Secrets of a Spinster (39 page)

“Two.”

She jumped from the bed and scrambled back. He couldn’t break in. Her door was too sturdy, and Geoff was not that strong.

“Three.”

The next instant her door nearly exploded off of its hinges and it swung open, hitting her wall with a loud bang. Geoff stood in the doorway almost majestically, his eyes instantly finding hers, and they blazed with fury. It was a powerful sight, and much to her self-loathing, her heart skipped several beats.

He did not say a word as he stared at her, though he took in her rather unkempt state with interest.

Mary found her spine and swallowed, forcing her face into a glower. “Happy now, are you?”

“Do I look happy?” he asked in a careful voice that didn’t bother to hide the anger emanating off of him.

“You look like a wild animal,” she informed him with a snort. “What, was my no so offensive to your ears that it unleashed you?” She glanced at her door, then back at him. “You owe me a new door.”

“Forget the damned door. Why have you refused to see me?”

“I had no idea you had been trying to see me,” she sniffed, feeling rather proud that her words were true.

He took two steps towards her. “I have called every day, three times each. I was refused every time.”

“Except this time,” she muttered, “so obviously something went wrong.”

“And I sent notes.”

“I never saw them.”

“I figured as much.”

“I should think the point rather evident by now.”

His eyes narrowed. “Quite. Which is why I am here now.”

“In my bedchamber,” she reminded him. She tilted her head up at his set face. “Do I need to scream for help?”

His shoulders drooped ever so slightly, and the tension in his jaw relaxed. “What happened, Mary? Why do you suddenly hate me?”

She scoffed and looked away, feeling her knees begin a traitorous quiver at the hurt she could hear in his words. “If you have to ask…”

“Of course, I have to ask!” he yelled as he threw his arms out wide. “I don’t understand you!”

“Well, that we can agree on!” she yelled back, pushing off of the wall she had been standing against. “If you did, you wouldn’t be such an ignorant, arrogant louse who barges into a woman’s room when she expressly tells him no!”

He snarled and ran his hands through his hair. “You have this impossible ability to drive me to my wits end, Mary! It’s maddening to the point of insanity, which, yes, led me to break down your door just so I could talk to you!”

“If I am so maddening,” she sneered, “then why bother coming at all? I was well enough off ignoring your existence, you have not done me any favors today.”

“I am well aware of that!” he bellowed. “And I’m wondering that myself.” He whirled away, clenching his hands. “I have never been so furious in all my life, and it’s your fault. I should never have said those things to you at the masquerade!”

Mary opened her mouth to argue back, and then realized what he had said. Words evaporated.

He looked back at her when she didn’t respond.

“Wh-what things?” she finally said, her entire body still.

His look softened and he shook his head. “Mary. Did you really think that I didn’t know it was you?”

Her mouth dropped open, and she couldn’t feel anything.

He straightened and faced her fully. “Did you really think that I would say such intimate things to a stranger? Mary…”

“How could you possibly…?” she began as her heart unsteadily began to beat again.

“I knew it was you from the moment you entered the room.” His words were soft, but they echoed as if he had shouted them. They replayed in her mind over and over, and each time it made her pulse pound ever harder.

“I knew it was you,” he said again, coming towards her. “And every word I said was meant for you and you alone.”

Her mouth worked in disbelief. “Why would you…? How could you…?” She sputtered hopelessly as she tried to get out a single coherent thought. “What you said… You weren’t serious?”

“I was serious. In fact, I believe I have never been more serious.”

How could that be? His words had belonged in the mouths of lovers and rogues, and were said to other sorts of women than she. She could only form the questions in her eyes. “But… but Lily Arden…” she stammered.

“…is a sweet girl who is madly in love with someone else and needed a friend. She has no more interest in me than I in her.” He gave her a soft smile that made it impossible to disbelieve him. In fact, it made her fall even more in love with him.

Could it be possible? Could he really have meant everything he had said to her? All of those things she felt… could it have been real?

He took pity on her, closing the distance so that there were only a few feet separating them. “Mary, you know me. I am no flirt, I’m not a rogue, I couldn’t care less about Society and reputations, and I loathe consorting with husband hunters. I could never say such things merely to say them. I meant them for you.” He stepped closer, his expression earnest.

Her heart fluttered in spite of herself. “Geoff,” she said softly.

“I have no expectations,” he told her quietly. “I’m not asking for anything. I just…” He trailed off uncertainly, his eyes searching hers.

“Just what?”

He sighed softly. “I love you.”

She blinked slowly, sure she had heard him wrong. “You… what?”

“I love you, Mary.”

Her knees, so unsteady under pressure, gave way completely and she grabbed at her bedpost. “You… love me?”

“I do,” he said simply.

She shook her head. No, it was not possible. She loved him. And he felt nothing. That was how this worked, how it had always worked. But he sounded so sure, so calm. Perhaps she could forgive him for being stupid at the masquerade, but that didn’t mean that he could just say these things to her. Didn’t he know what it cost her to even listen?

He said her name softly, but she couldn’t look at him.

“Mary,” he murmured again, “I love you.”

She bit back a gasp and looked at him in disbelief. “Why now, Geoffrey?” she asked, not bothering to keep the quiver out of her voice. “After all of these years, why now?”

