Scarred (30 page)

I cringed at the thought of what those two had done and was once again grateful for complete lack of knowledge regarding their bedroom shenanigans.

“She doesn't speak for me.”

“She seems to think she does.”

“She thinks a lot of things that are delusional.”

He eyed me tightly, cocking his head to the right.

“Where is she now?”

“Sleeping.”

“Liar.”

“Prove it.”

“I want to see her.”

“You want to
fuck
her,” I said, feeling the lust roll off of him in waves. “You want to fuck me too.”

“True. But I've wanted that for a long time now. The thing with Scarlet is a freaky little bonus.”

“Look, this has been fun and all, Matty, but I need to get my phone and get out of here before you and I both find ourselves in a world of hurt with Sean. Trust me, he's not to be fucked with—
ever
. And if anyone has a claim to me, it's him,” I said, rolling out from under him. “Your Changing,” I said, walking to the far side of the room. “It could cause some
problems
. For both of us. I need you to lay low—behave. And trust me when I tell you something. Our asses are
both
hanging out in the breeze here right now.”

“I'd prefer your ass be hanging out here,” he said, pointing to his rather perky nether regions.

I ignored his comment, tossing things around the room in search of the one little thing that could cause me a world of drama, or at least more than I already had. When I flipped the mattress up and across the room, I screeched at the sight of the tiny silver device. I grabbed it, unhooked the battery, and pulled out the SIM card. The GPS function would be disabled, and I hoped it wasn't too late. Sean may have been out of town, but the boys were always available to his every command.

“Awesome,” I said, heading out the door, “I need to go make a call...
far
away from here.”

“Not so fast,” he said, grabbing me around my waist, pushing his body against my back. “I want to see her.
Now
.”

“Not going to happen, Matty. You need to let me go.”

“
You
need to let me see her,” he said, applying an uncomfortable amount of force to my stomach. “She wants to see me. I can feel her.”

He wasn't bluffing. The headache I was amassing from the screaming and pounding she was doing inside my mind was proof of his point. Still, it wasn't an option I was willing to concede.

“If I don't make this call, we're both dead,” I said, working hard to breathe. “If Sean finds out that I infected you, he'll have to kill us both.”

“Interesting,” he said, scratching his face.

“What's interesting?” I asked.

“Nothing. So what is he, some sort of werewolf assassin?”

“That's precisely what he is, and, more specifically, he's the number one assassin for our particular breed of werewolf. He's been hunting us for centuries.”

“And yet he lets you live,” he said with a hint of mocking. “You must have made that
very
worth his while.”

“What can I say? He has a soft spot for me. Always has.”

“Maybe he'll have one for me too,” he scoffed.

“No, I'm pretty sure he'd kill you the second he laid eyes on you.”

“So what do you propose then?”

“I propose you let me call him and make nicey-nice over the phone so he thinks everything is fine,” I said, trying to wriggle free. “After that, I don't have a clue how to fix this, but I know one thing is for sure. If you bring any attention to yourself whatsoever, the jig is up. Sean and his brothers will hunt you down, and as soon as they see what you are, they'll be coming for me next.”

He released me and I staggered to the doorway, gasping for breath.

“So you want me to pretend that everything is business as usual?”

“Exactly. I'll see you at dance tomorrow night. Until then...eat something, fix up this shithole of a room, and try to keep your nose clean,” I said, walking away. “And under
NO
circumstances are you to Change, do you hear me?”

“You didn't seem to mind last night.”
“I wasn't there last night, and please keep those details to yourself. I don't need to know what you two furries were doing.”

“They call it doggy-style for a reason...”

“Oh my God, Matty!”

“That's what she said,” he laughed, throwing his head back in self-amusement.

“You know where to find me if you need anything
not
sexually related. I'll keep you posted about Sean.”

“My offer still stands about those two,” he said, suddenly becoming all business-like.

“You wouldn't stand a chance, Matty. Let me handle them.”

He growled in response, and I left before he had a chance to say anything else. The whole encounter had been far more anticlimactic than I feared it would be, and I knew for that yin I was in for a bitch of a yang. I tried to push the possibilities out of my mind as I got in the car and sped off for downtown. I had a call to make and it needed to count. If I fucked it up, it was as good as putting the revolver to my own head and pulling the trigger. Maybe that would have been the easiest way out.

I stopped at the gas station a few blocks from the studio and put my phone back together. I knew I had to call him, but I was unable to shake the sneaking suspicion that I was walking into a trap, like lying about where I'd been was a test Sean had manufactured, determined I would fail, but hoping I would pass. Regardless of my intuition, the outcome was the same—I had to place the call.

Twirling the phone round and round in my hand, I searched for the words to say to him. There was a feeling in my gut that gnawed away at me. He
knew
—he had to. I couldn't believe that he hadn't already found out where my phone was if it was so simple to find out in the first place. It would explain why he was so angry with me outside the cafe. He probably called to have it traced after being unable to find it at Ronnie's. Since I hadn't told him what had happened, he wanted to make sure it hadn't been something stupid. Instead of stumbling upon another of my ridiculous blunders, he'd have found out that I was a cheating whore.
Last night was the full moon. Don't think I'm going to forget that little detail
.
Sean never forgot anything. Ever.

