Seduction (2 page)

I look down at my feet, trying to think of
what to say next, although God knows exactly what I'm going to say
next. "You see, God, I've had many men interested in me before,
especially when I was younger, but the last several years I've been
on my own. It was easy to ignore men because they ignored me, but
Theo isn't ignoring me. The way his eyes wander over my body–he's
doing the exact opposite of ignoring me. Matt's at least subtle
about his interest in me and it's easy to ignore the way Matt feels
about me because I've never been interested in him like that, but
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't interested in Theo. I am interested
in him. Every inch of my body lights up when I'm around him and I'm
feeling things I’ve never felt before."

I fluff my pillow and then set it down on one
end of the pew. Lying down on my back, I place my head on the
pillow and then cover my body with the wool blanket. The glow of
the moon outside lights the skylight and casts colorful rays inside
the church building. I’m ready to get a good night sleep before my
busy day tomorrow.

Closing my eyes I let out a deep yawn before
opening them back up and staring at the ceiling.

"I just need a sign that you're okay with
this. I know I'm mad at Theo right now, but I also know that if he
were to decide to pursue me again then I'd be putty in his hands. I
need to know that you're on team Cassie, no matter how stupid of a
decision this might be.

"I'm going to focus on my responsibilities
this weekend, but I'm asking you to show me something, anything,
letting me know that my feelings for Theo are real and that I have
your blessing to be with him. While I'm sleeping, think about it.
'Night."

***

"Rise and shine, sleepy head."

I groan, arching my back as I stretch my arms
above my head. I peel my eyes open and Matt is standing above me
with coffee in one hand and a paper sack in the other.

"Why is it you're so happy in the morning?" I
ask him. His chirpiness is something I will never get used to.

"Maybe I'm just happy because I get to see
your beautiful face this morning."

I roll my eyes at him and sit up in the pew.
Matt's freshly showered. His light blond wavy locks are hanging at
the sides, and he's dressed casually in a pair of jeans and red
fitted shirt.

I've known Matt for a few years now. Ever
since he caught me in this church one night. He's the nephew of
Father Carmichael and he threatened to call the police on me, but
then abruptly changed his mind and we've been friends ever
since.

"There's nothing beautiful about my face in
the morning, Matt. I have bags under my eyes, drool on my chin, and
knots in my hair."

"Are you trying to tell me you're not a
morning person? Lucky for you I already know this, hence the coffee
and bagels. The bagels will give you fuel for the day and the
coffee will keep your butt awake."

I smile sweetly up at him. "Two creams, one
sugar?"

"Oh, ye of little faith. I've never gotten
your coffee order wrong."

He hands me the disposable cup and the aroma
of freshly brewed coffee overwhelms my senses. I take a few sips
and am ready to start my day.

"Give me five minutes and I'll be ready to
go."

I head towards the back of the church and
through the small door labeled for clergy members only. In there is
a private bathroom with a white wooden vanity. I walk in and open
the vanity's cabinet to retrieve my overnight bag. I leave it here
in the church for the nights I sleep here. I change into my
Saturday volunteer clothing, which is a pair of denim skinny jeans
and a red shirt. Then I brush my teeth, brush my hair, and pull my
hair back in a ponytail, ready to tackle the day ahead of me.

When I walk back out in the open sanctuary,
Matt is sitting down and devouring a chocolate chip bagel. He
reaches in the bag and I know if I don't get over to him in the
next five seconds he'll start to eat my bagel as well.

"Hands off, Matt. I need that fuel."

He grins up at me and says, "I was only
checking to make sure they got your order right. I would never eat
your food."

"Yeah right. " I huff, snatching the bag out
of his hands and reaching in for my Asiago cheese bagel. "Just like
last week you didn't eat my chocolate muffin while I was
changing."

"I didn't. The cafe must have forgotten to
put it in my bag."

I nudge him with my shoulder as I take a bite
of my bagel. The warm bread mixed with cream cheese is delicious
and satisfying. It only takes me a few minutes to eat the entire
thing and Matt waits for me in silence.

