Authors: Jess Michaels
“You are a damned fool,” Jack muttered to himself as he shifted position on his horse to put them more fully in the shade of a tall tree where they might be hidden. Then he stared across the street at the townhouse rising above him.
It was Letitia’s townhouse. And it was most definitely a place where he did not belong. Where he had not been invited. And yet he’d ridden here today almost against his own will. Ridden here and sat for almost an hour, hoping for—what?
A glimpse of the woman inside?
He supposed that was true. After all, he hadn’t stopped thinking about Letitia since last night at War and Claire’s gathering. Her unexpected appearance there, that searing kiss they’d shared in the carriage and the fact that she’d disappeared without so much as a goodbye, had hung in his mind and stirred his most wicked dreams.
Which was ridiculous and foolish to say the least. Lady Seagate was out of his reach, far above his rank and certainly not someone he should be interested in. She had too much connection to her propriety. And despite the fact that she was a widow, there was an undercurrent of innocence about her that let him know she would never fit in his life, even for the briefest stolen moment.
And yet here he still sat on his horse across from her door. Waiting for a glimpse of her. Watching for anything.
Watching as a horse came riding up the street and turned into her drive. A horse that carried a man. Jack lifted a spyglass from his lap with a frown and looked closer. It was a rather handsome man, Jack could see, as the person swung down and spoke to the approaching groom briefly. The interloper strode up the stairs with purpose, like he knew he belonged there. And to Jack’s surprise, the door opened before the man had reached the top step and revealed Letitia, herself, to greet her guest.
She was smiling as she received the man. Smiling at him with familiarity that seemed born from more than a passing acquaintance. And then the man leaned down and pressed a kiss to her cheek.
She didn’t turn away.
Jack clenched his fist around the spyglass, blood pumping to his chest, to his head, as the pair disappeared inside together. Letty was informal enough with her gentleman caller that Jack had to assume they had some kind of relationship beyond the bonds of a mere associate. He might be her lover.
So perhaps Jack had misinterpreted that “innocence” that had both drawn him and set him back.
He knew he should turn and go. Turn and forget Lady Seagate once and for all now that it was clear her interest was elsewhere. And yet he remained, waiting to see when the man departed. And trying to decide what to do once he had.
Letty smiled as Crosby took Aaron Condit’s coat and gloves.
“Welcome back, Mr. Condit,” Crosby said, bowing his head. “Tea is waiting for you in the parlor, my lady.”
“Thank you, Crosby,” she said as the servant moved to go.
Once he had left them in the foyer, Aaron held out an arm to her and she took it, squeezing gently as they walked to her parlor together.
“I was pleased to receive your message last night,” Aaron said as they entered the room, and she motioned him to the settee as she moved to the sideboard to prepare his tea. “Though surprised. We normally meet on the third Thursday of the month, and I’ve never known you to break that habit.”
She brought him a steaming cup, prepared just as she knew he liked it, and then sat down across from him, setting her own cup aside to cool. She decided to ignore his observation that she had called him to her side unexpectedly. The reason behind that wasn’t a topic she was yet ready to broach.
“How are you?” she asked, examining her late husband’s solicitor and best friend closely.
A normal observer would have looked at Aaron’s face and seen a very handsome man with thick, dark blond hair, bright blue eyes and a calm smile. Nothing out of the ordinary except for how striking he was. But Letty knew better. She saw the pain around his eyes, the tightness of his hands in his lap.
She saw the truth. Perhaps she was the only one who did.
He shook his head and the smile fell slightly. “I’m well enough, Letty. As well as can be expected, I suppose. But what about yourself?”
She nodded, hoping her expression was brighter than her tangled heart at present. “I’m well.”
“You’ve been back in Society a bit over six months now. Is it getting any better?” he asked, sipping his tea and shooting her a smile of acknowledgment that she had prepared it as he liked.
She shrugged. “There was that business with the charlatan at the beginning of course.”
Aaron’s face hardened. “It is shocking to think that the very man responsible for your cousin’s disappearance those years ago was so bold as to court you by another name.”
She blushed. She had shared that information with Aaron herself, of course, but it still embarrassed her to know her friend was aware of her weakness.
“I wouldn’t quite call it courting,” she explained. “It was only a few dances, a handful of conversations. I hadn’t made a cake of myself quite yet. I
never
should have believed a man like that would be interested in me anyway.”
“And why is that?” Aaron said with a deeper frown.
“Come, Aaron,” she said, waving her hand like it mattered little when it mattered a great deal more than she had ever said out loud. “You asked how my return to Society has been and I say it is the same as it ever was before my marriage. My spot along the wall was kept warm for me and has welcomed me back with open arms.”
His lips drew tighter at the bitterness in her tone and she wished she could take the words back. They revealed a bit too much, and it wasn’t as if Aaron could do anything about it. He didn’t belong in the society she kept. Not any more than Jack Blackwood did.
Damn, why did she have to think of him?
“What is it, Letty?” Aaron asked, reaching across the distance between then and lightly touching her hand. His voice was soft—tender, almost—and she shut her eyes at the comfort he offered.
