Second Opinion (23 page)

“When?”

“It was finalized about four months ago.”

I didn’t know what to think. Part of me longed to hold her in my arms while she spoke of the pain of marrying someone who she knew was wrong for her, but another part of me knew I’d simply never get past what she’d done to me.

And so instead of responding, I devoured my French toast.

“What else did you want to know?” she finally asked, still picking at her bagel. She hadn’t even spread her cream cheese.

I chewed my mouthful of delectable egg-battered and fried bread covered in syrup. I swallowed and then took a gulp of coffee before I spoke. I was pissed, but I was in public. I knew well enough to keep my voice low, to make it appear like I was having a nice breakfast with my lady friend when in fact I was holding back everything I wanted to scream at her.

“I want to know why you thought it was okay to walk out on me twice. I want to know why you used me for that week and left me. But most of all,” I said, leaning forward intimately toward her, “I want to know what sort of person breaks a man twice and then walks back in not only expecting forgiveness, but wanting a third fucking chance.”

She looked surprised. She’d always held all of the cards in our relationship, wore the proverbial pants, because I’d let her. But I was finally taking control. And, unfortunately, that only spurred her on.

The surprise in her eyes turned to heat.

“God dammit, Grant,” she muttered. “Why couldn’t you talk to me like that seven years ago? If I’d known you were going to turn into this man who did what he wanted, who had ambition, who had this hardness and this drive, I wouldn’t have said no the first time. I wouldn’t have been scared. I would have been sure that we belonged together.”

“Oh fuck that, Rachelle. That’s a flat out lie and you know it. You can’t sit here and say I did everything wrong or I wasn’t man enough for you.”

“That’s not what I mean.”

“If you saw a future then, you would have said yes. It’s as simple as that.”      

“I did see a future.”

“But you waited four years to contact me again. You told me I wasn’t ‘marriage material.’ You fell in love and got engaged to another man.”

“I never stopped loving you.” She took a sip of her coffee.

I shook my head. “It doesn’t matter. Your actions show who you love most in this whole equation.”

“Michael?”

“No. Not Michael.” I chuckled. “Yourself.”             

“That’s a little harsh.”

“Truth hurts, I guess.”

“Are you seeing somebody?”

“That’s not your business anymore.”

“Answer my question,” she demanded.

“Why?”

“Because we have a history. Because we share something that goes back a whole lot of years.”

“History doesn’t mean anything.”

“History repeats itself.”

I chuckled mirthlessly. “Sure fucking does. You walked out on me twice. I’m bracing myself for the third.”

“It’s not some weird pattern, Grant.”

“Bullshit.”

“It was a mistake coming here.”

“Why?”

She was silent.

“Is it because I’m making you face some tough truths?”

She shrugged.

“You figured you’d show up and I’d come right back to you again, didn’t you?”

She stared down at her bagel, and that was my answer.

“I hope she makes you happy,” she whispered. “You deserve it.”

“We all deserve happiness, Rachelle. Despite the pain you put me through, I want you to be happy. It just can’t be with me.”

“For what it’s worth, I’m so sorry for what I did. For hurting you, for walking out on you, for not bothering to open up to you when I should have. Our lives could have taken such different paths, but I screwed everything up.”

I didn’t respond. Confirming her words wouldn’t help anything, no matter how true they were.

“You ready for the check?” the waitress asked. I nodded, and she handed it to me.

I glanced at the total and tucked my credit card into the pocket.

“How much do I owe you?” Rachelle asked.

“I’ve got it.”

“Ever the gentleman.”

I shrugged. I didn’t know what to say.

I took care of the bill and then we walked together toward the parking lot.

“Look, Grant. I know it doesn’t change anything, but you need to know I regret what I did.”

“You’re right. It doesn’t change anything.”

“Can I at least have a hug?”

We stood just outside the entrance to Wrens. It was a familiar place with the familiar woman who wasn’t as familiar as I had remembered.

