Sebastian - Dark Bonds (22 page)

“Other way?” 

“Dominance.  Think about it.  He’s effectively turned the tables on his mother’s actions.  It’s as if he’s correcting the imbalance and putting women back in the position he feels they belong, restoring man’s authority in the household.”

It all makes sense to me now.  “You’re right.  He’s put himself in a position of total control and power … so that no woman can hurt him as his own mother did.”  The thought makes me nauseous.  My vulnerable, fucked up man has, in essence, put a defensive iron cage around himself.  It breaks my heart that he should have been subjected to such ill treatment, and it makes me angry – for the pain he has suffered and for the impact upon Libby and Scarlett.  And me?  What of our relationship?  Were the beatings I’ve taken at his hand really sensual … or something much darker?

“Don’t read too much into it,” he adds contemplatively.  “He enjoys his dominance, and he’s pretty good at it.  I shouldn’t feel too sorry for him, after all look at the totty the bugger attracts, hey?”

I want to smack him in his condescending mouth but we are interrupted just in time.

“Come on you two, dinner’s getting cold.”  Becky has entered the study and regards our expression guardedly.

“Did you forget to knock?”  Marcus barks.

“Sorry, Marcus.  Please could you both come through and eat, Sebastian looks most uncomfortable – I think he’s missing you Beth.  I’ll let him know you’re coming.”

As we walk together to the orangery, I place a hand on Marcus’ arm.  “Thank you,” I tell him earnestly.   “I needed to know, thank you for telling me.”

“There is a positive side to all this,” he whispers as we near the others at the table.  “The sex is fucking amazing if you go with it.”

“What do you mean?” I ask, shocked.

“Dominance.  Submission.  Go with it, he’s told me a lot about you, hope you don’t mind.”  His places a hand on the small of my back and lets it slip down to my right buttock.  Glaring at him, I step to the side so that his hand drops away.

Sebastian has witnessed the grope.

“Elizabeth.  Marcus.  How good of you both to join us,” he looks mad.  His eyes burn darkly as we take our seat at the table.  My gaze meets his and I mouth an apology and smile meekly but he narrows his eyes sinisterly.  I take the cue and lower my eyes.

“Marcus, I do hope you haven’t bored Elizabeth.”

“On the contrary, Sebastian.  We’ve enjoyed each other’s company, haven’t we Beth?”  Crap.  Don’t wind him up – he’s already wound tight as a spring.

26

Glancing up at him, I can see Sebastian’s mood has darkened still further.  He catches my furtive glance and widens his eyes in a menacing stare causing me to fidget nervously in my seat.

“It’s been interesting, yes,” I reply, hesitantly smiling at Marcus as he fills my wine glass with iced Chablis.

“I’ve been showing Beth our university photos.  She said she didn’t realize you were clever,” Marcus scoffs.

“Did she now?” Sebastian says icily.

“I said no such thing,” I exclaim furiously.  “Marcus showed me a couple of photos, but we didn’t talk about anything, did we Marcus?”

“Nothing at all?” Sebastian looks quizzically at me, I take a large gulp of chilled wine and glare at Marcus.

“Nothing at all, no,” he confirms, winking at me.

An audible sigh escapes my lips.  Just shut up!

“You were gone a considerable amount of time, to have talked about nothing at all,” he observes sarcastically and it’s apparent he suspects that Marcus did indeed impart information that Sebastian would prefer remain a secret.

Bella is seated next to Theo, and listens intently as he talks to her.  I smile as I see her interact with him, so shyly and demurely, and so unlike my daughter.

The meal is delicious.  Becky is a talented cook - her menu is sophisticated and fresh but avoids the tortured cleverness of high-end restaurants.  The entrée of seared scallops in spicy Asian broth are divine and yet are eclipsed by the roast grouse, which Becky serves with lentils and, to my amazement, a chocolate jus.   Marcus continually tops up our glass with perfectly matched wines and, as Becky clears away the table, I’m replete and slightly drunk.

Theo takes a giggling Bella to watch a movie. Marcus ushers us to a comfortable seating at the far end of the orangery, Sebastian guides me to a love seat opposite the sofa on which Marcus sits.  He places a hand upon my knee and squeezes gently.