“Wh-what is what?” she stammered. She had invited him here to talk to him and yet she still resisted his prying. Partly because she wasn’t certain how he would react when she finally admitted her troubles.
“I have known you a long time, my dear,” he said, releasing her hand and leaning back in his chair. “I
know
you.”
Letty flinched. She wasn’t certain that was true. At least not anymore. But she cleared her throat and forced herself to spit out the words she’d been avoiding.
“I-I did meet a man,” she said at last, her voice cracking.
“Oh.
Oh
!” Aaron leaned forward, draping his elbows over his knees. “I see.”
Heat flooded her cheeks now that she had gone past the point of no return. She refused to meet his gaze as she whispered, “Are you disappointed in me?”
Aaron’s brow wrinkled and he shook his head swiftly. “No, of course not. Noah has been gone a long time now. You of all people deserve happiness. I could never be disappointed. Who is he?”
She shifted. “He is no one in my circle. I don’t think you’d know him.”
He hesitated at her non-answer, but then said, “But do you like him?”
She pinched her lips together. That was a question she hadn’t been expecting. Nor did she have an answer to it.
Like
Jack Blackwood? In some ways she felt that was akin to saying one enjoyed poison. And yet she was drawn to him. Her dreams last night had been haunted by memories of his kiss in the carriage. Only in her dreams he hadn’t ended with just a kiss.
She shivered. “I-I don’t know.” She heard herself say the words and laughed briefly. “That makes me sound foolish, I know.”
“Not at all,” Aaron reassured her with another squeeze of her hand. “These things can be…
complicated
, as you well know already. The heart wants what it wants, doesn’t it? Even if the head doesn’t sometimes agree right away.”
“Yes,” she whispered, holding his gaze a moment. “I know that very well.”
There was a brief moment of pain on his face, but then he smiled. “Still, if you like him even a little, I’m certain he is worthy of your attention. And I hope you will find some happiness. If that is what you called me here for, then I give you my blessing, though you certainly don’t need it.”
She swallowed hard. “I appreciate it, of course, but aren’t you worried?”
His brow knitted again and he shook his head. “Worried why? I would love to see you happy again, married again!”
“Marry again?” she repeated. “You cannot be serious. If I married again, then…” She hesitated and her cheeks grew hot. “Aaron, I am carrying Noah’s secrets and my body could very well betray them. How could I
ever
marry again?”
His face fell at what they both knew and that no one else could ever know. “I’m sorry,” he said softly, simply.
She leaned forward to touch his cheek. “I don’t want to hurt you. I’m just trying to figure out what I am to do.”
He nodded. “Noah’s secrets are…difficult,” he said softly. “And I know carrying them, bearing them, is painful beyond measure. But you shouldn’t let them keep you from a future, Letty. They already took enough in your past. I have already told you that if you were looking for my blessing to pursue this man you’ve met, then you have it. In all ways. And if we come to the point where Noah’s legacy may be compromised, you and I can talk again about ways to avoid that.”
She nodded slowly. Aaron had been the closest person to her husband in life. Somehow, knowing he supported her now was helpful. After all, they were bound by the past. And she had developed a friendship with him that was as unexpected as it was dependable.
Probably for both of them.
Aaron rose. “I’m sorry, but I must rush off, Letty. I wasn’t expecting your summons last night and I have a meeting in a while that I cannot miss. But I’d like to talk to you next week about the charitable fund you’ve been wishing to arrange. I have some ideas.”
She got to her feet with a smile. “Of course. Thank you for indulging me as long as you were able today. I just needed to talk to a friend who—who understands my hesitations on these kinds of matters.”
They walked to the foyer together and out onto the front step. There Aaron turned. “You have been a good friend to me, Letty. More than I ever deserved. Anything I can do for you is done happily, I assure you.”
He caught her hand for one last squeeze and then turned to his horse as the groom brought it to the drive. She watched as he swung up onto the mount, gave her one last wave and rode away. She stood outside for a few moments after he departed, enjoying the sun on her face and the breeze stirring her hair. Meeting with her friend hadn’t solved her problems, but at least it had put her slightly more at ease.
She was about to turn and go back inside when another horse trotted into her driveway. She looked up at the unexpected visitor as he slung himself down and came up her stairs two at a time.
“Jack!” she burst out in shock.
He gave her a flourished bow, and his usual grin was on his face, yet she felt tension coursing from him and his eyes were not teasing, but almost…
angry
.
“Well, well, well, Lady Seagate,” he drawled as he moved to stand on the top step beside her. He leaned against her doorjamb and laughed. “You have surprised me, and I am rarely surprised. I never would have thought you had it in you.”
Jack watched as all the color drained from Letitia’s face, leaving her almost ashen as she stared at him. For a moment, he felt a twinge of guilt for confronting her like he was, but then he remembered the way she had taken her recent visitor’s hand, and shoved the shame aside.
“What are you doing here, Mr. Blackwood?” she asked, her voice trembling.
He laughed, despite finding no humor in the current circumstances. “I actually came here to apologize.”
“
You
, apologize?” she repeated.
“I see you have made assumptions about my character, or lack thereof. Well, in this case, they are accurate. Asking for forgiveness is not something I often do.”
“But you came here to do so?” she asked, her face utterly confused.