Saving Stella (6 page)

“She’ll be alright Bray. It’s
nothing she hasn’t been through before.”

When he looked back my way I
didn’t expect the flair of anger I saw in his eyes.

“What happened to her? I need to
know why this happens to her. You told me she had been through some stuff, and
she told me that something had happened to her that changed her. At first I
didn’t think I wanted to know, but now, I need to know Sloan.”

 
I was shocked; Stella didn’t talk about that
night. Not even with me. And I was there.

“She told you that?”

“Yea she did. Why do you sound so
surprised? She didn’t say what, just said something.”

“Stella doesn’t talk about it.
With anyone. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t surprised. It’s not for me to tell
you Bray. It’s her story to tell. I think she will tell you, when she’s ready.
She’s already told you more than she’s told anyone else.”

He looked back down at her, and
that look came over his face again. That look told me all I needed to know.
That Bray would take care of my sister. A small smile spread across my lips. My
sister was about to find happiness whether she was ready for it or not.

When Bray looked back up to me he
finally noticed Fergus sitting in my lap.

“What is that?”

“This is Fergus. He’s normally stuck
to Stella like glue. Your presence seems to have scared him; I found him hiding
under the spare bed.”

“Fergus? What kind of name is
that for a… is it a dog?”

I burst out laughing. Although at
first I thought he was an overgrown rat too.

“Yes, he’s a dog. I couldn’t
believe it when Stella brought him home. We grew up with big dogs, so when she
told me she was picking up her puppy you can imagine my shock when she came in
with this little hair ball.”

“Hey. Stop ragging on my dog.”

Both our heads snapped in
Stella’s direction. Fergus was out of my lap in an instant scrambling his tiny
little legs as fast as he could to get to Stella. Brayden’s face had softened
again and he lifted a hand and gently brushed her cheek. I felt like I was
intruding on their moment.

“Hey you, how are you feeling?
You had me worried for a bit there. I had to call in the big guns.”

I could tell Stella was embarrassed,
by the way her pale cheeks reddened. She ducked her head back down under Bray’s
chin. I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. She was actually letting a man
touch her. Not just that, but she was cuddling into him. I didn’t want to ruin
whatever they had going on here. They needed to talk and I didn’t think my
being here was necessary anymore. She was safe with Bray.

“I’m going to head out, got a hot
date tonight. Il call you tomorrow baby sister.”

She shot me a glare as I got up
and headed for the front door to her apartment. I turned and blew her a kiss
before I walked out.

Stella

I relished the feel of Brayden’s
strong arms still wrapped around my body. I didn’t think I would be able to
stand a man’s touch again for so long. And now, here I was, snuggled into this delicious
man’s big strong body. And loving it. I didn’t ever want to let him go. I
didn’t understand what was happening to my body, or my mind. Just the thought
of a man’s touch used to make my blood run cold. I felt anything but cold right
now.

Silence filled my apartment. I
guess I had some explaining to do. Part of me wishes Sloan had of done it for
me. But I know she wouldn’t do that. She would never betray my trust. She and I
are the only ones who really know what happened that night. For so long now I
wanted to keep it that way. But there was something about Brayden; I knew I
could tell him.

I cleared my throat and took a
deep breath, gathering my courage for what I was about to do. Just because I
felt I could tell him, doesn’t mean it would be easy. Brayden spoke before I
could.

“You don’t have to say anything
Stella. I want to know what that was all about, but only when you’re ready to
tell me. This is all on your terms, remember.”

I could tell he was sincere by
the look in his eyes and the conviction in his voice. I decided that maybe I
could just tell him a little tonight. And if I felt strong enough, then I could
tell him the rest.

“Thank you. I’m really sorry
about that earlier. You must think I’m crazy. I didn’t mean for that to
happen.”

“Don’t apologize to me, you
didn’t do anything wrong. And I don’t think you’re crazy.”

I sat back in his lap and looked
into his eyes.

“I haven’t let a man touch me in
a long time. Let alone hold me like this. I can’t believe I’m not having
another panic attack right now. But, I feel safe, with you.”

