my mom
would be ecstatic with you asking permission tonight. She wants me
married with children so bad she can hardly see straight. My sister
will think I'm jumping into things and that our marriage won't
last. My dad…my dad is another story all together. He doesn't care
if I ever get married. He isn't against it, but he thinks I should
be with Aven. He hasn't ever said it outright, but I know how close
the two of them are. Aven goes fishing and hunting with my dad,
they talk cars and baseball. It will take a while to convince him
that you're the right man for me. That won't happen tonight; I can
promise you that."

Adam sighed as he started the engine.
"All right, I'll only introduce myself tonight." He looked at me
and I was smiling at him. "Do you feel better?"

"Much better."

When we pulled up at my parent's
house, my heart jumped up in my throat. "Adam, I think we need to
do this some other time."

The car came to a stop in front of the
house and he turned and looked at me. "What's wrong now?" he asked,
with confusion written all over that beautiful face of
his.

I couldn't think of a good enough lie
to tell him so I huffed and settled for the truth. "Aven is
here."

He shrugged. "So…I never got a chance
to thank him for getting me out of that cave."

How did I explain this to him? "Aven
was to me like Sherri was to you. We have been seeing each other
intimately for a little over a year now, but it was casual, nothing
serious." I took a breath. "It was Aven who called me Monday when
you were at my house. He wanted to make things more than casual
with me. When I almost died the other day, it made him realize that
he wanted us to be more than friends with benefits."

Adam closed his eyes and rubbed his
temples with his fingers. He looked at me and shook his head. "You
want to hide our relationship?"

I thought about it a moment. I didn't
want to. I wanted to let the whole world know that I was in love
with the man beside me, but a little at a time. I wasn't sure how
two very important people in my life would react. If I didn't do it
tonight, and I died tomorrow, then I wouldn't have to do it at all.
I'm a coward, I know.

I looked at him. He had told Sherri
that he was in love with me, and I had told him that I would do
anything for him. Yet, here he sat, looking like he was being
rejected, like I was too embarrassed to introduce him to my family,
like he wasn't good enough for me. "No, we can do this now. I'm
acting like a coward, and I'm sorry for that."

He smiled a little. "A coward is
someone who runs from a challenge, Kendra. You are far from being a
coward."

If he only knew how bad I wanted to
run that moment, he wouldn't think so highly of me. He pulled in
the drive and cut off the engine. I could see there was a ball game
on my parent's big screen through the picture window. I'd grown up
in that house and could remember very clearly breaking that window
with a baseball when I was ten. It was the same year that Adam lost
his whole family. Back then, I didn't even know Adam and was only
worried that my dad would be mad when he saw that broken window. He
hadn't been angry. I sighed and got out of the car.

Adam took my hand and led me to the
door. I was shaking again, and he squeezed my hand for reassurance.
I gave him my best fake smile then walked in the door.

"Mom?" I shouted.

"In here, honey!" she shouted from the
kitchen. I glanced in the living room. My dad and Aven were
watching a baseball game on T.V. It was probably a rerun, or we
were losing, because they weren't all excited like they usually
were when a game was on. Aven looked back at me with a grim look
then glanced at Adam. His expression didn't change before he looked
back at the screen. I sighed and walked to the kitchen where my
mother was.

She met me with a big hug then looked
at Adam. Her face lit up like a Christmas tree. "Oh…" She glanced
back at me, her face about to split in two with extreme
happiness.

"Mama, this is Adam Chamberlain. He's
the surgeon who saved my life a week ago." I looked at Adam. "This
is my mother, Diane Larkin."

He shook her hand with a genuine smile
on his face. "It's very nice to meet you, Mrs. Larkin."

She was flustered, and I could tell
instantly that she liked him. "Oh, call me Diane. Kendra hasn't
ever brought anyone home to meet us before. I was beginning to
think she was embarrassed by us."

"No, only dad," I said as I munched on
one of the chocolate chip cookies my mother had just taken from the
oven. She smiled.

"Well, I'm very happy she decided to
bring you to meet us," she looked at me a little nervously. "Your
dad and Aven are in the living room. Shall we introduce
Adam?"

I knew what she was thinking. I think
my mother suspected Aven's feelings for me long before I had. Why
hadn't anyone told me? I nodded. "If we must."

We passed Aven in the hallway. He was
going to the kitchen to get my dad and himself another beer, no
doubt. He gave me a cold look but I ignored it and walked into the
living room.

"Dad."

"You sorry son of a bitch! I could
have hit that damn ball, and I'm half blind," my dad said to the
t.v.

I rolled my eyes. "Daddy," I said a
little louder and he looked around at me, startled. Then he caught
sight of Adam.

He got to his feet and extended his
hand. "I'm sorry," he said as he shook Adam's hand. "You check out
fine at the hospital the other day?"

Adam nodded and smiled at my father.
"Everything was fine." He looked around as Aven walked back into
the room. "I'd like to thank you both for getting me out of that
cave."

Aven handed the second beer to my dad,
then went to the couch and sat down. He spoke to Adam without
looking at him. "Kendra was the one who said you were in a cave.
You should be thanking her."

"I have," Adam said.

Aven mumbled something, and it sounded
a whole lot like, "I'm sure you have."

"This was a bad idea, Adam. Can we go
now?" I said.

He looked back at Aven where he was
planted on the couch ignoring us. "No…no, I think Aven here has
something he needs to get off his chest. Am I right,
Aven?"

Aven tensed then looked back at Adam
with fury in his eyes. Oh God, please don't let them fight. Aven
was notorious for starting shit, and my dad had seemed friendly
enough, but I didn't know whose side he would take.

Aven picked up a cup and spit in it.
He'd been dipping since we were in Junior High. It was a nasty
habit, but it was his nasty habit, not mine, so I left it alone. He
was just never allowed to kiss me until he'd brushed his teeth. He
glanced at me. "Do you have time to talk to me now?"

I so did not want to do this tonight,
but if talking to him would keep him from fighting with Adam, then
I was all for it. "Sure, why not?" I looked at Adam. "Will you be
all right for a few minutes?" he nodded, and I looked at my dad.
"Try not to scare him too bad, will ya, Dad?"