Season For Surrender (A Danby Family Novella Book 2) (5 page)

He’d called her Lillian as if he had the
right. Of course he did. They were to be married. She pulled her bodice into
place with shaking hands. “I’m sorry as well. I knew I would disappoint you. I
promise not to be such a ninny on our wedding night. I’ll do my duty by you.”

Lord Edgeworth covered her hands gently
and stilled the trembling. “There’s nothing I want less than a wife who simply
lays there and does her duty because she must and not because she desires me.”

Lillian’s breath caught. “I thought you
didn’t want a wife. Ours will not be a real marriage. Remember?” The idea he’d
changed his mind sent an icy tendril of fear sliding over her skin. As long as
he kept
his
word and they stuck to the bargain they’d struck, she could
continue in her safe, albeit lonely, existence. The thought depressed her more
than usual.

He ran a finger down her cheek. “I’ve
hardly forgotten how I feel about marriage. Still…that doesn’t mean I want to
bed a woman who fears the act.”

Lillian tensed. “Quit speaking in
riddles. Are you saying you don’t want to marry me because of my fear of
intimacy?”

“
Au contraire
, Lillian, my dear.
I’m saying I won’t bed you until you beg me to.”

The word “beg” made her skin crawl. It
was something Lord Derwent would have said to her. “I’ll never be forced to beg
another man for anything again, Lord Edgeworth.”

His gaze narrowed. “Call me Nick,
please.”

She clenched her teeth, but after a
moment forced herself to relax enough to speak. “
Nick
, I will never beg
you to bed me.
Ever
.”

His face turned savage. “I should’ve
killed Lord Derwent. What did that bastard do to you?”

She circled her arms around her waist,
wishing she could hide. She hated feeling exposed. “I’ll never recount that
time with you simply so you can examine what
I
already know. The
particulars of what Lord Derwent did to me no longer matter. All I can tell you
is he killed a part of me. You can marry me as I am or you are free to go. I’ll
survive somehow. I always do.” She squelched the bitter laugh that wanted to
escape. She was strong enough to carry on but not to forget and move on from
the bad memories.

His gaze softened. “I’ll marry you as
you are.
And
I’m going to teach you the difference in begging to be
bedded because of fear and begging to be bedded out of longing.” The
determination in his eyes frightened her. What if he succeeded? Letting down
her defenses was something she’d vowed to never do. She notched up her chin.
“You can try and teach me whatever you like as long as our bargain remains
intact. We live separately and you give me the theatre and my money
before
we are married. Oh, and you promise to use preventive measures when we’re together.”

He smiled a slow smile that made her
heart skip a beat. “I’ve already had the marriage contract drawn up. The
special license from the Archbishop of Canterbury should be delivered to my
house tomorrow. Rest assured I’ll take care of all your other requirements.”

Relief made her dizzy. Gripping the side
of the desk, she spoke. “Wonderful. Then all you need to tell me is when and
where to show up and I’ll see you there.”

A mischievous look glittered in his
eyes. “There are a few more things I’d like discuss before I go.”

“Such as?”

“Tell me, what sort of wedding did you
dream of as a child?”

His question stunned her. He really had
been listening at the door earlier. His concern for her sensibilities touched
her. “I really couldn’t say.” She looked down because that wasn’t entirely
true.

“Come now.” He spoke softly. “I know you
had some wishes for your wedding day. I’m begging you to share them with me,
and I vow I’ve never pleaded with a woman for anything. You’re the first.”

She glanced up and blinked at his
earnest gaze. Something inside of her softened, and she sighed. “When I was
young, and still a silly girl, I fantasized I would one day have a wedding
where I would actually have a new dress to wear, and a family member who loved
me standing as my witness
and
I would dance.”

“Dance? At your wedding breakfast?” He
quirked his eyebrows up.

Her face grew hot with embarrassment.
“As I said, it was a silly girl’s ridiculous longings. I never owned anything
new. I never had any family that loved me. And I’ve never been asked to dance.”
She shrugged. “I’m older and much wiser now. Tell me where to go to marry you,
and I will.”