She was virtually a stranger now. We were both three years older, and I was three years wiser. She was divorced. I couldn’t fathom the thought that she’d actually been married.

And after last time, I had a hard time trusting she wasn’t still in some sort of relationship.

But none of it mattered. All that mattered was Avery. I had to see her. I had to explain about the night before. I had to be honest with her, because we were just at the beginning, and honesty was the one thing I really needed. The one thing I really valued in a relationship, particularly given my history with the woman standing in front of me.

I leaned toward Rachelle and allowed her to wrap her arms around me. It felt good to hold her in my arms again, but it no longer felt right. It no longer felt essential.

But there was someone else who was right.

She was essential.

And I had to let her know how much I needed her.

Rachelle’s arms wrapped around me in a tight hug. I felt her shaking beneath me as tears racked her body.

Her tear-stained eyes gazed up at me. It was weird holding her. I wanted to feel the excitement, the arousal, the need for her, but I didn’t feel any of it.

All I could think about was Avery.

Rachelle lifted her lips toward mine. I felt her lips meet my own. She kissed me softly, but I didn’t have it in me to kiss her back. She pulled back, and she looked up at me. Tears sparkled in her eyes.

But none of it affected me the way it should have.

I didn’t enjoy holding her in my arms as I once had. We weren’t in the same place we had been in the past, and the feelings I’d held onto since we’d last parted were finally gone.

It just took seeing her again for me to realize I’d been over her for a long time.

“Goodbye, Rachelle,” I said, finally pulling out of our embrace.

“Can I see you tomorrow before I head out?” she asked, digging through her purse for her keys.

“I don’t think that would be a good idea.”

“You don’t mean that.”

I shrugged. “Guess you’ll never know. I have to go.”

“I love you, Grant.”

I couldn’t respond. I didn’t know how to, so I strode toward my car, got in it, and headed toward Avery’s.

Chapter 27

Her car was in the parking lot, so the fact she wasn’t answering her door was complete bullshit.

I tried texting her.
I’m standing at your door. I need to talk to you.

I banged on her door again.

I didn’t know what I was going to say, and I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I knew something had to be done. I felt a sick twist in my gut at the thought that maybe she didn’t want anything to do with me after I’d walked out on her the night before. It was the most ridiculous notion in the world to me after the revelations I’d just had at breakfast with Rachelle.

She finally threw open the door. “What?”

“Can we talk?”

“Talk.” She stood in the doorway, blocking my entrance. She looked like some combination of hurt and angry. Sadness tinted her eyes. Her face was flushed, and she looked like the most beautiful woman on Earth. All I could think of was how much I wanted to hold her.

But the look in her eyes told me the feeling wasn’t mutual.

This was sure a far cry from the time she’d opened her door wearing nothing but a smile.

“I’m sorry about last night.”

She rolled her eyes.

“I got a text and it threw me for a loop. I need to explain what happened.”

“You walked out without an explanation. You didn’t answer my texts or my calls. I was worried about you, and you didn’t bother to explain what was going on.”

“I’m sorry.”

“Who was so important?”

“It was nothing. Not more important than you.”

“Who was the text from?” Her voice was hard and angry. She clearly didn’t want to play games, and there was no beating around the bush.

“My ex.”

“Oh, that makes it so much better,” she said sarcastically.

“No, you don’t understand. She’s the one who broke my heart twice. She’s the one who I need to tell you about.”

“Look, Grant. I like you, but I don’t do relationships for a reason.”

“Like it or not, we’re in a relationship. And you need to let me explain a few things.”

“I don’t need to do anything. We never committed to each other. You’re free to meet up with your ex whenever you want. Just like I’m free to fuck whatever guy I decide to leave Strikers with tonight.”

I can’t even describe the pain that lanced through me at her words.

The thought of her with another man…it was enough to drive a sane man to insanity.

Fuck.

Just the thought of another man’s mouth on hers, his eyes on her naked body.

I couldn’t deal with it.

I wanted to punch my fist through the wall.

