Saved by the Music (Saints & Sinners Book 2) (10 page)

“These new songs are fucking awesome.”

Sam leaned back on the leather sofa and smiled at Jarrod’s reaction to the new material, feeling a weight lifted from his shoulders. “I feel like we’ve got some good stuff for the new album.”

“Hell yeah, we do. So, how are you and Ashlee getting along?”

He should’ve known they were going to have this conversation. It was payback for all the times he crawled all over Jarrod’s ass when it came to Trish, and there was no escaping it.

“We’re going to go there, really?”

Jarrod laughed at him and fuck, he couldn’t be mad at the man for trying to get info out of him.

He had never allowed a woman so deep before. Sure, Ashlee was theoretically in his life for work, but anyone with a pair of eyes could see their relationship went much further than that. “Fuck yes, we are. I’ve never seen you look at a woman like you look at her, so yeah, we’re going there.”

“She’s so fucking out of my league, man.” He wasn’t just saying that to blow smoke. Ashlee wasn’t like any other woman he’d ever met. She was elegant yet down-to-earth, with a heart of gold. There was something so pure and true about her that he had no business tainting with his own shit.

“That’s bullshit, and you know it. She’s smart, funny, charismatic, compassionate, devoted, and passionate, all qualities you have, so don’t give me any bullshit about her being out of your league.” Jarrod rarely got angry, but Sam felt like his best friend was about to start blowing smoke out of his ears.

“Everything is just so fucked up right now, man. My dad’s parole hearing is coming up, and she has her mom to take care of.”

“Did you ever stop to think that you guys could help each other through all this?”

Did he think about it? That was practically all he thought about. How much easier it would all be if he had someone like Ashlee right there beside him. But no matter how hard he tried to convince himself that he needed to tell her about his past, he always found a hundred reasons not to.

“I want to tell her about my dad, I really fucking do, but there’s a chance that she’s going to run screaming once I tell her and I don’t think I could stand not having her in my life.”

“If you believe Ashlee Daniels is the kind of woman who would run, then you don’t know her half as well as you think you do. You think her life is all roses and champagne? Think again, man. That girl has been through hell and back, so trust me when I tell you that she’s having the same fucking doubts about telling you her story.”

Jarrod’s words hit him like a straight punch to the gut.
What the hell am I missing here?
“What are you talking about?”

“It’s her story to tell, but don’t underestimate her. If you do, you’ll lose her.”

They had a lot of things to talk about apparently, and as much as he dreaded having that conversation with her, he knew he couldn’t wait much longer before laying his cards on the table. And having her do the same.

Chapter Seven

SAM

Sam sat at the kitchen table of their tour bus, staring at the woman who was driving him crazy. He smiled at how nice it was to have her in his world, even if it was just for a little while. If it were up to him, he’d be asking Derek to start looking into getting him his own bus so he and Ashlee could have their privacy, but it wasn’t up to him. Life on the road wasn’t for everyone; a lot of people thought they could handle it, but very few could. The glamour of the lifestyle was all smoke and mirrors—it was mostly sitting around watching movies more than anything else—but Ashlee seemed genuinely happy and relaxed on the bus. He’d like to think that was mostly because she was with him, but that would make him a presumptuous asshole, and he wasn’t quite ready to push that door wide open.

Even in the middle of the chaos that being on the road entailed, they managed to get quite a lot of work done on the charity front. Every day, he grew more and more impressed by how smart the sleepy-eyed woman sitting in front of him was. When he didn’t understand something, she didn’t get annoyed with him; instead, she found other ways to explain it, and God, how he loved that about her. She never grew irritated with him for knowing less than she did, and not once had she made him feel stupid or ignorant.

She must’ve felt him staring at her because she looked up from her laptop and gave him one of her bright smiles that drove him insane with lust.

“We’re going to check out the town and grab a bite to eat. You guys wanna come?” The thing about being on a bus with three other guys was that having a moment between the two of them was almost impossible. No matter what time it was or what they were doing, one of the guys always managed to interrupt them.

