Seduced by His Target (21 page)

For a moment, no one spoke. A helicopter flew past the high-rise building, rattling the huge glass window overlooking the harbor below.

“Has he done anything to seem abusive?” Brynn finally asked.

“No, of course not.” Rasheed had protected her every step of the way. Fighting Amir. Taking down Sultan. Breaking into her family’s compound to rescue her. “If anything, he protected me.” Even when he wasn’t sure who she was.

Haley set her wineglass on the end table, then propped her arm over the back of the sofa and turned her way. “I’m not getting this. If he protected you, then why are you afraid he’s going to be abusive?”

She slumped back and closed her eyes. “Because he’s violent. He’s spent years living with criminals. And you should have seen him during that knife fight.” He’d been incredible, lethal,
glorious.
“I’ve never seen anyone fight like that. He was deadly, really fast and skilled. He would have killed Amir if he’d had to.”

“But he didn’t hurt you.”

“No,” she admitted.

Silence pulsed in the room. Brynn cleared her throat. She shifted forward, her gaze on hers. “Look, Nadine. We all had lousy childhoods.”

“No kidding.” Haley had fled an emotionally abusive family. Brynn’s stepfather had molested her.

“And because of that, our perceptions are a little off. It’s hard to know what behavior is normal if you’ve never seen it at home. We assume that everyone else is as warped as the losers we grew up around.

“But the thing is, men are supposed to protect the women they love. That’s what they do. They fight for you. They take care of you. Would you want to be around someone who couldn’t do that?”

She frowned. “No, but—”

“It isn’t a negative trait, Nadine. Strength is a good thing in a guy. It’s only when he’s sick and uses it in a bad way that it becomes a problem.”

Nadine thought about that. Rasheed was definitely a warrior. He’d exhibited his intelligence and strength at every turn. But he’d also been surprisingly gentle.

And that confused her. All her life, she’d divided men into two distinct camps—good and bad, mild mannered and brutes. But Rasheed had muddled those categories from the get-go, never fitting in either one.

So maybe Brynn was right. Maybe her judgment really was off. Maybe those categories that had helped her survive as a child weren’t so useful as an adult. Instead of enabling her to avoid danger, they were now getting in her way, keeping her from seizing the love she deserved.

“But how can you ever be sure? My brother can be charming, and look what he’s like. He’s a monster inside.”

Haley’s voice softened. “Are you sure this is about Rasheed? I have a feeling it’s more about you, and whether you can give him your trust.”

That thought took her aback. “Maybe.”

“The thing is...I think you already have.”

“How do you figure that?”

“Would you really have slept with him if you didn’t trust him?”

Her heart missed a beat. Haley was right. She’d sensed that he was a good guy from the start. “I guess not.”

“Do you love him?” Brynn asked.

Did she? She’d never been in love before. But if this aching need to see him, this terrible void he’d left in her heart was any sign... She sighed. “Yeah, I think I do.”

“So now you just need to trust yourself,” Brynn said.

Nadine swallowed hard. “I’m afraid I’m going to make the wrong choice, and that I’ll be trapped. Look at my mother and my sister-in-law. They both made terrible choices, and look how awful that turned out.”

“But they didn’t really have a choice, did they?” Brynn asked. “Didn’t you say their marriages were arranged?”

She nodded. They’d both been forced to marry men their families had picked.

Brynn leaned forward, her gaze suddenly intent. “Look, Nadine. I’m not trying to minimize this. You’re the only one who can decide what’s best for you. And with your past, with all our pasts, it’s harder than it is for most people. We see the worst-case scenario because of how we grew up. But at some point, you have to let go of the past. You have to stop letting it have power over you.”

“Love is always a risk,” Haley cut in. “There’s never any guarantee that it’s going to work out long-term. So what you need to do is figure out if the risk is worth it. Is it better to take the chance or be alone?

“The guys you dated in the past, they were men you couldn’t love, men who didn’t really excite you that much. They were safe because they never tempted you to make a choice. But now you’ve found someone who’s worthy, and you have to choose.”

Risk versus rewards. Trading the status quo for the unknown. “It’s scary,” she admitted. “And what if I’ve imagined how he felt? For all I know, he might not even love
me.
”

Brynn and Haley both laughed. “He loves you, gorgeous. He’d have to be nuts not to.”

“Then why didn’t he come to see me in the hospital?”

Haley knitted her brows. “Are you sure he didn’t?”

“I think I would have noticed.”

“Then he must have had a good reason.”

Right.
Rising, she made a face. “Like maybe I was just part of the job to him.”

“Don’t be silly. From everything you’ve told us, he’s head over heels in love.” Haley rose and hugged her, careful not to jostle her arm. “Don’t worry so much. You’ll figure this out. Trust your instincts, and try to keep an open mind. And get some sleep. Things always look better in the morning.”

