Secret Pleasures (3 page)

Diana reached for a crystal cordial glass resting on a cluttered stand. “I am comfortable here surrounded by my things.”

The small quarters were crammed with a large painting of Diana in her prime
.
The artist had captured her draped over a fainting couch, a thin dressing gown accentuating her lush curves rather than disguising them
.
Ivy glanced from the myth of Diana to the woman she had become and hoped her smile did not wobble.

“Does the earl know of your condition?”

“We have not spoken since his wife became ill two years past
.
He paid me well for our time together
.
I require nothing else from him
.
I assume he’s well.”

Ivy shifted, too ashamed to pursue her true motives for finally coming to visit a ghost from her past
.
She just wished it were figuratively instead of literally
.
Poor Diana
.
My God, but she was Ivy’s age when Diana had first come to her rescue after rumor spread that she
had
become Darien’s father’s mistress
.
However, since then, Ivy had come to think of Diana’s instruction on how to survive social ruin as the road to her demise
.
Still, Diana’s intentions had been pure, or at least as pure as Diana could ever be
.

“As you know, I don’t stay in touch with the Blackmores.
”
Ivy justified
the
omission
of her plan to attend the engagement ball
with Darien
as an act
of kindness
.
It was too cruel for Diana to know that her long-time lover had chosen to take a young bride the moment his late wife had been respectfully mourned
.
Darien should have come to Diana instead of Ivy to truly create a proper scandal at his father’s betrothal celebration.

“But you said you saw Darien in the country,” Diana insisted
.
Eagerness broke through her practiced detachment, a protective tactic she had drilled into Ivy’s head years ago.

“From a distance
.
Darien created the scene with the host the instant he spotted me
.
He stormed out shortly after.
”
Ivy told her half-truth with a steady gaze
.
Truly, she did not know what to make of her
s
and Darien’s last meeting
. 

“
But he’s well
?
”
Diana’s voice held a
wistfulness
Ivy attributed to her friend’s fascination with true love.
She had never stopped trying to push Ivy to reconcile with Darien no matter how impossible that was.

“He drinks too much and doesn’t take care of himself.”
Ivy refused to let how much that upset her show in her tone.

“A man after my own heart.
”
Diana retrieved her sherry and toasted Ivy
.
“Are you sure I can’t interest you in a nip?”

“No, thank you
,
as I said I have another engagement this afternoon.
”
Ivy would love nothing more than to escape the grim reality of an aging mistress, but she could not abandon Diana to such dire straits
.
“Diana, I must insist that you let me call a physician
.
You have lost so much weight.”

“There is a reason for that
.
I have a secret
.
A wonderful one.
”
A bit of the old sparkle that had made Diana the most sought after courtesan on the continent smoldered in her upturned blue eyes
.
She pulled back a silk drape which Ivy thought had disguised a basin to reveal a wicker basinet
.
Ivy leaned forward and gasped at what she saw.

“I have a daughter
.
Isn’t she sweet?”

The wee
babe
lay motionless until Diana reached for it and lifted it out of a satin and lace bundle of blankets
.
The child squeaked in protest but did not appear to have the strength to open its tightly closed eyes
.
Nor did Diana appear to have the stamina to
safely
hold the child
.
Her thin arms wobbled, mere sticks under her embroidered dressing gown
.
Ivy leaned forward to grab the child lest Diana drop the infant
.
When she
then
tried to lay the limp bundle in Diana’s arms, she refused
.

“No, you hold her
.
Please
.
She does not get the attention she needs, I fear.”

Ivy pressed the child to her chest to stop its sudden trembling
.
Its lips had turned purple in the
cold,
damp air of Diana’s thin-walled room.

“Diana, I don’t know what to say
.
Is Gregory Blackmore the father?
”
She watched as
Diana patted away the perspiration that had formed on her upper lip from the small effort
.
How in the world was she caring for this child?

“You know I have not laid eyes on the man in some time
.
My angel’s father was something of a novelty
.
He was not even a paying paramour
.
Merely a lonely soul who had been tossed aside such as I.
”
Diana brushed away an oily blond clump of hair that had fallen into her vulnerable gaze
.
She lifted her slight chin
.
“That’s not to be repeated
.
If anyone asks, I am abroad dancing with the Prussian King.
”
She laughed and reached for her sherry
.
“Not that anyone would
.
Madame Diana de Rachelle is already a relic of a
bygone
era
.
A faded rose pressed in a lyrical book
,
then abruptly forgotten.”