“I’ll pass, Tyler, but thank you. I have a lot of work to do.” When they agreed to start their own charity, none of them had expected it would require so much damn work.

“Ashlee, we don’t pay you to work yourself into the ground.” Sam looked at Tyler, who was just as concerned about how exhausted Ashlee was. She had them as well as other clients, and she wasn’t showing any signs of slowing down.

She glanced up at Tyler and when she smiled at his friend, he knew they were both going to lose this fight. “I know, and I’m not. There’s just a lot to do.”

Tyler looked at him as if trying to gauge what he should say next, but to be honest, Sam didn’t know; Ashlee loved to keep him guessing on almost everything. He smiled at her and kissed the top of her head.

“Fair enough, darling. What about you, dude? Are you staying or going?”

Sam was pretty sure Tyler already knew the answer to his question—if Ashlee wasn’t going, neither was he. Any chance he had to spend time alone with her, he took it. “I’m staying. I want to work through the details with Ashlee some more.”

When she glanced up at him and spilled her coffee all over the table, it took every inch of self-control not to laugh his ass off. She looked like a deer caught in headlights, as if she didn’t know what to do or say, and that was the most adorable thing in the world.

Tyler handed her a towel to clean the mess, but it was clear he found this whole situation more than a little funny. “Is that what the kids are calling it these days?”

Her whole face was flushed, which wasn’t unusual, but damn, was it sexy.

He stared at Tyler who was still grinning from ear to ear, and he fought the urge to kick the man’s ass. “Shut up, Tyler.” The tension between the two of them was something Sam had never experienced before, and wandering into unknown territory scared him.

She hadn’t spoken more than two words to him since the guys left, and it was driving him insane. The constant talking in circles to avoid actually talking about whatever was going on between the two of them he could handle, but the silent treatment was too much.

He took her empty coffee cup and filled it back up before sitting down. She thanked him, but her eyes never left the pile of papers in front of her. One thing he’d come to learn about Ashlee Daniels was that she was an old-school type of woman—paper over computer. Their small table was covered with sheets of papers with scribbles of writing everywhere. He had no idea how she managed to be as efficient as she was.

Watching her work, he came to the conclusion that she was thoroughly and knowingly avoiding having a conversation with him. Judging by her coffee spill when he told Tyler he was staying, she was also actively avoiding spending time alone with him.

That wasn’t going to work for him, not at all.

He leaned back against the leather seat and watched as her brows furrowed, a sign that whatever she was doing was giving her a headache. A perfect way in. “So, what are you working on right now?”

She was startled by his voice, jumping in her seat. Her smile, the way her eyes shone when she heard his voice, the way her hair fell around her face—he loved everything about Ashlee Daniels.

Damn, this woman is going to be the death of me.

Her eyes landed on his, and he could see the emotions flying around in her face as she spoke. “Oh, hmm… the draft for the articles of incorporation so you can look them over.”

It seemed like she would either jump over the table and take what they both wanted or she was about to get lost in the paperwork again. He just couldn’t let that happen.

“I take it these articles of incorporation are giving you a hard time.”

“Why would you say that?” She looked at him like she was analyzing how he figured her out.

I’m going to love showing her exactly how much I already know.

He leaned forward and put his arms down on the table, his hands inches away from her. Her eyes were glued to his arms. Yeah, the woman had a thing for his arms, and the way she was looking at him right then would keep him working out for the rest of his life. “You’re frowning. You only frown when you’re about to get a headache.”

Frustration crawled all over her face as if she were gearing up for a fight. He knew she didn’t like how well he could read her. “I am not frowning,” she told him in her best assertive voice, but the hint of vulnerability she always gave him was right there, giving a part of herself to him.

He laughed, his head thrown back, and he could feel her eyes on his throat. The image of her licking and biting his neck crept into his head and went straight to his cock. He shifted in his seat, trying to regain his composure, even if he knew it was a lost cause. “Yes, you are, darling. There’s nothing wrong with that. How about we take a break?”

