Saving Me (Finding You #3)
Read Saving Me (Finding You #3) Online
Authors: Amanda Mackey
Saving Me
Finding You Series, Book Three
By Amanda Mackey
Saving Me
Copyright © 2015 by Amanda Mackey. All rights reserved.
First Print Edition: April 2015
Limitless Publishing, LLC
Kailua, HI 96734
Formatting: Limitless Publishing
ISBN-13: 978-1-68058-103-4
ISBN-10: 1-68058-103-1
No part of this book may be reproduced, scanned, or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission. Please do not participate in or encourage piracy of copyrighted materials in violation of the author’s rights. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to locales, events, business establishments, or actual persons—living or dead—is entirely coincidental.
Table of Contents
Dakota
In Kyle’s Hollywood penthouse, he stirred next to me as the hazy morning sun snaked through the half-closed Venetian blinds in the king size bedroom we now shared. The weak rays painted the enormous bed with solar stripes, taking the edge off the unusually cool morning. Los Angeles weather in fall was usually mild but on this particular morning, not even the sun could overpower the chilly easterly gusts blowing in off the ocean.
A milky smooth hand brushed the hair from my brow as he kissed my closed eyes. His lips were feathery soft and luscious. His hot breath warmed me to the core. Even in the Arctic I would never freeze. My eyes remained closed as he found a weak spot just below my ear and nibbled gently with his lips and teeth.
“Mmmm. Morning, beautiful girl.”
“Morning yourself, Mr. Rutherford.” A languid smile eased across my face as my eyes opened to find Kyle hovering above. His hair had grown longer and was a wild mess. Eyes dreamy. Those sultry oceans of blue that stopped my breathing whenever they burned into me. I couldn’t look away. I didn’t want to. I wanted to surrender to him. I was complete when he touched me. Kissed me. When he spoke quietly in my ear, just in our little world. My hand crept up to caress his sharp jaw, angled perfectly to frame those succulent, ripe lips. Energy flooded through me, a powerhouse of need and want.
“I still can’t believe you’re here with me to stay. I keep thinking when I wake up you’ll be gone again, just an illusion.” A hint of sorrow clouded Kyle’s words in such a way, it prompted me to frame his face with both hands, searching his now regretful eyes.
After surviving an abusive marriage and a plane crash, I was exactly where I needed to be.
“I’ll never leave you, I promise. I’m here to stay. The accident wasn’t your fault. You weren’t to know the plane would crash. How could you? Please stop blaming yourself.”
Would his regret ever ease? Would he ever see that fate could not have been prevented? It was what it was. He’d taken it upon himself to shoulder the guilt over the accident. In his eyes he’d let me go when he shouldn’t have. But he couldn’t have changed a thing. I had been called to return to Australia after learning my father had been admitted to hospital because of my ex-husband, John. It wouldn’t have mattered what he’d said and done. I would have gone anyway.
As if on cue, Kyle spoke the words I’d just been thinking.
“I know. It’s just…look at what you went through to get back to me. I feel guilty. No one should ever have suffered the way you did. If only I’d insisted you stay with me.”
“Shhh. Let’s put it in the past. No one is to blame. It was just one of those horrible events in life that makes us stronger. I’m here now and I’m not going anywhere.” It was an event in my life that I could have done without, that was for certain, but it was over now and I was home.
I silenced him with a long, deep kiss, unable to be near that mouth without taking it. I knew how to change the subject and take his mind off matters that didn’t need discussing. He was partial to my kisses too, so as long as I had a trusted deterrent I would use it. His lips were fit for human consumption so why waste them? Marshmallow soft, full enough to get lost in. And lose myself I did.
I inhaled Kyle’s smell. This morning it was a combination of yesterday’s aftershave, soap from a late night shower, and a hint of something enticingly masculine.
