Second Chance for Love (2 page)

“This has nothing to do with Chase!” I yelled louder than I’d intended. “This is about you not caring about what I want. What I need. You never have! I can't believe I actually came back here. I haven’t been home five minutes and you’re already starting in on me. I'm outta here! I'm done! Done!”

She opened her mouth to say something else. I called for Bosco and we got back in the car. My sister Destiny's car pulled in behind mine effectively blocking me in and I punched the steering wheel in frustration. The horn sounded, sending Bosco diving under the seat.

Destiny ran to my car and tried to open the door just like my mother had. Sighing, I unlocked the door.

“Jetta, why do you look so upset?” Destiny asked. “What’s going on?”

“Oh, she's angry because I won't let her bring that mangy mutt inside!” Mama replied.

I shook my head. “No, it's about more than that. Destiny, please just move your car so I can leave. Or I swear I'm gonna slap her! I swear I'm gonna slap the black right off of her face, and she's gonna be just as white as the people she hates!”

“Jetta, for heaven’s sake! Calm down!” Destiny said, rolling her eyes. “I'll keep your dog until you can find a better solution. The kids will love him.”

“No, you won't! I'm not going to put Bosco through the hell of being surrounded by mean little kids that pull on his tail and ears, just so that old bag can have her way. No! She's had her way long enough.” I pulled Bosco's leash out of the car. “Come on, Bosco, let's go for a walk.”

“How the hell have I gotten my way?” Mama snapped. “In case you’ve forgotten your Daddy is dead! That is definitely not getting my way!”

I leashed Bosco and we walked off. I didn't have a clue where I was going, but anywhere had to be better than listening to the same old argument. I’d always been the bad one because I thought I deserved to be happy, because my sole reason for existing wasn't to do everything my parents wanted.

“You’re really going be that way right now?” Destiny shouted after me. “Daddy's not even in his grave yet and you're acting this way because of a dog?”

“I am,” I yelled to her without looking back.

Chapter 4: Chase

I’d been dreading the possibility of Jetta's return since I’d spoken to Destiny. A million questions came to mind and to be honest I didn't want to know the answers. Was she married now? Did she have kids? Did she hate me? Of course, she hated me. I was the one that bailed on everything we had together. Some days I even hated myself for it. I made a mess out of more lives than I would’ve liked to admit.

My daughter, Abby was conceived in the bed of my truck. Melissa and I had barely known one another, but she was drunk and I was looking for any relief from the thoughts of Jetta that never left me.

I married her because it was the right thing to do. There was no courtship or dating. Hell! I didn't even propose to her. I just told her I would marry her and we set a wedding date. So it didn't surprise me when she ran off four years ago in the middle of the night leaving me alone with a two-year-old toddler.

After she disappeared, I dropped out of law school and started a do-it-yourself handy man's blog. The income grew steadily, allowing me not to worry about money. Though it left me plenty of time to fight with the what-ifs of the past.

It was a Saturday afternoon. Abby and I had just left the park and were having lunch at the diner. Abby had grown up around the place and she enjoyed visiting with the waitresses and other customers. The atmosphere was quiet when we arrived, but by the time our food was served she’d managed to liven the place up with her story about her first day of the new school year.

We were sitting at the tables outside of the diner when Jetta walked by with a dog. I knew it was her instantly. She hadn't changed at all. A lump formed in my throat as I watched her go by. She was just as beautiful as I remembered. She was clearly upset and appeared to have been crying. What did I expect? After all her father had just passed away. I figured the best thing to do was just leave her alone. She had enough to deal with, without me getting involved and making things worse.

“There's your girl,” Henry said, elbowing me in the ribs.

Henry was the old black pharmacist who had on more than one occasion covered for Jetta and I when we were kids. Since hearing that she was coming back to town, Henry hadn't relented in prodding at the subject. He acted as if it were our big second chance. I reminded him again and again that she was most likely happily married with kids. A woman as beautiful as Jetta wasn't going to stay single long.

“You should go talk to her,” he said. “Abby can stay here with me and finish telling me about the unicorn in the park.” He winked at me above Abby’s head.

“There's a unicorn in the park?” Abby asked, her eyes growing wide.

“No, there's not, Abby.” I frowned. “And I'm not going to talk to Jetta. It wouldn't be right.”

“Whose Jetta, Daddy?” Abby asked.

“An old friend of your Daddy's,” Henry told her. “One he should go say hello to.”

“Why don't you say hi to your friend?” Abby asked, tilting her head.

“Because she's sad,” I replied. “Aren't you going to ask Henry what he meant by the unicorn in the park?”

She looked puzzled then went back to eating her chicken nuggets. “You said there wasn't one.”

As soon as Abby finished eating her lunch we left, skipping our usual dessert. She was upset about it and I hated to rush her. I needed to get away from Henry and his foolish ideals about love. He might have been married to the same woman for forty-two years before she died, but that was them, not us.

What we had was long dead, and I wasn’t going to lie to myself about it. I wasn't about to get my hopes up for some pipe dream that had no chance of matching up to the reality I lived in.

I dropped Abby off at my mother’s and drove home alone. I felt bad for upsetting her. After all, she was the only one I still had in my corner. That’s why I didn’t want her to see me angry and upset. I’d always been careful to seem happy and optimistic around her. She was a child, and children deserve to be carefree. They don’t need to be worrying about their parents.

What really got to me after all these years, was that I still lost everything my father had threatened to take away from me after Jetta left. I ended up quitting college and he’d cut me from his will after divorcing my mother.

Truth was, I gave Jetta up for nothing.

