SEAL The Deal (28 page)

“How could that be?”

“It’s odorless and tasteless.”

Mark shook his head, a vacant stare crossing his face. She could tell he was really hurting. Devon found comfort in wanting to ease his pain, so she reached across the table and grabbed one of his hands and held it in both of hers.

“I wish you could have been with her at the end, Marc. My biggest regret is that we didn’t call you. But we didn’t know.”

Marc’s half smile tugged on her heartstrings. “That’s okay, Devon. I think that’s the way she would have wanted it.”

“I’m not sure of that.”

“Makes me not want to waste a day of my life. Wish I’d have met her some years earlier, before her sickness.” He brought his other hand up on top. “You never know, do you? The right person comes along and God’s sense of timing sucks.”

Devon agreed.

“Look at you and Nick. At another time, with Sophie healthy—”

“Marc, I don’t want to talk about that anymore. I’m trying to put that part of Sophie’s last days out of my mind.”

“He loves you, Devon, you do know that.”

Devon removed her hands from the table. “No he doesn’t. Someone else lives in there, and it isn’t the man I thought I could love.”

“He’s still there.”

She had to smile. Strength from the team and this gentle man’s presence was boosting her spirits. “I appreciate what you’re trying to do. I’m afraid Nick will be someone else’s project, not mine.”

They looked into each other’s eyes. It was unspoken, but she could see how they could heal each other, and she rejected the idea. She was surprised to feel the strength of her own spirit beginning to come out from its cage, on fire, like a Phoenix. It was in that moment she knew she was going to be okay. She would bear the scars her vulnerable heart carried for the present, but there would be bright days ahead. She was sure of it.

“I hope he gets help, Marc. He needs more than what I could give him.”

Marc nodded and gave a brave smile. “You’re a strong woman, Devon.”

“Oh, but not nearly as strong as I’m going to be.” She watched as Marc reacted with a chuckle.

“That’s going to be an awesome sight. Something I’d like to see.”

“Marc, are you flirting with me?” she found the strength to say.

“Ma’am. I do believe I am.”

It was Devon’s turn to chuckle.

They were served while Devon told Marc about how the escrow was going. She talked about the police investigators she’d talked to several times.

“How are they going to prove it?” he asked.

“I have no idea. My job is to make sure the property sells. The young couple who made the offer are waffling a bit, but I believe your teammate made a payment to the power company, and I made the last mortgage payment—”

“
You
made the mortgage payment?” he asked.

“Yes, Marc. I make a lot of money, and I pay cash for everything.” Her words almost got stuck in her throat as she said, “I live a simple life.”

Marc changed the subject. 

“Why would someone want to hurt Sophie? Can’t be over the land.”

“Yes, I think it’s exactly over the land,” Devon answered.

“Why?”

“Because she couldn’t be bought out. She was too stubborn. It didn’t matter how much the neighbor would pay for it. She wouldn’t sell to him. I think he felt if Sophie was out of the way, the next owner could be more reasonable.”

“Because of the water.”

“Yup. Water-scarce area. Lack of water has made it impossible for him to plant on the land he’s optioned all over the valley floor. Sophie was the stumbling block to his empire expansion. Now they have to just prove it.”

“Does Nick know?” Marc asked.

Devon shrugged. “I have no idea. Haven’t spoken to him in almost three days. You know that, Marc.”

“So what happened, Devon?”

“I don’t want to talk about it.”

“He said he was ashamed of something he’d done.” Marc sat back and pondered the floor. “Was it something he should go to jail for, Devon? ‘Cause if it is, I’ve got to do something about it.”

Devon was grateful she could answer truthfully. “No.”

The sexual part had been consensual. What he did wasn’t the problem. It was the way he did it that hurt. Like she was something he wanted to consume, not pleasure. Someone he didn’t have any feelings for. The coldness and the intensity made her shiver.

But, as sad as it was, he had not violated the law. After all, she’d asked him to stop, and he did. She hadn’t minded that he wanted something intense to ease his pain. She wanted the same thing. But the intensity without the strong connection, making it an anonymous hookup, a cheap biological act instead of sharing something beautiful in common—that scared her. She’d had to fight him off, and he very nearly didn’t stop. And yet, her body had wanted him in spite of how he’d treated her.