He's always so patient with me.

"You ready to go?" I ask him as I swallow the
last bite of my bagel and chase it with another sip of my
coffee.

"Yep. Let's drive separately though. I have
plans afterwards so I won't be able to drive you back to your
car."

We walk out the doors of the church and Matt
locks up. The bright sun is shining down on us. We're ready to
begin our Saturday morning.

"Do you need me to drive you to your
employer's house to pick up your car on the way?'

I spot my car a space down from Matt's but I
realize he has no idea that I have a new vehicle. He'll freak when
he sees it's a Lexus.

"Umm... actually, my car is here. It's the
Lexus near yours."

His eyes grow wide as he looks the SUV over
and then back at me. "That's yours? I almost had it towed this
morning when I pulled in. How did you manage to afford that?"

"My... um... my employer bought it for me,
kind of. It's a long, boring story but at the end of it I end up
with a Lexus."

He looks me over skeptically but whatever he
wants to say he keeps to himself. "Well, it's a nice car and if
anyone deserves a nice car it's you, Cassie."

"Thanks, Matt."

We walk over to our vehicles and Matt begins
to tell me about this date he has tonight with a girl he met at a
bar a few nights ago. Even though Matt had made it very clear in
the past that he'd like to date me, I'm glad to see he's moved
on.

"Matt, that's great. You haven't gone on a
date in such a long time."

I reach up and wrap my arms around his neck
in a friendly hug. He returns the embrace by wrapping his arms
around my waist and squeezing me tightly. When I start to pull away
I briefly kiss him on the cheek and smile up at him.

"You'll have to tell me all about the date
the next time I see you. I hope it goes really well for you,
Matt."

"Thanks, Cassie." He chuckles shyly and then
walks over to his truck. I get into my SUV and start it, allowing
it to warm up. When Matt pulls out of the parking lot I follow him
and head to our next destination.

Matt going on a date tonight only makes me
think of Theo even more. I'd like to go on a date with Theo. I'd
like to be normal for once. Meet a guy, date a guy and possibly see
myself having a future with a guy. I've never had that before and I
finally find someone I might be able to have that with, and he's
pulling away from me and using Chris as an excuse. I don't know how
much more of this teeter-totter of a relationship I can handle.

I just need a sign telling me what to do.

Two

Theo

Entry #1600

I've often wondered why I waste my time
writing my thoughts in this thing. Is it for me, or for my
therapist to analyze my deepest and darkest thoughts? I'm sure
he'll say it's for me, but I think it's the latter. I almost
abandoned doing this tedious task completely, but then I met Cassie
and it gave me a new purpose. Someone to write about, but after my
actions today it might be the one piece of evidence to verify that
I am, in fact, in need of professional help.

Maybe I should burn this journal.

I'm going to hurt that motherfucker.

Cassie's Lexus is pulling out of the parking
lot after that douchebag just had his hands all over her. What the
hell is he doing with her anyway? I'm not losing it. I know that
truck wasn't there last night before I fell asleep. It's completely
irrational, but I need to know when that truck arrived, who that
man is, and how he knows Cassie.

Pulling out of my spot on the street, I
follow Cassie's SUV. The traffic is light this morning as we weave
through the lanes until we're turning into a park district building
several blocks away. There are many other vehicles in the parking
lot when we pull in. I know I should stay in the car and wait until
she finishes whatever she's doing here. Better yet, I should leave
now and go home while my dignity is still somewhat intact.

I wish I could say that's what I did, but
instead I find myself climbing out of my vehicle in yesterday's
clothes and following Cassie and my blond-haired nemesis into the
building. It's only when I am approaching the door that I notice a
line forming on the outside of the brick building. The people lined
up are in worn-out clothing, layered to protect them from the
morning chill. The line wraps around the building and now I'm
really wondering what Cassie is doing here.

