Serenity's Deception (Texas Sorority Sisters Book 1) (24 page)

J
ason had all he could to keep from hauling her back in his arms. He wanted to kiss her over and over again until she agreed to forget about the past and marry him. But he knew she was too fragile and it would be wrong to make such a move or demand upon her so soon. They would have to work together to build trust.

He didn’t want to rush this newfound love. Pulling his emotions in check, which was one of the hardest things he’d done in some time, he stepped back, remembering the bleakness his life had been without her.  

“BJ.” Her chin was lowered, her eyes hidden. Jason knew he would have to tread softly if he didn’t want to lose this tenuous hold on love at the brink of discovery. He placed his knuckle under her chin, lifting gently until her eyes meet his. “Come.” He gave a small tug of her hand. “Sit with me on the coach.”

He witnessed the hesitation, gave her a grin, then held up his free hand. “I won’t bite, I promise. In fact, you don’t even have to sit next to me unless you want to. I just want to talk, listen to you, get to know you all over again, and when you’re ready you can tell me what’s troubling you. I’m a good listener and anything you say to me will stay in this room and here.” He tapped his chest over his heart. “No further.”

A myriad of emotions flittered across her face. But when he gave another tug on her hand, she followed him to the sofa. He sat down and she chose to sit with enough room to pull her legs under her, turning to face him. But he received another surge of hope when she didn’t take her hand out of his.

 “Shall I begin? Or you?” Seeing her uncertainty, “Me, I guess.

“First off, I don’t need to know why you left town. It’s no longer important to me. I just know you’re here, whether by design purpose or Aunt Maddy’s meddling, I don’t care.” He witnessed the disgust at the mention of the name. “All that matters to me at this moment is you, that we are here together, and we have a second chance if you want it … I know I do.”

She nodded.

Her hand rested between his palms. He rubbed his fingers over the back of her smooth skin, so in contrast to his rough hands. And to think, from the moment he knew she was coming to town he had worked overtime determined to resist falling for her again.
Humph! All that wasted time.

“Billy Jo, I want to tell you about my wife. I don’t want any hidden secrets between us.” He didn’t know if she was curious or not. But her gaze prompted him to continue. “Lindsey and I met in college. I’m ashamed to admit it, but I fell for her on the rebound from you.”

“Jason, I’m—”

He shook his head looking down at their intertwined fingers. “No, let me finish. You need to know this. The rottenness of my life.

“I think I loved her, but at this point, I can’t really be sure. We were married straight out of college. My plans were to come back and make a go of my father’s ranching business. To strengthen the cattle portion of my holdings with blooded longhorns and Hereford stock. At first, Lindsey seemed happy with the plan but too soon she became weary of country life, as she put it. Probably my fault entirely—her being a big city girl and me plain ol’ country.” He gave a shake of his head, the sadness of his first marriage and the part he played weighed heavy on his mind.

“Anyway, whether my lack of attention with working from sunup to sundown, or just not showing her love, I don’t know. Lindsey started taking trips to Austin, then to San Antonio. Gone a good share of the time.”

Jason’s free hand kneaded the tight muscles at the back of his neck, his mind conjuring up the black moments. “Anyway, by accident or whatever, Lindsey got pregnant but she didn’t want the child. I did my best to reason with her. Have the child, leave after the birth if she wanted to, and I’d take care of everything. Even told her I wouldn’t blame her for leaving me and our son behind.” He had to clear the knot in his throat before he could continue. “By this time we knew it was a boy. And I thought I had convinced her.” He shook his head. The horror of their last fight was as fresh in his mind as though it had just happened.

“I came in early one night, found Lindsey in the throes of shoving suitcases in the back of her BMW. Said she never did love me. That I was incapable of loving her, which was probably true. She’d found some man, an attorney in San Antonio, and was moving in with him. The child, well …”

Jason did his best to cover the hurt, but by BJ’s look, he knew all the raw emotions were evident.

“You don’t have to say anything more.” She squeezed his hand.

“No. I have to. You need to know so you can decide if you want to love me.”

“Jace.”

He ignored her plea. “The night Lindsey left, we had heated words. One thing led to another, but before she sped away from the ranch house, she yelled she wasn’t even sure the kid was mine. But I knew he was mine. I threatened her.” When he saw the question on BJ’s face. “Oh, not with bodily harm, but I told her I’d make her life miserable. But I never got the chance.”

He’d never told this to anyone before and the telling was harder than he had ever imagined, but he wanted to be honest with BJ. She needed to know the part he played in Lindsey’s death.

