Secret of a Thousand Beauties (14 page)

Purple said, “Let’s go look for her.”

“But where?”

“I don’t know, maybe on the way to Soochow. . . .”

“Why there?”

“Where else would she go?”

I suspected that Purple was thinking the same thing I was—could Aunty be so upset that she might try to kill herself? But neither of us wanted to express our fear out loud.

There was no sign of Little Doll. Aunty must have taken our little sister with her.

I was starting to be really scared. I’d heard that high palace officials never went anywhere without their servants—even into death.

Purple pulled at me. “Let’s not waste any more time and go.”

“Sister Purple,” I stalled. “Three people are missing now, shouldn’t we call the police?”

“Are you out of your mind? You want Aunty’s identity revealed?”

 

At the neighboring village we rented bicycles, then rode as fast as we could to Soochow. But Purple tired easily and so we had to stop several times for her to rest. When we finally arrived at the city it was late afternoon. We rode around the streets looking for Aunty and Little Doll, but they were nowhere to be seen. Now we really worried that they might have tried to kill themselves. So we biked along the river, looking fearfully for any floating objects that might be bodies. We also kept calling out Aunty’s and Little Doll’s names. A few passersby cast us curious glances. Most simply hurried along, oblivious to our anxiety and fear. A few small children looked at us curiously as their mothers waited on benches.

Soon Purple and I realized searching for them like this was futile. We didn’t even know that they had come to Soochow and even if they had, they could be anywhere. But we were not willing to give up either. Finally, feeling completely drained, we bought some buns and washed them down with tea from our thermos as we sat under the cool shade of a willow tree. After that, exhausted from our journey, we both dozed off. When I woke up, it was already dark. Purple was still sound asleep next to me. Luckily, our bicycles were still there, leaning lopsidedly against a tree like two battered war horses. No other people were within sight.

I gave Purple’s shoulder a slight push. “Wake up, Sister Purple, wake up, it’s already nighttime!”

She jolted awake, exclaiming, “How long did I sleep?”

“We both slept for hours.”

As I was about to tell Purple that we’d better go back, she uttered softly, “Maybe Aunty doesn’t plan to kill herself but . . .”

“But what?”

“That’s what puzzles me, why would she just go away and abandon us?”

That made me think she was really going to kill herself and Little Doll.

“Oh, no!” I blurted out.

Purple was also screaming. “Look!”

“What?”

“There’s something strange in the river over there.”

“You’re sure it’s not just garbage?”

“I’m not sure, so let’s go take a look.”

When we got closer to the “object,” we both screamed at the same time.

It was a woman lying with her back up, undulating in the current, her long hair stuck on a tree branch. I was sure we both feared this might be Aunty Peony. But what about Little Doll?

I asked, “Should we call the police?”

Purple gave me a sharp look. “No, if it’s really Aunty, the police will come and search our house. They may even arrest us. I think we should just jump on our bicycles and get out of here.”

“But then we’ll never know if it is Aunty.”

“Whoever it is, will her ghost come after us?” Purple looked almost as if she had seen one right in front of her.

“I was married to a ghost; I’m not scared of them. Besides, maybe she’s still alive. I think we should take a look.” Of course I was just as scared but did my best to hide it.

Hands shaking, we used some thick branches to pull the body toward the shore, then got a closer look. To our utter relief, it was not Aunty Peony. But our relief was short-lived.

It was Leilei!

Purple started to scream, so I slapped a hand over her mouth. But I let go as she vomited. We stood together in silence.

“How could she be dead?” Purple asked.

I was wondering the same and had no explanation.

Feeling a wave of nausea myself, I asked, “What should we do?”

“Spring Swallow, don’t ask me . . . we need to think. Oh, Leilei, how could this happen to you?”

Then she covered her face and sobbed, her shoulders shaking violently. I held on to her and started sobbing myself.

When we finally calmed down and wiped away our tears, Purple said, “Listen, we can’t just leave Leilei here . . . we have to give her a proper burial to appease her soul.”

“But we can’t stay here . . . it’s dark now. Someone might come here and find us.”

