Secrets of a Shy Socialite (15 page)

She stared at him with watery blue eyes.

“I can’t imagine what it must be like to be in your situation, and if I were, I don’t know if I’d have the balls to do what you’re planning to do.” He took her small hands into his, brought them to his lips and kissed her knuckles. “There’s no one I would rather have as a role model for our daughters than you. They need you.
We
need you. And selfish man that I am, I want you to take advantage of whatever treatment will enable you to remain here on earth with us for as long as possible.”

Tears spilled out of the corners of both of her eyes.

“You were right,” he said, feeling somewhat choked up himself. “You are so much more than a pair of breasts. You’re the mother of my children, a woman I care about, a woman who matters to me.”

She reached for a tissue and dabbed at her nose. “Thank you. But—”

“No buts.” Justin stood, pulled the ring box from his pocket and went down on one knee. “I don’t know what the future will bring.” He flipped open the lid and tilted the sparkly diamond in her direction. “I
do
know that I want you, me, Abbie and Annie to be a family, a real, traditional family that lives together and takes care of one another. Not to be a complete cornball, but in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad.” He looked up at her and tilted his head. “You want me to keep going?”

She gave him a small, almost shy smile and shook her head.

“So what do you say, Jena? Will you marry me?”

The smile faded.

“Before you answer there’s something I think you should know,” he started out, hoping to make a point. “It’s not easy keeping this physique in tip top shape. And with me being a family man and all I doubt I’ll have much time to get to the gym.” He stuck out his belly and patted it. “Based on tonight’s sampling of your culinary skills, I’m thinking there’s a real good chance if you marry me you may be taking on a future three-hundred-pounder. You willing to marry me knowing that in the months and years to come my body may look totally different than it looks right now?”

More tears leaked out of her eyes. But she gifted him with a small nod.

“Are you willing to marry me
, knowing
that my body
will
soon look and feel different than it does right now?” she asked in a soft voice.

He stared into her eyes. “Yes.” He removed the ring from the box and held it out to her. “Jena Piermont, will you do me the honor of becoming my wife.”

While she thought about it Justin’s heart proved it is actually possible for a heart to beat against a ribcage. Or at least feel that way.

“I’ll accept your ring,” she said slowly, looking down at him. “I’ll agree to get engaged on one condition.”

“Anything.”

“If, after my surgery, you find me...unattractive...”

“I won’t,” he said, meaning it, wanting it, praying he could manage it.

She looked away. “And you don’t want to...”

“Jena,” he said. “Look at me.” She turned her head slowly. “Let’s get through the surgery first. The rest we’ll deal with as it comes up.”

“But I want you to promise to be honest with me. To talk to me about what you’re thinking and feeling. And if you change your mind about marrying me it’s okay.”

“I won’t change my mind,” he tried to reassure her.

But she went on like he hadn’t even spoken. “I couldn’t bear you being unhappy, or turning your back on me in bed, or looking at me with revulsion and regret.”

Her distress affected him, made him desperate to comfort her. “I promise to be honest with you. But I won’t—”

She placed to fingers on his lips to quiet him. “Thank you. That’s all I needed to hear.” Then she held out her hand and he slid the engagement ring onto her finger.

She lifted her hand up to the light. “This is the most beautiful ring I’ve ever seen.” He doubted that. “I love it.” Whew. “It fits perfectly. How did you...?”

“I held the hand of every woman in the store until I found one that fit like yours.”

Justin’s cell phone went off. He grabbed it to silence the ringtone and looked at the screen. “It’s your sister.” He held the phone out to Jena.

“She knows?”

“I had to come clean to Ian about my intentions or he threatened not to let me in. But she doesn’t know your answer. And since she’ll probably come barging in here any minute if you don’t tell her...”

Jena took the phone. “Hi, Jaci. Yes, Justin proposed.” She smiled. “Yes, I said yes.” Jaci screamed loud enough to startle one of the
babies. “Shshsh,” Jena said. Then she looked up at him, uncertain and said into the phone, “I don’t know. Definitely by our birthday.”

Justin leaned forward. “But we’re moving in together tomorrow.” Because his future wife needed him to take care of her and their daughters. He said a quick prayer that he’d be able to do a decent job of it.

“Perfect,” Jena said to Jaci. Then, “Now I’ve got to go. Justin’s pawing at my pajamas.”