He grinned and proffered his elbow to
her.

“Are you leaving?” She gripped his arm
and fell into step beside him.

“I’m taking you to get a new dress.”

“What?” Shock stilled her step. “No, no.
You mustn’t do that. We have a bargain.”

His mouth twitched into a smile. “I’m
not breaking our bargain. We will enter into a marriage of convenience in two
days. Nothing more, rest assured.”

“Oh.” For some inane reason his words
hurt her feelings. “Then why do you want to take me to buy a dress?”

He looked thoughtful for a moment. “Just
because we aren’t in love doesn’t mean I don’t want my future wife to look
nice. I have appearances to keep, you know.”

What he said made perfect sense, but he
had a mischievous look in his eyes. Yet, if he was telling the truth, she
certainly didn’t want to embarrass him by appearing in an old gown. “I suppose
one dress won’t change our bargain.”

“Wonderful.” He released her hand and
slipped his arm around her waist. With a squeeze he said, “You won’t regret
this.”

She followed him down the hall silently.
Already, she was lamenting her capitulation. His hand remained on her waist and
the confusing thing was she rather liked it there.

Nick held the door of the theatre open
for Lillian. Uncertainty bombarded him. What had possessed him to offer to take
Lillian to purchase a new dress? He glanced at her. Her hips swayed
suggestively as she walked ahead of him down the thirty odd steps and onto the
sidewalk. His groin tightened watching her. It was rather ironic that he’d not
desired a woman in ages, and when his lust did finally reawaken it was for a
woman wary to be touched. That was problematic enough, but compounding his
unease was the idea that he wanted his future wife so much he was willing to
take her dress shopping.

He’d meant what he said about marriage.
After what he’d done to Amelia, he didn’t deserve to fall in love. He jerked a
hand through his hair. This was preposterous. He didn’t love Lillian. He didn’t
know her. This was lust―pure and simple.

At the sight of a filthy beggar man and
a child striding up to Lillian, Nick shoved the troubling thoughts aside and
strode down the steps. By the time he reached the street, Lillian was kneeling
down to pick up the dirty child. What the devil? No telling what sort of
sickness those two vagabonds carried. “Lillian,” he called sharply as he rushed
across the space to her side.

She swung around to face him, the
dirt-smeared child resting on her hip. “Yes?”

“Set the child down.”

She frowned. “Don’t be silly. This
little girl was just telling me about her papa and how he’s looking for work.”

Nick’s chest tightened at her utter lack
of snobbery and the protective way she held the little girl. Lillian was a
special woman. Damnation. He was a fool. He wasn’t taking Lillian dress
shopping because he desired her. Well, he did want her, but that wasn’t what
had provoked him to open his mouth and offer this little trip. He genuinely
liked her. That was worse than wanting to bed her.

Earlier when he’d heard her admit the
childhood dreams of the things she’d longed for on her wedding day he’d ached
for her and the life she’d led. A yearning to make her dreams come true had
taken hold of him. Lillian laughed at something the child said. The silver bell
sound made Nick smile. How long had it been since he’d smiled and felt this
light inside? This woman did strange things to him.

He pulled out some coins and held them
toward the man. “To help you get by.”

The man shook his head and Lillian gave
Nick a peculiar look. Was she shocked he’d offered to help? Did she think so
little of him? He hoped not. Wait, no. He wasn’t supposed to care what Lillian
thought of him. She set the child to the ground and stood. “Mr. Lister is going
to work for me at the theatre cleaning up after the shows.”

“Oh, I see.” Pride swelled inside of
Nick, which perplexed him. He had no right nor did he want to feel that way
about Lillian, yet he did. The thing to do was keep his guard up around her and
not try and seduce her as he’d previously considered. He took a step away.
“I’ll just wait in the carriage while you conduct your business.”

Lillian gave him another odd look then
nodded. “I should only be a moment.”

