Seeing Julia (25 page)

“Should I leave or something?” I ask.

“No, we want you here. We’re just having dinner,” Kimberley says.

“Looks like a lot more than dinner to me.” I grin over at both of them. “So, what brings you to Paris, Doctor …
Brad
?

“I told him he should come,” Kimberley says. “Take a break from Manhattan and see Paris.” I look from one to other, confused. “You told him that, huh? When did you tell him that, exactly?”

“I ran into him the last time I was in Manhattan.” She gets this enchanted look. “Last month?” Kimberley asks this as if she has forgotten what month it is.

“February?” I ask.

“Yes, it was February.” Kimberley nods. “I don’t remember the date though.”

“It was late February,” Brad says. “February 26
^th
, at four in the afternoon, to be exact. At a Starbucks in Tribeca.”

“Near the apartment?” I ask in surprise. Kimberley looks so captivated she looks like she might float away. I’m trying to put this all together. “How long have you been here, Brad?”

“I just got in last night,” Brad says. “I’m attending a conference. I leave Sunday. My flight’s at seven Sunday night.”

Kimberley looks miserable when he says this.
Holy shit.
“So, you just ran into each other at the coffee shop here in Paris, too? That’s a lot of coffee talk for a girl who doesn’t normally sit still long enough to drink coffee or chat for hours.”

Kimberley looks over at me. “Julia, we want you to be okay with it. Because if you’re not, we’ll have to work something else out.”

Her blue eyes sparkle with tears. I’m taken aback.
Not a crier, our dear Kimberley.

“Kimmy and I want to ensure you’re okay with it,” Brad says. “Because if you’re not, I’m stepping aside.” Our handsome doctor takes a needed breath. I think he’s been holding it. “So, Julia, are you okay with it?”

It
has become a very big word, indeed. I study Brad. Dr. Hallmark Card seems a little disheartened now. Where’s all that grand philosophical schtick about love, attraction, wants, and needs?

“Well, you pretty much know all my double down secrets, so there’s really no problem there,” I say slowly. “The only thing I would say is Kimmy personifies all that is miraculous about this world, but since you’re a wizard yourself you should be able to handle and appreciate her brand of magic.” Then, I smile, this benevolent smile. “As long as you understand, we’re kind of a package deal, I’m cool with it.”

The way they gaze at each other says it all. I’ve given them a gift and I didn’t bring anything.

Later, I look over at Kimberley as we finish our American meal of hamburgers and fries, Paris style, while Brad excuses himself for a few minutes.

“Kinetic energy,” I say.

“Yes,” Kimberley says.

“We talked about this.”

“Uh-huh.” Kimberley glances up at Brad as he crosses the dining room toward us; she practically shimmers with light, and then looks over at me.

“I’m seeing it. It’s so beautiful.”

“Yes.”

“The bound part…seeing that, too. How does it feel?”

“Amazing,” Kimberley says.

“That’s what I thought.”

≈ ≈

It’s two in the morning Paris time. Our newest addition to the inner circle, Dr. Bradley Stevenson, accompanies Kimberley and me to the bar at his hotel and we talk for hours about everything: Gregoire and how Kimberley was going to tell him;
Liaison
and how Kimberley and I are thinking of handling that with the Paris staff and David; Reid; Christian and Stephanie; Evan; Bobby; holidays; birthdays; Kimberley’s family; my parents; Brad’s parents; Kimberley; Brad; and me.

My best friend is looking at me in amazement half the night. I don’t think she was aware of how
open
the Pandora’s Box of my life has been with Brad. I’ve never disclosed this much with her before or shared how I felt about any of it. There were never deep discussions about my feelings or
me
. And now, here we are having whole conversations about all aspects of my life, her life, and Brad’s. I know she’s pieced together what’s happened to me over the years, but I think the freedom in being able to talk about it liberates her as much as it does me.

“What about Jake?” Kimberley asks. I give her a surreptitious look. “Her funeral liaison. Jake Winston,” she says to Brad, who nods and looks a little uncomfortable.

How far does patient doctor privilege go for former patients?

“He’s been helping her through all the estate stuff and he’s working with Evan’s hedge fund clients. He was Evan’s best friend. He’s a
great
guy,” Kimberley says.

“So what about him?” I ask. I’m defensive, tired, and undone, all at once. “I can’t even think about Jake. Let’s not ruin a perfectly wonderful evening talking about
Jake
.”

“There it is. Did you see that, Brad? That thing she does with her lips. She kind of purses them and involuntary half-smiles when she says his name.”

“I do not.”

“You kind of do, Julia,” Brad says.

I look over at him a little disenchanted. “I don’t want you two ganging up on me about Jake. I don’t know what’s going to happen with him.”

“Well, I do,” Kimberley says. She waves her hands in the air as if she’s dispensing her brand of magic on me right there.