He wasn’t but took that as his cue to start.

One of the babies made some sucking noises. Shoot. “How long do we have until they wake up?” he asked, lifting Jena’s silky pink negligée over her head. “Love this, by the way.”

Jena removed his shirt. “Probably around fifteen minutes.” She grabbed his hand and yanked him onto the bed. “Longer if you keep real quiet and you let me turn off the light,” she teased.

“Longer is good.” He slid her pink lacy panties down to her ankles while she reached for the lamp. “For the record, I am a huge fan of sexy lingerie.”

She pulled him down on top of her and whispered, “So am I.”

CHAPTER EIGHT

J
ENA
should have
added “Frontal lobotomy” to her enormous list of Things To Do The Day Before Surgery, because adding “Move in with Justin”, “Cancel hotel reservation and nurse”, and “Change will to make Justin the sole legal guardian of the girls” showed a severe decision-making impairment in need of immediate remediation.

But at least she’d kept so busy she hadn’t had time to worry and obsess. Which meant she’d probably be up most of the night.

“One slippery baby fresh from the bath.” Jena lifted Abbie from her baby tub and handed her into the pink towel draped over Justin’s arms. “You have her?”

“I have her.” Justin cuddled Abbie close with one hand and wrapped the towel and hood around her with the other. Careful and gentle. The ideal parent.

Jena spread the yellow towel on the bathmat then lifted Annie out of her tub, wrapped her in the yellow towel, and lifted the squirmy baby into her arms.

“You’re sure you’re ready to go solo?” she asked on the way to the second bedroom.

“Gotta try sometime.”

Except for leaving for a few hours to complete the paperwork necessary to take an emergency two-week leave of absence from work, Justin had been by her side all day. Watching. Learning. Helping. She couldn’t have asked for more in a fiancé.

“Be a good girl for daddy,” Jena said shaking Abbie’s little foot through the towel.

Justin smiled. Seemed he liked being called daddy. Which made Jena smile, too.

“Time to get you ready for bed,” he said, placing Abbie on the changing table. “And you and your sister better sleep for a good couple of hours because daddy has special plans for mommy tonight.”

Since they only had one changing table, Jena set Annie on the bed. “Oh does he?” she asked, an excited tingle taking up residence deep in her core. There was nothing she’d rather do than spend the night before her surgery in Justin’s arms. Every night in his arms.

“What the—?” Justin said. “That is not being good for daddy.”

Jena looked at the changing table, watched Justin rush to cover Abbie’s privates with her towel and laughed. “You’ve got to be quick.”

“She got everything wet,” he complained.

“I’ll clean it up when we’re done,” she said. “Come. Join me on the bed.”

He looked over his shoulder. “Why, Jena. I’d love to join you on the bed.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“To finish changing Abbie,” she specified.

“Spoilsport.”

He grabbed the baby wipes, a diaper, rash cream, and a new set of pink PJs and moved to the bed. “No more funny business,” he ordered, setting Abbie on the bed next to Annie.

And in typical fashion, while Annie lay quietly, Abbie started to squirm. He handed her a rattle. Then he got started, concentrating so intensely, Jena didn’t think he even realized he was talking himself through it as he went. “Diaper, tabs in the back. Check. Shoot. Clean with a baby wipe first.” He did a very thorough job. “
Then
diaper, tabs in the back. Check. Diaper rash cream. Yuk.” He wiped his fingers on the towel. “Cover her up. Check. Secure sticky tabs. Check. Yes!” He lifted his hands over his head in victory. “Job well done.”

Jena laughed again. Changing the girls had never been this entertaining.

Justin struggled to insert Abbie’s kicking feet into the leg openings of her sleeper. “Minor setback.” Out of the corner of her eye she caught him watching her. “You make it look so easy. Some trick of the hands for sure.”

Abbie started to cry.

“Shshshsh. We don’t want mommy to think daddy’s incompetent.”

Jena smiled. And fell in love with him, trying so hard to do a good job of taking care of his daughter.

“You’re far from incompetent,” she reassured him. “I’ve been doing this a lot longer than you have. And I’ve learned it’s easier to hold the leg like this.” She took a firm but gentle hold of Annie’s leg over her knee. “Then put the sleeper on over the leg rather than trying to put the leg into the sleeper. Does that make sense?”

Justin followed her lead and had Abbie dressed in under a minute. “Works for flailing arms, too.”