“But surely the father of your child would be eager to help?”

“No, he does not even know
.
It would cause more pain than his family could bear.”

Ivy pressed the child close to her and rescued a blanket from the bassinet to provide more warmth.

“To hell with his family
,” Ivy said
.
“
She is his family
.
She deserves better than
—
”
She
stopped herself from using the word squalor
.
“You both deserve better accommodations
.
A place in the country perhaps.”

“I abhor the country
.
You know that.”

“But surely fresh air would not only be beneficial for the child but yourself. London is notoriously harsh on lung ailments
.
Especially with the summer heat nearly upon us.”

The sewers outside Diana’s humble building would be foul and steaming with disease in less than a month
.
The place emitted a moldy scent that would surely turn sour with the slightest rise in temperature.

“Funny you should mention it, because I hoped you might take my angel to Cornwall for the summer months.”

“Perhaps I could do that as long as you accompany us.
”
Ivy would be eager to leave London after the ball. Living the life of a shunned recluse in Cornwall was a far better fate th
a
n Diana’s
.
London was too cruel for one who had gone out of fashion.

“Her given name is Melody, by the way.
”
Diana’s voice became lyrical as she spoke of her child
.
“And she is such a joy
.
I never thought I could love any
one as much
as her
.
”

“And her last name?
”
Ivy was going to pen a long letter to
the man in question
and unveiled threats would be made.

“How does Templeton sound?”

Ivy stiffened
.
“Since I do not have a brother and my father is no longer living, I assume you are asking for me to claim her.”

“Would you
?
Even on the wrong side of the sheets, she would make a lovely duke’s daughter.”

“Marcus would know the difference and besides, we officially ended our association nearly a year ago.”

“Perfect timing.
”
Diana brightened
.
“Oh don’t worry so
.
It’s causing a crease in your brow.”

“Diana, I have taken your advice on most things and you have saved me from more heartache than I could bear
,
but
I must say that
now would be an appropriate opportunity to worry.”

“You might indeed be right, but I can’t wish away my little love
.
She is more than I deserve
.
Please, you must see that she has a good home.”

The baby did not stir on Ivy’s shoulder
.
A bottomless futility opened in Ivy’s heart.

“You will both come with me to St. Keynes for the summer
.
The local well is said to grant wishes,” she added in a ploy to appeal to Diana’s fanciful nature
.
“I have an obligation to attend to this weekend and then we shall promptly leave London
.
We can decide upon Melody’s future over a cup of tea in my garden.”

Diana gazed directly into Ivy’s eyes and all of her mentor’s practiced good humor fell away
.
“Do you honestly think I would survive the trip?”

Better than her child, but it pained Ivy to even think it, much less say so aloud
.
“Then you shall come to my home in London and we will fatten you up
.
We’ll summon my personal physician, Dr. Ferguson
.
You shall be well enough to travel before the roses have lost their blooms.”

“I have already seen a dozen physicians
.
I refuse to be bled or burned or anything else ever again.”

“Very well, but at least my staff can attend to you and Melody
.
You need rest.”

“I do not intend to be known in London and especially not in relation to my little girl
.
My dying wish is to spare my daughter the branding of bastard offspring to an infamous whore and opium addict.”

“You are not a whore.”

Diana laughed
.
“You are too honest for your own good, my love
.
I came from nothing and I shall return to nothing
.
You are not like me, Ivy
.
Don’t ever forget that.”

“Do not speak so.
”
Ivy cradled the infant’s skull and hugged her tighter.

“Forgive me.
”
Diana laid her head against the chair. “I am weary to the bone
.
Be a dear and take my little angel for a while
.
As much as I love her, her care has been more than I can manage
.
I fear her health suffers because of my poor mothering.”

“I am quite sure she will be fine with a little fresh air
.
I shall be glad to take her but you must come with us
.
How shall I feed her?”

Ivy jostled the small bundle until she felt a puff of soft air against her neck
.
The child certainly was not taking solid food
yet
.

“Yes, I was hoping you might be able to find a wet nurse
.
I had vowed to do it myself but alas my milk never came in.
”
Diana coughed
.
“I have bartered some of my gowns for the services of a neighbor and I fear she is cheating me
.
Melody comes home red in the face, her cheeks stained with tears and dust
.
I think the awful woman swaddles her and hangs her on a hook.”

Ivy closed her eyes and pressed the small bundle to her chest.