Saved by the Single Dad (9 page)

‘You can make as much noise and as much mess as you like. That's one of the rules of the house.'

Cass thought for a moment. ‘I cook...'

‘Great. Knock yourself out. We can take it in turns; I wouldn't mind a few evenings off.'

He had an answer for everything. And right now Cass couldn't see any further than a hot meal and a night's sleep, uninterrupted by worry. She straightened, disentangling herself from his arms, and Jack moved back quickly.

‘Okay. Thanks.'

* * *

As soon as Jack made up his mind to do something, he just did it. No messing around, no fuss. Martin would keep an eye on her house while she was gone, and she was assured time and time again that she was doing the right thing. Jack had quietly overseen everything, and if the feeling that the whole village was handing her over to him was a little strange it wasn't a bad one.

Lunch had been eaten and Martin had stood up to make a brief speech, sending them on their way with the thanks and good wishes of the community. Hugs had been exchanged and they'd walked out into the sunshine.

‘Not giving me a chance to change my mind?' Jack had propelled Cass firmly into the car that was waiting outside.

‘May as well go now, while the rain holds off.' He shot her a sizzling grin. ‘And I'm not giving you the chance to change your mind.'

By the time they reached his house, it was raining again. Jack showed her up to the spare room, told her to make herself at home and disappeared to collect Ellie, leaving Cass to sit on the bed and draw breath for the first time in what seemed like for ever.

She looked around. The room was clearly hardly used, meticulously tidy and a little chilly from having the door closed and the heating turned off. But it was bright and comfortable and, for the next few days, it was her space.

It was quiet too. After the bustle of the vicarage and the church hall, this seemed like heaven. She listened at the silence for a while. Maybe this hadn't been such a bad idea after all.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

T
HE
EVENING
HAD
passed in a welter of good manners and keeping their distance. The next morning was rather less formal, on account of the rush to get Ellie up and both of them out of the house in time for work, but Jack reckoned that they were doing okay. Then he got the phone call.

He'd picked Ellie up from Sarah's in a daze of misery. Done his best to pretend that there was nothing wrong, until after he'd tucked Ellie in and kissed her goodnight. When he went back downstairs, the house was quiet.

‘What's the matter?' Cass was sitting on the edge of one of the armchairs, looking at him thoughtfully.

‘Nothing. Long day.' She'd come here for a break. He didn't want to burden her with his problems.

‘Don't do that to me. I told you mine, and now you can tell me yours. That's the deal, Jack, and if you don't like it then I'm out.'

In that moment, Jack knew that this was all that he'd wanted. Someone to come home to. Someone he could share this with.

‘It's Mimi. She's been hurt.'

‘When?'

Jack slumped down onto the sofa. ‘Yesterday afternoon. I heard about it this morning; Rafe called me when I was on my way to work. I went straight in to see how she was...' He closed his eyes, the lump in his throat preventing him from saying any more.

The sofa cushions moved as Cass sat down beside him. ‘And how is she?'

‘She's in the ICU. None of her injuries are life-threatening, but she's in a bad way. I went up at lunchtime and they let me sit with her for half an hour.'

‘Is she awake?'

He shook his head. ‘It's better they keep her under sedation for a while.'

‘Would you like to go back now? I'll stay here and look after Ellie.'

‘There's no point. They won't let me in, and there's nothing I can do. Rafe's promised to phone if there's any change.'

He felt her fingers touch the back of his hand and he pulled away from her. That wasn't going to help. Nothing was going to help.

‘What is it, Jack?'

‘You think that this isn't enough?' He heard anger flare in his voice and it shocked him. When he glared at Cass, she flushed, pressing her lips together. Now wasn't the time for her to clam up on him.

‘Just say it, Cass. You really can't make anything any worse.'

‘Things could be a lot worse and you know it. Since when did you give up on anyone, Jack?'

‘I am
not
...' The denial sprang to Jack's lips before he realised that Cass had seen a lot more than he had. Giving up on Mimi was exactly what he was doing.

All he wanted her to do was hold him. Maybe she saw that too because she reached across, taking his shaking hands between hers. Jack could never imagine that Cass's touch could be anything other than exciting, but now it was soothing.

‘I'm afraid of losing her, Cass. She went into a building and it flooded...' He shook his head. ‘Why did she have to go and do that?'

‘Same reason you would, I imagine. This isn't really about Mimi, is it?'

Cass always seemed to see right through him, and right now it was the only thing that could bring him any comfort. ‘I was so angry with my father when he died. I felt he cared more about getting off on the risk than he did about us. Sal too...'

