Scandalous (14 page)

“
Oh, really?
”
Kenny said as if he found that hard to believe.

“
Yeah,
”
Roman said, joining in my lie.
“
I've known Kyla for a while now.
”

“
Yeah,
”
Kenny said, looking at Roman a little closer.
“
You do look familiar.
Did we meet at one of their parties or something?
”

I was gonna die for sure now.
His recognition of Roman had to be from yesterday, when he saw him standing in the back row after we'd exchanged our vows.
I prayed that he wouldn't put it together.

“
Nah, we've never met; I just got one of those faces.
”
Roman laughed.
“
If we'd met, I would've remembered you, trust that.
”
He laughed again while Kenny and I just frowned.

“
Well, we'd better get going.
”

Can I tell you how grateful I was that my husband was finally ready to put an end to this little encounter?

“
Yeah, okay.
You kids have fun on your honeymoon.
Nice meeting you, Kenny
,
and I'll see you around, Jasmine.
”

Roman looked at me when he said that and my hope was that it was just one of those generic goodbyes. But the way he chuckled as he walked away, I knew that he meant exactly what he said
--
he planned to see me around.
Well he would never see me again, if I could help it.

“
He seems like a nice guy,
”
Kenny said
.
.

“
He's all right, I guess.
He's Kyla's friend,
”
I emphasized.

“
Well, Kyla needs to keep him away from Jefferson.
”

I frowned.
“
Why?
”

“
'Cause,
”
Kenny lowered his voice.
“
I think the guy is gay.
”

There was nothing in my mouth, but I felt like I was choking.
“
Excuse me?
”

“
Come on, where's your gaydar?
Didn't you see the way he looked at me?
The way he said he would've remembered me if we had met?
”
Kenny chuckled.
“
Trust me.
Men know gay men.
”

Men didn't know jack!
But what was I supposed to say?
Could I tell him that he needed to trust me
--
that that man was far from being gay?

Of course, I couldn't say that. And it was cool with me, actually.
Let Kenny have those thoughts.
This way, he'd never get close to the truth of me and Roman.

Kenny would never have any questions about Roman now.
All of the questions about that man would be left up to me.

Chapter 9

From the moment Kenny and I left Venice Beach until we finally returned to the Ritz last night, I tried my best to get back into a honeymoon state of mind.
And Kenny made a gargantuan effort too.

We walked back into the room. Kenny had worked things out with the hotel staff to have it decorated with rose petals that met us at the front door and led straight into the bedroom.
Inside the bathroom, the
Jacuzzi
tub was already bubbling and waiting for us.

But even though I could see every bit of Kenny's effort, there was nothing I could
do to change my heart.

“
Jasmine, what do you want from me?
”
Kenny asked as I moped over the dinner that he had arranged for us to have out on the balcony.
This wasn't just any dinner. Kenny had filled the table with all of my favorites: a surf and turf feast that would've rivaled any five star restaurant and a chocolate lover's dessert tray with everything from Godiva mousse to a four-layer German chocolate cake.

Still, none of that could erase the fact that when I looked out the window, the gorgeous view of the marina was a scene I could see from my window at work
every day
.
Nothing would take away the fact that I was honeymooning at home.

“
So you don't think you can enjoy any part of this?
”
Kenny asked.

“
I don't know.
”

“
Just because we're in Los Angeles?
”
he asked, as if that concept was completely unbelievable to him.

I waited a moment to gather my thoughts.
To find the right words.
Because I felt that I owed Kenny an explanation, at least.

I said,
“
This dream began for me when I was just a little girl, Kenny.
Kyla and I would play together all the time
--
‘
Wedding Day
’
is what we called the game.
”
I paused as I thought about the way Kyla and I would take big white towels from the linen closet in Kyla's house and tie them around our waists.
Instant wedding gowns.
“
Part of our game, our dream, was where our husbands would take us on our honeymoon.
Kyla had heard of a place called Tahiti, and she never let go of that dream.
”
I had to shake my head a bit as I thought about how, almost twenty years later, Kyla's dream had come true when Jefferson had taken her to Tahiti for their honeymoon.
“
I didn't have a place in mind,
”
I said.
“
I just dreamed of beaches, and mansions and palaces.
”
I paused again and looked straight into my new husband's eyes.
“
Maybe that's why I'm here. I'm home because my dream wasn't big enough.
”
Turning away, I peered over the balcony and took in the nighttime view.
The marina glimmered with lights from the yachts and the restaurants that sprinkled the peninsula.

Kenny reached across the table and wrapped my hand in his. I didn't look at him.
I didn't pull back either.

We sat together, in the silence of the Sunday night, for what felt like hours, but was just a few passing minutes.
I knew Kenny was pondering my words and there was a part of me that hoped what I'd said would make him scoop me up into his arms, carry me to the airport, and jet me off to some faraway place.

He broke the silence.
“
Do you want to just go home?
”

So much for my dreams.
I needed to just accept the fact that this was the best that Kenny had to offer me.

“
No.
”
I shook my head.
“
That would be worse.
”
Tossing my napkin onto the table, I pushed my chair back.
“
Give me a little time to work this out.
I hope I'll be fine
…
really.
I'm going to try my best.
I'll feel better about this in the morning.
”

As I tried to slip past Kenny, he grabbed my hand.
“
I love you, Jasmine.
”

“
I know,
”
I said, looking down at him.

“
I want to make you happy.
”

I nodded, but I still left him on the balcony alone.
Inside the bedroom, I laid down on the bed, exhausted from this first full day of being married.
Was it always going to be like this?
A part of me felt a bit like a brat, felt like I shouldn't give Kenny a hard time about this because this was the best he could do.