“Hmmm, I still have a lot of work to do here, Sam.” Anyone could see the pros and cons list she was creating in her head. She always seemed to do that before deciding whether or not she should do something. He wondered what the list she had about him looked like; he would sure as hell love to turn all her cons into pros.

If he didn’t take the choice away from her, she wouldn’t allow herself to take a break, so he took matters into his own hands. He closed her notebooks and just smiled when she looked at him. “Take ten minutes, Ashlee. The work isn’t going anywhere.”

“I guess you’re right. You know, this whole bus thing isn’t at all what I was expecting.” His smile widened because he had a pretty good idea of what she’d expected—parties and women. Shit, he couldn’t even remember the last time they’d had a party on this bus, or had groupies inside.

The music and being the best artists they could be were their only priorities, even if most people still thought they were living the high life. “What were you expecting?” he asked her, curious to see where this conversation was going.

She stared at him as if she was trying to decide how to say something without offending him; she always took the time to consider his feelings. She took a few sips of coffee before looking at him intensely. “I don’t know actually. Something more rock and roll, I guess.” She bit her bottom lip, and he heard himself growl. It drove him crazy when she did that.

He cleared his throat, trying to focus on his answer as she bit down on her lower lip again, like she was doing it on purpose to torture him. “Don’t get me wrong, we’ve had our fair share of parties and wild nights, but we’re not young and stupid anymore. The parties, the booze, the groupies… it’s not who we are. Hell, that lifestyle actually makes us feel old because I don’t think we could handle it like we used to.”

She leaned in, her voice soft as she spoke to him, making him long to haul her over the table and hug her. “Do you ever get tired of it? The groupies, I mean. Women throwing themselves at you all the time.”

There was that vulnerability again. He fucking loved that she cared enough about him to ask him about groupies and if it was something he still adhered to. “I won’t lie. It used to have its appeal, when we were young and dying to fuck everything that moved, but now, just the thought of it makes me wanna throw up. Look at where we are now. Jarrod’s married with a kid, Mike’s in love with a reporter but won’t admit it, Austin’s still healing a broken heart from his high school sweetheart, and Tyler thinks he’s so fucked up that he stays away from any connection with women. Groupies aren’t our thing anymore.”

She played with the rings on her fingers, keeping her head down. “What about you? You mentioned everyone but you.”

He leaned over the table and, with his fingers under her chin, tilted her head up so she could see his face as he answered. There was no way they were having this conversation without looking at each other; he needed her to see he wasn’t lying, to trust him. “Honey, the last thing on my mind is groupies when you’re all I can think about… all I can dream about.”

“I shouldn’t have asked that. I’m sorry.”

He kept his fingers under her chin even as she tried to push him away. He didn’t like her apologizing for asking something they both needed to clear up. He wanted her to feel comfortable and safe to ask him anything, and he needed her to know that he would always tell her the truth. “Ashlee, don’t ever be sorry for asking me something that obviously matters to you. You want to know if I’d ever fuck a groupie? The answer is no because the only person I want in my bed is sitting right in front of me. Whatever’s going on between us only stands a chance if we’re honest with each other.”

She swallowed hard and he watched the pulse beating fast in her neck. He got to her all right, even if she didn’t want to admit it. “Nothing can happen between us, Sam.”

“So you keep saying, honey, but see, there’s only one little problem with that—I’m not letting you go.” He was pushing his luck and he damn well knew it, but he couldn’t help himself. He wanted her more than he’d ever wanted a woman before. Not just because he was attracted to her, but because he felt a connection with her he never thought he would have with a woman. That wasn’t something he was ready to give up—not now, not ever.

“Is that why this charity is important to you? Because you can’t let go of something?”

Leave it to Ashlee to change a conversation from something highly personal between the two of them to safer ground where she didn’t have to expose herself or her feelings.