They all smiled. That had been their mantra as runaway teenagers. They’d recited it as if it were a lifeline when their situations got dire. And miraculously, sometimes things had actually improved with the light of day.

“You guys are the best,” Nadine whispered.

“Best friends forever,” Brynn agreed. She hopped up and gave her a heartfelt hug.

But later that night, as Nadine lay in the spacious guest bed, she continued replaying their conversation in her head. And in the end, she had to admit that her friends were right. Rasheed was nothing like the abusive men she’d grown up with. He didn’t even come close. Even though he’d fought Amir, even though he’d done terrible things to infiltrate the Rising Light organization, he had never been the least bit violent with her. He’d never tried to control her, never put his own needs ahead of hers.

On the contrary. He’d proven his trustworthiness multiple times—giving her opportunities to escape, protecting her at his own expense. She could definitely trust her instincts about him.

And he’d truly loved his wife. She’d heard the agony in his voice, sensed the terrible devastation he’d suffered when she had died. And what was it they said—that a man who had loved once was more likely to love again? And any man willing to go to such extremes to avenge his wife’s death had more than proven his fidelity.

But did he love her?
That was the big question, the one she’d been trying to avoid in case the answer came out wrong. Closing her eyes, she thought back to the night in her cottage when they’d made love, remembering the heat, the hunger, the need. She envisioned his face as they sat on the beach, the sympathy in his eyes when she’d told him about her life. The stark fear in his eyes when he’d entered the reception and realized the bomb would explode.

He loved her, all right. Maybe he’d never actually said the words, and maybe she’d never seen a man look at her that way before, but she’d recognized it. She’d responded to it. She’d felt it in every kiss.

So why hadn’t he come to the hospital?

The heater in the room kicked on. Snuggling deeper into the bedcovers, Nadine started from the beginning, going back over every moment they’d spent together, trying to figure it out. And halfway toward dawn, the answer finally came.

He thought his wife had died because of his mistake. That guilt he felt for failing her had driven him for years. And with his protective nature, he would never want to take the chance that she might suffer the same fate.

The CIA was dismantling the Rising Light network. Her father was dead, and before long they’d have most of the key players under arrest. But Rasheed would still worry—not just that they’d come after him to retaliate, but after her. He would fear exposing her to danger, just as he did to his wife, and with potentially the same results.

And he would sacrifice his happiness to keep her safe.

For the first time in days, her chest grew light. Happiness bubbled inside her, along with a surge of hope. They loved each other. They could make this work. But if she wanted a future with Rasheed, she would have to go after him and convince him that she was willing to take the risk.

Chapter 16

N
adine had never been more nervous in her life.

But then, she’d never had so much at stake.

She stepped into the coffee shop tucked off a McLean, Virginia, side street, a rush of adrenaline making her heart pound as she scanned the room. A toddler wailed from a nearby high chair. A mother hurried past with a wad of napkins, scolding her son for spilling his drink. A trio of teenagers slouched at a table by the door, staring at their cell phones as they scarfed down sandwiches and subs.

Not exactly great ambience, she mused, standing on tiptoe to see through the lunchtime crowd. Not exactly where she’d envisioned baring her soul to the man she loved. But then her eyes landed on Rasheed across the room, and the noisy restaurant faded away, her equilibrium coming undone.

Her heart started to race. Her throat turned completely dry. For what seemed like a lifetime, she stood riveted, soaking in every mesmerizing detail about him—his shaggy black hair, his high cheekbones and stubborn jaw, the thick, dark brows framing his bold face. She skimmed his broad shoulders and corded neck, his lean hands and muscled arms, the width of his sculpted back.

And then his eyes slashed to hers, and the blast of heat they generated scorched straight to her defenseless heart.

“Excuse me,” a woman said, pushing past her.

“Sorry.” Her face warming, she forced her feet into motion and headed toward the booth. But her gaze stayed locked on his, her stomach doing cartwheels, hoping beyond reason that she could convince him to take a chance on her.

Another man climbed out of the booth as she approached. She tore her gaze from Rasheed, nodding at Dennis Caldwell, the CIA boss she’d met at the hospital.

“Thanks for coming,” the older man said. He motioned for her to sit beside him, and she scooted across the bench. She sat directly across the table from Rasheed, and her gaze swerved back to his.

What was he thinking
? She was desperate to ask. But she refused to blurt out her feelings in front of his boss. She’d have to hold her tongue until he left, and they were alone.

Caldwell took off his bifocals and cleared his throat to begin. “I have something for you. For both of you, actually. Invitations.” He opened a folder he’d placed on the table and pulled out two large, cream-colored envelopes.