≈ ≈

Kimberley and I take a taxi back to Gregoire’s chateau. Gregoire is still in Nice and due to fly in to Paris tomorrow morning. We look at each other and share this sense of unease, knowing what will transpire for her when she talks to him tomorrow.

“I’m surprised you came back with me,” I say.

Kimberley had just hugged Brad and kissed the side of his face, then, left with me.

“We’ve decided to wait.” Kimberley gets this impish look.

Now, this is news.
“What?”

“My idea. He’s game, but I want it be special and so we’re going to wait a while. Wait and see how things go. Let it simmer for a while; and then, we’ll see. I have to deal with Gregoire. I want to be fair, be free.” She frowns. “And, I just want to wait and see.”

“Wait and see,” I say. “A novel idea for you, Kimmy. Why do I think this is tied back to the bound thing?” She doesn’t answer me, just floats away in this bliss she’s discovered with Dr. Bradley Stevenson and calls out an airy good night on her way to bed.

≈ ≈

Now, I’m wide awake going through the revelations of this past evening and the early morning hours about Kimberley and Brad. There’s this sense of loss in knowing Brad and I won’t be having frank conversations under the guise of the doctor-patient roles anymore. But I like him; I don’t need counseling sessions anymore.

Intuitively, I already know he’ll always be with Kimberley and has a better understanding of my friendship with her than anyone else has ever had. Kimberley entering into a relationship with Brad will take all of her attention and focus away from me. There’s a part of me set free by this turn of events. I’m ready to be on my own, revitalized in witnessing the magic that is uniquely theirs. Maybe, it will lead to my own.

My mind drifts towards later this morning. Kimmy’s already arranged to meet up with Gregoire. I feel sad about their ending which leads me to inevitable thoughts about Evan. I take steady breaths and try to focus on all the wonderful memories of him and not let the sadness prevail.
Evan.
When I walked down the aisle at our wedding, the way he gazed at me, there was no one else that day, not even Bobby. When Reid was born, the intimacy in welcoming our son forged our relationship together, however imperfect we’d been with each other in the past, we were both committed to our future, committed to a normal life: a marriage, a baby, each other.
Evan. I miss you.

Before turning off the light, I check my cell phone and discover a text message from my assistant, telling me she got the package to Jake mailed off to the Hamilton Equities office in New York. I text back a thank you and feel relief for a moment, but then worry I’ve sent him a gift and the note in the first place. The good feelings about doing a silly origami project for him disappear. I’m meandering toward these anxious thoughts about sending him the note and the mobile, since he probably won’t understand its significance, when my cell phone actually rings.
It’s Jake.

“I thought I’d try something new.”

My heart is pounding so loud I can barely hear him. “Something new,” I say.

“Calling you in the middle of the night there and knowing right where you are this very second.” He starts to laugh. I take an unsteady breath, realizing I’ve been holding it since I took his call.

“I’m sorry,” I say quickly. “I’m sorry for saying the things I said. Don’t ask me to name them right now because I’m incredibly tired. I haven’t slept well for three nights. I shouldn’t be mad at you. I’ve got to stop doing that.” I take a breath. “So, I’m sorry Jake, just know that. I sent you something. It should be there in the next week or so.”

“A note?” Jake asks.

I hear this longing in his voice. He probably has that hangdog expression again. This amazing sensation travels through all of me in just remembering his face from…yesterday? It’s only Monday or early morning Tuesday.
Oh God.

“There’s a note, but there’s something else too. You’ll just have to wait and see.”

“Julia, I just want to say, I’m sorry. I know this is a rough time for you. Even though things are beyond complicated with other people, I shouldn’t take it out on you.”

“We’re leaving Paris,” I say in a rush.

Silence. Not the response I was expecting.

“Julia,” he says my name as if it’s the last note of a song, but not a high one; it’s a low one, out of tune. “I should have said this in person. I should have told you this while I was there.”

“Things are complicated,” I say.

“Yes. You’re going to have to trust me. I think I know what’s going on, but it involves a lot of people and…”

“Things are complicated for me too, Jake. And I have Reid to think of and I have to figure things out, too. I just want you to know—”

“You’re not going to tell me we can just be friends, are you?”

“Okay, what do you want to call it, then?”

He laughs his attractive southern cowboy laugh. It takes my breath away. “Wait and see,” he says. “Let’s just wait and see.”

I smile because Kimberley used the exact same words just an hour ago. I take it as a sign of some kind.

“I can live with that,” I say. “For a while.” I can feel his happiness through the phone line at the last part of what I’ve just said. “Wait and see, Jake. Let’s just wait and see.”

“I like these phone calls. Let’s do this again soon.”

“Okay. Call me, when you get my note.”

≈
≈*