I realized violence would accomplish nothing, but I was at a loss. This beautiful woman was making threats I didn’t know how to handle.

And deep down, I knew it was completely my own fault.

“Will you please listen to me?”

“No thanks.”

“Avery, please. It isn’t what it sounds like.”

“How adorably cliché. I don’t care, Grant. Let’s just stop whatever this is before it gets too serious. I just want to have fun, and what happened last night was a reality check for me. We were getting too serious too fast.”

“Yeah, we were,” I admitted. “But it’s what I want.
You
are what I want.”

“Well, I don’t know what to tell you. You’re hot. You’re great in bed. But I can’t do anything more than that.”

“It’s okay to take a risk, Avery.” My voice was soft, because I’d just barely convinced myself. I wasn’t sure how I was going to convince her, too.

“No, it’s not. It doesn’t matter
why
it happened. The fact of the matter is it happened. You walked out. You didn’t respond to me. And that hurt more than I care to admit. So I’m going to cut my losses here and move on before I get caught in your web and I can’t get out.”

“Will you please just let me explain? So you could understand why her text affected me the way it did?”

She shook her head. “You had your chance to tell me about her. I gave myself over to you when I told you about my past. You had ample opportunities to tell me about your own, but you chose to keep it to yourself. And now it’s too late.”

“It’s not too late. It’ll never be too late for us.”

“Then how come it is?” she asked.

I wasn’t sure how to answer that. She glanced at me one last time with sadness, and then she shut the door in my face.

CHAPTER 28

I sat in my leather recliner, my elbows on my knees and my feet on the floor as a tumbler of whiskey over ice dangled from my fingertips.

I stared over at the couch where I’d fucked Avery just a few nights earlier, wondering how the hell everything had gotten so fucked up.

It was Rachelle. Fucking Rachelle did this to me.

Again.

She’d broken my heart once when she’d said no to my proposal of marriage.

She’d broken my heart again when she’d fucked me for a week and given me the hope we’d end up together only to confess she was marrying another man.

And now she’d broken my heart a third time by fucking everything up between Avery and me.

I’d just admitted to myself Avery was who I really wanted. I’d been given a third chance with Rachelle, but I didn’t want it. I wanted to get our breakfast over with so I could see Avery, so I could confess the hurt of my past and tell her I had fallen in love with her and I wanted to start looking toward the possibilities of a future together.

But Avery was pissed at me. I’d walked out on her without an explanation, and when I told her it was because my ex had texted me, she had assumed the worst.

I wasn’t sure how to get her to listen to me.

I didn’t know how to convince someone who didn’t want to be involved in a relationship that what we had together was going to be worth it.

I’d been in her position more than once. I’d been the guy telling the girl I didn’t want a relationship. I’d had plenty of girls who wanted more than a few nights with me, but after Rachelle, I’d never been interested in anything more than sex.

Until I met Avery.

I couldn’t just sit back and allow her to let us go.

We had something together, something amazing and special that deserved to be explored. So I was going to fight for her. We belonged together. We deserved happiness, and we deserved each other.

I just had to find a way to convince her of that.

I tossed back the rest of the whiskey and set the glass on my end table. I got up and paced back and forth in front of my entertainment center. The television was off and my house was quiet. Too quiet.

I wanted it filled with the sounds of Avery. Her voice, her laughter.

The sound of us making love on my couch.

The sound of me telling her about my past with Rachelle.

Instead, I only had the sounds in my head to keep me company because she didn’t want to hear it.

But I knew the truth. She was fighting the idea of exploring something more with me. She was scared.

And the absolute truth was I had been scared, too. I had been too scared to do anything about it when I’d had the chance, and now I was scared I’d wasted the time we had together and it was too late for us.

It couldn’t be.

I glanced at the clock on my phone. It was Saturday night, nearly eight. Avery had already admitted to me she was heading to Strikers that night. Strikers was a fairly seedy bar known for its strong drinks. I didn’t like the idea of her at a bar where any man in the world could take advantage of her. And worse, I didn’t like the idea of her going home with one of them.