Once I walk through the entrance the
florescent lights that line the ceiling blind me, reflecting off
the white walls. There are paper signs up directing incomers to the
cafeteria and when I enter the large room it has a handful of
people all dressed similarly in denim jeans and red t-shirts. This
is similar to what Cassie was wearing when she walked out of the
church.

Scanning the room I spot her ponytail swaying
back and forth while she unloads rolls of bread from a plastic
container on the floor, perfectly lining them up on the folding
table. The blond man is next to her setting up portable coffee
machines and bottles of water.

This is some kind of makeshift soup kitchen.
She must be volunteering here.

Wow. She really is out of my fucking
league.

Just as I'm thinking I should make a silent
departure she looks up and our eyes connect. Her stunning caramel
brown eyes brighten with curiosity and then she's on the move,
walking towards me with confident determination.

I stay unmoving as she approaches me, because
really, what else am I supposed to do?

"What are you doing here, Theo?" She crosses
her arms over her chest, which just makes the material of her baggy
shirt tighten across her breasts. Her full tits are begging to be
released from the material.

Thank God that even with her weight loss she
hasn't lost her luscious curves. I want to drown myself between her
breasts and motorboat my way out.

Unfortunately, all the attention I'm giving
her curves makes me forget the question she's asked and when I
finally look back up at her face, she's fuming with rage.

"Can you think with the head on top of your
neck for just a few minutes instead of the one in your pants?"

She's feisty in the morning. I like it.

"I apologize," I reply politely, remembering
to try and be a gentleman. "I came here to see if we could talk but
I didn't realize you'd be busy organizing a meal." I look around
the cafeteria again and see the many volunteers preparing soup,
sandwiches, and salads. In another area there are a few men putting
packaged snacks inside brown paper bags and laying them out on a
large table by the exit.

"As you can see, Theo, right now isn't the
best time to talk. I'm pretty sure you said all you needed to say
to me yesterday. I got your message loud and clear, so you don't
have to worry about me and I won't be saying anything to Chris if
that's what you're worried about."

Chris? She thinks I'm worried about Chris? I
mean, yes, I don't want to jeopardize my friendship with him for
her, or anyone else, but I also want to see where this could
possibly go. The feelings I'm developing for her may actually lead
to something more than just mind-blowing sex.

But if I only end up getting mind-blowing sex
I can be okay with that, too.

"This isn't about Chris and this isn't about
yesterday, although I'd like to apologize for the way I acted. I
must have been temporarily insane to reject you when you've been
all I've thought about for months."

Did I really just admit that? Fuck, shut up,
Theo.

"Months?" she asks, her expression changing
from fury back to curiosity.

I should lie and correct myself but something
deep inside is telling me that I need to be honest with her in
order for this to go anywhere. It'll be the first time I've been
completely honest with a female.

"Did I say months? It's actually been closer
to a year."

Her jaw drops and I want to reach out and
caress her chin before shutting her mouth for her with my
tongue.

"Now you're just full of it. You would have
never looked at me a year ago. Quite frankly, I'm shocked you're
even looking at me now."

"Why is that?" I'm genuinely curious as to
why she thinks I wouldn't look at her.

She avoids my question completely and asks,
"How did you know I was here, Theo?"

Shit. I can't tell her I followed her here
because that would solidify my insanity and then years from now
I'll be another story on
Dateline
narrated by
Lester
Holt
.

"Cassie, is everything okay?" The blond prick
is back at her side and looking at me skeptically as he addresses
her.

She turns and offers him a fake smile.
"Everything's fine. Matt, this is... my friend, Theo. Theo, this is
Matt."

Just Matt. I get no other explanation. Not
"Theo, this is my friend, Matt" or "Theo, this is Matt and he's
gay" or even "Theo, this is the current asshole I'm fucking which
is why you'll never have a chance with me".

He's tall and by the defined arms popping out
of his red shirt it's obvious he works out, but I'm taller and my
body could whoop his ass. He's average-looking but his nose is
crooked, his eyes are slightly asymmetric and he has bird lips.
Physically this man is no competition.