Settling Scores (Piper Anderson Series) (18 page)

“Warn me about what?”

“Your parents are here,” Michael said calmly and directly. “I thought you should know.”

“They are?” she asked in a tiny, childlike voice and turned to Betty as though she’d have something supportive to say. And like usual she did.

“Child, if the worst thing you have to face in a day is your wonderful parents, then you’ll be fine. I’ve had the pleasure of spending a morning with them and they are truly lovely people. They have the one thing you need in parents.”

“What’s that?” Willow asked, leaning in slightly toward Betty for support

“Absolute unconditional, no strings attached kind of love. It’s not easy to do and it’s even harder to find, but they’ve got it. So I know you’ll work it out.”

“I hope you’re right,” she sighed, as she stepped into the house.

“With my track record, the odds are in your favor sweetie. I’m always right.”

“I wonder what she needed your advice on?” Michael asked taking a long swig of his beer.

“Well with her track record it doesn’t matter, she wouldn’t take my advice.”

“She seems different,” Michael offered, leaning against the rail of the porch.

“She does,” Bobby agreed as he clanked the side of his beer against Michaels. “Maybe another broken person all fixed up? I’m starting to think we might be onto something here. Maybe we can save the world.”

“Let’s just try to keep our little world safe and calm for a while before we try to conquer anything else.”

“I can live with that.”

Willow tried on seven dresses before settling on the simple cream-colored eyelet capped sleeved one.

“Tell me again why you have this many dresses here in my size?” Willow asked Betty as she stepped out of the bathroom. She laughed as Betty let out a happy gasp at the site of her in the dress.

“I’m a firm believer in being prepared for all types of scenarios. But I’ll be honest I was pleasantly surprised to need one of these dresses. I’ve known a lot of people in my life but you’re the first to flat out call me a bullshitter.”

Willow felt the heat rise in her cheeks as she thought back to what she’d said on the phone to Betty while she was drunk. “I am truly sorry about that Betty. I was so angry.”

“I know child, no need to apologize. I like that spark you have in you. I think if you can harness that and use it for good you could move mountains.”

“Can I ask your advice on something? Well two things really.”

“Of course.” Betty said, patting the bed next to her and Willow settled shoulder to shoulder with her.

“I have something really important to tell everyone but I’m afraid my timing is wrong. I don’t want to keep it for another minute but I also know this is Bobby and Pipers day.”

“Well just ask yourself what Bobby and Piper would want. It is their day, but they aren’t the type of people who mind sharing it with others. Neither needs much of a spotlight on them. As a matter of fact I’m quite certain this wedding is more for me than for them.”

“Okay, I’ll think about it,” Willow said, nodding her head. “But the second thing isn’t so easily fixed.”

“Josh,” Betty said knowingly with her lips pursed.

“Yes. I don’t deserve him and I think I blew it with him. My head keeps telling me the humane thing to do for his heart is let him go. I had my chance. I made my choices.”

“But?” Betty asked with a raised eyebrow.

“My heart keeps telling me to fix it, if I don’t I’ll regret it the rest of my life. I’ve never met anyone like him before. He’s so genuine. He gives everything he has without a second’s hesitation. And every time he has, I’ve stomped on that. Why would he trust me again to not do the same thing again? How will he ever believe I won’t just run?”

“My mama used to tell me that wherever I go in this world to listen to the sense the good Lord gave me, but to never leave home without my heart. Life without love is like the sky without the sun. It’s important to listen to your brain, but it’s crucial to follow your heart.”

“He told me he loved me. I didn’t say it back.”

“Are you sure you didn’t?” Betty drawled with a grin.

“Um, I mean I know when I called you I was pretty drunk, but I didn’t spend the whole time out there on a bender. I think I’d remember if I said I loved him.”

“I know you didn’t say the words, but that’s not the only way to say it. There are acts of love that speak volumes.”

“I didn’t do any of those either. I was a bitch.”

“Pushing someone away because you know you aren’t ready to love them. That’s an act of love. Trying to right your past so that you can be worthy of their emotions for you, that’s an act of love. The words are important Willow but they aren’t everything.”

“I never thought of it like that,” she whispered feeling a layer of guilt peel away from her. “But maybe he hasn’t thought of that either. Maybe he’s still furious.”

“I’ve known many men in my life,” Betty said patting Willow’s leg. “Well not like that, that’s not what I meant.” She blushed slightly, making Willow laugh out. “I just mean I’ve come in contact with, oh you know what I mean. Josh is special. He’s different. Not many men would do what he’s done for you. Or if they did, they’d have expected something in return or played the martyr when it didn’t work out the way they wanted. When Josh came back here, it wasn’t about what you’d done to him it was about what you were doing to yourself. There are few people in the world who can value you more than they value their own happiness. That’s the proof of an amazing person, when they can see the beauty in those around them, even when it’s buried. When you find that, you wrap your arms around it and hold on for as long as life lets you. He wants you happy. If you can do that, you’ll give him everything he needs.”

“For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can do that. Something happened in the city Betty. A miracle. It started to change me.”

“Then don’t let anything stop that change. Think of it like a wave. You’ve been at sea a long time Willow. Ride that wave to shore, because we’re all here waiting for you.”

“I will,” she whispered, letting the tears roll down her cheek. “I am going to be better.”

“Just remember Willow you don’t have to be perfect, you just have to be present. No one cares what trouble you’re feeling while you’re here, they just want to be with you. You’ve been through more than anyone should have to go through in ten life times. You should have been worried about the monsters under your bed, not the real life monsters walking this earth. You didn’t get a fair shake, but you’ve got something now you didn’t have before.”