Nadine glanced at the one he handed her, and her brows rose. “The White House?”

Caldwell nodded. “It’s a special reception. The vice president wants to thank you personally for saving his life.”

She ran her hand over the embossed envelope, then opened it and peeked at the invitation inside. It bore the vice president’s seal. “That’s nice of him, but it really isn’t necessary.”

“Sure it is. If it weren’t for you, he could be dead right now. You put your life on the line for him. You also helped us crack this case. I’d say that warrants a reception, at the very least.”

She tucked the invitation back into the envelope and set it aside. “I wanted to bring those terrorists down as much as you did.”

Caldwell slipped his glasses on again. “Speaking of that...a bit of news. The ambassador from Jaziirastan has been recalled.”

The man her father had wanted her to marry. “That’s convenient.”

Caldwell made a face. “I’m sure he did it to avoid prosecution. You know, taking advantage of his diplomatic immunity.”

“What about the other partners in the holding group?”

Rasheed shifted forward, drawing her gaze. “They’ve all slunk off like rats abandoning ship. But we’ll get them. We hit the jackpot in your father’s study. He had all sorts of records on his computer about his
hawala
transactions, going back more than thirty years. We’re still combing through it all, but we’re making a real dent in the Rising Light network. We should be able to bring down the key players and implicate several banks before long.”

“Your brother was involved in it, too,” Caldwell said. “He used his real estate company to help transfer funds. Even without the bomb charges, we’ve got enough to lock him away for several lifetimes. He’s not going to be carrying out any more attacks.”

“Good. He deserves to rot after what he did to his wife.”

“How is she?” Rasheed asked.

Nadine met his eyes, the usual sizzle buzzing through her veins. She marveled at that, wondering if she would ever get used to his effect on her. “They’re releasing her from the hospital tomorrow. They finally got the infection under control. She’ll need more surgery later to repair the nerve damage and do some reconstructive work, but not for several more months.”

“What is she going to do?”

Nadine leaned back against her seat, careful to protect her injured arm. “I’m not sure exactly. She’s going to stay at a shelter for battered women to begin with. The director is Iranian. I think she’ll do well there. She’ll fit in with the other women. And she has a great lawyer who’ll take care of all the legal issues.”

Her recovery still wouldn’t be easy. Knowing her husband had tried to kill her had forced her to take a long, hard look at her life. But something told her that Leila was stronger than she’d once believed, and would end up pulling through.

Hesitating, she met Caldwell’s eyes. “I’ve been wondering, though, if you found out how my father found me.”

Caldwell shook his head. “Not really. Our best guess is that the old gang leader, the one who led the City of the Dead when you saw that murder, figured out who you were, probably through your friends.”

“It couldn’t have been easy to find me in Peru, though.”

“No, but once they knew who you were, if they knew you volunteered with Medical Help International, they could have looked up your itinerary. We might never know for sure, though. Not unless we get lucky and some of the people in prison talk.”

She gave him a nod. “The main point is that they aren’t after us anymore.”

“No, you’re all safe.” Caldwell rose, then reached down and shook her hand. “Listen, I’ve got to go. But you’ve got my number if you need me, and I’ll be in touch. We’ll probably have questions as we work through the evidence. I’d like to set up another interagency meeting soon. And we’ll need your help with your brother down the line when we go to trial.”

“Anytime,” she said. She’d definitely do her part to lock Sultan away for good.

The CIA boss walked away. Nadine swung her gaze back to Rasheed, her heart beating faster now. People chatted in the booth beside them. A car started up in the parking lot, then backfired as it drove away. She dragged in a breath, but instead of the nerves that had gripped her earlier, a sudden feeling of calmness overtook her, the conviction that this was right.

“I asked Caldwell to bring you here today,” she told Rasheed.

His dark brows rose. “Yeah?”

“I figured he owed me a favor. And I wanted to talk to you.”

“That’s interesting.” The corners of his eyes crinkled up. “Because I did the same thing. He was going to mail the invitations to us, but I asked him to deliver them in person so I could see you.”

Her breath hitched. Hope pounded inside her, echoing the quick, heavy beats of her heart. “Then why didn’t you come to the hospital?”

“You’re right. I should have gone back.”

“What do you mean by
back?
You were there?”

“That first night. I hung around until the nurses finally took pity on me and let me go in your room. You were asleep.”

She stared at him, surprised. “I didn’t know.”

“I thought it was better for you if I left.” He reached out and took her hand. His thumb stroked her wrist, sending quivers racing through her nerves while she waited for him to speak.