But that wasn’t the way lovers were supposed to treat one another. Nick had been her only, she had hoped would always be her only. But as inexperienced as she was, she knew that what he did wasn’t about giving or receiving pleasure. It was what people did to exorcise demons.

Perhaps that was the scar that would take the longest to heal.

Chapter 30

Nick expected to feel better after the funeral and the burial. He walked with his brothers over to several other team guys he knew were laid to rest there. They paid their respects. Some of these fallen boys they’d known, some not. They watched an elderly gentleman being wheeled by a teenager to a spot in the back by the fountain.

Looking over the expanse of green lawn and colorful flowers, an occasional flag or balloon adorning the silent markers, the dirty fishpond with no fish, and the trees that needed trimming, he was struck by how ordinary it looked. Or maybe it was just the way he felt. Sophie would have an opinion about how they took care of the walkways, the shrubs and trees, and of course the lack of decent water for at least some feeder goldfish. He knew she didn’t consider it normal to have a pond with nothing but scum living there.

Ordinary. Not special.

He had acted dishonorably with Devon. He didn’t deserve to wear the Trident. He didn’t deserve to represent his country doing anything, including pushing papers at a desk job somewhere. And there was nothing wrong with that, either. Took all kinds of service. But the training and the investment his government had made in him, the way the public honored the SEAL community—that he didn’t deserve. He didn’t feel like the hero everyone thought he was.

When it came down to it, he was not just a man, but someone who didn’t trust himself. Today he would tell Kyle he was getting out. He’d move somewhere in the mountains, work on a few acres and try not to interfere with anyone else’s life. He had enough savings to buy something cheap, far away from anything familiar, where he wouldn’t run across anyone he knew.

Kyle had been watching him all during the internment. Maybe his LPO knew as they rolled Sophie’s casket down into the ground he felt like climbing on top and just staying there. It was a blessing Devon chose not to attend. He preferred to remember her walking out of the church, the look of worry, and not an ounce of softness in her face. That was good. Good for her.

Kyle asked Nick to stay behind when the fellas started walking back to the van they’d rented.

“Nick, you okay?”

He drilled Kyle a look he knew the man would feel all the way down to his toes.

“So, how’s it going to be, Nick? You gonna take care of it or will you make someone else do it?”

“Sir?”

“If you don’t go see a shrink in the next twenty-four hours, I’m going to recommend you not come back to Coronado. Ever.”

Nick winced and tilted his head, unsmiling, examining the lilies on Sophie’s grave propped up by a thin wooden stand. He thought the flowers were too showy for her. The roses were drooping already. The team’s money should have been spent somewhere else. But still, he was glad they sent it, or there wouldn’t have been any, and that would have been a fuckin’ shame.

“Nick. I’m taking you to the hospital right now.” Kyle started to grab Nick’s arm to haul him towards the van and Nick knocked him on his ass with a push Kyle wasn’t expecting. He could hear swearing as Cooper, Fredo, Armando, Jones and Christy piled out of the van and came toward him like a herd.

The others dog-piled him and Nick hit his head on the brass marker of the grave next to Sophie’s. He thought the metal was cold just before he felt the sharp prick of a needle in his neck, and then everything went black.

Cooper had administered a sedative, and with Nick out cold Kyle looked down on his specialist. He could take him in for a temporary civilian hold, or have the team escort him back to Coronado, in a career-ending move.

He saw his beautiful wife standing off to the side. She knew not to interfere, but he hated the fact that she’d just seen the dark underbelly of their profession and the effect it had on all the guys. A gross illustration of what could happen in an instant over in the killing fields if a guy took his concentration off the mission and onto something personal. Other guys got killed when that happened. When there was hesitation.

He knew it was risky, but he decided not to take Nick in. Perhaps a good sleep would help repair the injured parts of his psyche. Some would go out and get drunk, but he also knew alcohol was the last thing Nick needed. Anyone needed in these circumstances, really.

