Scattering Like Light (29 page)

“Of course, it’s what I’ve been waiting for. When you become human again you get given the knowledge of how to save everyone, but not the means, not until someone else finds the amulet. I’ve been waiting to do this for decades.”

“And what exactly are you going to do?” Matthew was trying hard, I could tell, but he couldn’t keep the edge of suspicion from his voice.

“I’m going to help you to die, properly this time. Alex has agreed to do her bit so that all of you can go together.”

“Is this true, Alex? I’m sorry if I sound a bit ungrateful, but Veronica was always bit of a loose cannon. Caused no end of trouble when she was here.”

“It’s true, Matthew,” I said. “I’ve been talking to her for a while, and she genuinely wants to help. I
can
release you all individually, but it would be horrible to have to do it. Together we can help you all at once.”

“Do you trust her?” His eyebrows knitted further together as he asked, and made him look even more like a thug than usual.

“I do, I think. She seems sincere.”

“I know I was a bit of rebel, Matthew,” interrupted Veronica.
“But I’m much older now, and appalled at what I did. Please, let me have this chance to make things right.”

“And can we do it quickly?” I pleaded. I lowered my voice as I leaned in close to Matthew. “I think there is a tiny chance that I can save Callum, but only if we are quick. Please?”

His eyes twinkled as he looked away from Veronica and towards me. “Anything for you, Alex. None of us wants to be here a second longer than necessary anyway.” He quickly looked over his shoulder at the hundreds of Dirges around the gallery. Most of them were on their feet and leaning towards us, desperate to understand what was going on. He glanced back at Veronica. “If this is one of your tricks, lady, you will regret this for the rest of your days, I guarantee it.”

Veronica held herself as straight as she could, lifting her chin as she answered him. “I deserve that, I know, but I’m here to do what’s right, whatever the cost.”

Matthew nodded once, briefly, then turned back to me. “I’ll tell them all what’s happening. What do you need us to do?”

It was Veronica who answered. “I need everyone in a big circle, each Dirge holding the amulet of the one next to them. Alex will hold one end of the chain and start the process, and I’ll be standing next to her at the other end where it will finish.”

“I’ll go last then,” he said. “Next to you. Alex, you put Callum first in line, make sure he gets to where he needs to go.” I couldn’t be entirely sure but I think he winked at me.

I was scanning around the crowd of featureless black hoods as I spoke. “And Olivia must be next to him, because she’ll be frightened. We’ll need to help her.”

“Of course,” agreed Matthew. “Where is she?”

“Callum’s gone to talk to her.” Even on my tiptoes I couldn’t
pick out either of them. “Can you see them anywhere?”

He scanned around the assembled crowd before visibly relaxing. “Callum’s right behind you, love, with Olivia. Right now, let me talk to everyone.” At that the tingle left my arm and I gently extracted Veronica’s finger from under the amulet.

“OK?” I asked her as she suddenly looked dazed and vacant.

“I can’t believe that I could see them all.” She looked at the amulet almost greedily.

“And they’re all still there, listening to everything we both say,” I reminded her gently. “Are you ready to do what you need to?”

She stood to attention, smoothing the skirt of her cassock. “I’m ready. Let me know when we’re going to begin.”

“I think Matthew is about to start telling the Dirges what’s going to happen, and I need a quick word with Callum.”

She got my drift and nodded sharply, turning away and leaning on the railings, looking down into the body of the cathedral. Far below, the mosaic floor and central gold star gleamed in the slanting sunlight, dust motes highlighting the shards that pierced the gathering gloom. It was getting darker; we had to hurry or the search of the river that was currently going on outside would end, and I had no idea how long it would take for the Dirges to drift in their pools of sparks from the cathedral to the Thames.

I turned towards the door which we had come through earlier, and saw Callum and Olivia waiting. Callum looked tense and Olivia had obviously been crying. She was making her usual strange repetitive movements with her hands. I raised my eyebrows at him and mouthed the words, “Shall I talk to her?” He nodded and whispered in her ear. She slowly raised her tear-streaked face towards me and I lifted my amulet towards hers.

“Olivia, I know this is difficult, but really, it is for the best.”