Cass let go of his hands, curling her arms around his shoulders. Jack hung on to her as tightly as if he were drowning.

‘I'd be angry too. But you have to forget that now because Mimi's your friend and she deserves your trust. You have to believe in her.'

She'd cut right to the heart of it. To his heart. The thought that once again he might lose someone who was important in his life had torn at him all day. He hadn't been able to see past his anger, hadn't even allowed himself to feel any hope for Mimi.

‘I let her down, didn't I?'

‘No. And you're not going to either, because you're going back to the ICU tomorrow and you're going to tell her how much you care about her, and that you know she's going to get better. Even if she can't hear you.'

‘Perhaps she can. You always have to assume that even heavily sedated patients can hear what's going on.'

‘Well, in that case you'd better make it convincing.' The flicker of a smile caressed her lips. ‘Go on. Let's see your convincing face.'

She could make him laugh even when things were bad. She might not be able to make all the worry disappear, nor could she drive away all the simmering fear and anger, but she knew how to give him hope. Jack gave an approximation of his most earnest expression and she shook her head, laughing.

‘I'd stick with the one you gave Lynette. I wouldn't buy a used car off you if you looked at me like that.'

* * *

She made him a drink, and got a smile in return, but she could still feel the pain leaking out of him. He wasn't just dealing with Mimi being hurt; he was dealing with all of the remembered pain of his father's death. All of the fears he had for Ellie.

The best she could do tonight was help him to switch off for a while. She knew his gaze was on her back as she ran her finger along the books on the shelf, spelling the titles out quietly to herself.

Reaching for the book that she and Izzy had shared, she turned to Jack. ‘I don't suppose you'd like to read...'

He grinned. ‘I'd be honoured. Will Miss Palmer mind?'

‘She'll understand.' What he needed was to let it all go, just for a few hours. And Cass didn't know a better way than this. She handed him the book, settling down next to him on the sofa, and Jack opened it and started to read.

Slowly, they slipped into another world together. The space between them seemed to diminish as they travelled the same paths, thought the same thoughts. And Jack's voice lost the sharp edge of stress that she'd heard in it all evening.

He finished the chapter and they embarked greedily on the next. But it was too much. When they stopped for a while, to talk sleepily, the book slipped from Jack's fingers and Cass caught it before it fell to the floor.

He looked so peaceful. Waking him up would only bring him back to a present that he needed to forget for now if he was going to face it tomorrow. Carefully, Cass manoeuvred Jack round on the sofa, taking off his shoes, disentangling herself from his arms when he reached for her, and fetching the duvet and a pillow from his bed to keep him warm.

Maybe she should make some attempt to slip his jeans off; he'd be more comfortable. She reached under the duvet, finding the button on the waistband and undoing it. Jack stirred, and she snatched her hand away.

Enough. Go to bed.
Cass left Jack sleeping soundly on the sofa and crept upstairs.

* * *

When Jack woke, the feeling of well-being tempered the knowledge that he wasn't where he was supposed to be. He was still in his clothes, but when he moved he realised that the waistband of his jeans had been loosened. He fastened the button again, a little tingle of excitement accompanying the thought that Cass must have undone it, and kicked the duvet off.

Exactly what clinical level of unconsciousness did a man need to attain before he didn't notice the touch of Cass's fingers? Jack dismissed the notion that she must have slipped something into his cocoa and sat up. A loud crash sounded from the kitchen, propelling him to his feet.

‘Daddee...' Ellie was sitting at the kitchen table, holding her arms out for her morning kiss. Cass was on her knees, carefully scooping up the remains of a jar of peanut butter, and shot him an embarrassed look.

‘Did we wake you?'

‘No, he was awake.' Ellie settled the matter authoritatively. ‘So we can make some noise if we like.'

Jack chuckled, lifting Ellie from her chair and kissing her. ‘Yes, but you still can't make a mess. What do you say to Cass?'

‘Sorry. My hand slipped.' Ellie repeated her current excuse for pretty much anything, and Cass got to her feet.

‘That's okay, sweetie. There wasn't much left in there.'

‘There's another jar in the cupboard.' It didn't look as if Cass had started her own breakfast yet. ‘Thanks for getting Ellie up.'

Cass grinned. ‘Call it a joint effort. Ellie picked out what she wanted to wear and I helped with some of the buttons.'

He noticed that Ellie had odd socks on and decided not to mention it. He could rectify that easily enough when he got her into the car.

‘I really appreciate it, Cass.' He tried to put everything that he felt into the words. ‘Last night, as well...' Last night had helped him face everything a little better this morning.