“What’s that?” she asked, leaning her head on Betty’s shoulder and taking the tissue she was offering. The woman really had everything covered all the time.

“An army. You have the love and support of an army now. There will never come a day when you will be alone, even if you want to be. Bobby just called you his sister. I’ve seen what he does for people he considers family. I’ve benefited from it myself and so has Jules. There is no turning back now. Our love is like a disease and you’ve been infected. There’s no cure. You’ve got us for life,” she wrapped her arms around her and squeezed with the tightness of a boa constrictor.

Willow thought back to the analogy she used to try to push Josh away, oddly similar though the polar opposite. She’d thought herself such a plague that she couldn’t be around anyone without bringing them down. But in fact, this love was more powerful than anything she’d thought was inside of her. She really believed no matter what she did now, nothing could cure Willow of Betty’s love. And as she embraced Betty tightly, sobbing like a fool into her shoulder she realized this was something she never wanted to be cured of.

When she finally composed herself she stood and brushed the tears from her cheeks.

“Good thing I didn’t do my makeup yet,” she said, an attempt at levity in a powerful moment. “Do you think they know I’m here yet?”

“We banished Bobby and Michael to the back porch so I doubt they told anyone yet. Josh is helping set up the chairs and stuff with Jedda and Clay. I’m sure they’re finished by now. I can send him up.”

“No, I’m not ready. I need to see my parents first. I owe them a million apologies.” Willow slapped her hand to her forehead. “And like twenty thousand dollars.”

“Then I’ll send them up. Don’t be afraid Willow. Don’t be afraid of their love for you.”

Those words pierced the armor of Willow’s heart with a sting she wasn’t prepared for. That was something no one had ever said to her before. She’d given herself a thousand reasons why she fled Block Island. It was her inability to be healed the way they wanted her to. It was the embarrassment she’d brought on them. But in reality, their love terrified her. It was so pure and without any type of reservation that at times, it felt like it could not possibly be real. Much like Josh’s love. She could not only accept that kind of love, but maybe she could learn to give it as well. Surely, with so many teachers, it was a skill she could learn.

A quiet knock on the door sent Willow almost instantly to tears. She knew it was her mothers’ delicate kind hand on the other side and she was suddenly desperate to be in her arms. She croaked out the words “come in,” and drew in a deep centering breath.

The sight of her mother and father stepping quietly in, their hands locked together sent a scared shiver through her body. She’d thought through what they might say, what she might say but it all evaporated at the sight of them. “I’m so sorry,” she cried as she raced to them and felt their arms close in around her. All three were in tears as she breathed in the scent of them.

“It’s okay, monkey,” her dad said into her ear, the name she earned for hiding in trees on days she was scared just after her adoption. Hearing him utter those words, knowing he still held that affection for her was all she needed in that moment. The last strength she had in her legs began to fade away and all her weight was on them now. They moved toward the bed and all sat, as close as physically possible.

“I just had some things I needed to do and I didn’t know how to tell you what was going on with me. I thought you would be mortified that it had gotten out on the news about me, about where I was really from. We kept it secret for so long.” Willow’s words flowed together and she hoped they were making sense.

“Oh, baby stop,” her mother said, pulling her in, her hand wiping away her own tears and then Willow’s. “We never kept your past a secret for our sake. We took our lead from you. We didn’t think you wanted people to know so we supported you. But neither of us has ever been embarrassed or ashamed of who you are. You make us proud every single day. Even on your worst day. You’re our miracle.”

“What?” Willow asked pulling away and looking back and forth between the two of them.

“All we ever wanted was a child. You saved us. You gave us new life, a family,” her father choked out. “You’re all we ever wanted.”

“But I stole from you. I ran away. People on the island must be driving you crazy with all the gossip.”

“Who gives a shit?” her mother replied, uttering the first swear Willow had ever heard her say. “That money was your college money. It was yours, and if you did something with it that you felt you needed to, then that’s fine by us. We wished you hadn’t run off but believe it or not your father and I both had our struggles over the years and we’ve done our share of running, sometimes it’s just what you need to do.”

“As for the gossip,” her father cut in, “the only phone calls we’ve gotten are from our friends asking what they can do to help, telling us they support and love us.”

“Really?” Willow asked in disbelief. “People aren’t wondering why you let someone like me into your house? They aren’t asking about Jedda?”

“They are asking about Jedda, they’re asking if he’s all right and if he needs anything now that he’s out. They’re calling him a hero for saving you. So are we. We’ve had the pleasure of spending the morning with him and your mother cried all over him, just thanking him for what he did for you.”

“You look so much alike,” her mother choked out. “It made me miss you even more. I didn’t think you were coming today. But I wanted to be here just in case. I wanted to be here because I wanted to be with other people who love you as much as I do. If I couldn’t see you then that was the kind of company I wanted to keep.”

“I love you both so much. I don’t know what I would have done without you. You saved me and I just wish I’d acted worthy of it. But I promise you, I’m going to be.”

“You just have to stop trying Willow. Stop trying to be what you think we want you to be and just be who you are. We love you already. You don’t have to earn that. You just have to let us.”

“I will,” she said, pulling them both in tighter to her. Another knock at the door sent them all wiping at their cheeks and trying to gather themselves.

Jedda poked his head in and then at the sight of Willow, charged forward, not waiting to be invited in. “I knew you were here. I saw Betty talking to your parents and I knew you were here,” he said as she sprang up and fell into his arms.

“I’m sorry Jedda. I know I wasn’t very good to you when you needed me. You’ve always done everything to protect me and I threw that in your face.”