Second Thoughts (7 page)

“Why doesn’t that surprise me?” she said, sarcasm creeping into her voice.

“It was only a bit of fun.”

“Fun! You think?”

“Sorry, I didn’t mean fun; it was just a light-hearted act. It was a friend of hers. She wasn’t a real stripper,” she lied.

“I’m glad to hear it. I can’t believe that’s all she had lined up for you.”

Melissa took a mouthful of coffee and stood. “Maybe Eli reined her in. We just did the usual, party games, that sort of stuff.”

Should she tell her Sara turned up? What if Eli or Faye mentioned it and she hadn’t told her? It would seem like a betrayal on her behalf or much worse.

She braced herself and prayed her voice wouldn’t betray her. “Oh and Faye invited my ex,” she said breezily.
There I’ve said it.

Bettina let out a scream, her hands jerked as hot scalding coffee made contact with her skin.

Melissa leapt out of her seat, ran a kitchen towel under cold water and gave it to her.

“Are you okay?”

“Yes,” she said dabbing at her hand.

The air could have been cut with a chainsaw it was that thick. She barely moved as she waited to hear what Bettina was going to say.

“So which ex was it?”

There it was. The interrogation look. Melissa rolled her eyes, only to avoid having to look at Bettina’s. “Sara obviously. You say it like I’ve had a string of lovers.”

“You could have for all I know, considering you don’t talk about your past.” She put the towel down and blew on her hand.

Bettina’s voice was steeped with insinuation and innuendo as if she could sense Melissa was hiding something.

A cold sweat broke out on Melissa’s forehead. Whether this was because of Bettina’s line of questioning or Sara’s reappearance she didn’t know. “I don’t talk about the past because it’s over.”

“And how does Sara feel about you getting married?” she said leaning closer to her.

Melissa hastily averted her eyes and looked around the kitchen. She was starting to feel hot under the collar now. Although she didn’t directly say it, it was obvious to her how Sara felt. She knew how she would have felt if she was attending Sara’s hen do. Gutted. Heartbroken. “Oh um, she was really happy for me, us I mean. To be honest, I hardly spoke to her. Just had a little chit-chat at the beginning of the night.”

“How long were you together again?”

Everything in her wanted to tell her to stop with the questions. She was making her feel like she was in custody for a crime she didn’t commit. But she knew better. Bettina would become suspicious and she’d never hear the end of it. “Oh I don’t know; a couple of years?” Melissa replied nonchalantly.
Two years, eleven months and fifteen days
. “Why does it matter? It was years ago. Anyway, I’d better get a move on. I’m going to be late at this rate.”

Bettina stood and walked to the front door with her. “Don’t forget lunch is at twelve.”

“Do you need me to pick anything up on my way home?”

“Just a cheesecake for dessert.”

“Okay. See you later.” She kissed Bettina’s cheek and reached for the door handle, struggling to keep her hand steady.

“Melissa, you would tell me if something was wrong, wouldn’t you?”

Melissa turned slowly, her breath lodged in her throat. There wasn’t a chance in hell that she was going to tell the woman she was going to marry and have a child with the truth. She may be a lot of things but she wasn’t stupid. “You know I would.”

Bettina frowned slightly. “I know, I’m just being silly. Drive carefully.”

Melissa bobbed her head in agreement. The last thing on her mind was being careful about anything.

Melissa’s Mazda 3 battled against the oncoming wind as she depressed her foot on the accelerator, swerving the car into the left lane at the last second. Cars hooted from behind and drivers gave her dirty looks as they drove parallel beside her. She’d drop by Scott’s after she’d been to Faye’s, she decided as she continued to drive like a woman possessed.

Twenty minutes later she sat outside a contemporary block of white flats. Leaning forward on the steering wheel, she looked up to the second floor. Faye’s bedroom curtains were drawn. She hated to wake her this early but she had to know why Sara had come back. Surely she couldn’t have come all this way just for a hen do. Within minutes she had run up two flights of stairs and was standing outside Faye’s front door. She knocked several times with her knuckles until she heard movement.

“I seriously hope someone has died, to be woken up at this goddam time of the morning.” She heard Faye saying as she pulled the door open.