“Ok?” he whispers.

“Fine, thank you,” I reply, placing a hand lightly on his, relieved that his mood has brightened.

“We won’t stay long,” he murmurs in my ear and kisses the lobe.

“Look at you two lovebirds.  Put her down, Sebastian.”  Marcus pours amber liquid into four crystal glasses and hands one to Sebastian and I before sipping his own. 

“Try this, it’s Vin Santo and it’s to die for.  We picked it up in Tuscany last year.”

“Marcus is a wine snob,” Sebastian chides as he sips the wine.

“Darlings, wait for these.”  Becky returns to the orangery and offers a plate of nutty biscuits.

“Biscotti almond cookies.  I baked them this morning and you simply must dunk one in your Vin Santo,” she enthuses.

The taste is quite extraordinary.  The creamy honey flavour of the wine complemented by the less sweet crunch of the cookie is heavenly.

“Is there anything you can’t do?” I ask Becky with admiration.  The woman is a goddess.  Looks like one, cooks like one.

“I just like to keep Marcus happy,” she smiles at him and he pats her bottom as she bends down to retrieve her glass.

“Christ, she keeps me happy, don’t you darling?  And when she fucks up, I make damned sure she learns her lesson and doesn’t repeat her mistake.  Isn’t that right?”

She nods demurely and sits beside her husband who is quite clearly now drunk.  “That’s right, Marcus is very patient with me and very fair.”

“You see, Elizabeth?” Sebastian squeezes my knee again, harder this time.  “You could learn from Rebecca.  She’s mastered the art of submission nicely.”

I nearly choke on my Van Sinto, or whatever it’s called.  “Sebastian!  That’s very personal,” I protest, cheeks reddening.

“Nonsense,” roars Marcus.  “We need to get you to one of our suppers, hey old boy?” He winks lecherously at Sebastian whose mood is again hard to read.

“It’s my party soon,” I enthuse, hoping to change the direction of conversation.  “I’m so glad you’re both coming, I don’t think I’ll know many other people there.”

“Masked ball, eh?” Marcus winks again and I feel like punching his winking eye.  I’m feeling feisty.

“That’s right.  It should be great fun.”  I drain my glass, only for Marcus to refill it instantaneously.  Consciously trying not to slur my words, I turn to Sebastian.

“Well, apparently we have thirty-five guests – and I know about a handful of those.  We have caterers doing all the food, which is great because I can’t cook.  Oh and Scarlett has chosen me a dress.  Can you believe that, Becky - another woman, choosing what you will wear for your own special birthday party?  Oh and not to mention the fact that she’s also chosen the decorations, masks, music and … most probably … the entire guest list.”  My mouth is now disengaged from my brain and running on autopilot.

“Elizabeth.  Enough.”  I ignore Sebastian and his vice like grip on my knee.

“I wouldn’t be surprised if she doesn’t choose Sebastian’s outfit, wash behind his ears and dress him on the night.”  A crass peel of laughter escapes my lips, silenced only by a deep drink of Von Snotto, it’s making me feel queasy, hell … I’ll finish it anyway.

“Enough!”  Sebastian barks furiously, bringing a smug smile to Marcus The Winker’s face and a ‘tut’ from Miss Perfect Rebecca.

“Sebastian, she’s a feisty one,” Winker reaches across and taps my other knee - the one that isn’t being clamped in a painful vice by my boyfriend.

“Isn’t she just?”  Sebastian shifts his position, now able to look at me directly.  Oh, he looks mean!

Miss Perfect offers round her cookies in an attempt to break the tension and says sweetly, “I always find Scarlett to be so … amenable.” 

“You do?” I ask incredulously.  “Personally, I find her to be irritatingly … there.  She’s always around, with her prettiness and … her weakness … her please-don’t-tell-me-off-I’m-made-of-glass personality.  Personally, I think Sebastian’s too afraid to get rid of her.”  The alcohol is entirely fuelling my vocal chords at this point.

“Do you mind?”  Sebastian asks.  At first I think he’s talking to me but it’s Marcus who replies.