The smile that overtook his face
at that last part warmed my heart. I wanted to tell him my story.

“When I was eighteen, I had been
seeing this guy for a little while, and he wanted to take things further but I
wasn’t ready yet. He said he understood and we could take it as slow as I
wanted to.”

I took a deep breath as I let the
memories overtake me. I hadn’t gone there in a long time. As soon as I let go
of the tight leash I had on them, the images flooded my mind like it was
yesterday.

“One day about a month after we
started seeing each other, he told me he had something special organised for
Saturday night and to make sure I didn’t make any other plans. I was excited, I
really liked him. The fact that he was willing to let me set our pace made me
like him even more. He was a couple of years older than me, and very attractive.
I didn’t know what he saw in me. But he said he loved me. I could tell he was
disappointed when I still wasn’t ready to sleep with him after he told me he
loved me. But he said he understood.”

I hadn’t realized I had started
shaking until Brayden tightened his arms around me. He grounded me, brought me
back to the now. I was safe. I knew Brayden would never hurt me like
he
did.

“Apparently he didn’t understand.
I had spent Saturday afternoon getting ready with Sloan’s help. She didn’t
really like him, but we had always had different taste in guys, so I put it
down to that. I was just about ready when he arrived. Mumma answered the door
and let him in, while I ran around my room looking for my shoes.”

A small smile formed on my lips
thinking about Mumma. I missed her so much. But then the memories kept coming
and the smile disappeared.

“I could faintly overhear Mumma
asking him where he was taking me. He wouldn’t tell her, said it was a
surprise. Mumma told him he wasn’t taking me anywhere until he told her where
we were going. So he said we were going to a fancy restaurant on the other side
of town, near his place. I don’t know if Sloan told you much about where we
grew up, but it wasn’t a nice place. To say we lived on the wrong side of the
tracks is an understatement.”

“I noticed Sloan had gotten ready
to go out too, where I was dressed up in a new red dress and shiny black heels,
Sloan was wearing black skinny jeans, a black tank top with a Guns and Roses
logo on the front and her Dr Martin boots. We’ve always been so different.”

I paused not sure how to go on
with my story. Brayden slid a finger under my chin, bringing my eyes level with
his.

“It’s ok Stella, if you’re not
ready to tell me, it’s ok.”

“No, I want to tell you, I do. It
will just take a little time. I get lost in my memories, I don’t let myself go
there anymore because it consumes me and I find it hard to come back to myself.
But with you here, holding me, reminding me I’m safe, I can do it.”

“I promise I won’t let you get
lost. You can stop whenever you need to.”

He gave me a small understanding
smile. I could do this, get it all out at once and I never have to go there
again.

“I know you won’t.”

Looking down at Fergus sleeping
in my lap I ran my hand through his soft fur and continued with my story.

“Sloan left just as I found my
shoes. When I came out I kissed Mumma goodnight and went out to his car with
him. He was so attentive, opening the car door, even clipping up my seatbelt
for me. He held my hand as he drove and made small talk about my day. After a
few minutes I got a strange feeling. Looking out my window it became apparent
that we weren’t going to the restaurant he had told Mumma about.

“When I asked where we were going
he let go of my hand and grabbed my thigh. Not hard at first, but firm. He just
said it was a surprise, nothing else. He kept driving for another half hour, by
then I was really freaking out. I tried to ask again where we were going but he
told me to shut up. Said I had this coming. That it took him a while but he had
figured out my game. I had no idea what he was talking about, I tried to ask
him but he started squeezing my thigh painfully hard. I was terrified.

“By the time he stopped the car I
was so scared I couldn’t move. He told me to get out, but I couldn’t. Fear had
completely taken over my body. He got out and came around my side of the car,
yanking the door open he got in my face, unclipped my belt and told me again in
a deadly calm voice to get out of the car. But I still couldn’t move. I just
sat there clutching the little bag I had brought with me. I had my phone but I
couldn’t think of a way to make a call without him noticing.