That it did.

With both babies dressed they moved to the kitchen where Jena supervised Justin making and heating up bottles like she’d taught him earlier, while she held the girls.

Again he concentrated on doing everything exactly as she’d shown him and spoke out loud as he did it. “Take the plastic insert like this—don’t touch the inside. And only use bottled water at room temperature.” He lifted the jug and poured a measured amount into each bottle. “I measure the powdered formula carefully according to the instructions on the can.” Which he double checked. “And I don’t change brands without checking with the doctor first.” He looked and Jena and she nodded. “I replace the ring and cap and shake.” He did.

“Then I unscrew the ring and remove the nipple before placing the bottle in the microwave.” He set the microwave as she’d taught him and pressed start. “After heating, I reattach the ring, shake again to eliminate any hot spots, then squeeze out any remaining air into the sink like this.”

Abbie arched her back and screamed her displeasure at the formula not being squirted into her mouth.

“Then, even though my daughters are ravenous and crying loud enough to make the neighbors think we’re abusing them, which makes me feel like a terrible parent because I am taking so long, I don’t, under any circumstances, feed them until I check the temperature of each bottle by squeezing a small amount of formula on the inside of my wrist, like this.” He demonstrated.

“Perfect,” Jena said when he’d finished. “Now take your daughter.” She handed him Abbie, who had become quite the daddy’s girl.

Justin smiled proudly. “I feel like I just aced an important test.”

“Care to join me on the couch?” she asked. An innocent enough invitation. But Jena’s mind wandered to the last time they’d come together on that couch. Both naked with her straddling his lap.

He looked at her with a teasing grin. “Based on that cute blush of yours, you are so thinking what I’m thinking.”

Busted.

“To feed our daughters,” she clarified because it seemed they both required clarification.

Jena settled into the couch and gave Annie the bottle. Justin must have given Abbie her bottle at the same time because instant quiet. Ahhhhh. “This is my favorite part of the day,” Jena said. The peacefulness of sitting in a darkened room, while holding her sleepily relaxed, contentedly sucking daughter or daughters.

“I can see why,” Justin said. “But my goal as your future husband will be to make
our
bedtime your favorite part of the day.”

If she survived the surgery. If they continued to share a bed. If he wasn’t completely turned off by the post-surgical changes in her body. Quick, change the subject. “It’s so nice to have help, so each of our daughters can get the individual cuddling she deserves,” she said. “Abbie’s a gulper so you need to be diligent about burping her after each ounce. No matter how much she protests.”

And boy did she protest. “I think this one’s going to be trouble,” Justin said trying to hold Abbie still while he patted her back.

“Maybe,” Jena said calmly. “And if she is, we’ll handle it. But please promise me you won’t label her. The troublemaker. The wild one. People used to label Jaci and me as a way of telling us apart. We both hated that. And you know what? For as long as I can remember, people called Jaci ‘The Wild One.’ Since we were little girls. And she did, in fact, grow up to be ‘The Wild One.’ Was it because she was born that way or was she simply living up to what people expected of her?”

“If I had my guess I’d say she was born that way. But I get your point. No labels. Promise.”

As the girls drifted off to sleep Jena and Justin sat side by side in companionable silence, until Jena’s thoughts turned to her surgery and dozens of unpleasant “what if” scenarios. She needed to move around, to work off some of the accumulating nervous energy and keep her mind busy. So she stood. “I’m tired and I still have to clean up.”

“Hopefully you’re not
too
tired,” Justin said as he stood, too.

She wasn’t.

He followed her to the cribs and set Abbie down, gently, on her side, with a rolled blanket at her back and a light comforter covering her, exactly as she’d shown him for their nap earlier.

On his way out, he brushed past her, sliding his front along her back and his chin along her curls. As he passed he whispered, “I’ll do the kitchen. Then I’ll be waiting for you in our bedroom.”

Jena almost melted.

She cleaned up the girls’ room and the bathroom on auto-pilot, having done it so often she barely paid attention anymore, even in her new environment. Her thoughts filled with tomorrow and what she had to do beforehand. Show Justin the notebook where she’d written down the girls’ routines, likes and dislikes, and important information/telephone numbers. Add Abbie and Annie’s birth certificates and her updated will. She’d kept Jaci as her Health Care Proxy, couldn’t risk Justin shutting down life support prematurely if he changed his mind and decided he wanted to be rid of her. Oh, and she couldn’t forget to put out the letters she’d written, just in case.