“Please do.  Be my guest.  I’m just surprised that you’ve let it go this far.”  Winker winks again.  I glare at him.

My mouth is open in readiness for a quick retort but my hand is tugged sharply as Sebastian, standing, indicates that I’m to follow him.  Oh no.  Me and my smart mouth. Where’s he taking me?  Leading me away from our hosts and past the dining table we reach our destination very quickly – the far corner of the orangery.  Here Sebastian places his hands firmly on my shoulders and turns me to face the corner.  He’s behind me, pressing his body against my back, and I want to protest that now is not the time nor place for seduction but think better of it.  His lips brush my ear sending erotic sparks coursing down my spine and an involuntary moan escapes my lips.

“Why have I put you in the corner, Elizabeth?” he rasps, his breath is hot against my neck.

Giggling, I reply, “because you’re a dirty bugger but I don’t think this is the time or the place, Sebastian.”

He sighs heavily.  His hand grasps a fistful of hair with which he tugs my head back painfully.  I gasp, not expecting this at all.

“I’ll ask you again.  Why have I put you in the corner?”

“Are you serious?” I’m now feeling less sure of myself, humiliated at the spectacle we are creating in front of our hosts.  “Let me go, you’re embarrassing me.”

“As you have embarrassed me.  You will stay here until I decide that you may rejoin our party.  Do you understand, Elizabeth?”

“I’m not a fucking child,” I hiss.

“No.  You’re not.  You’re also not a very good submissive are you?  I’ve been far too lenient with you so it’s about time I demonstrated that your bad behaviour will not go unpunished.   Stay there.  Don’t talk.  Not a fucking word.”  He returns to his seat and resumes his conversation.

The utter humiliation is overwhelming, my eyes sting with tears, which I blink back, determined not to let our hosts witness my shame.  Bella!  If my daughter sees me stood here, how will I explain that my dominant boyfriend has placed me in the corner, chastised for my conduct?  I can’t remember ever doing such a thing to my children.  Children.  Joe.  What have you done, Beth?  How has your life turned into such a mess?  What was so damned wrong with your old life that you bought about such a chain of catastrophes? Right now I hate myself with a force that is a thousand times more shameful than any action Sebastian could possibly take against me. 

I’m left, standing in the naughty corner for what seems like an eternity, castigating myself for every mistake and foolish action that has led directly or indirectly to my current position in life.  By the time Sebastian calls to me, I’m bereft and empty.  I want to go home … to my real home.  The only positive element is that Sebastian summoned me to join him on the sofa the moment he heard Bella and Theo returning, thus sparing me any further degradation.

Becky gives me a hug, and kisses my cheek.  “Well done, darling,” she whispers.  “Learning is not easy but do persevere, he’s a wonderful man who loves you very much.”

Marcus winks at me once more but his expression is softer and therefore I forgive him his annoying habit, relieved that nobody mentions what has just transpired.  Even Sebastian is tactile and strokes my back tenderly, smiling warmly when I catch his eye.

“Uncross your legs,” he whispers, his hand touching my right leg, which rests over my left.  “Good girl,” he murmurs when I oblige. 
Christ, back off,
I sigh,
just try and be fucking nice
.

Bella is apparently taken with Theo, the two make a striking couple – both are tall and fair, their humour evidently well matched as they share a private joke.

“Theo can drive, isn’t that too cool?” she enthuses.

“Too cool, yes,” I agree.  Bella has not shown any desire to learn and I haven’t encouraged her, my fear of cars and alcohol and the inevitability of teenagers mixing the two components fills me with dread.

“If we can tear you two apart, then it’s time to go home,” Sebastian says.  We thank our hosts and after hugs and kisses, bid farewell.  It’s been quite an evening and I’m glad to go.

The lights burn brightly in Penmorrow, Scarlett as ever being ultra-efficient has lit the house in readiness for our late return.

“Goodnight Mum.  Night Sebastian,” Bella kisses us and turns in for the night, busily texting as she goes.  No doubt already missing Theo, I muse.

“How do you think that went?” Sebastian asks, brushing a lock of hair from my neck and kissing me lightly just below my left ear.

“I’m still mad at you,” I swat at him grumpily but he catches my hand and kisses my palm.