Second Chances (8 page)

“I bet they're all over you at those competitions,” Parker speaks up. “How many did you nail?”

I swallow hard and put my arm up over my eyes as I feel tears building behind my eyelids. I'm used to hearing guys talking about girls like they are objects and I never really gave it much energy because the girls who put themselves in those situations probably know they are being objectified and don't really care. This is totally different though. I'm not a naïve fool. I know that chances are Chase has hooked up with girls over the last few years. I mean
look
at him for God's sake! I can just imagine girls literally throwing themselves at his feet. Chase has always been easy on the eyes, but he'd never been a one night-stand kind of guy though. I don't want to think about Chase and his probable hook-ups though, and I sure don't want to have to listen to it.

“That's really none of your business, man,” Chase replies and I hear the other guys scoffing and blowing off his remark. They are trying their damndest to get a response out of Chase, but I don't hear anything more from him. The conversation shifts then and I hear them talking about some friend of theirs who has just found out he is going to be a dad. It is a small town and word travels fast, and usually faster if it is negative.

I'm startled as the boat rocks back and forth a bit, and when I lift my head up to find out what is going on, Chase is using a towel to wipe the water from his face and hair as he stands in the main part of the boat. His torso is covered in little droplets of water and the sun reflects off of them giving his whole beautiful body a surreal kind of glow.

Naturally he catches me drinking him in and gives me a crooked smile. He turns the radio on and up just a bit, effectively drowning out the other guys' conversation before he strolls up to where I'm sunbathing and sits down across from me. I prop myself up on my elbows and I fear he's really starting to affect my mind before I realize that I have quite a buzz going. That would certainly explain the mushy feeling in my brain and my overly emotional state.

“I didn't mean to wake you. I just thought if I turned the radio on and those guys carried on for a while, maybe we could finish talking,” he explains.

“I'm not sleeping,” I reply as I pull myself upright so that I can look him in the eyes. I probably shouldn't have admitted to being awake in case they'd only been talking like that because they thought I  was sleeping, not that they'd ever held back around me before. I can't remember how many beers I've had, but things are feeling. . . um. . . far too warm and comfortable. I can't keep my eyes off of him, and I find myself glancing down at his tattoo again and having to drag my eyes away. Okay, maybe my 'comfortably numb' has progressed right along to 'climb onto his lap and stick my tongue in his mouth.' I might be in trouble here.

Over at the cove, jumping off the boat like the fools that we are and laughing our asses off has me feeling sixteen again for sure. All except for the slight buzz I have going. This is just the kind of day that I've been missing over the last four years. 

Of course I find myself watching Haylee pretty damn closely. I can't get over how grown up she looks. She is sexy as hell, but the best part is that she's completely unaware of this fact. She'd always hung out with us guys and fit in without question. Even though it's obvious that she still does, she's also a beautiful woman now. That is something that I'm pretty sure hasn't gone unnoticed by Parker either. Every time I glance his way, he's watching her. The only thing keeping me from beating him to a pulp is that Haylee never seems to return his glances or treat him any differently than the rest of us. I keep telling myself that if there is really something going on between the two of them, I'd be able to see it on her face and in the way she reacts to him. But maybe I'm just delusional and seeing what I want to see.

We finally get tired of jumping off the boat and just float around drinking our beer and shooting the shit for a while. I see Haylee swim over to the ladder at the back of the boat and climb up. I feel this pull from deep inside of me, urging me to join her up there. Unfortunately, the guys choose that very moment to start playing twenty questions with me, and I can't just swim away.

It starts out easy enough with questions about the competitions and what it had been like, but it quickly progresses into personal territory that I'm notcompletely comfortable with. They want to know what the girls in California are like and I don't feel like going into depth with the fact that for the most part they are shallow and fake, lacking any real warmth and depth. I guess some of that could have had to do with the girls that I'd chosen to associate with, knowing that I'm not interested in anything more than a hook-up. I'm not proud of the guy that I had been out there. I want to move past that now and be a better person, so regaling the guys with my sordid past really isn't something I want to do.

I try to keep my answers short and dance around what I know they want to hear in the hopes that they'll move on to another subject soon.

“I bet they're all over you at those competitions,” Parker speaks up, rather loudly all of a sudden. “How many did you nail?” I glance over at him with a look of disdain. I know what he's doing. He's talking loudly enough to ensure that Haylee will hear from up in the boat because he wants to eliminate any chance I might have with her. I am really starting to dislike him.

There is no way I'm going to answer his question. If I'm being honest with myself, I don't actually
know
the answer. I'm not going to lie or hide any of this from Haylee but it's something that I need her to hear from me in private when the time is right. Not in the middle of the lake with this douche trying to get the upper hand.