His gut twisted at the memory. Even after five years the pictures were as vivid as yesterday. The mangled car, the glaring red taillights, and the pool of blood making the blacktop glisten and appear blacker on the dark deserted road. Calling 911, prying the overturned BMW door open, cutting the seat belt away, pulling Lindsey’s cut and battered body from the driver’s seat … all of it gave him nightmares for months afterward and remorse that ate at him for years.

 “I’ll never forgive myself for not trying harder with Lindsey. I’m ashamed about the part I played in the dissolution of our marriage and ultimately the loss of Lindsey and our son.”

BJ’s hand slipped from his, cupping his cheek and jaw line. With her simple gesture, he recognized she didn’t condemn him, causing his heart to swell with hope. Her simple touch did more to heal him than all the years of blame he’d heaped upon himself, and for the moment enabled him to purge the ugly pictures from his mind.

“Jason. We’ve all done things in our past that will haunt us and that we’ll always regret. And we’ll probably continue to make stupid mistakes, but we can’t be responsible for the choices others make. Lindsey made her own decision. You may have had a hand in the making, but ultimately it was hers, not yours.”

He moved her fingers from his cheek to his lips planting gentle kisses on her fingertips, then lowered her hand cradling it in his lap. “I know you’re right. But it doesn’t negate my part.”

BJ couldn’t help thinking about Madelyne. “Over the years I’ve had plenty of
what ifs
and regrets in my life. They’re a waste of time. We both need to move on and forget the past.” Her smile displayed years of heartache, but also promise.

Jason shifted slightly. “And you? Can you move on?”

Unease flittered across her face. She hesitated and for a moment, Jason thought she wasn’t going to reply.  

“I want to try.”

Jason saw a spark of hope along with the sadness lurking in the depths of her eyes.

“As you know, I found out today that Madelyne was my biological mother. Why she placed me at Heritage House, or who my father was, is anyone’s guess.” BJ motioned toward the journal. “I hope by the time I’m finished with that, I’ll know the answer to both.”

“Is it important?” He regretted the question as soon as it was asked.

 “Yes.” A well of hurt was wrapped up in that one word.

“I’m sorry, BJ. Of course, it’s important. Never having done without a mother and father I tend to forget that you had neither and didn’t know what it was like. Maddy left you her money and property, maybe she was trying to make amends.”

Looking down at her clasped hands, BJ shook her head releasing a humorless laugh. “Oh, she did that all right.” Her lips curled into a bitter smile. “She forced me to live in her home or receive nothing. She knew or at least guessed I wouldn’t allow the orphanage to close, so she tied the home and everything else, including you, into the nice little package of love she left behind.” She looked up. “What kind of compassionless woman did I come from? At the moment, she disgusts me.”

Not knowing what to say to ease her hurt, Jason laid his arm on the back of the sofa. His hands moved beneath the soft golden strands spilling over BJ’s shoulders. He gently and methodically rubbed her shoulder, doing his best to infuse what little comfort he could offer.

 BJ closed her eyelids and rolled her head back against his hand, permitting the luxury of his touch for several moments before raising her head and looking at him.

 “If you think about it, Madelyne’s generosity reaches far beyond the bounds of modesty. She used her money more like bargaining chips—gambling with your life and mine. And her bigheartedness continued to know no bounds. She gave me enough clues to one side of my ancestry, leaving me completely in the dark as to my father and his antecedents. Wasn’t that magnanimous of her?”

Jason pulled her up tight against his chest. Tears ran unchecked soaking his shirt. He allowed her to cry as he gently rocked her in the circle of his embrace.

She pulled back and looked full into his eyes.

“Why, Jason? Why couldn’t she love me?”

J
ason, on late shift guard duty, sat on the knoll overlooking his cattle, a Thermos of coffee, and his pump 12-gauge for company. Nearly a month had passed, yet there were still no signs of the men who had shot Reuben and killed his cattle. The farthest from his mind were the culprits he waited on.

BJ—he smiled—never further than a thought away and more important to him than ever before. That woman had made inroads to his heart, and she probably didn’t even know how much. This time he wasn’t fighting his love for her. Over the past three weeks they had met nightly over dinner or, when their schedules didn’t permit, a late night glass of tea on the veranda to talk. Those were the best times and he looked forward to their time together each day.

Since the night of the shooting he hadn’t kissed her again. He wanted to. The good Lord only knew how much he wanted to. But he also wanted her to be sure of him and her emotions. And the best way to go about that was to get reacquainted and to forgive the past.

Glad that BJ felt safe enough to open up to him, Jason found the little things about her he’d missed while she was away, especially her profession, fascinating. Nothing seemed off limits with either of them unless he brought up the subject of the night she left town. She’d clam up tighter than a submarine preparing to dive. He knew when to back off and give her breathing room. Only a matter of time before she’d be ready to tell him, but until she was ready, he’d practice patience.