“But we can’t carry her back either.”

Then I had an idea. “We’ll find the coolie with the donkey cart—the one who took us to the hospital. He can come here and take Leilei’s body back.”

“But what if he tells the police?”

“He won’t want to deal with the police either—they might decide he murdered her. We’ll just pay him extra.”

It was very late when we finally arrived at our small village. Shops were closed and the streets were empty. In the background the mountain loomed dark against the darker sky. We soon spotted the cart, with its donkey and driver asleep under a tree.

Purple and I hurried over to him, shook him awake, and told him we’d pay him a lot to go to Soochow to carry something back. When he saw the money Purple took out, he didn’t bother to ask what that “something” was. So we were soon on our way back to the city.

Purple and I whispered to each other about how to break the news to the coolie that it was a dead person he would have to carry back. But it turned out that we did not have to explain—when we arrived at the spot where we had left Leilei’s body, it was nowhere to be seen. We jumped out of the cart and looked around as best we could, then asked the driver to take us downstream while we continued to search. But there was no sign of her body.

We went back to where we had originally found her body for a last look. Of course we did not find her, but I spotted something familiar a few feet out from the shore that was stuck on rocks. I took some cautious steps out into the river, leaned over, and grabbed it. It was the cloth sack Leilei had used to carry her things around with her.

Inside was a roll of soggy fabric. To our astonishment, it was the embroidery we had all worked so hard on—
Along the River
—completely destroyed. As I had feared, she must have stolen it to sell. But now it would find no buyers in its ruined condition.

Purple and I set the waterlogged bag in the cart and headed home. We dozed on the way back, but now we were worried that there might be a second tragedy—Aunty Peony. My hope that we would find her home with Little Doll was disappointed. The house was dark and empty. But for the moment there was nothing we could do, so, exhausted, we both went to our rooms and fell asleep.

I woke up first and was cooking our usual congee when Purple appeared, looking haggard. We sat down and ate silently.

Finally, Purple said, “We can’t bury Leilei, but we have to do something for her. Let’s go up on the mountain and make a little shrine for her. That way her spirit will have a resting place.”

I agreed, and added, “We can bring some of her favorite foods to offer along with her favorite top and pants to bury.”

Moreover, we decided to bury what was left of
Along the River
with her clothes. After all, she too had worked hard on it. Also, it was best that Aunty, assuming she would return, would not see it in its ruined state. Once we’d made the offerings and buried Leilei’s things, we’d recite a sutra to comfort her soul.

After arriving at the mountain, we climbed for a few minutes to find a location that would not be visible from below. Purple picked a spot facing south. She said that even though this was traditionally the privilege of emperors, perhaps it would help Leilei to a better rebirth into a wealthy household where she could live the pampered life she had always desired. And this way the sun would shine on her.

Even though it was daylight, the moon was visible as a crescent. In my depressed mood it looked to me like thick, crying lips. A few pale wisps of clouds floated across it like incense smoke in a funeral home. I wondered if, like us, Heaven was mourning Leilei’s short, tragic life.

We dug a hole into which we placed her clothes and the ruined
Along the River,
covered them over with earth, and marked the spot with two smooth stones. We poured a cup of tea from our thermos and prepared two plates, one with her favorite snacks and the other with a few coins. This was so that Leilei would not get thirsty, starve, or run out of money in her long journey to the other realm. And, of course, a tip for the King of Hell so he would let her cross over.

We lit candles, burned incense, and picked a few wildflowers for her little shrine. After that, we knelt down, lifted the incense respectfully with both hands, and bowed to Leilei’s pretend burial site.

Purple began her prayer. “Old Heaven, please have mercy on our sister Leilei and grant her a smooth journey to the
yin
world. We also pray that you’ll let her have food in her stomach and money in her pocket, so she won’t be harassed by hungry ghosts. She had a hard life in this world, so please grant her a better next one. Also, please help us find out if she just fell into the river or was murdered. Leilei, our dear sister, may your soul be appeased and you’ll soon reincarnate in your next life as a rich man’s daughter, or wife.”

