Saying Goodbye (16 page)

~

Mark was in denial.

This was not happening.

Billy kept sucking, pushing into his ass, making wave after wave of his climax hit. The air felt icy to his naked skin and Billy, fully clothed, the powerhouse he was, had ravished him. Ravished him like he had fantasized he would.

The only thing missing was the captain’s uniform. But Mark had the SWAT team’s gear already fully loaded in his head.

His cock had softened but Billy kept nursing it, lying on the floor between Mark’s legs, massaging Mark’s balls and holding his soft cock in his mouth.

Hot tears ran down Mark’s face as he felt both ultimate bliss and unbearable grief.

Billy finally released his suction on Mark’s cock and crawled up Mark’s body to his mouth.

When Mark tasted his own cum and smelled his scent on Billy’s skin, he reached for Billy’s jaw and then held him with his knees, rocking Billy side to side.

Billy swirled his tongue around Mark’s
,
snaking his arm under Mark’s low
er
back and raising Mark into his arms.

Mark was so dizzy he felt as if he would pass out. Finally he parted from Billy’s kiss, needing
air
, nee
ding to weep, needing to stop
.

Billy squeezed him so tight it was painful.

He held Mark, cupping his head against his own and rocked with him.

As the pleasure from his groin subsided, Mark knew the gravity of the deed. He began to sob uncontrollably.

“Shh, baby. Hush.” Billy kissed his cheek and neck.

“Oh God!” Mark wailed. “Oh God, no!”

“Shhh
…
okay. Shhh.” Billy’s voice cracked and he choked on his words.

“How could we?” Mark cried. “Oh, God, how could we?”

“Shhh. It will be all right.”

“No!” Mark sobbed. “
It will never be all right
!”

~

Alex kept getting mental pictures of seeing Steve jerking off
. Again and again that sight
wash
ed
over him. He held his paperwork with his lines for the next scene in his hand, but he wasn’t reading them.

Giovani leaned against Alex from the side. “Is boring when we are not in the scene, no?”

“Huh?” Alex came around from his daydream and looked at the paperwork. “It gives me a chance to memorize the lines.”

“The lines. No. There is hardly a word to speak.” Giovani pointed to the small amount of dialogue. “Is all action. We no speak much at all. You don’t worry so much.”

Alex looked at Giovani. “In r
eal life do you like men or wome
n?”

Giovani smiled brightly, since his character was supposed to be bisexual. “Why? You want to make love?”

“No. Just curious.”

“I like both. Like you, yes?”

“No. I only like men.” Alex looked at the
army of
crew members always moving to get the scene’s lighting and background perfect.

“No!” Giovani appeared surprised. “How you say you no like women? You need to meet someone here. Italian women
…
mmm.” Giovani kissed his fingers in a gesture of delicious.

“And, I’m married.” Alex smiled. “So, no. Thanks.” He read his dialogue again.

“Many men are married. So? A little on the side? Keeps things nice.”

“Ha! I wish.” Alex thought about Steve. “No. It keeps things bad.”

“You Americans, you no know how to live. You think everything so serious.” He waved Alex away dismissively and left.

Alex touched the finger of his left hand. While he was filming he was not allowed to wea
r his rings. His hand felt naked
. He checked the time. He hoped tonight when he was through filming Billy would finally be online.

“Beau?” one of the assistants to Mr Ford called Alex over. “Let’s go. Get ready for your scene.”

Alex nodded and left the paperwork behind, going over the lines in his head.
Billy better be online tonight, or
I am
going to jerk off with Steve.

Steve ate lunch at a buffet Jason and Ewan had set up in the kitchen/dining area. His phone hummed and Steve thought of Alex and went for it quickly.

Adam and Jack were filling their plates, standing in a
short
line that had formed
near the buffet
. Steve was bored out of his mind without Mark here and dying to escape.
He read his phone and tilted his head curiously
, putting it to his ear
. “Billy?”

“Steve.”

“What’s up? Alex has been trying to get a hold of you and going crazy.” Steve put his fork down on his plate and wiped his mouth with his napkin, trying not to have guilty thoughts.

“I was at a training exercise at work. Lo
ok, you need to come back to LA now. Aren’t you guys coming home today?
”

“
Yes, later tonight.
Why?” Steve wondered if Billy had found out about the phone sex and wanted to kick his ass.

“Mark shouldn’t be alone.”

“Mark?” Steve noticed both Jack and Adam turn his way when he said Mark’s name. “What are you talking about?”

“Can you just get the fuck back to LA?”

Steve stood up and felt his adrenalin amp up with panic. “What the fuck happened, Sharpe?”

Jack put his plate down and hurried to Steve’s side with Adam.

A noise of either anguish or frustration came from Billy.

