Saving Jessica

“D
on’t your doctors know
anything
yet?

You’ve been in the hospital two days. You’d think they would have told you something by now!”

Jessica McMillan heard the frustration in Jeremy Travino’s voice. She held out her hand and he took it, holding it tightly as if he were responsible for keeping her anchored to the hospital bed. “They’re supposed to tell me something this afternoon,” she told him. “Mom and Dad are coming in at four-thirty for a big powwow with Dr. Kowalski.”

“Tell me it won’t be bad, Jessie. I don’t think I could stand it if something happened to you.”

“I’ll be all right,” she said with much more
assurance than she felt. In truth, she was scared. She’d begun feeling tired and dizzy the month before. Her family doctor had treated her for anemia, but her symptoms—headaches, numbness in her arms and legs and an intolerable itching sensation all over her body—had steadily worsened until the doctor had thought it best to hospitalize her and run extensive tests.

“But what if they still don’t know anything after all this testing? I’ve read about weird symptoms that the doctors can’t figure out.”

“Don’t get paranoid on me,” she said, peering into Jeremy’s worried brown eyes. “Maybe it’s something simple—like some kind of exotic flu.”

“It’s March. Flu season’s in the winter.”

“So I decided to catch it now. You know how I hate to follow the crowd.” She flashed him a smile.

The worry lines in his brow relaxed and he smiled back. “What I know is that I love you and I hate hospitals. What I know is that if they don’t let you out of here soon, I’ll steal you away from the place.”

“My hero,” she said with a grin.

He leaned back in the chair beside her bed, still holding her hand. He shrugged sheepishly. “All right, so patience isn’t my strong suit. I get it from my father.”

Jeremy’s dad was a high-powered attorney in a Washington, D.C., firm; his mother was an executive in a public relations business. Jessica’s parents were both teachers; her mother helped run a Head Start preschool program and her father taught humanities at Georgetown University.

“Well, since you’re a lawyer’s son, maybe you should go plead with my doctor to divulge my test results right now and not wait for my parents to arrive.”

“I’d do it if I thought he’d talk to us. Why do parents always have to hear everything first?” He sounded irritated.

“Because we’re minors?”

“Big deal.”

“Don’t be impatient. I’m a little scared about hearing the diagnosis anyway. Sometimes not knowing can be better than knowing.”

“How can you say that? Not knowing is driving me nuts.”

“Because as long as I don’t know, I can imagine it’s something simple, like mono, or anemia that needs more treatment. What if it’s something really terrible?”

He moved forward and ran the back of his free hand along her cheek. “No matter what it is, I’ll be here for you.”

The look of fierce devotion on his face made her insides turn mushy. How had she won the adoration of such a great guy as Jeremy? “Even though I’m an older woman?” she teased.

“Don’t start with that. You’re not that much older.”

She was seventeen and a half. He’d turned sixteen in January. But he was so bright and articulate that he seemed older than boys who were eighteen and nineteen. She’d met college-age guys who didn’t act as mature as Jeremy.

“Well, most women stop having birthdays at some point, so that’ll give you time to catch up to me.”

His face broke into a heart-stealing grin. “I like the way that sounds. It sounds as if you plan to have me around for years and years.”

“Just until you catch up with me in age. Then I’ll have to look for someone younger.”
She patted his hand. “You understand, of course.”

“Of course. Whatever you say.” His dark eyes danced with good humor.

“Hadn’t you better get back to school?”

“I want to be with you.”

“You’ve cut two classes and lunch period to be with me. Your parents wouldn’t like it if they knew.”

His good humor evaporated. “Who cares? I’m tired of them always telling me what to do. They’re parents, not my zookeepers.”

Jessica wished Jeremy’s relationship with his parents was better. They seemed always at odds with each other, always tugging and pulling, prickly as cactuses. Sometimes Jessica thought they resented her relationship with him. She wanted them to like her. She was in love with Jeremy and disliked being the cause of any friction between them and their son. Their only living son.

“Any one of your teachers could tell them you skipped half a day.”

“So what? I want to be here when you get your test results. You don’t think your folks will mind, do you?”

“No. They won’t care if you’re with me.” Her parents liked Jeremy and approved of their dating. Just so long as she graduated in June and started college in the fall, they would be happy. Come fall, Jeremy would begin his senior year and she would be attending Georgetown, so she’d be able to see him whenever she wanted.

“When you get out of here,” he said, “I’ll take you to see the cherry trees blossoming along Pennsylvania Avenue.”

“Will you put the top down on your car?”

“We’ll freeze.”

“We’ll turn the heater up and wrap blankets around us,” she countered. She loved his little sports car, a gift from his parents on his sixteenth birthday.

“Anything you want.” He rubbed his thumb over her knuckles. “I just want you well again and out of here.”

“Me too.” The familiar fear clutched at her. For a few minutes she’d forgotten where she was and why, but now reality returned with a jolt. She was sick. Mysteriously and genuinely sick. When she’d first protested that she was fine and didn’t want to be checked into the
hospital for testing, her family doctor had said, “Perfectly fine teenage girls don’t exhibit such severe symptoms as yours. I want you checked out thoroughly, Jessica.”

She’d come to the hospital and spent two days enduring blood tests, X rays and CAT scans. In a few hours she’d know what was wrong. No matter what it was, she hoped she’d have the courage to face it. She squeezed Jeremy’s hand. “I’m glad you’re here with me. It makes me feel braver.”

“I won’t leave you,” he said. “I promise, I won’t.”

Her parents arrived at four o’clock, looking tense and worried. They hugged her and told Jeremy they were glad he was there. “Are you feeling all right?” her mother asked anxiously.

“My feet and legs are swollen. I feel like a water balloon.”

“You look pretty,” her father said.

“I think so too,” Jeremy declared.

“I look terrible,” she insisted. “And I can’t shake this headache.”

“Maybe you’ve got a headache from stress,” her mother offered. “I often get stress headaches.”

“Maybe so,” Jessica said, hoping to calm her mother, who’d been a nervous wreck ever since Jessica had gotten sick. “If it’s stress, once I find out what’s wrong, the headache will disappear, won’t it?”

Her parents looked frightened, and she hated being the cause of their worry. Her father’s heart wasn’t strong, and her mother had had a bout with breast cancer two years before. She was all right now, but still Jessica worried about their health. It wasn’t fair that she should be sick when she should be healthy. Her parents were older—she’d been born late in their lives—but they adored her. She was their only child.

“How have you been, Jeremy?” her father asked.

“Okay. I’ll be better when Jessie’s home.” He gazed at her tenderly and she smiled.

“We all will.”

The doctor was late. “Maybe I should have the nurses page him,” her mother said. “What do you think, Don?”

“He’ll be here, Ruth. You know doctors. Always with a million things to do.”

Jessica felt the tension in the room and wished she could do something to lessen it. But she was feeling slightly nauseous and couldn’t think of anything to say to her parents.

Jeremy turned on the TV and found the CNN channel. The newscaster’s voice droned, but it was enough to grab everyone’s attention. Jessica told Jeremy “Thank you” with her eyes. Finally, at five-fifteen, Dr. Kowalski breezed into the room along with Dr. Harris, the family physician. Their faces were masklike and unreadable, but Jessica felt a stab of fear. If only they’d been smiling.