Olivia sniffed loudly. “Callum’s explained everything, but I don’t understand why we have to do it so quickly.”

“Because I believe that if we get you all in the river right now, as quickly as possible, that Callum might live. I don’t know for sure, and I don’t know about the rest of you, but I know it’s the best chance we’re going to get. If it does work, well, we’ll all be together, I promise you. If it doesn’t you’ll be at peace at last.” I struggled to keep my voice even but I felt the tears pricking my eyes. “No more gathering to do, ever.”

She turned her trusting little face towards me. “Will it hurt?”

I couldn’t lie to her, but neither could I risk her staying behind on her own. “Maybe just a little bit, but it will be very, very quick and you won’t really notice.”

I should have lied. “Noooo!” she wailed, her voice reverberating around my head. “I don’t want it to hurt. I won’t do it.”

“The thing is,” I said quickly, trying to keep her quiet and not upset the others, “we don’t actually know. The key is, though, that you won’t be
here
, you’ll be able to escape this horrible life of continuous misery. I mean, isn’t that worth it?”

She sniffed again and gave the smallest of nods. “I s’pose so.”

“You know it is.” I tried to give her insubstantial hand a reassuring squeeze. “Now, I want you to stand right next to Callum. He’ll go first and you’ll be the next one over. He’ll look after you, as usual. Isn’t that right, Callum?”

He smiled and nodded at Olivia, saying something that I couldn’t hear. Olivia listened to him and then turned back to me. “OK, if you say so. You’d better be right though.”

“I’m sure I am,” I said, mentally crossing my fingers. “We’ll be finished in no time.”

Olivia stepped forward to take her place in the chain of Dirges that snaked around the gallery.

I couldn’t wait any longer. “Callum, I have to do this now. I couldn’t bear it if we were too late.”

He gave me a heart-rending smile and stepped towards the line. But before he took his place he held out his arms and I fell towards him for one final time. This high up he was tantalisingly real but still without quite enough substance for me to hold him. I could see him though, and I drank in his features one last time; his unruly hair, his strong jaw and his perfect, perfect eyes. I knew that whatever happened I would remember the touch of that first kiss, the warmth and strength of his body close to mine. “I love you, Callum, more than you will ever know.”

“Oh, I know, I promise you. And whatever happens I’ll always love you.” He tried to smile as he stepped away from my arms. “See you on the other side!”

Brushing the tears from my eyes I took my place, with Veronica on my left and Callum on my right. Beyond him was Olivia, rigid with fear. Matthew had evidently finished talking to the other Dirges and all the hoods were facing towards us. I took a deep breath: it was time. “OK, Veronica, what do we need to do?”

“Can you all hear me?” she asked in a clear, carrying tone. All the hoods nodded.

“They can hear you,” I muttered, translating for her, realising that from her perspective she was talking to an empty gallery.

“Please stand up and place your hands on the railings.”

As I watched, the hundreds of Dirges, most of who were already standing, stepped forward as if pulled by a string, and gripped the brass rail. I could see hundreds of pale, bony fingers all holding on tight.

“Now place your right hand on top of your neighbour’s left hand so that your wrist is pressed up against their amulet.” There was some quick shuffling and a few heads turned back and forth in confusion, but they seemed to get the hang of what she was asking. Callum had Olivia’s fingers laced between his own to get a good contact with her amulet. Her head was bowed and I could see the tears dripping off her cheeks. Callum leaned in to kiss her on the forehead and whispered something to her. She smiled weakly and lifted her shoulder to wipe her cheek without loosening her grip.

“Is she going to be OK?” I asked as he turned back towards me. He shook his head almost imperceptibly, then leaned towards me as I raised my eyebrows in a silent question.

“She’s losing it; we need to get a move on.”

“OK then, Veronica,” I said urgently. “What’s next?”

“It’s ready. You need to hold my hand and push like you did before.” She raised her voice again. “We’re about to start. Whatever you do, don’t break the chain, OK?”

The hoods nodded, and the air of anticipation was almost unbearable. I stole one last glimpse at Callum to find him looking at me. “I love you,” I whispered.

“I know,” he smiled back. “Go for it!”