“Sharpe!” Steve yelled into the phone as the rest of the men in the room took notice.

“He’s not eating. He’s not doing well.”

“How the fuck do you know?” Steve clenched his jaw and Jack began to look hostile.

“I don’t want to leave him alone. You need to get your ass back here.”

“You don’t want to leave Mark alone?” Steve met Jack’s gaze and Steve was about to go ballistic. “Why the fuck are you with Mark?”

Jack muttered
, “I don’t fucking believe this.
”

Adam touched Jack’s arm. “Calm down.”

“He wanted to see the SWAT team train, all right?” Billy breathed heavily into the phone.

“Are you with him
right now
?” Steve had to get the hell out of Paradise or he would explode.

“Yes. But he wants me to leave.”

“Where? Where the hell are you?”

Jack left the room abruptly. Adam appeared torn but stood by Steve.

“I’m at your place. Steve, he’s having some kind of breakdown.”

The urge Steve had to get home was like nothing he had felt before. He would steal a car if he had to.
He should have rented a car and driven home yesterday
.
“Why
is he having a breakdown
? He went to a training exercise with you
and
?”

Adam grabbed Steve’s arm and took him out of the kitchen since the conversation was becoming private and their friends were listening.

“And…”

Steve began breathing fire. “Tell me, Sharpe!”

“He just needs to eat.
”

“You lying sack of shit!” Steve was led to the bedroom by Adam. He found Jack packing his bag quickly, shoving clothing into it,
and
appearing out of his mind with anger.

“What am I supposed to do?” Billy asked, sounding weak and upset.

“Did he tell you about Randy?”

Adam began packing Steve’s bag and his own.

“Randy? You mean Randy Dawson?” Billy asked, “What the hell happened with Randy?”

Steve assumed Mark was still reacting to the battle they had over his and Billy’s contact with Randy. “Did Mark tell you? Is that why you’re there?”

“What the fuck happened between Mark and Dawson?” Billy yelled in fury.

Steve heard a whimper in the background. “Is that Mark?
”
He spotted both Adam and Jack on their phones arranging for transportation back to LA. “Billy! Put Mark on the phone! Now!”

In the background Steve could hear Mark in tears, saying, “No
…
no…”

Billy came back on the phone. “He won’t speak to you.”

“Fuck!” Steve
balled his fist. “Stay with him.
You hear me
?
Stay with him!”

A moan came from Billy which Steve could not understand.
It sounded as if Billy was reluctant.
“He wants me to go. Steve, he’s going crazy.”

“Fuck!” Steve shouted at Jack, “I have got to get back
now
!”

Adam
cupped the phone. “We’re trying but the goddamn jet isn’t booked until late tonight!
”

Steve heard Jack shouting into his phone, “I don’t care how much it is. I need three tickets to LA now!
This is an emergency!
”

Steve sat on the bed and rubbed his face. “Billy, hold the phone to Mark. Please.”

“Will do.”

Steve could hear Mark
crying. “Baby?
” Steve felt sick. “Baby, talk to me
.
”

“No
…
go away…”

Steve jumped to his feet and
was about to kill someone. “Mark!”

Billy said softly, “He keeps trying to lock himself in the bedroom. Fuck. Steve.”

“Get his pills,” Steve said as Jack and Adam grabbed their overnight bag and left the room.

“His pills?” Billy asked.

“Yes! Get his valium and sleeping pills, Sharpe. You got that?”

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No!” Steve kept talking as Adam spoke to Ewan about getting them a ride to the airport, now.

“Oh fuck. Where are his fucking pills?” Billy
gro
aned and Steve couldn’t believe how weak he sounded. So unlike the captain’s usual self.

“Stay with him.
You got that
?
” Steve followed Jack and Adam outside to a garage where Jason was pulling a black sedan out for them.

A sob came from Billy and he said, “I’ll try.”

“You’ll do better than try
.
” Steve sat in the back seat as Jason began to dri
ve them down the rutty lane; Jack beside Jason, Adam beside Steve.

“Let me go.”

“Billy!” Steve looked at his phone and could see the connection was gone.

Jack’s jaw was twitching as he sat tensed up like a panther in the passenger’s front seat. Adam was trying to remain calm.

Jason kept quiet, driving.

Finally, as if he could not stop himself, Jack spun around and snarled. “What the fuck is Mark doing with Billy?”

“Jack. Calm down.” Adam held up his hand.

Steve held his phone in his hand and said, “Billy said he took Mark to a SWAT training exercise.”

Adam tilted his head curiously. “Why would that make Mark upset? That’s his d
ream come true.
”

Jack and Steve exchanged
stern
glances.

“No.” Steve shook his head. “No, fucking way.”

Jack faced forward and Steve could just about hear the thoughts in Jack’s head.