So I’d be the one she was going home with.

I knew she wouldn’t go until at least ten, so I had two hours to kill. I wanted to try to convince her not to go at all, but that idea was futile.

I continued my pacing. I had to have the confidence this was going to work because the alternative was too heartbreaking. I’d just finally accepted the idea of Avery and me. I wasn’t about to let it go now that I believed in it.

I took a quick shower and formulated my plan. I did good thinking in the shower, so I thought it would help. Instead, as I dried off after I got out, I felt nervous. I didn’t know what I was going to say to her. She was stubborn, as stubborn as me, and that was the thing that was going to stand in my way.

I put some product in my hair and got dressed. I brushed my teeth. I did all of the mundane tasks I needed to do, and then I looked at my clock again.

Twenty minutes had passed.

This waiting was torture.

I thought about calling Andrew. He was always up for trolling the bar for women, but that’s not what the night was going to be about. I wasn’t trolling. I was looking for one woman in particular.

I texted Avery. I couldn’t help it.
Peaches, I’m not giving up without a fight. You know that, right? –G

I waited for a reply, and one came about five minutes later.
I figured. But it’s too late.

She didn’t sign off with her “A.”

She always signed off with her “A.” It was her trademark, our inside joke.

But she left it off.

It’s never too late. –G

My phone buzzed with another text, but it wasn’t from Avery. It was from Alyssa, the girl I’d fucked in my garage on top of my car a few weeks before Quinn’s wedding.

I’d forgotten all about her. It just proved to me how much Avery had taken over my thoughts. Even though Avery hadn’t responded to my text, at least I made her think of me again. And that was one small step in the right direction.

Alyssa’s text said:
You free tonight?

Sorry. I’m actually seeing someone.

My phone started ringing seconds later.

“Are you serious?” Alyssa asked when I answered.

I chuckled. “Yes.”

“When did this happen?”

“It’s recent. But it’s someone I’ve known awhile and it got serious fast.”

“Grant Carpenter is in a
serious
relationship? Stop the presses.”

“Shocked the shit out of me, too. Believe me.”

“Who is the lucky girl?”

“You wouldn’t know her,” I said. I didn’t know who Alyssa did or didn’t know, but the last I’d heard from Avery, our relationship was still under wraps.

“If you ever get sick of her, you know where to find me.”

“That I do. Thanks, Alyssa.”

“I have to admit, there was a time when I wanted it to be me.”

What does a guy say to something like that? I didn’t respond. Luckily, she filled the quiet space in our conversation.

“But I guess it just wasn’t in the cards for us. You deserve happiness, Grant, and I hope you get it.”

“I hope you do, too.” This conversation had taken a turn for the serious with a girl I’d fucked once. Well, for one day.

Okay, fine.

Three times in one day.

We said our goodbyes, and there went one number to delete from the little black book. I glanced at the clock. I still had lots of time to kill, so I logged onto my work email. I had a new one from my boss.

To: Grant Carpenter

From: Austin Williams

Subject: Vacation Winner

Sent 3 Hours Ago

Grant,

Your name was drawn in this month’s giveaway. You won a two night staycation at the Westin La Paloma Resort in Tucson. I’ve CCed Deb on this email; she will set you up with the details. The room is already booked for this Friday and Saturday night. You’ve been approved for half day vacation on Friday, and you will be given a Visa gift card in the amount of $150. If you can’t go this weekend, please let Deb know immediately so she can arrange an alternate winner.

Congratulations, and have a great trip.

AW

At least that was one spot of good news in an otherwise fairly shitty weekend. If I could get Avery to talk to me, I could take her with me to Tucson. We could figure things out there.

I emailed Deb, our secretary, right away to let her know I was free to go. My boss had an agreement with the Westin, and they donated free weekend getaways to our office frequently.

I’d figure out the rest of the details later. I emailed Austin, too, to thank him for the trip, and then I looked up the resort. It featured a killer pool, a spa, and plenty to do in the area.

