Secrets and Lies (3 page)

“She won’t do it.” Josh suddenly appears. He’s standing next to Beth and smiles at me in that smug way that only truly spoiled men can pull off. “She doesn’t have it in her.”

“You’re an asshole.” My gaze flicks up and meets his, while Beth laughs.

“I know. I’m okay with it. But, you’re a nice girl, and you’ll stay that way. There’s no way you can work up enough nerve to walk over there and ask that guy to sleep with you.”

“Yeah, well watch me.” Who said that? My pride is whooping and slapping me on my back.

Suddenly, I’m out of my seat and making a beeline toward Mystery Man. He’s concentrating on his drawing and doesn’t look up. I’m so nervous, I want to die. What if he shoots me down? What if he just laughs? I don’t think I could bear it. Stop thinking! Just say it. Just say it. Don’t wait for him to look up. Don’t wait for him to have a chance to say anything. Just spit it out.

As soon as I’m by his table, I say, “Listen, I’m not looking for a relationship and you look a little bit lonely over here. Maybe we could go someplace and fix that?” My voice is confident and flows like warm honey. I’m so proud, I actually manage a sexy smile and slip into the booth opposite him.

When he looks up, I literally choke. “It’s you!” Before I can recover, I sputter some ungodly sound and gape at him.

“So, is that what you were doing in the men’s room this morning? The school really frowns on soliciting.” The corners of his lips twitch, like he’s trying not to laugh at my shock. Those sapphire eyes seem amused. He taps his pencil on the table and looks me over. “Although, when they put up the signs, I doubt they had that kind in mind.”

My jaw hits the table, and I’m still frozen in place. Holy fuck, he’s hot and that teasing tone doesn’t help. My mind is screaming at me to run, but I can’t move. Something about the moment has the mesmerizing quality of headlights, and I’m sitting like a deer waiting to be struck between the eyes.

Pull it together, Kerry! I shake off my shock and stand to leave, but he reaches out and grabs my wrist. I glance down at him, waiting to see what he’s going to say.

“I didn’t say no. I’m just making sure that I don’t have a hooker stalking me.”

Pressing my hand to my chest, I say sweetly, “How flattering, but no thanks. I’ve changed my mind.” Tearing my wrist from his grip, I turn to sprint away, but he jumps up from his booth and follows me.

“Wait a second. Don’t be like that. I was just kidding. Really.” I stop and turn back to face him. Mistake. Those eyes are so blue and so sincere that I can’t blow him off. A nervous tick appears in the corner of his mouth, making it twitch. “Can I show you something?”

“I’ve already seen it, thanks.”

He laughs once, loudly, and gently takes my hand, pulling me back to his table. “You’ve got a sharp tongue when it’s not tangled. Seriously, come here. I want to show you what I was sketching.” He stops in front of the table and picks up the pad, flipping backwards through the pages.

I glance side to side and see Beth waving at me from across the room. It’s such a dorky thing to do, but it makes me laugh. I swat at her and turn back to see what this guy is doing. “My friend thought the whole artsy thing was a ploy to pick up girls. We actually made a bet.”

He looks intrigued. “Really? What were the terms?”

“If she wins, and you’re a loser with an empty sketch pad, she gets cake.”

“You bet that I wasn’t a fake?” I smile, and slide my eyes to the side, nodding. “Interesting. So what do you get if you win?”

My face feels hot, but I say it anyway. “You.” Tonight, I’m not me. I’m confident, sexual, and everything I’m totally lacking in real life.

Smiling shyly, he looks down and hands me the pad before sitting in the booth. “I’m afraid your friend lost her cake.”

The smile slips off my lips when I see what he’s drawn. It’s me. My long smooth wavy hair is obscuring my face, but it’s certainly me, my little nose, and this slutty dress. But the way he drew me sitting in the booth opposite Beth—I don’t know—I look ethereal and unapproachable. He drew me as if I were just out of his reach.

I stare at it for a second before looking over at him. “I bet you drew every woman in here.”

“I don’t recall that being part of the bet, but go ahead and turn the page.” He offers a crooked smile.

I flip through the pad and see saltshakers, lamps, the back of a waiter carrying too much food, and other things that are utterly ordinary. He captured the weight of the tray and the way it tips to the side slightly, like it might fall. Even the objects that he drew on the table seem evocative. When I look at him, he offers a weak smile and reaches for the pad. “I don’t usually share this. It’s like a journal.”