“Well, now that you put it that way,” he murmured, turning his head to deepen the kiss. Our tongues found their own rhythm as I rolled onto my back, pulling Kyle on top so my hands could find his taut buttocks—a place they were most comfortable. How could one person be so perfect from the tip of his head down to his faultlessly aligned toes? There were no blemishes, scars or imperfections of any kind, unlike my own tarnished skin that bore constant reminders of how far I had come.
The low growl in Kyle’s throat heightened my own desire and I was a goner. The room faded to nothing. I became part of him, unconscious of anything other than the feel of him, the taste of him, and his power to take me to a place that was beyond Earth.
I arched my back, pushing into him, ready for anything. His hand moved lower to just above the crease at the back of my knee, bringing my leg up higher around him. His left hand was holding my hand back on the pillow, our fingers interlaced, his eyes momentarily spearing mine, intense to the point of spontaneous combustion.
I’d come a long way from the frightened, timid woman of a few months ago. Never would I have imagined experiencing such joy. Such love for another human being. Surrendering fully to someone. Trusting again. Kyle was helping keep all the monsters away. Demons that had threatened to pull me to a dark place. While I was with Kyle, he kept those demons from getting their claws into me. There were so many. His love shone light where there was darkness. He helped me forget. As long as he stayed by my side the monsters were safely hidden.
A faint knock at the door made Kyle lift his head, the first time he’d looked away.
“Hmm?” His glazed eyes glanced at the door, expectantly.
Knock. Knock.
There was only one other person it could be.
“Come in, Daniel,” Kyle urged as he rolled over and composed himself, covering up his excitement under the meager sheet. He mumbled something under his breath that I couldn’t understand.
Slowly the door opened to reveal the other light of my life. A young man who had climbed his own mountain: A hero in my eyes. His dark, corkscrew curls hung low over his heavily lashed, almond-shaped ebony eyes. He was dressed in nothing but satin boxers, having risen from bed to eat breakfast and get ready for school. His eyes flicked warily from Kyle and then to me, as if realizing that he’d probably interrupted something.
“Morning, Daniel. How are you?” Kyle offered, urging the boy in to sit on the edge of the bed. We’d both agreed to raise Daniel as our own and make him the center of our world—a world that up until recently had been in pieces. It held many dark secrets we were both trying to move away from, although the biggest classified skeleton in the closet was so massive that it would never be spoken of again. Murder. Nothing more, nothing less! A shocking event to have to live with. Daniel had taken a life and I had been his accomplice. I wasn’t proud of it. It killed me to think of it but we’d had no choice. We’d done it to protect ourselves. Not even Kyle knew of our shameful secret. There had been so many times I had wanted to unload the heavy burden and share with him that part of me I fought so hard to keep off limits, but for Daniel’s sake, I held my tongue. I’d given the boy my word that it would remain hush-hush and I planned on honoring that pledge.
Daniel shuffled over to the bed and handed me an envelope.
“Dakota, I found this inside the front door on the floor when I woke up this morning. It’s got your name on it.”
I glanced at Kyle, hoping for a reaction that would give away the surprise. Every week there was a note or gift placed throughout the apartment for me to stumble upon. A token of his devotion. Whisperings of his profound love and commitment. Today was no different as I reached for the envelope and didn’t bother looking at the scrawled name on the front. I ripped it open, my heart exploding with joy at the heartfelt sentiment.
Kyle’s face remained stoic, and if anything, his eyebrows knitted together slightly. I figured he was playing the surprised, innocent party to the hilt.
As I reached in and clasped the dried flower, revealing it to Kyle and Daniel, my lungs lost their air.
The rose fell to the bed as I wheezed, struggling for breath, clutching at the sheet that barely covered my breasts. My eyes closed firmly as I fought a scream. The oxygen in the room evaporated, along with my earlier, jubilant mood.
“Dakota, what is it?” Kyle had me in his arms in a heartbeat. His warm, strong body provided little comfort as my chest heaved.
I couldn’t speak. Only I knew the momentous symbolism the rose held. How something so shriveled and lifeless could impart such a reaction.
“A…monster!” My voice was barely a whisper. There was nothing as true as those words in that moment.
