Scottish Romance: Highlander Romance: Highland Whisper (Scotland Romance) (6 page)

A few hours later, I glanced at my watch.

“Oh, shit, it’s a little past two in the morning.” He checked his watch too, raising his eyebrows.

“You’re right, I didn’t even notice the time passing by.” I stood up abruptly, accidentally hitting my knee on the piano. I sat back down and cursed lowly, holding my knee with my hands.

“Sorry about that, I keep forgetting to put padding there. Everyone does that.” He placed his warm hand on my knee, and it sent shivers down my spine. I tried to control my legs from shaking as I stood up again, carefully.

“I should get home if I'm going to get up in time to beat Nancy to the studio.” He nodded and closed the piano. I handed him my tea cup awkwardly and ambled over to the door as he left to put it in the kitchen. He had caught up to me by the time I slipped my shoes back on. I turned and looked at him. He looked so lonely to me then. He gazed at me longingly, and I found myself gravitating towards him again.

“I’ve got to go, thank you for teaching me so much,” I whispered, now inches from his face.

“Anytime.” His breath made my knees grew weak, and I turned away and opened the door, walking out quietly.

“See you tomorrow, Jenny.” He closed the door.

I opened my front door a half an hour later, and took off my shoes soundlessly before making my way to the bedroom. I crept through the door; Elliot was asleep. I silently took my clothes off, and held them to my face for a moment. Somehow, his scent had rubbed off on them, and I wondered if he had also been nervous while sitting so close to me. I dropped the clothes into the hamper and rubbed my eyes as I walked towards the bed. I lifted the covers gingerly, and Elliot stirred as I crawled in next to him. He rolled over, half-awake.

“Hey, babe. What time is it?”

“It’s almost three. Sorry I took so long…” I trailed off, unable to spit out the lie.

“That’s okay, did you have fun?”

I touched his face. “Yeah, I did.” He lifted his arm and I cuddled up against him. It took me two more hours to fall asleep as I stifled my sobs.

I stood in the main ballroom and looked into the tall, stretched mirror. I had worn makeup, but I still looked tired. I stopped into the bathroom and patted my face with water. Luis arrived as I walked back onto the floor, and I greeted him with the best forced smile I could muster.

“Hello, Luis. How are you today?” 

“I’m well, thank you. How are you, Jenny?” He looked exhausted.

“I’m fine. Did Nancy say anything about what we’re doing today?”

“Yes, she asked me to go over the foxtrot with you for a little while, and then I’ll be helping some of the students for the rest of the day.”

I was silent for a moment, before I looked up, without the smile this time.

“Are you alright-” he started, but I spoke before he said my name again.

“I don’t think I can be close to you, Luis. Every time I look at you, I feel so completely undone."

His eyebrows scrunched together with concern.

"I'm sorry, Jen. I didn't mean to cause you any pain."

“It’s not your fault,” I whispered. He straightened up slightly.

“We have to act like nothing happened Jenny.” He paused. “We don’t have any other choice,” he added, before turning and walking on to the dance floor. I felt my chest ache as he turned away from me.

I decided after I closed the studio for the night that I needed to talk to someone. I called my childhood best friend, Ashley. I moved the car seat back and prayed that she answered. She picked up after the third ring.

“Jen? Hey, how are you?”

“Hey, Ash. I’m alright…” I trailed off, trying to figure out what to say.

“Sweetie, what’s wrong?” She always knew when something was wrong without me having to say anything. Her familiar voice brought me a startling amount of comfort. I paused for a moment before describing the struggle with my feelings for Luis. I finished by telling her of our encounter last night.

“Oh, Jenny. I’m sorry. That sounds rough. But you’ve been with Elliot for four years. You love him, don’t you?”

“Of course I do.” I whispered. “But how can I have these feelings for someone else?”

I heard her sigh.

“Jen, it’s natural for people to get feelings for more than one person. It’s happened to me plenty of times.”

“I know
that
, but this time it’s different. It’s like I can’t control myself around him. I don’t know if I’ve ever felt this way around someone.” I felt terrible as those words escaped my mouth, but I realized their truth as I said them.

“But you
did
control yourself, Jen. That’s what matters. Besides, you don’t want to be one of those girls who gets sucked in by some suave pretty boy, do you?”

“No,” I laughed. I listened to her mimic what she thought Luis sounded like for a minute, before growing silent.

“Ash, am I a bad girlfriend?”

“No, not at all. From what I’ve seen of you two, you’re a great girlfriend. The fact that you’re questioning that is concerning actually. Does he not make you feel appreciated?”

“Sometimes, but it’s more than that. Every time I try to talk about our future...”

“You don’t think that he’s ever going to get serious, Jen. I know. I’ve been telling you this for a year now.”

“I just thought by now, he would have gotten over his ridiculous hatred for the idea of starting a family.”

“I mean, don’t take this the wrong way, but, you can’t always change people. As much as you want them to feel the same way that you do. You have to go with your gut this time."

By the end of the conversation, I felt a little better, having had my own thoughts validated.

“I’ll talk to you later, Ash, I should make my way home. I’m still at the studio.”

“Alright, I’ll talk to you later. Keep your chin up, sweetie.”

“Thanks a million, Ash.”

I hung up the phone and smiled a little. At 28, she was a few years younger than me, yet has always acted like more of a mother to me. I think she acted this way out of instinct, because she knew that I had lost my own mother.

When I arrived home, Elliot was sitting on the couch with a messy-looking sub in his hand. There was another one laying on the table.
You couldn’t even have put it in the fridge for me?

“Hey, Jen, where have you been? I was getting a bit worried.”

“Yeah, Ash called me, so I didn’t want to drive while on the phone. Why didn’t you just text me?”

“I did.”