After Purple finished, we held up the tea and the two plates as a gesture to offer them to both Heaven and Leilei. Then Purple recited the Heart Sutra: “The Goddess of Observing Ease entered the realm of wisdom and saw that all the five
skandhas
are emptiness, transcending all sufferings. . . .”

Back at the house, Purple and I were so drained that we went straight inside our rooms and collapsed on our beds.

15

T
he sun was just coming up when I awakened the next morning. I found Purple sitting at the table, staring through the window at the distant mountain.

“Sister Purple”—I sat down by her—“why are you up so early?”

“Hai,”
she sighed. “You think I can sleep after all this? Anyway, I prepared some tea and noodles for you. Eat quickly and we’ll go out.”

“Go out where?”

She chided. “We’ll burn more incense and make another round of offerings to Leilei. That’s the least we can do for her. Don’t forget, she just died, so her spirit is still hanging around her body. After that, we’ll try again to find Aunty and Little Doll.”

“Where are we going to look for them?”

“We didn’t find them in Soochow. Let’s try the mountain.”

At the spot we had chosen, we bowed again at Leilei’s shrine and recited the Heart Sutra once more. Then we continued to ascend. Purple was still weak and I am naturally a fast climber, so I had to slow down several times to wait for my sister to catch her breath.

On our way, we kept shouting, “Aunty Peony and Little Doll, where are you!?”

But the only response was our shouts echoing back from the rocks.

As we stopped about halfway up, Purple asked, breathing heavily as she pressed a hand over her heaving chest, “Spring Swallow, how did you learn to climb so fast?”

“Back in my old village I mixed with the street kids. Dangerous places were our playgrounds—mountains, cliffs, ponds, cemeteries.. . . Sister Purple, you look tired. You want to go back?”

But I was actually trying to find an excuse. I feared that when we reached the top, she’d learn all my secrets—my “diary,” Shen Feng, and, worst of all, my copies of the embroidery patterns inside the cave.

She shook her head. “No, I will keep going to the top. We must find them.”

I couldn’t possibly argue with this. So we rested, drank our tea, and ate a light lunch of buns and preserved eggs, then resumed our climbing. Finally, we reached the top. Purple sat down on a rock, looked all around, then got up and gingerly approached the edge of the cliff to look down. After that I was alarmed to see her walk in the direction of my secret cave.

“Sister Purple, I don’t think there’s anything over there.”

Purple pointed, and said eagerly, “Spring Swallow, looks like there’s a cave hidden by bushes and vegetation, let’s go take a look.”

“But I don’t think there’ll be anything inside. . . .”

“You never know.”

“What if there’re spiders, or snakes, or a tiger?”

She cast me an annoyed look. “We can’t be that fearful if we want to find Aunty and Little Doll. Let’s go.”

I was trying to think what to tell her when she saw my notes and embroidery patterns on the cave wall.

However, when we stepped inside, I screamed, “Oh, Heaven!”

“What’s wrong, you see Aunty and Little Doll?”

I was shocked, not because of what I saw but because of what I didn’t. I stepped toward the wall to have a better look.

“Spring Swallow, why do you look so shocked, there’s nothing here.”

Yes, exactly. All my writings, embroidery notes, and patterns were gone, scraped clean from the walls!

Purple studied the cave for a while before she signaled that we should leave. As she was stepping outside, she stumbled on a rock and I grabbed her arm to keep her from falling.

Then she saw something. “Look, Spring Swallow, here’s a piece of cloth!”

She picked it up and we examined it closely. It was embroidered.

Then we called out simultaneously, “From Aunty’s robe!”

The cloth had a brown streak on it—it looked like dried blood.

Purple’s voice trembled. “Aunty was here—she must be hurt. I wonder if Little Doll . . .”

We looked at each other, afraid to say what we thought—that Aunty had come here with Little Doll and took her over the cliff with her.

Purple spoke, still breathing heavily. “Since they aren’t here, why don’t we go down the other side of the mountain and see if we can find them there?”