I was all in.

I’d wasted almost an hour, so I decided to head over to Strikers.

I walked in and immediately felt old.

Hell, I
was
old. Certainly too old to be hanging out in bars by myself.

Or was it old men who hung out in bars alone? Had I become an old man?

I was only thirty-two, but I’d been hanging out in bars for eleven years.

Okay, thirteen if I’m being honest.

Fake IDs aren’t that hard to come by.

It was time to grow up and move on. The crowd dancing on the dance floor looked at least ten years younger than me.

Probably because they were.

Sure, the women looked good, but they were too young. We were at different places in our lives.

And besides, those women weren’t Avery.

I glanced around the place and didn’t see her, so I took a seat at the bar. The bartender stopped to flirt, but I wasn’t interested. I had picked up a few girls at this very place, bartenders included, but that part of my life seemed like it was over.

I suddenly only had eyes for one woman.

I wasn’t sure when exactly that had happened, but it had.

I ordered whiskey, and I sipped as I kept an eye toward the door. It was a quarter after ten when she walked in. She was with Reese and Jill.

She glanced around the bar, completely missing me sitting there.

I took another sip of my drink, sucking an ice cube into my mouth. I let it melt slowly on my tongue as I saw her find a table with her friends and take a seat.

I was doing my best to exercise the patience I knew I had somewhere inside, but I really just wanted to go to her table, grab her by the arm, and lead her outside, where I would kiss the fuck out of her before taking her home to bang the hell out of her.

A waitress appeared at their table, and I saw Avery order a drink. I tried not to stare, but she was gorgeous.

I still wasn’t sure how I’d never really noticed her before. I was so busy looking for nothing serious that I missed the one thing that had been right in front of me the whole time.

I couldn’t help but think about how much time we had already wasted, and now we were wasting more with this ridiculousness. Sure, I’d reacted stupidly to a text I hadn’t been expecting, but it was a little dramatic of Avery to completely ignore me and end things with me over my one indiscretion.

It had to be her fear. She was terrified of getting serious. She was scared I was going to hurt her the way she’d been hurt in the past. She’d told me about what happened to her in high school, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized her high school situation had simply been the springboard for the way she acted in her adult life. Surely there was more to her story, more to the reasons why she avoided commitment.

It was up to me to help her face her fears so she could overcome them. I would take that on, because without even trying, she’d broken me of those exact same fears.

I started with a text.
Please let me explain. –G

I saw her check her text and then toss her phone back onto the table.

No response.

I polished off my glass of whiskey and slammed my glass on the counter. I signaled the bartender to close out my tab. She gave me “the look” again, but I ignored it.

There was only one woman in that bar who I planned to take home with me, and she was currently ignoring my texts.

I headed over to their table, and Reese spotted me first.

“Hey, Grant!” she smiled. The music was pumping, so we were shouting to hear each other.

My eyes finally met hers.

She was pissed, but she was hiding it well from her friends. I’d learned how to read her pretty well in the time we’d been together.

Maybe because we’d spent nearly every waking moment together we could. And most of the sleeping moments, come to think of it.

“Hey,” I said to her, trying to play it cool in front of her friends.

She nodded and shot me a fake smile, hiding the heat in her eyes by gazing down at her drink.

“Want to sit with us?” Reese asked.

The table had four chairs, and only three were occupied. The free one was next to Avery.

“I’d love to,” I said, ignoring the daggers Avery was shooting with her eyes in my direction.

“What are you doing here?” Reese asked.

Shit. I hadn’t been prepared for questions. “A friend said she’d be coming here tonight, so I thought I’d swing by. What are you ladies doing here?”

“Avery wanted to come. She said she wanted a girls’ night out to forget about some guy.”

“I can help with that,” I said with a grin.

Reese and her friend were completely oblivious to the sexual tension dancing between Avery and me, to the heat and the emotions passing back and forth. She had no clue it was actually me who Avery wanted to go out to forget.