The Team members were waiting for a signal from him, each man having his own silent conversation. Kyle could hear their internal thoughts as clearly as if they’d been shouting. They weren’t thinking about Nick so much as what they’d have done in Nick’s place. How close they could come to unraveling over something that happened at home. And this had happened, luckily, at home. Maybe that was the worst part, he thought.

He had planned to send the team home today, but now he didn’t dare. But he had to ask them.

“Okay, I’ll give Timmons a call and tell him Nick’s off his rocker, but that we think a day or two might straighten him out.” He looked at his comrades. Heads either nodded or looked at the ground. No one objected.

“I want you to know that if you choose to, you can still go home today.” He glanced over at Christy and saw a resolute shaking of her head,
no
.

That’s my girl, Christy.
He was grateful she was in it for the long haul. Just as tough as she was beautiful. And maybe she could help, but not until he had determined that Nick wouldn’t be a danger to himself or anyone else. He knew part of his job would be to translate what had just happened so she could understand enough of it that she wasn’t afraid for him. He knew she didn’t feel fear for herself, but for him. He thought maybe she was stronger than he was in some respects. He so much wanted to be alone with her. He so much wanted to snuggle with his toddler son, Brandon.

But looking down at Nick, he reminded himself that part of their pact was never to leave a wounded soldier behind. This wasn’t the real Nick. This was the wounded Nick lying before him. And he’d never give up on him. Ever. As he glanced around the circle of his team, he knew they all felt the same way. Unlike on deployment, when they were carrying a hundred-plus pounds of gear and protected with armor, each of them stood in their suits and ties. And sunglasses. His men in black. Brothers forever.

They brought Nick back to the hotel they’d been staying in, and made a schedule for guarding him. Cooper wanted to sit by him at first to monitor how he was doing with the shitload of stuff he gave him to keep him sleeping. No one knew which Nick would show up when he finally did wake, and they talked a little about that and how to handle various scenarios. There would be no fighting, breaking of furniture or other public displays of his anger. And if he couldn’t be contained, he’d get a cage at the psych ward, and Kyle said he’d look into that next.

They booked an extra room so the team had semi-privacy for the calls back home they needed to make. Kyle called Timmons first to make sure there wasn’t anything else going on that required their immediate deployment.

“You think he’s going to crawl back to life, Kyle, or is this mercy mission all in vain?” Timmons asked him.

“No way to know, sir. I’m hoping the sleep will help, but we don’t know.”

“Thank God he didn’t punch you.”

“No, sir, he didn’t. I think that shows some restraint.”

“And you keep him away from any kind of weapon, you hear? You’ve searched him, of course.”

“Of course. And we’ve zip-tied his wrists.”

“Good. He’ll be pissed when he wakes up, but let’s just hope his own body will do the job.”

“He’s going to need time off, sir. Not sure he could make the next rotation.”

“Roger that. I’ll do the paperwork. I’ll put him on limited duty until your workup. Think of something. But if he does something public, I’m booting him. As much as I love the guy, he’s got to walk part of this road himself. If he can’t, then he’s no use to us. You understand that, right?”

“Yes, sir. I do.”

After he hung up the phone, Armando came over and placed a hand on his shoulder. “Hey, boss. We got this. You go be with your Christy.”

Kyle slumped over, bracing his arms on his thighs and then stood slowly. He was sore, and he knew just what to do to work out some of the kinks, and just who to do it with.

Chapter 31

Devon looked at the estimated closing papers that had been drawn up before the ordeal of the fire and Sophie’s death. There was going to be a decent sum left over after all the loan fees, back taxes and late fees were paid off. Nearly a hundred thousand dollars. And although Sophie had instructed them to share in the proceeds, Devon knew that she’d direct title to issue the full amount to Nick. She’d take her commission, something she didn’t want to do, but figured it might appease Nick a little when he found out about the proceeds.

Two detectives knocked on her open door. She recognized them as the ones she had talked to previously. Twice.

“Come on in.”

They sat before her desk like clients. “You have any contact with this Mr. Silva or Mr. Rodriguez?”