Or their bodies,
I silently added. But at the base of the cliff was an expanse of water, so if they’d jumped I didn’t think we’d find them—or their bodies.

We hurried down but saw no sign of either Aunty or Little Doll.

Purple smiled faintly. “Spring Swallow, if we don’t see them, that means there’s still hope.” Then she looked at me curiously. “You realize that there’s no one else on this mountain?”

I knew why but was not going to tell her.

She blurted out, “It’s haunted, that’s why! I didn’t say anything before because I didn’t want to scare you. People have been coming here to kill themselves since the first girl and her lover jumped to their death.”

“Then why did Aunty build her house nearby?”

“Because no one would think to come here to look for her, that’s why. Except for having to look for Aunty and Little Doll, I’d never have come up here to inhale all the bad
qi.
Promise me you’ll never come here by yourself, all right?”

I nodded, having no intention to keep the promise.

Purple complained of feeling chilly, so we quickly walked down the mountain and back home.

 

That evening I lay awake, unable to blink an eye. Endless questions whirred in my mind: Aunty and Little Doll’s whereabouts and their possible suicide; Leilei’s stealing of the masterpiece and her sudden death; the destroyed embroidery notes and patterns that I had spent months memorizing....

I was distraught that my drawings of Aunty’s patterns were gone. So I’d thought of stealing them from her secret chamber when Purple was asleep. But I quickly abandoned the idea. Probably she had taken her treasures with her. And even if I was able to find them, I did not want to carry them to a hiding place and attract more bad
qi.
Or even get caught by the police.

The next morning, Purple told me she was not feeling well and needed to stay in bed. I asked her if she wanted me to go out and buy her some medicine.

“No, I just need more rest. Anyway, I still have the medicine from the hospital. Spring Swallow, don’t worry about me. Why don’t you go out and get some fresh air? I’m sure I will feel better tomorrow; then we can continue to look for Aunty and Little Doll.”

“Where else can we look for them?”

“We didn’t find her where the piece of her robe was, so I am still hoping that she and Little Doll are alive. But I don’t know where. Maybe after I have some rest I’ll think of something. Or you will.”

After I left Purple in her room to sleep, I gathered up my ink and brush and headed back to the mountain. I wanted to examine the cave more carefully to see if there were any traces of my writings and patterns left. Without Purple to slow me down, I quickly reached the top. I was eager to see if there was a new message from Shen Feng on the nearby rocks—I had avoided the rock yesterday because I did not want Purple to notice the messages.

I ran down the mountain and dashed home.

“Purple,” I shouted, shaking her shoulder, “wake up, I think I know where Aunty and Little Doll are!”

She rubbed her eyes, then, realizing what I’d just said, jumped up.

“Did you see them?”

“No, but they were taken to the hospital in Soochow. Hurry, let’s go!”

Two hours later, after another bumpy cart ride, we arrived at the same dingy hospital, waiting in line at the same reception counter. We described Aunty and Little Doll, and were directed to a room on the second floor. We dashed up the stairs and entered a large ward crammed with iron beds. Some patients were lying still, others wandering around or talking with visitors. On the floor next to the beds were used food bowls, chicken bones, piles of clothes, and chamber pots. The noise and smell were overwhelming. We looked around and finally spotted Aunty Peony and Little Doll.

When Purple and I hurried to their bedsides, we saw that both were sleeping and Aunty’s head and hands bandaged. However, Little Doll, except for a few small scrapes on her arms and legs, looked quite all right.

I whispered heatedly to Purple, “You think Aunty is seriously injured?”

I called out “Aunty Peony,” as Purple gently touched her shoulder. Our teacher opened her eyes, saw us, and tried to sit up. I reached around her to help her sit upright, then put a blanket behind her back and head.

“Aunty Peony, how are you and Little Doll?” Purple and I asked.

“How did you find out we’re here?” she asked, her voice as weak as cheap tea.

Reluctantly, I told Aunty about Shen Feng and my secret cave.

She didn’t say anything but glared at me.

Purple gave me a dirty look, and said into my ear, “You little fox, how come you never told me about this?”

