Season of Desire: Complete Edition (43 page)

Jacob is staring at me, an aura of agitation around him. ‘Hi, Freya,’ he says at last.

‘Hi.’ I smile at him. I’m going to be calm and friendly. I don’t want to give him an excuse to get angry with me. I realise now that I’m not dealing only with Jacob but with his two friends here too, the kind who look like they hurt people for a living.

Jacob coughs. He looks away as though he can’t quite meet my gaze. ‘Do you want something? Water? Coffee?’

‘Water would be nice, thanks.’

Jacob looks at one of the heavies, who goes off without a word. He looks back at me and coughs again, while I study him intently, looking for signs of his state of mind. ‘I . . . I guess you’re wondering what you’re doing here,’ he says slowly.

‘Yes.’ I smile again. ‘It’s nicer here than in the garage though.’

He glances up at me and away. I can tell he doesn’t want to think about that.

Why was I there?

Thinking time, Winter. He doesn’t quite know what he wants to do with you. He’s not in his right mind. Watch out.

Jacob gets up suddenly and wanders over to the window. I get the impression he’s psyching himself up somehow, and when he turns back his face is twisted with anger. ‘You deserved that!’ he shouts. ‘A few hours in that garage to think about what you’ve done to me!’

‘What have I done?’ I ask gently. ‘You know I’ve never hurt you, Jacob. You were my boyfriend. I loved you.’

‘Don’t give me that!’ he yells back. I wince, feeling that I’ve somehow made a mistake and helped to fuel his rage when I was trying to do the opposite. ‘Don’t give me that love stuff! You’ve hated me ever since I fucked those girls: Mandy and the others. You’ve never forgiven me, have you? You just had to have your revenge and tell the papers.’

‘That’s not true, Jacob,’ I say firmly. ‘Yes, I was hurt. But I was as desperate as you to keep the whole thing out of the press. You know that.’ I don’t want to tell him that I suspect it was Jane-Elizabeth who put the story out there. I have a feeling that to Jacob it might be virtually the same as me leaking it myself. ‘How do you know it wasn’t one of the girls?’

‘No,’ he says dismissively. ‘I paid them off very generously and they knew what would happen if they ever told. They had no reason.’

‘Then it was your lawyers? Someone at their office, maybe?’

Jacob shakes his head scornfully. ‘I don’t know who the hell your father uses but my dad’s lawyers don’t break client confidentiality. Ever.’

‘Okay, okay.’ I try to soothe him but I can see he’s shaking and sweaty. The guard returns with a glass of water for me. I take it and drink it gratefully while I watch Jacob. He turns back to look out of the window, and he lifts his arm to run a hand through his hair, ruffling it so that it stands up straight. As he does, his shirt sleeve rises and reveals the tattoo of a rhinoceros he has high on his left bicep. I’d forgotten he had it until now, but as I notice it, I can’t help remembering the last time I saw it. It was on that tape, the one that showed Jacob being serviced by his call girls. I’d been most gripped by the sight of the tattoo on his thigh, the tiny padlock with the ‘F’ inside that he’d had put there for me, to show his devotion. That was how I’d known for sure that the man I was watching on the sex tape was my boyfriend. But I also saw that rather crappy little rhino when it came into close-up as the camera focused for a moment on Jacob’s arm.

At that moment, I hear a voice in my head but I can’t recognise it or make out what it’s saying. The voice floats on the outskirts of my consciousness, playing over and over like a snippet of tape that I can’t quite decipher.

Jacob turns to face me. ‘No, Freya. I’ve looked at it from all angles and it has to be you who told the papers.’

‘But why would I do that?’ I ask, putting the glass down on the table. I notice suddenly that my mobile phone is sitting on it, by a carved wooden bowl.

‘I don’t fucking know!’ he roars, burying his head in his hands. I scoop up my phone and slip it into my pocket while he’s not looking. The guards haven’t noticed. ‘Why don’t you fucking well tell me?’

‘I didn’t do it, Jacob, I swear to you.’ I stare at him, confused. ‘But what does it matter? I know it’s bad and humiliating but it will be forgotten. Why is it worth
this
?’ I gesture at the heavies who are standing silently, watching.

