Saved by His Submissive (6 page)

He watched her breath hitch once, then speed up into a wild gallop beneath her trembling breasts. “I love you,” she said again. “I need you. Please, Ga—”

“Hush.” It left him on a monotone, which was an odd contrast to his curt, commanding actions. The second she got the panties free, he pushed back one leg then the other, letting out a hungry rumble at the sight of her spread and glistening pussy. When he reached and plunged two fingers into her quivering entrance, Sage screamed and then, remarkably, laughed.

“Oh, Garrett! God, yes!”

He lunged over her then, drilling a stare of dark intent into her. Laughing wasn’t part of this. She’d laughed the night before she’d left him. She’d laughed as she’d orgasmed that night, drowning him in her joy and her love and her beauty…right before she’d left him. She’d laughed, filling the condo with it so that the memories of it haunted him for that horrid, dismal week before he was able to get back into the mission rotation on the squad. No. Laughing wouldn’t be a part of things tonight.

“I said
hush.
”

That was when he flipped her over and brought his hand down on her ass in a resounding
smack.

Chapter Four

Wow.

Sage blinked, unsure if she’d actually just experienced…well…
that.
Had he really just spanked her? Had he really just done it as the back-up to an
order
he’d given her?

If she were honest, it wasn’t outside the realm of possibility. Garrett had burst into her life by defending her honor, fists first, at Opal’s Tavern on that unforgettable June night. He’d sealed the deal just three weeks later, making her body feel like the meteor shower overhead, over and over again. Joe and Hannah Hawkins might as well have given their son the middle name of Firestorm instead of Flynn.

So yeah, it didn’t take a rocket scientist to put the man’s intensity together with all the newer things she’d seen in him over the last four hours. Cobalt smoke hovered at the corners of his gaze, which had once been the pure blue of a summer sky. Tense lines now embedded themselves at the corners of his mouth. Nothing casual remained in how he moved. Every action was sharp, full of purpose and battle-honed balance.

Sage had noticed it all, and understood. She’d seen it all, and accepted it. His grief for her had gouged a chunk of his soul. He hadn’t filled that hole with anything easy or forgiving, especially for himself.

Now they were just dealing with a few readjustment issues.

To the tune of two more sharp slaps on her backside.

They hurt. Oh damn, how they hurt. For a second, she thought about breaking free and scrambling away. But the next second, something deep inside her body was startled awake. Something illicit, decadent, and until this moment, very secret. She’d thought these dark desires had been banished from her body, long-forgotten before the year in Botswana, and certainly long before she’d met Garrett. For a few brief months, during those carefree months right before boot camp, she let the fantasies romp free in her imagination, playing there with illicit fantasies of letting a man bind her, control her, use her solely for his pleasure. But beyond getting her hands on a good vibrator and a few mouth-watering novels, she’d never done anything about them…

Certainly nothing like this.

And ohhhh, how this felt…exhilarating. Heart-stopping. Like she was alive again. Like she was desired again.

Again. Please do it again.

Oh, God! Okay, her logic was still around here somewhere, right? Clearly, they needed to talk about this, to figure it out, to set up some—what did the novels call them?—limits. Right. Limits were good to discuss when a guy decided to pull down your panties, flip you over then smack his palm on your bare ass.

But she didn’t move. She didn’t make a sound. That shadowy instinct coaxed her to stay motionless, full of trepidation and anticipation, despite this new wilderness of emotional ground for them. It had been a long year for him, too—and eagerness filled her to know more about these new parts of the man who’d snatched her from the jungle, who’d brought her back to life. She wanted to know it all…especially now.

She breathed deep. Again. She waited, listening to Garrett’s rough exhalations above her. The husky releases were choppy, hesitant…distant. Though the heat of his massive body still hovered over her, she shivered as if he’d left the room.

She continued waiting. It was one of the hardest things she’d done. His silence tormented her. His grip tightened around her wrists. With his other hand, he claimed her spine from nape to ass with a possessive, clawing sweep. A deep moan stole its way up her throat.

“Ssshhh.”

He followed the track of his hand with his mouth, nipping her in tiny but savage bites. Her moan pitched into a little yelp.

“Ssshhh.”

He dipped his touch between her thighs. With just a small grunt of warning, he pinched her sensitive folds.

 “Ohhhh!”

He didn’t shush her this time. With one deft move, he turned her over again. Without skipping a beat, he flattened his hand into a paddle and swatted what he’d just pinched.

Wow.
And
whoa.

“Garrett! What the—
shit!
”

Her exclamation coincided with the discipline he kept delivering to her mound. Shock ripped through her. And on its heels, self-reprimand. She was just the one asking for more, right? For the chance to finally let her wicked desires flare into delicious flames? Had she meant it, even if her imagination never included this?

Her mind had a tougher time answering that when her body weighed in on the issue. Every nerve ending sizzled like exposed electric lines. The most intense heat came right from the tissues he’d enflamed. Her pussy pulsed with awareness, and her entire vagina trembled and dripped anew. It stole her breath, spiraled her senses, pulled out her deepest sighs. Every swat Garrett gave seemed to unlock something inside her, something amazing. The ugly pain of the last year got slowly replaced by an exquisite pain that set her senses free, that told her body it was all right to feel this way again.

She sighed with the sheer radiance of it, raising her hips, silently begging him for more. She opened her eyes, needing to watch him as he did this, needing to know that this was really what he wanted too…

She blinked in surprise. The view wasn’t what she expected. Garrett’s teeth were locked beneath his slightly-parted lips. His jaw was granite hard, and his gaze was the same color and texture. Nothing about him conveyed pleasure or joy. It almost looked like—

Like he wasn’t enjoying this at all.

“Garrett?”