He shook his head and shrugged helplessly. “I don’t know. That is the most maddening part of this whole affair. How long? I don’t know. Why now? I don’t know. When? I don’t know. All I know is that I love you, Mary Hamilton, and all I want is for you to give me a chance.”

A chance? She almost laughed, except she failed to find the humor. Her heart ached with his words, her mind raced with her doubts, and her hands clenched the bedpost more tightly to keep her upright. “I don’t know if I can believe you,” she whispered. “With all that we have been through this season, how can I believe what you are saying?”

He nodded in understanding. “Would you believe that I come to town just for you? That I have for years?”

Her eyes widened and her breath caught. “That’s not possible,” she managed.

“It‘s the truth,” he assured her in soft, warm tones. “You know me, Mary. You know I hate Society and balls and parties and clubs and theater. I detest London and everything about it. You know that. But every season, I come. I ask myself why, and the answer is simple; I come because you are here.” He shook his head and came closer until he was so close to her that she could feel the warmth of his body. “And I always have, and always will, want to come just to be with you.” He cupped her cheek in one hand and stroked it softly with his thumb. “It’s all the reason I will ever need.”

She couldn’t believe him. She couldn’t…

“Mary,” he whispered, looking into her eyes with such tenderness her heart nearly burst. “I love you. I have been in love with you for years, I was just too blind to see it. I want to be with you today and tomorrow and every day after. And unless you tell me otherwise, I am going to kiss you now, because I cannot bear not to anymore.”

She would never breathe normally again. Her eyes dropped to his mouth, and her lips parted of their own accord.

He leaned in, stroking her cheek softly once more, and then pressed his lips to hers. Soft and sweet, his lips caressed hers, more perfect and magical than even her most vivid imaginations. It seared her soul as if he had branded her with his passion, simmering so near the surface. She was his. She would always be his.

He loved her. She could feel it, could taste it, and she wanted it.

Before she could arch up for more, encourage him, or make any sort of sound, he pulled back, as breathless as she was. He touched his forehead to hers, still cupping her cheek in his hand. “Think about it, Mary. I love you. I want… all I want is you.” He sighed, pressed his lips to hers once more, and left the room quickly, as if he couldn’t bear another minute.

Slowly, very slowly, thought and sense and feeling returned to her. She stared out of the open doorway, ignoring the splintered wood around the locking mechanism, ignoring the crooked manner in which the door hung against the wall, ignoring everything.

Geoffrey Harris had kissed her. Had professed his love for her. Wanted her.

She gasped a shuddering, body-shaking gasp and sank to the chest at the foot of her bed with a sharp thud.

Heavens above. What had just happened?

C
hapter
 
T
wenty
 
F
our

“W
hat did Geoffrey want?”

Mary blinked slowly and looked back at the doorway. “Pardon?”

Cassie’s brows rose with interest. “What did Geoff want? For once, I didn’t eavesdrop, so I really have no idea what went on up here.” She looked at the door for a long moment, but didn’t comment as she looked back at her.

Mary swallowed and shook her head, trying to diminish the fog that had formed. “Don’t pretend that you had nothing to do with it,” she scolded, trying to sound firm. “I know you sent for him.”  

“I didn’t,” Cassie insisted, shaking her head quickly.

Mary gave her a look. “You did so. You disapprove of my behavior and sent for him. I know you, Cassie.”

“No, Mary,” Cassandra said again, growing very serious. “I didn’t. I have been vigilant in keeping him from coming inside the last three days. I’ve taken all of his notes and kept them from you, as you requested, and not said a thing about it.”

Mary hummed in disbelief. “Yet he came.”

“Winston answered the door, and I didn’t get to him fast enough. But Simon and I tried to stop Geoff from coming up. I told him you weren’t receiving, not even for him. We stood in the stairwell and barred him entry.”

That surprised her. “You did?”

Her sister met her eyes and sighed. “He threatened me, Mary. Geoffrey Harris, undoubtedly the sweetest and most gentleman-like man in England, threatened me. And he threatened Simon, who is larger and stronger, I daresay. And I can see he broke your door,” she said with a flick of her wrist.

Mary looked at the door again.

“I think he wanted to see you, Mary,” Cassandra said unnecessarily. “At any cost.”

Unbidden tears sprang into her eyes and she clamped her lips together. She glanced back at her sister, who smiled softly at her tears.

“Have you… have you refused Colin’s party tonight?” Mary managed to squeak out.

Cassie’s brows furrowed in confusion. “No, of course not. We must see what his ballroom can accommodate for our engagement party, so of course Simon and I are…”

“I mean for me,” Mary interrupted gently, allowing a smile to cross her lips. “Have you refused for me?”

Now Cassie grinned broadly. “No. No, I have not.”

“Good.” Mary sniffed back the last of her tears. “I’ll need you to help me get ready, Cassie. I have something very important to attend to.”

Her sister’s grin turned positively fiendish, and right away they went to work.

It was several hours before they were able to depart for Colin’s party, but she was satisfied that it would be well worth it. She had chosen to wear the one gown he had insisted she get; the dark blue that shimmered like the night sky. She had already worn it this season, which would undoubtedly scandalize those who thought she had been permanently transformed into one of the more extravagant debutantes of Society. She didn’t care. That had been the first instance where she had seen something other than friendship in his eyes. Now that she knew he loved her, she wanted to see that look again.