Chapter 5: Jetta

My heart skipped a beat when I saw Chase sitting outside of the diner. He was there with a little girl who looked so much like him. One part of me wanted to run into his arms while another part of me wanted to slug him. It didn't seem fair that he was living a normal, happy life after all he’d put me through. I always hear people talking about karma. Seeing him living the life we were supposed to have, while I was so miserable made me doubt its existence.

I remember the night that I left home. I drove to his place to tell him I was leaving and to ask him to come with me. Ask isn't the right word. I begged Chase to come with me. It didn’t matter that he’d already broken up with me by that point. I saw the pain in his eyes when I crossed paths with him around town, and I knew he still loved me. At least, I had thought so up until then.

Chase was sitting on his front porch with Melissa. She was glowing with pride and love, and it made me sick to my stomach to see them together. Still, I begged him. I poured my heart out as if she wasn’t sitting there listening to every word. She left yelling that Chase had better get this worked out, because she wasn't going to have his “black whore” show up once the baby was born.

Her words cut me like a knife. It wasn't enough to call me a whore. The bitch had to play the race card too. I wanted to scratch her eyes out. Instead all I could do was cry. I'll admit it wasn't my proudest moment. I was making one last desperate attempt to be with the man I loved.

“You've slept with her?” I demanded, tears rolling down my cheeks.

“I was drunk, Jetta,” he said, trying to calm me down.

“I don't care. Please!” I begged. “Just come with me and we'll make it work. I know we can! We just need to get somewhere away from our parents and away from this snake pit of a town!”

Chase pulled me to him and kissed me hard. For a moment, I thought I’d finally gotten through to him. I believed that he was coming with me. After all, it didn't matter where we were as long as we were together. I allowed myself to believe that he still loved me, but all of my illusions were shattered when the kiss broke.

“Jetta, you know I can't. She's pregnant. I've got to do right by her,” Chase said, holding my face in his hands.

“She’s really pregnant?” I stared at him in disbelief. “What about us?”

“Jetta, we both knew it couldn't work,” he said, turning away. “I've got to go.”

I managed to make it back to my car before I dissolved into sobs that shook my whole body. I was still crying an hour later when his father came out and threatened to call the police if I didn't leave. I drove away, looking back in the rear-view mirror. Part of me believed that Chase would run out to stop me, but he didn't.

As the depressing memories played through my mind, I sped up, pulling Bosco alongside me. I power walked until we were out of his sight, then I sat down on the bench in front of the new strip-mall and cried. Bosco climbed up on the bench next to me and I held him close. How pathetic was my life? That I had to cry on a dog's shoulder?

That night Bosco and I slept in the car because there weren't any hotels in town that accepted pets.

“Looks like it's just me and you after all,” I said as we settled down in the backseat for the night.

Chapter 6: Chase

I took the long way to Abby's school the next morning, just so I could drive by Jetta's mother's house to see if she was still there. I frowned when I saw that she was asleep in the backseat of her car. It was the same car she had when we were kids, and we had spent more than one night together in it parked in the woods. Knowing Jetta, she’d most likely got into an argument with her mother over the dog.

When we were younger, I’d gotten her a puppy for her birthday because she talked about how much she’d wanted one. Her mother threw him out in the rain, forcing me to take him back. Thankfully, my own mother fell in love with him and said we could keep him. The dog still lives with her. To this day, I can't look at him without being reminded of everything I gave up.

After I dropped Abby off at school, I made my normal stop at the diner. It was more out of habit than hunger. I hadn't had much of an appetite since I’d seen Jetta the day before. I hadn't slept much the night before either, so I sat by myself drinking black coffee trying to clear my mind. The caffeine burned away the morning fog, making the thoughts of Jetta more vivid than ever. I was worried about her now that I’d seen her sleeping in her car.

Old habits die hard. That was the excuse I gave myself when I ordered what had once been Jetta's favorite breakfast. People change, taste changes, so for all I knew she now hated pancakes and sausage. Maybe she didn't drink soda any more either. I’d already made up my mind though and planned to follow through.

It was my intention to leave the food on the hood of her car and be gone before she ever woke up. Maybe her mother or one of her sisters would take credit for it. That would be fine with me. It would be easier for both of us that way.

I might have succeeded, except the Golden Retriever spotted me. He sat up and began to thump his tail against the seat. I sat the bag on the hood and tried to leave quickly, before Jetta woke up. It almost worked then I heard the engine come on and the window roll down.

“What the hell are you doing, Chase?” she called out when I was almost to my truck.

I yelled back without turning around. “Just bringing you breakfast.”

“And how is Melissa going to feel about that?” she asked.

My back was to her, but I knew she would be shaking her head and arching her brows, like she always did when she was angry with me. Under different circumstances, knowing her so well would have made me grin. Today it only stung.

“Have no idea. Probably wouldn’t give a shit! If you ever run into her in the big city, why don’t you ask her for yourself?” I opened the door of the truck.

I was pulling out of the drive when Jetta hopped out of the car.

“You know,” she said. “You have some fucking nerve, Chase! Coming here at all.”

I could tell she was angry and I started driving away. I didn't go there to start a fight.

“You're an asshole, you know that?” she yelled after me.

“Yes, I do know that,” I said to myself and turned on the radio.

Chapter 7: Jetta

I retrieved the box from the hood and got back in the car. My stomach was growling though my blood was still boiling.

“Let's see what you brought me, you asshole,” I said, popping open the to-go box, while Bosco watched intently. “You're hungry too, boy, aren't you? You're always hungry.”