With the bathroom clean, Jena clipped up her hair and jumped into the shower, wanted tonight to be perfect. But when she stepped out and caught a glimpse of her naked reflection in the mirror she couldn’t look away from the sight of her body with two full, beautiful, real breasts. She cupped them, their weighted fullness heavy in her palms. She ran her thumbs over her dark nipples, felt them tighten and the responding needy twinge that traveled all the way down to between her legs. Always so sensitive, so arousing.

The impending loss burned through her. The finality of it. Complete. Permanent.

* * *

Cleaning up the kitchen and lighting the three dozen candles he’d placed around his bedroom took Justin all of ten minutes.

Now what?

He went into the master bathroom to wash up and brush his teeth.

Fifteen minutes down.

He stripped off his clothes and pulled on a pair of black satin boxer shorts.

Sixteen minutes.

How long did it take Jena to get ready for bed? At twenty-five minutes he went looking for her, finding the door to the hall bathroom partially closed. He peered through the crack to see her, staring at her naked torso in the large mirror over the sink, tracing the shape of her exquisite breasts with her fingers, looking sad.

He knocked softly as he pushed open the door.

She didn’t flinch or move to cover herself, mesmerized by her reflection. “I’m saying goodbye,” she said.

Justin walked up behind her, covered her hands with his, and leaned down to whisper in her ear. “Come to bed so we can say goodbye together.”

“In a minute,” she said.

Yeah right. She’d already had twenty-five minutes.

“Thank you for today.” She looked at him via the mirror. “For taking time off from your job and working so hard to learn the girls’ routines and get us settled in. I really appreciate it.”

And he appreciated her giving him the opportunity to step up and do the right thing. “You’re welcome.” He caressed her breasts and now her hands rested on top of his. She closed her eyes and let her head drop back to his collar bone, elongating her neck.

“I’ve been thinking.” He bent to dot a line of kisses down the side of her neck. “I’ve decided it’s time for me to find a new favorite female body part,” he said. “Breasts are so yesterday.” He moved his hands to her hips, kissed back up her neck and dipped his tongue into the small cove at the base of her ear.

She tilted her head to give him better access and moaned.

“I think this is the spot. The delicate curve of a woman’s neck.” He kissed his way back down. “
My
woman’s neck,” he specified.

“Perfect,” she said on an aroused sigh.

Perfect indeed.

“Now come,” he prompted.

“In a minute, I promise.” She moved his hands and gave him a gentle shove toward the door. “I want to make myself pretty for you.”

“The clock starts now,” he turned her, kissed her lips, and pressed his growing erection against her. “I can’t wait much longer.”

A few minutes later she stood in the doorway to his, no their, bedroom looking at all the candles and every second he’d waited had been worth it. Speech eluded him. Never in all his days had he seen a vision lovelier than Jena at that moment in time, her loose curls teasing at the thin straps of a pale pink, knee-length silk negligee with a deep, tantalizing V that dipped between her breasts and two sexy side slits that showed off plenty of leg. On her feet she wore a pair of silver stilettoes which matched the silver earrings dangling from her ears. He met her at the door. “You are...stunning.”

“The room looks beautiful all lit up with candles.”

Especially for her. He knew she’d like it. “
You
look beautiful.” And alluring. And his. And he wanted her. Now.

“Thank you,” she said. “And thank you for going out of your way to make this night special.” She leaned in to kiss his cheek, her silky body pressed to his, her aroused nipples poking his chest. He refused to think about her surgery and changes that may or may not occur in their sex life as a result. Because right now he had his sexy fiancée in his arms and nothing would keep him from making this night off the charts amazing.

He backed her toward the bed. “You smell so good.” Fragrant. Floral. Enticing.

“You feel so good.” She ran her soft hands up his chest, over his shoulders then down his arms. “So strong.” She set a soft, sweet kiss on his right pectoral.

He pulled her close reveled in the feel of her, thread his fingers through her hair, angled her head so he could plant a lusty kiss on her luscious lips. On contact a potent arousal surged through his system. His body hardened in response. “You drive me wild, Jena Piermont.” He kissed her again, slid his tongue into the slick heat of her mouth, over and over until he needed to break for air. “I want to take things slow, to linger and make tonight last, but I don’t know if I can.”