With a lump in my stomach, I did the only thing I could. I put the phone back together and dialed him up, sweating profusely, even though the air-conditioning was on full, blasting me in the face. Ring after ring, I reminded myself of the plan.

“You're going to tell him the truth...you're going to tell him the truth...you're going to tell him the—”

Voicemail. He didn't even bother to answer.

“He's busy,” I told myself as I waited for beep. “Hey, it's me. I...I really need to talk to you. It's about last night. I still don't remember what happened, but there's something you should know. It's
really
important. Call me when you can,” I said, before hesitating. “I...I love you, Sean.”

I clicked the end button and ran my thumb over the screen several times before putting it away. As I fired the car up and sped off toward the interstate, I wiped the tears from my cheeks that I initially hadn't felt escape. A nap was in order when I got home. I needed to sleep away some of the drama from my life. It was wishful thinking though, knowing that Cooper would want a play-by-play of the whole thing down to the very last detail. Sleep wouldn't be allowed until he was satisfied.

As I drove, I wondered if maybe it wouldn't have been easier to just blurt out what I'd done in the message. Not having to hear the varied emotions in Sean’s voice would have been music to my ears. Instead, I had set myself up for a frenzied call that would only further agitate him with the news that I'd once again fucked something up royally. Maybe if I'd just told him what was wrong when he gave me my get-out-of-jail-free pass, he could have made it all go away. But I knew why I didn't. Making it all go away meant making
Matty
go away, and I still just wasn't able to saddle myself with that responsibility. Even if Sean had let me live, I wouldn't have wanted to.

I don't know what I hoped the outcome of my confession would be, but I was becoming readily convinced that it would be better than living a lie slathered with guilt. The upside was that he would at least know that I hadn't betrayed him, whoring myself out on the full moon. A tiny smile spread on my face at the thought. A fuck-up I may have been, but a slut without morals I was not.

Maybe there was an extenuating circumstances clause somewhere in the rules. It was possible; Cooper didn't know everything. I drove through the city clinging to that feeble hope, the notion that maybe, just maybe, not all was lost.

23

I texted Cooper to let him know my ETA, then tossed the phone in the center console. When it vibrated in response, I picked it up to see Alan calling me, not Cooper.

“Alan? What's up?”

“I had an interesting chat with Sean the other day,” he said, sounding terribly official. “I've been looking into some leads he gave me about your boy, the Rev. They're all
dead
ends. Any idea as to why that would be?”

“Well, Sean told me he was no longer a threat. I guess you should interpret that any way you like.”

“And you wouldn't have any idea how he got demoted to that status, would you?”

“If you're asking me if I witnessed a crime, Alan, the answer is no. I didn't see anything. In person or otherwise.”

What I told him was technically true. I hadn't seen the Rev get shot, so in truth I hadn't seen his demise, but I sure as hell knew it happened. I was also conveniently present for the bonfire they had with his body afterward, but I thought I'd answer what was asked only, without embellishing.

“I think your boy Sean knows what happened to him.”

“Then I guess you'd better bring him down to the precinct and interrogate him.”

“I think I will once he gets back,” he said curtly. “Sounds like he's opened a can of worms down at Langley from what McGurney told me.”

“Well, it is the CIA. I don't think they're known for full disclosure or being on the up and up.”

“True,” he said, “but McGurney seemed rattled.
Really
rattled. It's not easy to shake an Army Ranger to the core, Ruby. There's something more to this, isn't there? Something you're not telling me.”

“I wouldn't know,” I said, trying to be evasive. “I haven't seen the file.”

“
Bullshit
, Ruby.”

“No, I really haven't seen it.”

“I know you haven't, but you're covering something up and I don't like it. This is more than business between us; this shit is personal. You endangered my family, Ruby. My
family
! You don't fuck with someone like that and expect them to take it lightly.”

“If I
could
tell you something I would, but I can't. I need you to trust me for right now. Sean will take care of it.”

“What's his deal anyway? Who is he, and, better yet, who is he to
you
?” he asked, sounding protective.

“Sean does...well, he's sort of a freelance kind of guy. He dabbles in security, surveillance...”

“Muscle for hire?” he added.

“I think he tries to keep his hands clean for the most part, Alan. That's all I'm going to say about that.”

“But who is he to
you
?” he asked again.

“He's my boyfriend. Sort of.”

“And Cooper?”

“Cooper's my roommate; we've been over that like a million times.”

“I know, but I always thought you were lying to me. Something in your eyes always says he's more than that.”

“My best friend?”

“Nice try, but that's not what your eyes say either.”

“Well, whatever they're telling you isn't true. We're friends and nothing more.”

“Too bad.”

“Why is that too bad?”

“Cause I actually like him,” he said with a sigh.

“Meaning you don't like Sean.”

“You could take it that way, yes,” he said plainly. “More like I don't trust him, and I don't like what he's got you mixed up in.”

“Yeah...you can't really blame Sean for that one. I seem to be pretty proficient at getting myself into trouble. He's always trying to get me out of it.”

“At any cost?”

Yes.

“
No
,” I protested, “but he'll go to great lengths; I'll give you that.”

“I'm guessing legalities usually fall secondary to his goal.”

“You'd have to ask him about that, Alan. I'm pretty sure he doesn't have a criminal record though.”

“Oh, I'm sure he doesn't,” he said sarcastically. “Guys like him usually don't.”