I know what he means. I don’t show my sketches to anyone. They reflect the state of my mind, and my heart. He’s braver than I am, showing those things to a total stranger. For a moment, I don’t know myself. I’m not me. Reaching out, I extend my hand and say it again, “I’m not looking for a relationship.”

He takes it and stands. Looking into my eyes, he breathes, “Neither am I.”

A smile spreads across my face as my heart pounds harder. “Then let’s get out of here.”

Nodding, he leads me toward the door. On the way out, I pass Beth’s table and grin. “You lost.”

She gives me a huge grin. “Yeah, but you hit the jackpot.”

I did, didn’t I? He’s hot, funny, shy, and artistic. He’s my dream guy. For only one night, he can’t be anything less.

CHAPTER 4

We drive to a hotel down the street and before I know it, we’re tangled together in a dark little room, his lips on mine. My heart keeps telling me I’m cheating on Matt even though my brain reminds me that we’re over. Since I’m not a cheater, I understand why Beth was telling me to do this. If I wanted something with this guy, he’d have to live up to Matt in every single way.

Gasping for air, he breaks the kiss and sits up a little bit. We’re lying on the bed, side by side. Pushing up on an elbow, he looks down at me. “I never got a chance to ask your name. I’m—”

I press my fingers to his lips¸ “No names. Say anything you like. We can do anything we want without worrying about tomorrow. There is no tomorrow for us.” As I speak, I slip the shoulders of my dress off and the bodice crumples around my waist, revealing my bra. The black lace fabric is sheer, and I know he can see right through it. It took a long time for me to be comfortable being naked in front of Matt, but I don’t have time to feel timid with this guy. My mystery man’s eyes darken as I slip out of the dress and lay back on the bed. The matching panty covers my front but showcases the curves of my ass.

His eyes drink me in, but he hesitates. Something flashes across his face, but I can’t tell what it is. Regret? I wonder what ghosts are plaguing him right now, and I wonder if they’re as strong as the memories of Matt that keep wandering through my mind. I have to do this. I can’t let Mystery Man back out, and it feels like that’s what he’s about to do, so I take things a step further. I sit up and unhook my bra. Reaching behind me, I pull it off and hold it between two fingers before dropping it to the floor, my eyes locked on his face as I do it. The lights are on, and this is so weird for me, but I do it anyway. I can’t even fathom the person I would be if I didn’t hate my body, if I didn’t scold myself for every excess ounce of fat. I can’t imagine a world without those checks to guide my decisions. I’d be someone else, and in the moment I am.

Mystery Man is sitting up, so I crawl over to him and swing my leg over his lap, straddling him. He sucks in air as I settle in place. My pulse is pounding in my ears and I try not to consider what he must think of me, what he must think of what I’m doing. I think he’s beautiful. From the look in his eye, I know he wants me. His hands slip up my sides, feeling my ample curves, and then back down again. He cups my butt and pulls me to him, his lips crushing down on mine. The kiss grows hotter as our tongues tangle in my mouth. I spread my hands on his chest, tugging at his shirt, trying to get it off. We break apart long enough to pull the fabric over his head and then he presses his bare chest against me. I feel his warm skin and toned muscles slipping against my breasts.

Matt didn’t have this guy’s muscles. Each one is so perfectly defined that I want to lick him from head to toe. I trace my fingers over his arms, feeling the strength in them, while the pulsing between my thighs increases. He’s hard beneath me, so when I start to rock my hips he moans into my mouth through our kiss. Breaking apart, I rise up and press my breasts to his face. Mystery Man wants me, but he’s holding back. I can tell because when I do it, he stiffens and the hesitation is there again.

“Kiss me, baby.” I moan the words and drag my nipples across his stubbled jaw. Before I get far, he reacts. His lips part and he takes me in his mouth, sucking my breast and flicking my nipple with his tongue. Oh, God, it feels good! Matt didn’t do it like this. He’d either slobber on me or gnaw my nipple off.

But Mystery Man doesn’t do that. He’s slow and teasing, alternating between licking and sucking, teasing my nipple between his lips. His teeth graze my breast, making me speak words I normally couldn’t say. I feel his smile as he pulls away and switches to the other side. Firm hands travel over my body, holding me against his mouth. As if I’d pull away? That’ll never happen. I’m losing myself in him. Thoughts of Matt are scattering and I can’t resist the longing between my thighs much longer.