True to her word, Lillian climbed into
the carriage not more than a few minutes after he did. As she settled in, Nick
couldn’t help but stare at her. Though he’d told himself he wouldn’t draw her
into conversation he found he wanted to. And why not? He had to make sure his future
wife made wise choices, didn’t he? Even if it was just a marriage of
convenience ensuring Lillian didn’t endanger herself by hiring a man she barely
knew was Nick’s responsibility. Lillian had her face turned to the window. Nick
cleared his throat to get her attention, but when she remained turned away he
spoke. “Lillian.”

She looked at him with her vibrant green
gaze, and his chest did that odd tightening again. Absently, he rubbed it. “Do
you think it’s wise to hire a man you barely know?”

“He’ll be sweeping floors, not dealing
with my money or anything really pertaining to the theatre, so I don’t see the
harm. Besides, he needs to earn a living to care for his daughter. If I don’t
give him this chance mayhap he’ll try to sell the child or abandon her.”

Glancing back out the window, Lillian
shuddered and Nick forced himself not to move across the carriage to her seat
and wrap his arms around her. She had to be thinking of her past and what her
father had done to her. His throat constricted with foreign emotions. He
admired Lillian’s strength and how she’d managed to pick herself up and keep
going after all that had happened to her.

He tugged on his collar. The need to
protect Lillian had to be what was making him feel so odd. What else could it
be? He’d known her for little more than a day and couldn’t possibly care for
her. Nor did he
want
to care for her. Disgruntled, he glared out the
window in silence until the carriage pulled to a stop in front of Madame
Marmont’s dress shop.

Determined to distance himself from the
bewitching creature he would soon be marrying, he allowed his coachman to help
Lillian out of the carriage. When Nick opened the door to the dress shop for
her, he kept his gaze straight ahead and didn’t look at her until they entered
the shop and Madame Marmont came out to greet them.

As the Madame walked towards them her
gaze locked on Lillian. When Madame Marmont frowned, Nick belatedly remembered
Charlotte telling some story about her being rather snooty about the clientele
she wished to serve. Apparently, the French seamstress, though a commoner
herself, only wished to have the richest, most titled women in her shop.

That protective urge Nick struggled to
control roared to life as Madame Marmont gazed at Lillian with an ever
deepening scowl. Nick suspected the woman saw the frayed gown Lillian wore and
not the beautiful woman behind the clothes.

“Might I help you?” The seamstress’s
voice held a hard note of condescension.

Nick clenched his jaw to avoid spewing a
few choice words at the woman. Instead, he nodded toward Lillian. “We’re here
to purchase a gown.”

Madame Marmont gave Lillian a cool
appraising look that made Nick want to throttle the woman. When Lillian stepped
backwards as if she might retreat, Nick grasped her by the hand and gently
pulled her to his side. He stared at the seamstress for a long, silent moment,
until she fidgeted. Satisfied she was starting to feel uncomfortable, he spoke
slowly so she wouldn’t miss a word he said. He didn’t want her to forget this
moment. “You may be able to help us if I deem your materials worthy of my
future wife.”

Madame Marmont’s eyes rounded. “And who
may you be?”

He pressed his lips into a smile. “I’m
Baron Edgeworth and this is Miss Lillian Lancaster, my betrothed.”

Madame Marmont’s lower jaw dropped open,
which pleased Nick immensely, but he wasn’t quite finished with the patronizing
French woman yet. “I had planned to buy a wedding gown and an entire new
wardrobe for Miss Lancaster.”

Lillian gasped and the seamstress’s eyes
nearly popped from her head. She cleared her throat. “You
had
planned
to?”

“Yes. You heard correctly. I don’t like
the attitude you displayed toward my betrothed, and the only thing keeping me
from walking out the door and going to another dress shop is the fact that I
have a busy afternoon planned. However, if you don’t bring Miss Lancaster all
your best, most expensive fabrics to choose from and fawn over her as if she is
the next Queen of England, I’ll clear my entire schedule and take my intended
to another dress shop. Then I’ll make sure all my relatives know never to come
here again and to spread the word to their friends as well. Understood?”