Maybe that was the problem.
Maybe Kenny's best would never be enough for me.
I knew for sure he did love me, and it was clear that he'd tried.
But for him to think that I would be excited about being home for my honeymoon just showed that the man I'd exchanged vows with didn't know me at all.

But I couldn't blame him for that because maybe I didn't know myself.

How could I not realize that Kenny and I were a long ways away from the college couple that we used to be?
While he had been in college handling issues that college boys had to deal with, I'd been dealing with men
--
men with money and power.
Maybe that was the problem.
Maybe that was why I couldn't go back to the ordinary.
Because this
--
being in this hotel
--
was nothing more than ordinary.
And
“
ordinary
”
was not an adjective I ever wanted in my life.

I closed my eyes, glad that Kenny hadn't followed me inside and praying that he would stay out of the bedroom until I’d fallen asleep.
Sleep was all I wanted right now.
To sleep and dream about what might have been.

The next time I opened my eyes, daylight was beginning to peek through the window.
That was a bit of a shocker; in my head, it didn't feel like more than thirty minutes had passed.
I stayed in place for a moment, not wanting to disturb Kenny.
His arm was around my waist and I was pressed up against him, my back to his front.
At least we slept like a happily married couple.

Except for the fact that I was still fully dressed in the outfit I'd worn yesterday.

Gently, I peeled myself away from Kenny's arm and once freed, I rolled over to face him.
Like me, he was still fully dressed.
I guessed he'd come in to
lie
down with me and had fallen asleep, too.

I didn't want to wake him; there was no reason to make him get up now.
After all, what could he possibly have planned for today?
A trip to Disneyland?

I shuddered and pushed myself from the bed.

Inside the bathroom, I doused my face with water, brushed my teeth, then tiptoed out of the bathroom and bedroom, grabbing my purse from the living room.
When I closed the door to the suite behind me, I wasn't sure where I was going
--
a walk along the marina, maybe.
I just needed something that would clear my head, that would help me settle down and realize that Kenny was a good man, and a good man was going to have to be good enough for me.

The hotel's lobby was even grander in the early morning without the hustle and bustle of the guests.
With just one suit-clad guy behind the front desk, it was hard not to appreciate the hotel's grandeur.
Elegance was in every space of this place, from the sparkling marble that adorned the floors and the walls to the oversized crystal chandeliers that glittered as the early morning sun shone through the stained glass dome ceiling.
For a moment, I thought about just settling in the lobby, soaking up this exquisiteness.
Maybe in the center of this splendor, I could find a way to appreciate the fact that this was where my husband wanted to spend our first week of life together.

But what I needed most was air.
I needed to get outside and walk off some of this tension that had taken root and was growing inside of me.
Reaching down into my purse for my sunglasses, I pushed through the glass door and bumped right into someone.

“
I'm sorry,
”
I said, looking up.
My heart became a jackhammer.
“
Roman!
”

“
Jasmine!
”
he exclaimed as if he was just as shocked to see me.

“
What are you doing here?
”
we said together.

But I wasn't about to fall for his act.
He knew what I was doing here.
Kenny had told him yesterday.

So, I repeated,
“
What are you doing here?
”
because he was the one who had no reason to be in this place.

He grinned.
“
Didn't I just ask you the same thing?
”

I couldn't figure out why he thought anything I said was funny.
I didn't find humor in this and really, this man was scaring me now.
Hanging out at the Ritz this early in the morning?
What was he planning to do?
Come up to the room where Kenny and I were staying?

That thought scared me, enough to let me know it was time to stop this.
I turned around and began my march to the front desk.
I wasn't exactly sure what I was going to say to the clerk, but I was going to make sure that Roman didn't get within shouting distance of me and Kenny ever again.

“
Where are you going?
”
he asked, following me.

“
I'm going to report you
--
because it's obvious that you're stalking me.
”

He must've thought that I was kidding because he had the nerve to laugh.
But then as I kept moving, his laughter went away.

“
Jasmine, wait.
What are you doing?
”

I took more steps.

“
You've got to be kidding.
I'm not stalking you.
”
I was two steps away from the attendant when Roman said,
“
Please.
If you do this, you could mess me up.
I'm not stalking you.
I'm here for an interview.
”

The only reason I turned around was because I had to look into his eyes to see if he honestly thought that I was that much of a fool.

“
Really,
”
he said.

“
You're here for an interview.
Here at the Ritz.
”
My questions sounded like statements.
“
Please, you're gonna have to come up with something better than that.
”

“
No really.
Take a look at this.
”
He pulled an envelope from his pocket, then unfolded the paper that had been inside.

I didn't know why I was even entertaining this crazy man; it had to be my natural curiosity.
Tentatively taking the paper, I scanned it.

As I read, he spoke,
“
I was really impressed with this place when I came here the other day,
”
he said as if he owed me an explanation.
“
So I checked out the spa and asked if they had any personal trainers.
The manager said that was something they were considering and she scheduled an interview with me this morning.
”

My eyes took in every word of the letter and I couldn't believe it.
His explanation lined up with the letter I was reading from a Lolita Carter.
Like he said, he had an interview scheduled for this morning.
It was the last lines that caught my attention:

I cannot tell you how much I'm looking forward to meeting with you.
(I bet she was, especially with a name like Lolita.) You're the kind of man who could add to the Ritz Carlton staff.

Add what?

Then I asked myself why did I care?
Whatever, she could have him.

He said,
“
So you see,
”
he pulled the letter from my hand, folded it back into the envelope and tucked it inside his pocket,
“
I'm not stalking you.
”