Jacob walks back towards me and slumps down in his armchair, rubbing his hand compulsively across his head. He looks up at me and I can see something awful in his eyes. Utter fear. He leans towards me and says in a strained whisper, ‘Freya, my dad did not know about those tapes. I cleared up the fallout without him ever knowing. My mother didn’t know either. But they do now. And . . . well, you know what they’re like. They’re very straight, very religious. I’ve sworn to them that I don’t misbehave, that I don’t take drugs. Christ, they don’t even know I’ve got tattoos. Now they’ve seen the papers. My dad got a copy of the tape from the lawyers and he watched it. He knows how much I paid the girls to buy them off afterwards. He’s . . .’ Jacob’s face contorts, and when he looks at me, I think he’s about to break down and cry. ‘He’s told me that’s it, Freya. He’s going to take away my money, my apartment, my cars . . . everything. He’s told me that I have to make it on my own now, prove to him that I’ve changed my ways and that I can make a go of life without him.’

I nod. It’s clear now. The newspaper scoop hasn’t just humiliated Jacob, it’s destroyed the pleasant, protected existence he’s enjoyed till now. His money, gone. Everything he’s taken for granted and considered his due, taken away. All that cocksure arrogance and swagger vanished, just like that. He’s the same as any guy on the street, maybe worse because he’s never so much as had to lift a finger to earn a penny that he’s spent over the years.

And me? Am I like that too? Would I be destroyed like this without my daddy’s money?

The question pierces me to the heart. I don’t know. I hope not. I hope I could make it on my own. Then I realise that I’ve already taken that risk by pursuing Miles against my father’s orders. I’m filled suddenly with a kind of elation.
I’ve made my choice and I chose my heart. I’ll never let myself be destroyed the way Jacob has.

I gaze at Jacob. ‘You can do it!’ I say firmly. ‘This might be the start of something amazing. Show your dad you have the potential to do the same thing he has and make a success of yourself.’

Jacob’s gone white. He’s still whispering as though he doesn’t want the heavies to hear what he’s saying. ‘You don’t understand. I can’t just have the tap turned off like that. I have obligations. There’s stuff I have to take care of.’ He nods almost imperceptibly in the direction of the two men.

Oh God. Oh Jacob. What have you done?

‘I have to get money from somewhere,’ Jacob says in a low, urgent voice, leaning towards me. ‘A lot. And soon.’

‘What are you mixed up in?’ I say in a whisper, my voice sounding frightened.

He ignores my question. ‘You’re my only hope. Can you see that? I need money. You’ve got more than you need. Your dad’s even richer than mine. You owe me, Freya.’

‘I
owe
you?’ I’m astonished.

‘That leak didn’t come from me. It came from you. You’re the reason I’m in this fucking mess so you’d better get me out of it. And if you don’t –’ he leans towards me, his eyes flashing now. I can sense the depth of his desperation, ‘– you will be sorry. I mean it, Freya. Don’t mess with us. These guys will have acid in your face before you know where the hell you are.’

I gasp. It’s a terrible threat. For a second, I wonder what’s happened to the sweet, slightly silly Jacob I fell in love with. Then I know: he’s been lost in a dark world of drugs and crime and greed and money. There’s some story of stupidity and hubris that I don’t know but that I can guess at. And it’s led Jacob to this – threatening me with mutilation if I don’t give him the money that he’s convinced himself is his due.

‘I want to help you, Jacob,’ I say in a shaking voice. ‘But I don’t have access to a lot of money in one go. You know what it’s like. I get an allowance.’

‘I need what you can give me right now. And then you’d better ask your dad for the rest. You’ll think of a way to persuade him.’ Jacob talks in a dull, flat way as though this is something he needs to happen and he can’t be bothered with the particulars. ‘It will be easiest if you tell him that we’re back together. You’ve forgiven me and you’re going to come and live here with me.’

‘What?’ I stare at him, utterly astonished. ‘You can’t be serious, Jacob. Get back together? Live together? Are you crazy?’