“That's really none of your business man,” I look directly at Parker when I say it and then I turn and swim away, putting an end to my interrogation. I climb into the boat and quickly grab a towel. I'm frustrated with what has just happened out there and I need to get control of myself. I throw the towel down a little sharply and then I look up to where Haylee is sunbathing and let my eyes travel down the length of her body. She has propped herself up on her elbows and is looking right at me. My face breaks into a smile and I feel a sense of calm settle over me again. I grab a beer and move up to sit down on the seat across from her. Of course Sam is there with her. He eyes me and then looks back up at her. I'm willing to bet he'd defend her as readily as he would Griff and that thought puts me at ease for her sake.

I apologize for waking her and she explains that she hasn't been sleeping. Damn! That means she heard the whole awful conversation down there. I'm thinking of ways to explain things to her even though I'm not quite ready yet. When I look at the way she is looking back at me though, my mind goes blank. Her eyelids are heavy and she is looking up through those thick lashes of hers and her mouth is open a fraction. She tips her beer bottle up to take a sip and I am mesmerized by the long, slender curve of her neck and the way her little, pink tongue darts out to lick her lips when she's finished. I adjust in the seat to shift my sudden hard-on in my bathing suit. I want nothing more than to lean forward, slide my hand into her damp hair and pull her mouth against mine. I've dreamed of kissing those lips for quite a few years now and here she is sitting in front of me barely clothed . . .

This line of thought is not helping the situation between my legs right now. I clear my throat and try to make the brain in my head take over again. “So what are your plans for college?” My voice comes out low and laced with the desire for her that is coursing through my body.

“I'm just going to Durham Tech in the fall,” she speaks softly as if she's feeling exactly what I am.

“What will you study?” I know Haylee is pretty smart. She could go to a whole mess of different schools but she's chosen to stay at home. Is it a financial decision or does it have more to do with Griff and her mom being here? Maybe she is afraid to go off on her own. I just want to pick her brain and really get to know the woman in front me now.

“I'm just doing liberal arts for now, you know, until I really figure out what I want to do,” she replies. “How 'bout you? Did you squeeze in college at all, now that you're famous?”

She's teasing me. This is good. This is better than running away or making comments about my absence. I grin at her because I am guessing she thinks she knows the answer to that question already. She probably thinks I am a slacker and do nothing but board. “I've actually got two years of college behind me already.”

Her eyebrows shoot up slightly and I chuckle. Yup, she's surprised. Hopefully I can keep surprising her in a good ways to make up for the seedier surprises of my past life. “What are you studying?”

“Business,” I reply and then I see her face fall a bit and I realize what she must be thinking. “Not like my old man. I have no desire to follow in his footsteps. I've just had this idea in the back of my mind and I'm hoping someday I can make it happen.”

Luckily she seems satisfied with that answer. I'm not ready to go into any detail yet because I have a lot of stuff to work out and work through first. I will tell her eventually though, just like with everything else. The song 'Second Chance' by Shinedown comes on the radio then and I smile when I look at her. I remember when this song came out. “It's your song, Hayles,” I reply, and she listens with a smile as well. I can imagine she's remembering back to that time. I used to sing along whenever it came on the radio and I'd always look at her or think of her when they sang about 'Halley's Comet.'

She looks away for a second and I see her take a deep breath and swallow hard. She turns back and her light blue eyes lock with mine. “Okay, Chase. . .I have to ask you a question.”

Oh shit. I do not like the sound of that. I've known it's coming sooner or later. The hard part is, I'm not prepared because her question could be so many different things. I can't get myself ready to answer her if I don't know for sure what it is she is going to ask. It's very unsettling. I give my head a slight nod to let her know that I'll try and answer her.

“Why did you lie to me?” Her eyes immediately fill with tears but she doesn't look away this time. I feel like I've just been kicked in the gut. I've always hated to see her cry and now to know that her tears are because of something I did just rips me up. When I don't answer right away because I'm not sure what she's talking about, she steels herself, like she's trying to hide her vulnerability and asks, “Why did you promise me that you would write and call and visit me and then do none of those things?”

Her tone is harsh and the tears are streaming down her cheeks. My heart is pounding against my ribs. “I didn't lie to you . . .” I start to say but she cuts me off.

“You did! You
promised
me and then you didn't even so much as write me a letter!” Her face is turning red and I can tell that she's pissed off, but I don't understand what she's talking about.