“It’s okay. It’s just a rose. Shhh. Calm down. I’m here. I won’t let anything bad happen.”
The words failed to appease me as I was lost to the widening chasm swallowing the room up.
Kyle pulled my head further into his chest as he folded himself around me. I could hear his swift heartbeat that seemed to motor along in tempo with mine.
“What’s got you so upset?”
“The…rose! Why did…you…give me…a dried rose?” I said, my breath obstructed.
I’d told him never to give me roses. They were a symbol from my past that invoked bitter memories. Had he forgotten? Was this just a silly joke? Was I overreacting?
My ex-husband John’s face almost became visible, grotesque and menacing, scowling up from the pale red flower bud, lying dead on the contrasting black sheet.
“I didn’t. I haven’t forgotten. I wouldn’t do anything so stupid, I promise.”
The sincerity in his voice had me shaking over the alternative. There shouldn’t have been an alternative. I hated to think of it. Jesus! Could it be? I felt faint. Pins and needles stabbed at my extremities. I fought for a logical explanation. There had to be one. My head swooned.
Don’t faint! Don’t faint! Keep it together. Breathe.
“Dakota, are you okay?” Daniel’s meek voice, bordering on manhood, broke the quiet. Daniel had witnessed my meltdown and was probably struggling to understand.
Kyle’s embrace was rigid as he uttered the words I couldn’t. “Oh Daniel! It’s okay. Just a memory, that’s all. She’ll be fine, I promise. Why don’t you get ready for school? She’ll be out soon.”
Daniel eyeballed me suspiciously as I peeked over at him, his eyebrows a long slash across his forehead, but he didn’t argue. He, if anyone, knew what it was like to remember things. Nightmares we had tried in vain to lock away. Nightmares he still struggled with every day.
“Well, if you’re sure she’s okay.” His voice cracked as he slowly pivoted and walked to the door, turning once to look over his shoulder. He fastened his eyes on me and I tried to comfort him with a smile but he was too smart for that. He could read my pain better than anyone, sometimes even better than myself.
When we were on our own and my breathing had returned to some semblance of normal, Kyle said, “Talk to me, angel. What is it? What’s got you so spooked?”
The thought of even saying the words aloud caused my pulse to accelerate again.
“He’s been here.”
“Who? Who’s been here?”
“John!”
“Come again?”
“I know it sounds crazy.” My knuckles were white as I balled my hands into fists, thumbs locked tightly under my fingers. “John used to give me a single red rose every anniversary. Even…”
The memory shattered me. Giant cracks jagged and sharp. “Even the last year I was with him. He still gave me that stupid red rose like some sick reminder that I belonged to him and always would.” It was the first time I’d given Kyle a reason behind my hatred of roses. I’d kept my explanation vague last time but this was serious.
Acid rose into my throat, bringing with it an intense urge to throw up. I retched, trying desperately not to let that happen. Tears sprinkled onto my cheeks like fresh rain.
Kyle’s formerly rigid body now tightened further to rock hard granite. The hand cradling my head squeezed a wad of hair.
“What day is it?”
I was confused. “Friday.”
“No, I mean what is the date today?”
“November fifth.”
With a sudden realization came a thumping in my head that threatened to explode my skull. Of course! How could I forget? I squashed my bottom lip with my teeth, alarm bells ringing. This was bad. Very bad! Today was my anniversary!
I fumbled for the envelope, pressing it out flat so I could read the writing on the front. Black pen had scribbled a name with an exclamation mark after it and underlined.
Dakota!
I crumpled under Kyle’s hold.
“Noooo! Please no!” It was more of a whisper than a wail. My legs curled up towards my torso into the comfortable, safe fetal position. I knew the implications of the hand delivered message with the familiar handwriting. He had found me. He’d been to the front door. He knew where I lived! He’d come to take me home. It was all over. He’d stop at nothing! This was a man who had traveled thousands of miles to hand deliver a rose! He meant business. My two worlds had finally collided.