I grasped Veronica’s hand on the railing, linking my fingers through hers. She squeezed them slightly, and whispered, “Goodbye, Alex, and thank you,” before shouting across the gallery. “It’s time to go, Dirges. It’s finally over. Good luck on your journeys.”

I turned towards Callum, my heart pounding in my chest and my breath shallow and erratic. Cold fingers of fear walked up my back. I shut my eyes briefly, then, before I could change my mind, I started. Remembering how it felt attacking Lucas was easy, and I let that feeling flow through me, pushing it harder and
harder. The power was like a living thing, much, much stronger in the cathedral than it had been on the little square with Rob, and it leapt from my wrist the second I had the thought. My amulet glowed fiercely and I watched Callum to see the sparks engulf him, but nothing happened. My amulet was pulsing though, and I saw Callum’s eyes open wide with shock at something on the other side of me. I whipped around. My other hand and Veronica’s were a ball of sparks and as I watched the light erupted out of Veronica’s left hand, the one holding Matthew. His face was a picture of wonder as the wave of glittering gold swept up his arm.

“It’s going the wrong way!” I gasped to Veronica, but she didn’t respond. Her eyes were vacant, glassy, and she was swaying slightly.

“Matthew – good luck!” I called over to him as the golden sparks raced up his arm and across his chest, then streaked down his legs. As it made its way down his arm towards the next Dirge in line his face and head were suddenly just a cage of lights, as if he had disappeared from within. The sparks started to fall as a glimmering rain down on to the floor where his feet had been. The glittering wave moved on. A Dirge I had never spoken with and would now never know looked at me in gratitude as the sparks took hold of his body. He gave me a brief smile and mouthed the words “Thank you” before he was consumed by the light. As my arm flexed of its own accord I felt the amulet getting warm, then in an echo in my head I heard the Dirge cry out as he disappeared.

The wave moved on relentlessly.

One by one the Dirges to my left were consumed, and as each one imploded in the network of lights I heard their final cries in my head. I couldn’t believe that I wasn’t hurting them, that I wasn’t inflicting huge pain and suffering, but they stayed in line.
Veronica was now attached to a thin line of lights that snaked round the railing. She seemed incapable of speech. Next to her, in the space where Matthew had been, the puddle of glistening light moved as if it were some strange alien creature, and finding the edge of the balcony it started to drip over. One by one the puddles started to do the same, and the glittering sparks fell to the cathedral floor below. The late afternoon sunshine was being replaced by their soft glow, which cast a hauntingly beautiful light on the old stonework.

I carried on willing the amulet to do its work, to keep going until the wave reached all the way back to me, but it seemed so slow. It was only about a quarter of the way around the gallery and I was conscious that my wrist was becoming extremely warm. I dragged my eyes away from the progress of the sparks to look at the amulet. There was a glow deep within it that swirled and writhed just under the surface, and I realised it was the same movement that I had seen all those weeks ago in the pub when I had just dug it out of the mud. Then it had been calling Callum; now it was taking the Dirges home.

As I watched, the surface of the amulet suddenly juddered and a small crack appeared on one edge. The fear, which I had been getting under control, suddenly leapt up and claimed me again. If the amulet broke during the process, if it shattered now, everything would stop and no more of the Dirges would be rescued. It would leave Callum and Olivia behind, and I would have no way of talking with them. I would have failed completely.

I looked at Callum quickly to see if he had noticed the damage, but even though his amulet was in the same space as mine, his attention was elsewhere. He was watching Olivia.

I leaned slightly forward to get a better view of her. Her
hood had fallen back and her face was rigid with fear. Watching the creeping progress of the glittering wave was freaking her out, and as each Dirge cried out, she flinched. Callum’s hand was tight on hers, stopping her from shaking, but the Dirge on the other side hadn’t got such a good grip. Although I couldn’t hear her I could see her thrashing about, shaking her head.

“Olivia, please. It’ll be fine.” Callum was trying to calm her down. “We’ll be together, you and me. I’ll keep on looking after you, I promise. Try and take a deep breath and wait for your turn. It won’t be long now.”

The sparks had progressed to nearly the halfway point; still far too slowly for my liking. I tried to gently increase the pressure on the amulet, but the fire in it was becoming too hot. “Make sure she stays in line, Callum, please!” I hissed under my breath.