“He grabbed my wrist and pulled
me out of the car, but my legs weren’t working so I fell flat on my face in the
dirt. I had no idea where we were. There were lots of trees. It wasn’t
somewhere id been before. Then I remembered him telling me when we started
dating that he had a cabin out at the lake just out of the city. I doubted that
even if I could get a moment alone with my phone that it would get any signal
up here.

“I felt sharp pain spit through
my head when he grabbed a hand full of my hair and hauled me to my feet. I’m
not sure how he got me into the cabin; things get a bit patchy from here. I had
scrapes on my palms and cheek from falling out of the car. He was mad at me,
said I’d gone and messed up my pretty face. I wanted to vomit, I started dry
heaving but my stomach was empty. I was sitting on a couch in a large open
sitting area in front of a fire place. It wasn’t lit, but there was a pile of
wood sitting in it, as if waiting to be set alight.

“I looked around the room but I
couldn’t see him. I thought this would probably be my only chance to escape,
not that I knew where I would go. Anywhere was better than being here. Just as
I got to my feet to make a run for the front door he appeared. He had a hand
full of zip ties, and a roll of duct tape. He told me to sit down, but again I
couldn’t move. Just the sight of him had me frozen like a statue.

“He didn’t look like the nice guy
I had been dating anymore. He had this feral look in his eyes, and a sneer on
what I once thought was a kind gentle face. He stalked over to me and slapped
me hard enough to make me stumble back onto the couch. I could feel blood
seeping from my lip. Before I could wipe it away he had my hands behind my back
securing them with the zip ties.

“He jerked at my pony tail again
ripping my head back. I remember wishing I hadn’t done my hair up like that. He
ran his tongue up my neck, and I started to dry heave again, so he threw me on
the floor. My nice red dress was ruined, and now bunched up around my waist. I
could see blood pooling around my head, soaking into the timber flooring. I’d
hit my head pretty hard when I had landed. My vision was starting to blur.

“I wished my hearing had been impaired
too, he knelt down beside me on the floor. I could hear him unclasping his belt
buckle. He told me I had been teasing him for weeks and he’d had enough. That
the only reason he’s taken me out in the first place was because he thought I’d
be and easy lay. He said that he was actually glad I had played him, that it
would make it more fun for him to take me like this. Said I deserved everything
he had planned for me. He started going into detail about all the sordid things
he had in store.

“My mind started to shut down, I
couldn’t face the reality of what I knew was about to happen to me. But then
someone started bashing on the front door. He pushed my face down harder into
the floor, and told me to keep my mouth shut or he’d call some of his friends
to come join the party. For good measure he jammed his foot into my ribs with
such force I swear I felt them break. He grabbed the duct tape he had earlier
and put a strip across my mouth.

“He left me there, trying to pull
as much air through my now broken, bloodied nose, while he made his way over to
the door. I could hear him refastening his pants. I lay there praying that it
was someone coming to rescue me. But nobody knew I was here. Nobody was going
to save me. I thought I was going to pass out, my mind was consumed by the pain
engulfing my body.”

I wiped the tears from my cheeks.
Brayden had wrapped me in a blanket, but I was so submerged in my memories I
hadn’t noticed him do it.

“You don’t have to tell me
anymore Stella. I don’t like what reliving this is doing to you. I’m so, so
sorry. You don’t have to do this.”

He pulled me into his big warm
chest, and I nuzzled in closer, as if I could bury myself in his warmth. One of
his hands rested gently on the back of my head, the other was running soothing
circles over my back. I could have stayed like that forever, until I felt
Fergus squirming in my lap trying to get free. I sat back a little so he could
escape, but kept my head pressed to Brayden’s shoulder. As soon as Fergus was
gone I moulded every inch of my body to Brayden’s.

I had to finish. I couldn’t leave
my story there. He would assume the wrong thing. He already was. I had to get
it all out in the open, if there was ever going to be anything between us. I
found myself hoping that there would be. I could see a future with Brayden. A
future where I wasn’t scared all the time. A future where I would finally feel
safe, protected and happy. I knew in my heart I could trust him. I could feel
him in my soul. This man, in such a short time had changed my whole outlook on
my future. I was beginning to think I could have one.