As he kisses me, I reach down, undo the button on his jeans and lower the zipper. I want to free his hard length from the fabric. This man makes me feel like a goddess. His kisses are worthy of praise and his touch is so sensual. Lust fills my mind as I think about riding him and feeling him inside of me. He nips my nipple before pulling away. I move aside as he tugs at his jeans like he can’t get them off fast enough.

He tosses the jeans to the floor and stands beside the bed, wearing just his boxers. He grins a wicked smile and motions toward me with his hand. “Ladies first.” He tugs at his own waistband and I understand what he means. “I want to see you naked, spread out on the bed, begging me to fuck you.”

The pit of my stomach drops when he talks like that and I’m surprised that I like it. Nervous anticipation floods through my body, but I do as he says. Shimmying out of my panties, I toss them aside and lie back on the bed and let him look.

Those blue eyes are so dark and sexy. His lips part the slightest amount as his eyes drift below my waist, taking in the smooth skin between my legs. He grins, like I’m some sort of siren because I had a Brazilian. “You are so sexy. I can’t wait to have you.”

“Then take me.” I never say things like that, but I can’t help it. He makes me feel good and I can’t wait to come in his arms. It will cut Matt off, ending that part of my life.

Hot Guy loses his boxers and comes back to the bed. His body is beyond words and, when I see how much he wants me, the size of him, I tremble and grip the sheets. He crawls toward me, and kisses me, starting at my toes. He works his way up my legs, kissing the V once, before continuing up toward my mouth. He straddles me, pinning my thighs together, rubbing against me as he showers me with little kisses that drive me wild. I can’t take it. I need him.

Clawing his back, I arch into him, and he dips his head to my breast, sucking and teasing me, taking me higher and higher. I’m losing it. I can’t hold onto my mind and my thoughts drift away. I don’t realize I’m talking until I hear my voice begging him to take me. “Please, baby, please.” I tell him how much I want him inside me and so many other things I’ve never said to anyone.

His kisses drift to my neck, which makes my flow of words increase. By the time he finally lets me splay my legs, I’m ready for him. I think he’s going to push into me, but he drops to my chest, breathing hard and starts to kiss my stomach. Each kiss drops lower and lower, heading for the spot between my legs. I can barely hold myself together as I anticipate his mouth down there.

But then, everything shatters. The phone rings and he freezes. The noise is jarring, and another guy might have thrown the thing on the floor, but he doesn’t.

Mystery Man pulls away from me and sits up. He reaches for the receiver and answers the phone. “Yes?” His voice is casual, like he wasn’t doing anything important.

I’m horrified. What the hell? He doesn’t look back at me or apologize. I roll to my side and pull the sheet up around me. Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe he’s not blowing me off. Hot Guy dips his head and releases a long slow breath as he runs his fingers through his hair. “I see. Thank you for calling.” He hangs up and sits there, still for a second. I watch his back expand as he breathes, but he doesn’t look at me.

Without explanation, he stands, and pulls on his clothes. “I need to go. Please, call a cab.” He pulls out his wallet and drops a fifty on the dresser, then turns on his heel. He’s through the door before I have a chance to answer.

CHAPTER 5

“So, how was he?” Beth has a stack of pancakes covered in syrup. She’s intently decorating them with Fruit Loops, one at a time, as if it were a Christmas tree.

I didn’t tell her last night. It was too embarrassing. I stumbled into my bed and fell asleep. It’s seven in the morning and I feel like I’ve been hit by a truck, physically and emotionally, because getting rejected by the rebound guy was the most god-awful thing that could have happened.

“Great,” I answer, not offering more details. He was great—right up until he ran back to his girlfriend or whoever called and busted us up. Maybe he’s a loser and I should be glad we didn’t do it, but the thought doesn’t help. Not knowing why he ran off makes me think I did something wrong. It doesn’t make sense, not with the phone call. Who answers the phone during sex anyway? I want to slam my head into the table, but I don’t. I smile at Beth and shove a spoonful of eggs into my mouth.

“Great sounds like an understatement. That guy was your dream man.” She starts shoving her sugary breakfast into her mouth. We’re sitting in the middle of the cafeteria with the rest of the people who eat breakfast. There’s hardly anyone here.