Steve tried to call Mark. But his phone went to voicemail.

~

His arms to his sides,
Billy held his phone and stood over Mark as he sat on the floor of the living room, curled into a tight ball, his knees bent, his arms wrapped around them. Tears ran from Mark’s eyes.

Billy picked up Mark’s jacket and searched the pockets. He located
Mark’
s phone and a condom. He tossed
the jacket back
over the sofa.

“Where do you keep your pills?” Billy crouched down in front of Mark.

“You must leave.” Mark appeared
pale
.

“I will. The minute Steve walks through that door.” Billy tilted his head to the entrance
of the home
.

Mark covered his face.

“What the hell happened between you and Dawson?”

“Oh God!” Mark struggled to get to his feet, using the wall.

Billy reached out to help him but Mark
jerk
ed away from his touch.

“Get out!” Mark yelled, crying.

“No way. Are you kidding me?” Billy stepped closer and Mark hit the wall when he stepped back. “Christ, Mark
,
a
t least go lie down. You look like you’re about to pass out.”

“How many times must I ask you to get out?” Mark held the wall behind him and braced himself.

“I can’t
,
” Billy choked on his words. “What will you do to yourself?”

Mark struggled to walk to the front door, but Billy was standing between him and the way out. When Billy went to touch Mark, Mark
flinched
. “Do not touch me.”

Billy held up his hands. “Okay.”

Mark used one hand on the sofa to make his way towards the door.

Billy tried to block his path and direct Mark up the stairs.

“If you do not leave, I have to
.
” Mark
’s
body trembled
in spasms
.

“Let you drive? Are you crazy?”

“You are all driving me bloody crazy!” Mark grabbed his own hair in anguish. “I can’t stand it! I need to be left alone! Why must everyone hang on me? Why?”

“We are not hanging on you. We care about you.”

“Then get out!” Mark showed his teeth.

Billy had no idea what he was dealing with. Suddenly he sympathized with Steve
. E
ven though Alex was a handful, Alex could be trusted alone. Mark? No way.

And
he
did this. Billy had no one to blame but himself. Why didn’t he just drop Mark off and go home?

Why?

“Can we sit and discuss this?” Billy pointed to the sofa.

“Discuss it?” Mark appeared completely
insane
. “Discuss the fact that I have fucked my son’s husband?”

“Yes!” Billy gestured to the couch. “It was just a stupid act. Okay? Let’s just forget it.”

“Oh, you have surely lost your mind, Captain Sharpe.” Mark picked up his jacket from the back of the sofa.

Billy’s impulse was to stop Mark from putting it on but he didn’t. “Blame me. Okay? You said no. You tried to stop it.”

“Shut up!” Mark showed his teeth in a snarl and put his jacket on.

“Mark. I mean it. I did it. Not you.”

Mark began walking to the kitchen.

Billy followed. “For fuck’s sake. Sit down and let me at least make you tea or something.”

Mark reached for keys on a small frame of hooks.

“What are you doing?” Billy tried to grab Mark.

Mark spun around with fury in his eyes. “Do not touch me again.”

“I’m about to hogtie you, Richfield, if you don’t stay put!”

“Who do you think you are? Hm?” Mark puffed up. “All of you! You think you can control me like I’m a puppet! A stupid airhead model!”

“No way.” Billy shook his head. “We love you and we don’t want you to get hurt.”

“Get hurt?” Mark cried as he replied. “You don’t want me to get hurt?”

Billy held up his hand in admission. “Yes. But I get it. All we do is hurt you. Right?”

“You treat me as if I’m an idiot.” Mark walked to the door which led to the garage.

“Oh fuck no.” Billy grabbed for Mark to stop him.

Mark shoved Billy backwards with a hell of a lot more power than Billy ever imagined Mark possessed. He stumbled back, reaching for the island counter
to prevent landing on his ass
.

“Keep your hands off me.” Mark entered the garage and Billy heard the double door rolling up.

“Oh fuck.” Billy
ran
after Mark, seeing Mark headed to his sports car. “No! Mark, no! You are in no shape to drive!”

Mark ignored Billy and sat behind the wheel of his TVR.

Billy went for the door
handle
but Mark had locked it. “Mark.” Billy pounded his fist on the glass. “Mark, I’m sorry. Mark! What do you want me to say? To do?”

Mark started the en
gine and it roared like the powerhouse
muscle car
it was.

Billy looked at where his truck was parked. Sadly it was not blocking the wide driveway completely.

“Don’t! Mark! Please!” Billy was about to stand at the front grill when Mark hit the gas and the supercharged engine made the back tires
squeal
and smoke.

The race car rocketed out of the garage to the road, and vanished.

Billy stood in its wake staring into space and about to vomit
,
he was so sick to his stomach.