“Jesus Christ, Mel, Just ’cause you’re on the go twenty-four-seven doesn’t mean the rest of us sane people are.” She flung the door back and turned, walking slowly down the hallway.

“How are you this morning?”

Faye stopped, turned around and looked at her as if she had gone insane. “How am...How am I? How the bloody hell do you think? Good to see you looking fresh and breezy though...oh yeah that’s because you left early.”

Faye had done a lot of stupid impulsive things but this one was the worst yet. Bringing Sara back into her life could have serious repercussions. She tried to keep the anger out of her voice when she spoke.

“Why didn’t you tell me she was coming back?”

Faye frowned. “Who?”

“Don’t play coy with me, Faye. Sara. Why didn’t you tell me you’d invited her?”

“Because I didn’t know for sure. She didn’t reply so I assumed she wasn’t coming.”

“It’s really out of order you know. You should have asked me first.”

“I’m sorry, but I thought you might want to see her again.”

Melissa looked at her dumbstruck. She couldn’t tell if she was being serious or taking the piss. Why would she want to see the woman who had chewed her up and spat her out? “What on earth gave you that idea, especially after the way we broke up?”

“I dunno. At the time it seemed like a good idea. Lay old ghosts to rest sort of thing.”

“Jesus, Faye, that wasn’t your call. I’ve come to terms with our break-up. The last thing I need is to be raking it up again. I had to tell Bettina about her this morning.”

“And what? As much as Bettina hates to acknowledge it, you did have a life before you met her. And had sex with a hot babe,” she said with a wicked grin. “Now I’m up, I’m gonna have a shower. Make us a coffee please.”

Melissa walked into the narrow kitchen and switched the kettle on. Quickly making Faye’s coffee, she waited in the adjoining living room until Faye joined her wearing shorts and a t-shirt, rubbing a towel over her hair.

“So what were you two talking about all night?” Melissa asked, trying to keep her voice level.

“This and that. Nothing in particular.” She dropped dramatically onto the wide leather sofa.

Melissa picked up a cushion and playfully threw it at her. “Er you’d better do better than that, after pulling the rug from under my world.”

“Do I detect a bit of paranoia in your voice?” Faye laughed as she caught the cushion and placed it behind her head.

Melissa’s eyes widened. “Are you crazy? Don’t be silly. What would I have to be paranoid about?”

“Melissa, I know you. What’s up?” Faye’s eyebrows shot up a fraction, her bloodshot eyes scrutinising Melissa’s face. “You still got the hots for her?” She jerked up into a sitting position when Melissa remained silent. “You’re fucking kidding me! I knew it. See, how can you marry Bettina when you’ve still got the hots for your ex?”

Melissa stood and walked over to the window, keeping her back to Faye. “For your information, I don’t have the hots for her. Bettina is my life now.”

“Right, so does that mean you’re not going see Sara again?”

She leaned her forehead against the cold glass pane. “No, I’m not.” She tried to ignore the tightening in her stomach. She might not have any control over the way her body reacted to Sara, but she had control of her mind, and she was not about to let it loose like a runaway train. “I don’t think me seeing Sara socially would go down well with Bettina do you?”

Faye reached for her coffee on the table in front of her. “In that case, you won’t be interested in meeting up with me tomorrow night?”

Forcing a smile onto her lips, Melissa turned. “Why? What you got planned now?”

Faye grinned. “A night on the Thames with Sara.”

Melissa strode into Scott’s small print shop, gently closing the door behind her. Her eyes took in the rows of printed t-shirts and posters hanging on the wall but her mind was still on her conversation with Faye. That Faye and Sara were going out together was nothing unusual – they’d all been good friends at university. What did bother her was the fact that Faye was being so secretive about what they had discussed. From what she remembered, Sara and Faye had their heads together for hours and they didn’t look like they were talking about the weather.

She smiled at Scott as he looked up from the computer screen he was hovering over. It was strange thinking of her dad’s best friend as Eli’s partner.

When Eli had reconnected with Scott at her parent’s funeral Melissa had never imagined that the two of them would ever be more than just friends. Not only was Scott mourning the loss of two of his best friends but also the demise of his thirty-year marriage. Melissa was surprised when, what started between them as a place of solace and comfort between two lost souls, had blossomed into a passionate affair despite the twenty year age gap.