I looked at my phone. “Oh. I don’t know why I didn’t hear it.”

“Well, you drive with loud music most of the time, so that’s probably why. What did ash want?” I hesitated before answering.

“She’s, uh, just having trouble with her boyfriend.”

“Oh? I thought they were doing well?”

“They are, she’s just worried that he isn’t ever going to want to settle down, you know? She’s going to be thirty soon, and she’s starting to wonder about starting a family and everything.” I was relieved that he didn’t actually know that much about their relationship. Ashley and Joe were on the same page with everything. They were the model couple in college, and that had never changed. Elliot made a face, and shook his head a little.

“I get that, but if he doesn’t want to, he doesn’t want to. You know? Not everyone wants a family.”

“Yeah, but don’t you think most people do after
seven
years? I mean, what else is the point of staying together for so long, if not to start a family,
eventually
. I mean, it’s not like our internal clocks are very forgiving when it comes to waiting to have children.”

He looked at me, startled. I had lost my interest in voicing my opinion on the subject after he’d shot it down two years ago.

“I didn’t know you felt that way, Jen. Do you feel that way about us?” My heart dropped. I wasn’t prepared for the question. I looked away from him; I hated confrontation.

“I...I mean, not necessarily, El. I just, I don’t know.”

“You know, why does this only come up when you and her talk? Why can’t we just enjoy our lives together without worrying about marriage and kids and all that bullshit?” His voice was rising, and I knew that this was soon going to turn into a yelling match.

“Bullshit? Vowing to love only each other and making a family is
bullshit
to you?!”

“Why would anyone want to deal with screaming kids all day long?”

“I don’t see how that’s different from right now.” My voice was low, and cold. I was tired of this conversation.

“That’s good, Jen.” he scoffed. “Start insulting me, that’s going to fix this argument. You think your dad having raised you would have put more sense into your head.” My eyes stung instantly with tears.             

“Don’t you ever talk about how I was raised, don’t you ever talk about that again. You have no idea how I grew up. You, with your perfectly whole family, you’ve always taken it for granted. You have no idea what it feels like to have never felt that. Fuck you, Elliot.”

I turned on my heel and walked swiftly over to the door.

“Where are you going, Jen. Come on.” His voice sounded whiny to me suddenly. I couldn’t think.

“I’m just going for a drive or something. I need to clear my head. Just leave me alone.”

Without another word, I stormed out, slamming the door behind me. I leaned against it for a moment, before running to my car. I started to dial Ashley’s number in my phone, but stopped. I backspaced, slowly, and started to dial a different one. A familiar, warm voice answered the other end. I breathed heavily.

“Jenny? Hey, is everything alright?” His voice caressed my nerves instantaneously.

“I need to clear my head for a little while. I don’t want to talk about it.” I paused.

“Do you want to go somewhere?”

“Sure, but it’s pretty late, where do you want to go?”

“Anywhere.”

“Meet me at my house. I know this little park near my house. I think you’d like it.”

“I’ll see you soon.” I hung up the phone and started the car.

When I reached his house, he was already waiting outside. I walked towards him after locking my car, and he was leaning against his with his hands in his pockets. As I got closer, he stood up, keeping his hands in his pockets. I looked up at him and stopped.

“Can we walk there?” He nodded and motioned for me to follow him. As we walked, he commented on my locking my door, though it was tucked into his driveway. I talked about my life growing up in the big city, my mother, and he told me about his father. When we got to the park, he asked more questions. I hated talking about myself, normally. But his responsiveness had lulled me into a comfort I had never known.

I stopped talking when I noticed the park around me, and looked around in bewilderment. It’s tall, lush trees danced around random pieces of sculptures, all seemingly made of glass.

“Wow, what is this place?”

“It’s pretty much abandoned now, but it used to be a courtyard.” He pointed to and named the parts of the buildings surrounding the massive circular courtyard. On further inspection, I realized that the trees and structures had beautiful vines growing all over them, and flower buds dotted them. A singular light stood in the middle of the stone center, and it lightly illuminated the glass artwork. I didn’t notice that Luis was watching, waiting for my reaction.

“It’s….beautiful here.” I said, breathlessly.

He smiled and took my hands.

“I’m glad you like it, Jenny.” I stared at him for a moment.

“Luis, why are you so kind to me? Are you one of those people who like to seduce other men’s girlfriends, just for fun?”

There was that lonely look again. I immediately regretted my question as he averted his eyes. Before I could say anything more, he glanced back at me.

“No. I’m a little sad that you’d think of me that way. I’ve been trying to keep my distance from you. I don’t want to get between you and your love. Just know that you’ve become someone important to me. And so, your happiness is important to me.”

“Why me?”

He stood silently for a minute before looking up, and directly into my eyes.

“Because I've never felt less lonely than I have when I am around you. I’ve never met someone like you.”

There it was. The feeling that I couldn’t put my finger on. The things I felt inside of me every time I looked at him. I couldn't stop myself, I threw my arms around him and let myself melt into his arms. I gazed up at him and pressed my lips onto his, passionately, urgently. We were in the grass a few seconds later, feeling the naked warmth of one another's bodies. For an hour we laid together, kissing, groping, writhing, exploring.

I couldn't resist it anymore, as I dug my nails into his back, he slid his way over me, his lips tracing my neck. I felt the earth grind against my back as I wrapped my legs around his. He began to enter me, and I gasped lightly.

And then he stopped, I looked up to see that he had been watching me intently. He gently climbed off of me until he was lying beside me. He kissed the top of my head. I didn't have to ask; I knew why he had stopped.

"You know what the worst part about this is?" I whispered.

"What?"

"That this doesn't feel wrong. Even though it is."

He paused for a moment. "Maybe there's a reason." I nestled my face into his chest and breathed in the smell of grass and wind.