Madame Marmont nodded vigorously. “Yes.
Yes. A thousand pardons. If you’ll excuse me I’ll just get my girl and gather
some bolts of cloth.”

“I suppose I’ve no choice but to excuse
you.” Nick made sure his tone was cool. “But step lively,” he added, borrowing
his grandfather’s favorite expression. “If you dawdle too long, we’ll be
leaving.”

Madame Marmont rushed out of the room
and Nick couldn’t help but grin. “That was the most fun I’ve had in ages.”

Lillian giggled beside him. “You were
awful.”

“Was I?” He turned and looked at her,
his breath catching at her delightful smile. “Do you want me to apologize?”
God, he hoped not.

“No. But, Nick, do you suppose we ought
to leave? I don’t think she wanted to serve me.”

He pressed a kiss to her hand before
releasing her. “She’ll serve you well enough now. Trust me.”

Lillian nodded but he could tell by the
tense set of her shoulders that she was worried. He turned her to face him then
withdrew his hands so she wouldn’t be uncomfortable. “Don’t ever forget you’re
just as good as anyone else.” He couldn’t resist briefly running a finger down
her smooth cheek. “In fact, you’re the finest woman I’ve ever met. I’ve never
known someone as courageous and kind as you.”

Madame Marmont swept into the room with
another woman on her heels, but Nick was glad for the interruption. They rushed
Lillian to the settee and set out bolts of fabric for her to look at. Nick frowned
as he thought of what he’d just said to Lillian and the truth of his words. She
was an exceptional woman. Different in every way possible than either Elizabeth
or even Amelia had been. Lillian was caring and generous and brave. What would
a real marriage with her be like? A cold sweat instantly covered him. He
couldn’t take responsibility for a woman’s happiness again, could he?

He needed to forget even considering
such a thing.

“Lord Edgeworth.”

Nick jerked his gaze upward. Lillian
stood beside him, her eyebrows raised in question. She grasped the material of
the gown she was now wearing. “I asked if you liked this particular color for
me. Madame Marmont assures me it’s not too bold, but I’m uncertain.”

Nick allowed his gaze to travel slowly up
the length of Lillian’s body. Wrapped in a wine-colored gown that displayed the
creamy swell of her breasts and her perfect round shoulders, all Nick could
think was that Lillian was the most beautiful woman he’d ever met. He wanted to
peel off her gown, lavish her with tender kisses all over her body and show her
just how wonderful intimacy between a man and a woman could be.

Driving desire pulsed through his veins,
but he swallowed and stood. “You look exquisite.”

Lillian beamed at him and his heart gave
a funny lurch. He had to get out of here. Every barrier he’d erected was
crashing around him one by one. Falling in love with Lillian was out of the
question. He needed time away to distance himself and gain control of his
emotions. “Since things seem well under control here, I better depart. I’ve a
meeting scheduled.”

The way Lillian’s face fell made him
want to take the lie back and sit here all day if she wished him to. Staying
was a very bad idea. “Madame Marmont,” he called across the room. “I assume
I’ve no need to worry. You’ll take excellent care of Miss Lancaster for me,
won’t you?”

“Of course.”

Nick pressed a kiss to the back of
Lillian’s hand. “I’ll leave my carriage for you to take back to the theatre.”

“Oh, no! Don’t do that. How would you
get to your meeting?”

“It’s not far from here,” he lied. His
home would be a bloody long walk, but he welcomed the time to put himself back
to rights.

A shaky smile came to Lillian’s lips. “I
suppose I won’t see you until the wedding?”

“No,” he forced out, though he wanted to
see her tomorrow, which was exactly why he shouldn’t. “I’ll send my carriage to
pick you up day after tomorrow at four.”

“Four?” Her brow furrowed. “Isn’t that
late for a wedding?”

“Not ours,” he said with a chuckle,
thinking on the other things he wanted to plan for their wedding day. Just
because love had no place in their marriage didn’t mean Lillian should not have
her dream of a perfect wedding day come true. He could and would give that to
his future wife.