“Melissa,” Scott said as he moved around the counter dressed casually in dark blue jeans and a white shirt. She could smell the sour odour of whiskey on his breath as he leant down and kissed her cheek, his morning stubble prickling her skin. “I didn’t think you’d be here so early, what after having a late night and everything.”

She looked up into his almond-shaped eyes. Did Scott know something about Sara? Was her guilt that obvious? Common sense told her she was being paranoid, that Scott was just being his usual friendly self, but she couldn’t help but wonder.

“The party wasn’t as boisterous as I thought it was going to be,” she murmured. She saw Sara in her mind’s eye, the image so vivid she could have been standing right there in front of her.

“So, not long now before your big day. I can tell you Eli is beside herself with excitement, as am I.”

Melissa rubbed her forehead, forcing herself to banish the thoughts of Sara from her mind and focus on what Scott was saying. “Um yes. I can’t wait.”

He leaned his back against the counter. “I hope you’ll tell me if I’m over-stepping the mark here.” He tapped his chin with his finger as his eyes weighed her up. “But it seems to me that you aren’t that involved with your wedding preparations.”

Melissa smiled. “I appreciate your concern Scott, but it’s fine, really. Wedding planning isn’t my thing if I’m honest. I find it rather boring. I’d just get in the way.”

“You’re so much like your mother. She couldn’t abide all that girly stuff either.”

Melissa glanced down at her hands. Everyone always commented on how alike she was to her mother but if truth be known she was closer to her father. She always had the feeling her mother regretted having her. She couldn’t put her finger on why, but sometimes she would catch her staring at her with a sadness that was hard to miss. Perhaps that’s why she looked for the security she lacked in Bettina.

“It’s hard not having my parents around. Especially at a time like this. It’s as if I can’t immerse myself into the whole wedding thing without feeling a deep sense of sadness.”

“I know, dear, I know. As you’re aware I lost my parents at a young age. It can have a devastating effect on a person’s life. Just know that I’m here for you, Melissa. Always.”

Scott’s eyes grew misty. For a second she thought he was going to cry. Instead he cleared his throat. The moment between them broken.

“Anyway, back to business. The menus are all ready. If you need another run give me a bell.”

“I will do.”

A door behind the counter opened and a teenager with unruly red hair walked in carrying a box. The baggy faded jeans he wore hung loose around his waist.

“Ah, here’s Luke now,” he said taking the box from the boy, withdrawing a couple of menus and handing them to Melissa. “I can’t wait to come and try out your chilli hot chocolate.”

She toyed with the ends of her hair as she scanned the menu. It had taken her two months of trying every combination of coffee with different flavours until she’d found the right concoction. As she had used them as her guinea pigs, Bettina and Eli had sworn blind they’d never drink another coffee as long as they lived.

Satisfied there weren’t any mistakes with names, or ingredients, she looked up at him with a smile. “Drop by whenever you like. It’ll be on the house. I just hope everyone else is going to be as open-minded as you.”

“I’m sure they will. Is everything okay with the design?”

“Yes, perfect. I’d better make a move and put these out on display.”

“See you at lunch then.”

Scott gave her shoulder a quick squeeze before she turned to leave. Reaching her car she fished her phone out of her pocket as it began to ring. Glancing down at the small screen, she didn’t recognise the telephone number. That wasn’t unusual; it could be anyone from her suppliers to one of her customers.

“Hello,” she said cheerfully.

“Missy, it’s Sara.”

She hesitated. How was it possible that it only took her voice to electrify her? “Sara?”

“I got your number from Faye. I hope you don’t mind me calling.”

Her hand squeezed the keys she was holding, until she felt the metal imprinting on the softness of her skin. “No, of course not. How’re you doing?”

“To be honest I’m feeling a bit in limbo today. I was wondering if you want to meet up for a coffee.”

Melissa’s throat constricted. “When?”

“How about now?”

A long pause ensued as Melissa’s lips struggled to form the words she knew she should be saying. “I...I...”

Melissa heard Sara exhale down the line. “I don’t bite, you should know that.”

“I don’t know, Sara.” Melissa swallowed hard. What if Bettina found out about them meeting up? She wouldn’t like it one little bit. But if she didn’t get her out of her system things could get a lot worse.
What you resist persists.