Saving Ella (19 page)

             
“I helped Ella cut the thorns off!” Eli said proudly.

             
“Good stuff little man. Did you bring a flower home for your mom?” Eli looked a little guilty and shook his head.

             
“I’m sure if you ask Rebecca nicely she will let you bring one home.” He jumped up and ran to Annie, wrapping his arms around her waist.

             
“Maybe next time mom, but only if you’re good,” he giggled.

The apartment looked good. It looked lived in, like a real family’s apartment s
hould look. Ella’s backpack sat neatly beside the couch, apart from that you wouldn’t have even known she was living there.

             
“Where’s Ella?” I asked just as she appeared in the hallway and nervously entered the small living room. I was reduced to a speechless chump within seconds. She wore a pair of jeans that hugged her body like a second skin. An equally tight fitting long sleeved top in a radiant shade of red, scalloped at the neckline and giving a teasing glimpse of the swell of her breasts. Her long hair hung loosely over her shoulders. She looked stunning, glowing, a far turn from the tired looking angel who had slipped across the shelter’s doorway over two weeks ago.

             
“Wow angel,” I finally exclaimed.

             
“Momma reckons you will think she’s hot,” said Eli in childlike innocence. Ella blushed and I couldn’t help but laugh.

             
“Yeah, hot is one word for it.” Ella still looked uncomfortable. Annie cast me a knowing look.

             
“Well, the sooner you two get out of here, the sooner I can get this little man with the uncontrolled mouth off to bed and I can enjoy having the T.V to myself.” Ella reached for her coat and I snapped it up, holding it out for her to slide her delectable little body into. Once we were comfortably in my pickup, Ella cast me a nervous glance and cleared her throat.

             
“You look nice,” she noted shyly. I was wearing a pair of old frayed jeans, a long sleeved black shirt and my favorite black all-weather jacket. Not really much different to what I wore to work each day.

             
“You look more relaxed than usual. I guess this is how you look when you’re not working.” I did feel a little more laid back than usual. The constant underlying layer of death that followed my memories for some reason felt a little more distant tonight.

             
“I guess. I haven’t been out in a while it feels good to do something normal.” Ella’s head tilted in thought.

             
“I don’t really know what normal is,” she whispered.

             
“Well angel, it’s about time you learned.”

              I was on a date with Jax, my first date ever and I curiously didn’t feel nervous. I was worried about what Jax would think when he first saw me. I had borrowed some of Annie’s clothes and she had even insisted I wear some mascara and lip gloss. She had given me a tiny bit of foundation to help cover the scar by my eye, and for the first time ever I had looked in the mirror and felt attractive. My eyes were bright and clear, my pale cheeks had a slight flush to them. I felt like a woman, a woman about to go on a date with Jax Carter. Oh who was I kidding, I was nervous as hell.

             
I was glad Jax was taking me back to The Pit Stop. I knew that place now, it was familiar, safe, and most importantly it wasn’t fancy. I didn’t do fancy, I didn’t even own a dress and I wondered if Jax liked that sort of thing, women in sexy dresses looking all seductive and beautiful. Selena was definitely the type of woman who liked to dress up. I couldn’t be more further from that if I tried.              

             
“Benny,” Jax smiled in greeting as we entered The Pit Stop.

             
“Jax, Ella. You two look like you need a table tonight.”

             
“Candle lit table with your best view,” Jax joked. Benny scoffed.

             
“Blah, you don’t need candles, the ambience in here is perfect for romance.”

             
Jax chuckled as he led me to a table by the front window. The snow had begun to fall outside and the streets were dark and empty. I was warm and safe. I was on a date about to enjoy a hearty meal, not completely homeless and pathetic and not at all scared. How could my life take such a drastic turn after so many years of indifference and fear? Where would I be now if I hadn’t of run? How ruined would I be? I shivered at the thought.

             
“Where are you right now angel?” Jax asked. It brought my thoughts back to here and now, back to warm and safe.

             
“Sorry, sometimes I just kind of, fade out.”

             
“I’ve noticed. Tonight you stay with me though, okay. I’m your typical male, easily emasculated when the girl he’s having dinner with loses interest and starts thinking about other things.” I wasn’t sure what to say, so I just nodded. A woman saved me from any embarrassment by sliding up to our table to take our orders. She took in Jax with appreciative eyes, and she looked at me with all out hostility. Jax ignored her though, his eyes on me only.

             
“What will you have angel?” I quickly glanced at the menu. The butterflies in my stomach had caused my appetite to retreat, but thinking about the breakfast I had enjoyed with Jax a week ago made me salivate.

             
“I don’t suppose we could have the same as last time we were here?”

             
Jax grinned. “Two all-day-breakfast’s with the lot, a chocolate shake and orange juice.” I almost moaned at the thought. I was suddenly starving.

             
“Not a problem Jax,” beamed the waitress. “How’s Selena, I haven’t seen her in a few weeks?” The waitress’s eyes cut to me with a sly grin. Then I was assaulted with a horrifying thought. Was Jax still supposed to be dating Selena? I had assumed it was over, but what if it wasn’t? This girl probably thought they were still together and wondered what he was doing out with me. My stomach had gone from starving to nauseous in seconds.

             
“I have no idea Lisa. I haven’t seen Selena in a while either. Could you bring the drinks out first please?” I could tell Jax was irritated, I could see it in his eyes but he didn’t give Lisa the benefit of knowing she had rattled him.

             
“Sorry,” he offered once Lisa had moved away from the table. I shrugged feigning nonchalance.