Damn, she wished she could touch him. She needed to soothe the hard lines from his face, to feel his pulse, to try and understand where his thoughts hovered. But she could only watch in mute frustration as his gaze roamed the length of her body again, his expression still impenetrable.

A strange emotion drenched her. She didn’t recognize it at first, but the truth set in, shitty and awful. She was ashamed. Drowning in the stuff. Her body didn’t have the soft, womanly physique Garrett had adored. Her arms and legs were defined by the muscles she’d been utilizing nonstop for a year, but other parts of her were skeletal. Her breasts were at least two cup sizes smaller. Her hip and collar bones jutted from her skin. Her hair had thinned, even her fingernails were brittle. The erection that jutted from Garrett’s fly was for the body he
thought
he’d be getting again: the curves and skin of the woman he’d claimed beneath the stars two years ago.

That woman didn’t exist anymore. Not physically, certainly not mentally. The only thing she remained sure of was her heart—and its love for a man who now stared at her like a pathetic charity case.

Sage gulped. Damn it, she’d sworn she wouldn’t cry again. She’d shed enough tears on him during the journey back here, and again during her epic-length shower, to have used up her allotment for the next two months. But the stinging bastards came anyway, dumping out her eyes, tracking down her cheeks. Like an idiot, she didn’t hide them from Garrett, either. Sure, because her blubbering was going to magically flip his desire switch again, right?

To make matters worse, she sniffed with the grace of an elephant. She longed to roll the hell back over—until, for one beautiful moment, Garrett looked at her again. Really looked. Her breath hitched. Her stomach somersaulted in a familiar way. A tentative smile tempted her lips. For that amazing moment, he was back. He was hers. The brilliant blue of his eyes swept her away to days of laughter, warmth, sun and love.

He blinked—and just like that, the dark smoke returned to his stare. He was lost again behind a curtain of the stuff, his features coated again in anger, vacillation, and confusion, before he released her with a rough grunt.

“I can’t do this.” He dropped his head, as if the action were helping him make a choice, before he bolted from the bed. “I—I’m sorry. I can’t.”

“It’s all right.” Sage hiked onto her elbows, watching him pace the room as if looking for something. “Maybe we can just talk about—”

“No.” He stuffed himself back into his pants then zipped up. “No talking. Not about this.”

She shook her head. This felt like he’d given her a book with the middle fifty pages ripped out. “Not about
what
?”

“Sage.” He came back over, sitting next to her again. Though the smoke still clung to his eyes, Sage felt the pressure broiling in him. In the lines embedded at his temples and around his mouth, she saw the pain of unshared memories, the tension of unspoken words. “I’m messed up, okay?”

“Sure.” She reached for his hand, wrapping his long warm fingers into hers again. “Welcome to the club. You don’t think there’s going to be a few things for us to hash out now, on both sides of this? Fine. Let’s get started.”

The strain in his features got tighter. His stare combed over her face from top to bottom, again giving her a split second of pure magic, before he went dove back behind that wretched smokescreen. “You didn’t sign up for
this
mess, baby.”

“The hell I didn’t! Damn it, Garrett. I took that engagement ring from you. That was the day I agreed to all your sloppy shit, too. Don’t give me this crap.” She gripped his hand tighter. “Let. Me. In.” 

He expelled a heavy breath before pulling her knuckles to his lips. Sage winced. His Prince Charming move would’ve had her crawling over into his lap, if she didn’t see that dark haze of control dominating every corner of his gaze, infiltrating every taut muscle of his posture. Oh, yeah. She was still locked out.

She could almost dictate what he was going to say next.

“I’ll be back soon.”

He set down her hands.

He turned and covered the space to the door in two strides. He shoved into his boots without lacing up. Before Sage could find the strength to scream at him, he’d slipped out. His heavy steps echoed heavily in the hall for fading completely.

The room went cold. And airless. And unbearable.

She forced herself to move. “Come
on,
” she whispered furiously. “You’ve done this before. You’ve taken steps when you didn’t think you could. You’ve moved when you thought it was impossible.”

That was because you always thought of Garrett in order to do it.

Ignoring the desperate cry in her throat, she reached for his T-shirt again. With shaky fingers, she pulled it over her head. The damn thing was inside out, but she didn’t care. She picked up the grungy capris she’d been wearing when they got here, and forced her trembling legs into them.

Keep moving. Just do it.

She couldn’t stay in this room. Not with his scent lingering in the air, with the sheets beneath her still warm where they’d laid together, maybe for the last time.
Probably
for the last time?

She needed air. Space. Sanity. A lobotomy.

On unsteady steps, she made her way out into the hall. But she hesitated outside the door. Where the hell did she go?
Could she go
? They were in the personal residence wing of the embassy, so sounds reverberated at her much like a hotel. Pots clanked in a kitchen. A vacuum cleaner revved down a distant hall. A couple of women chatted excitedly at each other in Thai. A group of kids bounced around a ball of some sort. Life was going on, but the concept seemed unreal.  She stood in place, wondering where she fit into it all now…realizing that the picture felt all wrong without Garrett in it.

He would come back. Of course he would. He was
Garrett.
He always came back.

They were assurances based on a man she knew a year ago.

She folded her arms in, trying to gain warmth from the assurance, but she couldn’t stop shivering.

A breeze kicked down the hallway, carrying the smells of plumeria, coconut, orchids, and pad thai. She turned that direction and walked out onto a veranda that overlooked a sunken courtyard. The area was like something out of an exotic movie. Flowers in bright pots opened up to the early morning light. In the center of the courtyard, large copper dragons overlooked a small lawn where red and yellow birds hopped. Somebody hummed a soft tune. The wind stirred again, promising a balmy and perfect day.