His eyes met hers again. His Adam’s apple dipped, revealing a hint of nerves. “The truth is that I love you. But I was worried about your safety. I couldn’t stand the thought of putting you in danger again.”

The blood thundered in her skull. It took her a moment to find her voice. “You love me?”

He held her gaze. “You must know that. I’ve been nuts about you from the start.” His big hand tightened on hers. “But I can’t ignore the danger. We’re dismantling the Rising Light organization, and most of the key players will probably end up behind bars before too long, but there’s always a chance someone could come after me. And I didn’t want to expose you to that.”

“I’m probably in as much danger as you are now. I helped bring them down, too. And we’re probably stronger together than we are alone.”

“That’s what I finally figured. And I was miserable without you. I missed you so damned much. But I wanted to be sure you’re okay with that.”

“I’m sure. I’m not going to let them ruin my happiness, Rasheed. I waited too long to find you. I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You won’t. You can’t. I’m not going anywhere. I even resigned from the CIA.”

“What?”

“I took a job as a private consultant.” His mouth slid into a smile. “That’s the other thing I’ve been doing the past few days—taking care of that. Basically it means I’ll be doing the same work for a lot more money. But I’ll mostly do it from here, from D.C. So I’ll be around a lot more. And I can be myself. I don’t have to go undercover again.”

“I like that.” He’d lived that hellish life long enough.

“I needed time to think about Sarah, too.” His gaze met hers dead-on, the stark honesty in his expression causing her to swallow hard. “What happened to her... I can never go back and redo the past. I’ll always feel a little guilty about her death. But I’ve finally come to terms with it, that it wasn’t completely my fault. Bringing down the Rising Light network has helped.”

“I’m glad.” He deserved closure after the burden he’d carried for years.

“By the way, I’m sorry about your father, that it ended the way it did.”

“Don’t be. His death was his own fault. He was so determined to avenge his honor, even at the end. I think he realized I was going to escape, that we were going to defeat the bomb, so he decided to shoot me instead.”

“Still...”

“I’m not grieving, Rasheed. I’m not even angry anymore. He was never really a father to me, just a cruel man who wanted to control my life. If anything, I feel pity for him and disgust. He beat out any love I might have had for him early on.

“That’s one of the things I wanted to tell you,” she continued. “I’ve been thinking about my job, too. And since I don’t have to hide anymore, I’ve decided to start speaking out about honor killings and abuse. I’ll still do my surgical work, but I think there’s a need for women who are willing to speak out. Senator Riggs is helping me set something up.”

“That sounds perfect.”

She smiled. “I’ll relocate to D.C. I want to be near my friends, the people I love...including you.”

His gaze didn’t move from hers. Her heart swelled at the love swarming in his coal-black eyes—the same crazy feeling bursting in her. How could she have had any doubts?

“Nadine, I... Wait a minute.” Without warning, he slid out of the booth. “Come on.” He reached out his hand and pulled her up. Then, keeping a firm grip on her hand, he tugged her toward the door.

“Where are we going?”

“Outside.” He pushed open the door, and pulled her into the parking lot. He angled between two cars, crossing to a tree at the edge of the lot, then stopped.

The cold wind blasted her face. Shivering, she squinted in the bright afternoon sunshine shining through the leafless tree. “What are we doing?”

Careful not to bump her sling, he pulled her close. “I didn’t want to propose in a restaurant.” He glanced around. “Not that the parking lot is much better.”

Her heart went wild. “You’re proposing?”

His eyes turned somber. His cool hands bracketed her face. “I love you, Nadine. I think I loved you from the moment I saw you in the camp. Whatever you want to do, wherever you want to go, I just want to be with you. Will you marry me? Will you do me the honor of becoming my wife?”

Her eyes turned moist. Her lips trembled, emotions swamping her heart. She reached up and stroked his beloved face, tracing the tiny bristles covering his skin, the bruises fading around his eye, the aggressive angles of his jaw. He had the face of a warrior. A man tested by violence. A man who would always protect her. The man she loved.

She’d run the gamut of extremes. She’d suffered through an abusive childhood. She’d witnessed her mother’s painful marriage and the brutality her sister-in-law endured. She’d known vicious men, and gentle, unthreatening men—men she could easily forget.

And then she’d met Rasheed. Her kidnapper. A man who’d tossed her world on end, shaking up her composure and making her feel vibrantly alive. And it turned out that the man she’d thought was so totally wrong for her instead had been perfectly right.

“I’ll marry you,” she whispered. “I’ve never wanted anything more in my life.”

He tugged her even closer. And then his mouth took hers in a kiss so tender that more tears sprang to her eyes. And she realized he’d chosen the perfect place. They were outside in the sunlight, a place where the darkness of their pasts would never touch them again. They had emerged from the shadows for good.