             
“I guess if you’re seen out with me instead of your girlfriend people are going to wonder.” Jax looked a little pissed at that comment.

             
“Angel, Selena is not my girlfriend, nor was she. We were just friends, who..” Jax seemed to be trying to find the words. “You know, barely friends, just a guy and a girl who..” He was stuck again. Friends who what? Had snacks and wine in his mother’s office? My blank face made him chuckle. “Shit Angel. We slept together, sometimes. But we weren’t exclusively dating, it was simply I’ll scratch your back if you’ll scratch mine.” First, I was mortified. I didn’t like thinking of Jax with other women, but I couldn’t really talk, I was definitely no saint. Then my mortification was replaced with anger. I knew I wasn’t experienced when it came to men and dating but I knew I wasn’t interested in that sort of relationship with anyone, especially Jax and if he assumed that I was that kind of girl, he was wrong.

             
“She was your fuck buddy?” I gasped with indignation I wished I didn’t have.

             
“Not anymore. I wish I could tell you that I’ve had deep and meaningful relationships with maybe one or two girls. The truth is I’ve had exactly zero deep and meaningful relationships and way too many girls. I’ve got a history here in Claymont and I’m not proud of it. Not that it is an excuse, but coming home from Afghanistan, seeing the shit I saw, doing the shit I did, I was a loose cannon and I did a lot of things I was not proud of. I’ve changed. I didn’t want to be that person, so I cleaned up my act. I’ve been in and out of therapy dealing with my shit. Selena was something I clung on to, and I have no idea why, but she is out of my life permanently now. She’s not the kind of girl I see myself with; she is not my forever girl, never was and I wish I had of realized it a long time ago.” I stared at him, opened my mouth to speak and was stopped by the unpleasant Lisa who brought our meals over and dumped them before us with absolutely no grace or care.

             
“Anything else I can get you kids?” She asked, in a voice laced with false enthusiasm. Jax said nothing. We just simply stared at each other as if the world around us no longer existed.

             
“Oooookay, holler if you need me?” She left, thank God.

             
“Are you going to say anything? If you don’t want to do this we can eat and I’ll take you right home. I’d be lying if I said I was okay with that, but I want you to know you can trust me. I won’t do anything to hurt you and if dealing with my shit on top of your own is too much, I understand. I’ll back off.”

             
I shook my head, shaking free the confusion and shock that had settled there. I didn’t picture Jax as the type of guy who slept around and used women. He fought for women, protected them. But sometimes when fighting for your sanity, for your mind and happiness, sometimes it sends you on into a vortex that can get completely out of hand and you end up doing a lot of things you wouldn’t normally do. I of all people knew that lesson well. It was obvious Jax had used sex to suppress his nightmares and escape. Who was I to talk? I had done the exact same thing.

             
“The women you were with, did you hurt them?” I found myself whispering.

             
“Fuck angel. Not ever, not once. As much as it shames me to say it, I never spent the night with a girl who expected more than just a night. Mine and Selena’s relationship was always clear. Recently she decided she wanted more and I stopped it right then for two reasons.” Jax stared at me, making sure I was listening.

             
“One, I didn’t want that with her, a future. For the first time I actually saw her for who she really was, and to be honest, she’s a bitch. Second, I find myself wanting a future with someone else.” I’m not sure if I’m breathing right now. I’m terrified of what Jax will say next.

             
“I find myself attracted to a particularly beautiful brunette, with exquisite chocolate eyes and a smile filled with sunshine, and yes, I am aware I sound like a pussy right now, but it’s the truth. And I don’t want you freaking out. We will take things slowly. One day at a time. I plan to woo the heck out of you angel.”

             
“Woo me?” I grinned caught somewhere between thrilled and stunned.

             
“Woo, as in date, as in force you to see what a catch I am, and make you want me so bad I will consume your every thought. One day at a time Ella, I’m going to give you a future, and you’re going to trust me with your heart.” Holy shit, I couldn’t tell Jax Carter this, but he already owned my heart.

             
“But before we can continue this,” he stuck a piece of egg in his mouth and chewed thoughtfully before continuing. “I need something from you.” He didn’t elaborate and I grew frustrated.

             
“What?” I asked him suspiciously.

             
“I need to know your last name? I can’t be dating someone whose name I don’t even know.” He smirked. A small laugh escaped my lips. I was expecting him to ask for something deep and emotional, maybe even life changing.

             
“Munroe. Actually, it’s Munroe-Spencer. My mom hated Munroe, she said it sounded common and boring, so her maiden name was thrown in. I always found it a little ironic, because there is nothing uncommon about Spencer.”

             
“Ella Munroe, I like it.”

             
“Ella Mai Munroe, my dad always called me Ella Mai. He allowed mom to have the hyphenated surname if she allowed my middle name to be Mai. Dad said it was some sort of spin-off of that girl in that old black and white show, about the hillbillies that struck oil and moved to Beverly Hills and it pissed my mom off.”

             
Jax laughed loudly. “Elly May.” Just like that the tension that had filled the air disappeared, and my appetite had returned, with a vengeance. I inhaled my meal, just like the last time Jax had brought me here and just like last time, Jax seemed genuinely turned on by the gusto way with which I enjoyed my dinner.

             
“You don’t have some sort of weirdo food fetish?” I found myself teasing him.

             
“Only when watching you eat angel. Don’t worry though, for the most part I don’t want to do anything particularly kinky or weird with the food, though chocolate sauce and whipped cream could prove entertaining.” His grin was wicked and teasing, but his eyes did not betray his desire. Just like that I was blushing again.