‘It’s the best way,’ he says with a shrug. ‘You can see that, can’t you? Maybe we should even get married.’ A small spark shows in his eyes, the first I’ve seen tonight. ‘Hey, that’s not such a bad idea. My dad would love that. It might be the way to put everything right, too. I bet he’d forgive me if I told him we were getting married.’

I gape at him, unable to believe my ears or that he can really be serious. Then suddenly I hear a voice behind me.

‘I hate to interrupt this touching proposal but I’m afraid Freya is otherwise engaged.’

I spin round in time to see the two heavies also swing round to confront whoever is in the room. My heart is racing and a thrill of joy explodes over me.

Even before I see him, I know who it is.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Even though I’ve been surrounded by guards since I was tiny, I’ve never seen one actually holding a gun. Maybe I saw a bulge under an arm, the smooth black leather of a holster, or a glimpse of cold metal, but that was all. When we were kidnapped in Italy, I never saw a weapon. I think they knew a small girl and a sick woman were helpless enough without being menaced with guns or knives. The people who rescued us must have been armed, but the darkness and confusion meant I didn’t see it.

Miles is standing there with a handgun pointed directly at Jacob’s forehead.

The colour has drained from Jacob’s face and his eyes are wide and staring. His hands grip the arms of his chair but he’s sitting as though frozen.

Even though Miles has his weapon aimed at Jacob, I can tell that all of his attention is focused on the two heavies who are both on high alert, ready to reach for whatever they’ve got concealed about them.

‘Put your hands up and then stay absolutely still.’

The men slowly obey him, though I can tell they’re both assessing the situation and when they might be able to make a reach for a weapon.

‘Move a muscle,’ says Miles coldly, ‘and your little golden goose here gets it. Then we’ll see how useful he is to you.’

The heavies don’t move, their small mean eyes fixed on Miles and their expressions stony. They don’t bother to say anything. I guess words don’t achieve much in their world.

Miles keeps his eyes fixed on them. ‘Freya,’ he says, ‘go and open the window to the terrace.’

I obey at once, feeling strangely calm despite my pounding heart. My fingertips are shaking but I manage to undo the clasp of the glass door and slide it back. A blast of icy air hits me.

‘Good,’ says Miles. ‘Now, come here. Get behind me.’

I move at once, striding across the room. I smile at him but his face stays impassive. There’s just a flicker in his icy blue eyes and a tiny lift of his eyebrow.

‘Right, guys – out – and keep your hands where I can see them.’ Miles waves the barrel of the gun to indicate that they should all move out on to the terrace. I don’t think the guards are going to obey him but then there’s a high zipping sound and a bullet lodges in the white fur of the Mongolian goatskin rug. They move swiftly, Jacob leaping out of his chair as though it’s just delivered him an electric shock. In a moment all three of them are on the terrace, and Miles has slid the window shut and locked it.

He turns to me. ‘I don’t think they’re armed, but we won’t risk it. Get out of the apartment as fast as you can. Take the main lift. I’ll be right behind you.’ He keeps his gun trained on the people outside as they stare in, the two heavies with furious expressions and Jacob’s terrified. They look eerie through the glass that’s darkened by the lights inside. ‘Go.’

I do as he says, dashing down the stairs and out of the front door, running as fast as I can for the lift. I press the button to summon the elevator and wait, flooded suddenly with adrenalin. I’m panting hard and shaking from head to toe. Then I see Miles emerge from the flat just as the elevator pings and the doors slide open. I step in and hold the doors as he strides down the hall towards me and into the lift.

We stand and stare at one another as the doors shut, then his arms are round me and I’m lost in the warmth of his chest. I tip my head back and his mouth lands on mine. He kisses me hard and I return it with all my strength, my nerves tingling with the onslaught of delayed reaction to the situation and the delicious sensation of the kiss I’ve been yearning for. A great well of joy fills up inside me. We’re together at last, and it feels like I’ve come home.

When we pull apart, I say, ‘I knew you’d find me. I felt like you were with me all the time.’

He stares down at me, his expression solemn and loving at the same time. ‘I had to come. From the moment Beth told me you were in danger, there was nothing else I could do.’

‘What happened up there?’ I ask him, wide-eyed. ‘Did you kill them?’