For a moment her gaze rested on his face, asking all the questions that she couldn't voice with Ellie around. A sudden rush of warmth tugged at his heart, leaving Jack smiling, and she nodded.

‘You're going in to see her today?'

‘Yes. Shall I give you a call and let you know how she is?' That seemed important somehow. That Cass would be expecting his call.

‘I'd really like that.'

* * *

Tuesday had brought no change in Mimi's condition, but Wednesday morning brought hopes that she might be woken later on in the day. Cass ate her lunch with her phone in front of her, on the table. When it buzzed, she snatched it up.

‘Could I ask an enormous favour?' Jack asked a little awkwardly.

‘Sure. Name it.'

‘They're waking Mimi up today. Rafe and Charlie, her brother, are with her at the moment, but I'd really like to go in and see her after work.' A short pause. ‘There are some things I'd like to tell her.'

‘That's really good news. I'll get some shopping on the way home if you like.'

‘No... We've got plenty of everything. I was wondering if you could look after Ellie for a while. It's just that Sarah's going to her evening class tonight...'

Cass swallowed hard. Shopping would have been the easier option, but Jack needed time with Mimi. She could do this. ‘Yes, of course. Take your time with Mimi; we'll be fine.' Her voice rang with a confidence she didn't feel.

‘Thanks.' He sounded relieved. ‘I really appreciate it. Sarah will drop her home on her way to her class...'

She took Sarah's mobile number just in case. Then Cass placed her phone back on the table, wondering what she'd just done.

* * *

‘Guys...' The ready room was buzzing with activity, and most of her colleagues had children of their own. ‘I need some help here. I'm looking after a four-year-old this evening. What am I going to do with her?'

Eamon turned, chuckling. ‘Easy. First thing to do is feed her. No sweets or sugary stuff, or she'll be running around all night...'

Pete broke in. ‘Find her something she likes on TV for an hour, and then ask her to show you her favourite story book. She'll tell you what it says; they know their favourites by heart.'

Cass laughed, spinning a screwed-up ball of paper at Pete's head. ‘I can manage a kid's storybook. Big writing, spaced-out words.'

‘There you go then. If in doubt, go for princesses; they're all the rage at the moment,' Eamon added with a laugh. ‘Sorted.'

Cass wasn't so sure. A menu and a schedule of activities for the evening was the least of her worries. Looking after Jack's child, in Jack's house, was a mocking counterfeit of all the things she wanted so much but couldn't have. She was just going to have to rise above that and maintain some kind of mental distance.

Tea was accomplished, albeit with the maximum amount of mess. Jack had called, saying that after having slept for the whole afternoon, Mimi was now awake and relatively alert, and Cass told him to stay with her.

Ellie selected her favourite cartoon and Cass sat down on the sofa with her to watch it, while Ellie kept up a running commentary of what was going to happen next.

‘The monster's coming...'

‘Where?'

‘They're going into the forest. He's hiding...' Ellie covered her eyes.

‘Hey. It's okay.' Cass assumed that Ellie knew that too, but that didn't seem to erode the tension of the moment for her.

‘Cassandra...' Ellie flung her arms around Cass's neck, seeming genuinely terrified, and every instinct demanded that Cass hug her back.

This moment should hurt, but Ellie was just a little girl and it was Cass's name she'd called. Cass felt herself relax, holding Ellie tight. It was just the two of them, and she and Ellie could protect each other from the monsters that lurked in both their heads.

* * *

When Jack got home the kitchen was empty, apart from the remains of a meal which looked big enough to feed a whole army of four-year-olds. Upstairs, Ellie was in bed and her room was uncharacteristically tidy. Cass was sitting by her bed, the closed book on her lap indicating that she'd resorted to improvisation for Ellie's bedtime story.

‘Daddy...? I had a nice time...' Ellie's voice was sleepy and Jack leaned over, kissing his daughter's forehead.

Cass's face tipped towards him, tenderness shining from her eyes. He nodded in response to her mouthed question about Mimi, and she smiled.

‘Do you want to take over?' She was halfway out of the chair next to Ellie's bed and Jack shook his head. He'd worried about Ellie becoming too reliant on Cass, but in truth it was he who was beginning to feel he couldn't do without her. Ellie was clearly a lot more relaxed about things.

‘What's the story about?'

Cass thought. ‘Well, there's this princess. Beautiful, of course, and she's got her own castle.'

‘Naturally.' Jack sat down on the end of Ellie's bed.

‘And she wants her own fire engine...' Ellie woke up enough to show that she'd been following the plot.

‘Right. And does she get it?' Jack found himself smiling. Not the tight, forced smile he'd been practising for the last couple of days, but one which came right from the heart.