“Hayles. . .” I start again and she's about to cut me off again, but I grab her hand and get her attention. “Listen to me, Haylee,” I beg her with my brows drawn together and my head shaking in disbelief. “I wrote to you every week for the first six months. . . “ She's shaking her head angrily in denial but I keep going anyway. “I wrote you, and I included a page for you to give to Griff and Brynn every week. After six months of writing and never hearing back from any of you, I gave up, I guess. I thought you all were so pissed off at me for leaving that you didn't want to talk to me anymore.”

She still looks so hurt and angry and I don't understand why she doesn't believe what I am saying. Had she just not even read the letters?

“I never got a single letter from you. . . “ she starts to say and then her voice gets lost in a sob. “You didn't have a facebook account, you had a new address and cell phone number so we had no way to get in touch with you . . . .I waited for a letter like you'd said with your new contact info but it never came.”

I sit there stunned for a minute. How is that possible? I had truly sent them a letter each week and addressed it only to Haylee. There were instructions inside to give a page to Griff and Brynn. How had this happened? I'm not big on technology so I rarely use e-mail, and half the time at that time, I forgot I even had the damn thing.

“Did you get the address wrong or forget to put them in the mail?” she sniffles. No wonder she's so pissed off. I am beginning to see her perspective in a whole new light.

I shake my head and look at her sadly. “No. I'm pretty sure I knew your address by heart.” I pause, wanting to tell her that I had memorized that and so many other things about her because I had fallen in love with her but this isn't the time for that. “And I put each of them in the mailbox right at the post office each time.”

She put her arms on her knees and lets her face fall into her hands and she sobs. I close my eyes for a second and struggle with what the hell to do. She is so broken and I understand that so much more clearly all of a sudden. I get down on my knees in front of her and wrap my arms around her. It's what I've been wanting to do since I saw her again that morning and now I just want to take away her pain. She doesn't push me away.

“Hayles, I'm so sorry,” I whisper into her hair as I hold her trembling body. No wonder I'd never heard back from any of them. They weren't pissed at me for going. They were pissed at me because they thought I never tried to contact them. It had all been a stupid miscommunication and a bunch of incorrect assumptions.

If she didn't received the letters, then she doesn't know how I really feel about her. Not through words anyway, so I'll have to show her. “I didn't forget about you. I missed you each and every day, and it killed me to think that you didn't want anything to do with me anymore.”

She pulls back just a bit so that she can lift her head up and she wipes her cheeks with her shaking hands. “And I'm so sorry too, Chase. I'm
so
sorry that you thought I was upset with you and just ignoring your letters, but I swear I never got them. I've been a wreck these past four years missing you and all the while thinking that you had just moved on to new friends and forgotten all about us. I remember your exact words the day before you left, how you'd promised me. And I always believed in you, so . . . ”

“I didn't forget. . . not even close,” I smile and put my hands on either side of her face, my own face just inches from hers. “You were my best friend, Hayles, and I want to get that back again. I'm
here
to get that back.” How could I possibly forget the girl who was always right there to help me out? Every summer she was my sidekick.

My parents had been slave drivers until they could afford a maid and a yard service. Heaven forbid they should lift a finger and do anything themselves. As soon as I was old enough, they had me doing all the yard work and sometimes even cleaning the house. I wasn't able to go out boating on the weekends until my chores were done. Haylee often showed up early in the morning with her hair pulled back and gardening gloves on, offering to help me out.

“The quicker you get done, the quicker we can hit the water,” she told me and for quite a few weekends during our youth, she and I were my parents' very own endentured servants. I hated the fact that she had to come help me with this crap. I knew that she could have gone out with her dad or Griff but she didn't feel right leaving me behind, so it became our routine
.

The boat begins rocking then and Max hops up into the cabin, quickly followed by Griff, both dripping wet and grinning like fools. These guys have really shitty timing. Haylee and I are interrupted once again.

“Sorry, guys,” Max mutters looking kind of uncomfortable. “You want us to jump back in for a little while?” By now all three of them are standing there gawking at the moment we'd been having.

“No, we're fine,” I say and sit back on the opposite bench as Haylee wipes the tears from her cheeks. Griff is glancing back and forth between us trying to figure out what the heck we've been talking about.

Things are a little awkward for a few minutes as they all settle back into the boat, and Haylee and I try to pretend that nothing has happened. I am relieved that this stuff has finally come out. We are both hurt over something that neither of us had any control over. I don't understand how those letters just disappeared but at least now I know that my friends hadn't just washed their hands of me. I know I can't go back, but I'm pretty sure things would have been different for me had I known. She said that she believes in me and that is like another tiny kick in the gut. I let her down. Maybe not the way she thought, but I still have more to tell her.