Making plans helped pass the time. Plans that included BJ. First, he’d take her to dinner, somewhere expensive. If the evening went as intended he’d …

Adrenaline skittered through his bones. Every fiber of his body went on alert. He didn’t hear a sound exactly, more like a sixth sense someone was approaching from behind. Then he heard it … a faint crush of leaves beneath a foot.

He knew it imperative to wait, but every muscle strained to move into action while he sat hidden beneath the huge bush. He’d be ready if his cover were blown.

A man with a discernible, familiar limp, moving cautiously, crossed less than three feet in front of Jason. From the man’s left side, a glint of light from the moon overhead reflected off the silver blade dangling from his hand.

Jason moved slowly, tightening his fingers over the stock of the 12-gauge lying in his lap. Four shells rested in the magazine and one in the chamber. Jason knew if he jacked the fore-end, he would have the man’s immediate attention. For some inexplicable reason he held fast to the quivering urgency to attack.

The man continued down the hill at an angle straight for the cattle. Before Jason moved to stand, another light sound of someone heading in his direction stayed his movements.

Another man came into sight and followed behind the other killer. These men were hedging their bet to not get caught. No wonder Reuben didn’t fire a shot. He was surprised like Jason would have been if he hadn’t waited.

Delaying until both men were in front of him, twenty feet apart, Jason realized the first one would soon be out of range of his shotgun. However, the second one was less than five feet in front of Jason.

With one fluid motion, Jason stood, jacked the shell in place pointing it straight at his closest target.

The noise startled both men. The one closest to Jason jerked around, a lifted rifle in his hand ready to shoot as he scanned the area for the cause. The one further away stopped then yelled in a loud whisper, “What are you doing, Casey? What’s going on?”

The shock that Casey was one of his own ranch hands had Jason wanting to do him bodily harm.

“Stand where you are unless you want a belly full of lead.” Jason secretly wished Casey would make a move. He’d love nothing better than to give him a little of what Reuben suffered. This close the man would die. Regardless how much he would like to, Jason didn’t want the man’s death on his conscience.

“Drop your weapon.” Jason watched both men, ready to shoot Casey if he had to.

Casey eased the rifle on the ground keeping a keen eye on Jason.

"Call your partner up here
now!”

“Ben, get up here quick.”

Instant recognition of why Jason thought the first man’s walk was so familiar. Casey’s partner was Ben Rueger.

Jason, with his gun still trained on Casey, kept his peripheral vigil on Ben as he moved up the hill toward them, Jason making sure he didn’t draw a weapon. “Drop the knife on the ground and kick it away from you. You do the same, Casey. Kick your rifle down the hill.”

The skittering noise of both weapons echoed in the silence until no noise was heard.

Jason motioned with his gun for Ben to stand next to Casey. He pulled his cell from his pocket, hit the button without taking his eyes off the scum downhill from him.

“Call the police, then get over here fast. I need your help. I have our mystery men lined up in the crosshairs of my shotgun. I’m not sure if I can keep myself from pulling the trigger.” Jason pocketed his phone.

“Tell me, Casey, who paid you?” Jason waited without answer.

The man looked belligerent and unwilling to cooperate.

“Since you were bringing up the tail following Ben, I figure you shot Reuben.” Casey still mute, Jason trained his eyes on Ben. “And again, it could have been you. Maybe you trade off trailing. You do know that for attempted murder you will do hard time.”

“It wasn’t me.” Ben thumbed in Casey’s direction. “He shot the boy. I didn’t have a thing to do with it. I was in front of him, just like tonight.”

“Shut up you fool. He’s only fishing.” Casey looked as though he’d like nothing better than to plant a fist in Ben’s mouth to shut him up.

“I’m not taking the rap for you.” Ben looked at Jason, fear in his eyes. “We were hired by the Drunken
T
to slaughter your cattle and put you out of business, nothing more. I certainly ain’t goin’ up for attempted murder. Casey did it all. I just helped him drag the kid under the bushes before hightailing it off your property”

“You idiot. Keep your mouth shut.” He spat the words at Ben, murder in his eyes. “They can’t connect us with the boy’s shooting.”

 “I’m not going down for it. You will. I just killed the animals, nothing more.”

“If I could, I’d shoot you both where you’re standing. But then I’d be no better than the two of you. I’ll let the law take care of you.” Jason hated looking at the putrid examples standing before him. “Which of you tried to drive Billy Jo out of town?”

Both men wore puzzled looks that didn’t sit well with Jason.

“Don’t try’n pin that on me. I don’t know a thing about it.” Ben flipped his thumb again at Casey. “He might.”