My teacher continued to glare at me, so I asked again, “Aunty, are you and Little Doll all right?”

“Can’t you see we’re still alive?”

Silence passed before Purple asked, “What happened?”

Without looking at us, she said, “What do you care?”

I said, “We came all the way here to find you.”

“Then why didn’t you come sooner?”

“Aunty, we didn’t know you were here. We’ve been searching for you for days.”

In a dull tone she said, “I tried to kill myself. . . .”

We both exclaimed, “But why? !”

“Why? Because Leilei’s gone,
Along the River
is gone, my reputation ruined, and there will be no more business from Heavenly Phoenix. So pretty soon we’ll be homeless and starve to death!”

Now she cast me a sharp, angry look, but didn’t say anything. I was pretty sure this was about my copies of her patterns on the cave walls.

Just then a middle-aged woman from a nearby bed yelled at us. “Shhh . . . lower your voices, you gossipy women! This is a hospital, not a teahouse!”

Aunty looked furious. It took a few seconds before she shot back, her voice suddenly turned high. “I don’t care if it’s a hospital or a teahouse. I came from the palace, so I don’t listen to people like you. You miserable, pathetic lowlife!”

The woman laughed like she’d just been transferred to a mental hospital. “Hahahaha! From the palace! Maybe you peeked at it from outside as a child! Or looked at a picture of it!”

Aunty looked too angry to respond.

The woman shook her head, sighing and talking to herself. “
Hai,
crazy woman, maybe she should be in a loony bin instead!”

It seemed just when Aunty was about to fight back, she suddenly shut her mouth. She must have realized she’d carelessly leaked something to us—her imperial background. Purple and I exchanged understanding glances.

Purple immediately changed the subject. “Aunty Peony, how are you feeling now? And what happened to your head and hands?”

Aunty didn’t respond to her but stared at me with eyes like daggers. “What happened, Spring Swallow, is that you who stole my patterns and wrote them in the cave? !”

“Aunty, that’s not stealing. . . .”

“If it’s not stealing, what is it?”

“I didn’t steal, just memorized them—”

“That’s still stealing! What if they were seen by other embroiderers?”

I didn’t think anyone would ever find them, or even know what they were, if they did. But I was not going to pour oil onto her fiery anger.

She sneered. “But I have to praise both your excellent memory and your accurate rendering of
my
patterns.”

Now it was Purple who looked at me with upset and disbelief. “Spring Swallow, you memorized those patterns and wrote them on the mountain walls?”

I nodded.

Aunty said, “That’s why I had to scrape them off, and that’s how the falling rocks hit me in the head and hands.”

I gingerly asked my teacher, “Aunty Peony, I hope that your hands . . .”

She raised her hands and examined them, then spoke sarcastically. “Yes, my hands are ruined! You happy now?”

“Of course not, Aunty, but I’m sure they’ll recover.”

“How do you know, are you a doctor now or a clairvoyant?”

Neither Purple nor I dared to say anything.

Finally, Purple asked, “What happened?”

Aunty said without looking at us, her eyes blank and her expression sad, “When I went up the mountain with Little Doll I planned to end both our lives. Little Doll had no idea what was on my mind, but I knew she could not survive without me. Thinking that I took her out to have fun, she climbed happily in front of me, even humming a tune.

“When we reached the top, she stopped, pointing and shouting, ‘Look, Aunty Peony, a cave!’ My eyes followed the direction of her finger but saw only rocks and bushes. Before I could stop her, she’d already dashed inside. I heard her exclaiming, ‘Aunty, come look at all the drawings!’ So I hurried inside. Of course I was puzzled to see embroidery patterns inside a mountain cave. Then when I realized they were
my
patterns, I was furious!

“So I picked up a big rock and worked like crazy scraping off everything. Suddenly an avalanche of rocks fell on me. Then a big boulder tumbled down onto my right hand.... Then I woke up in the hospital here, with Little Doll.”

Purple said, “Aunty Peony, we’re so sorry for what you’ve gone through. Do you know how you got here?”