Settling Scores (Piper Anderson Series) (6 page)

“I agree. But you need an emotionally safe place to try to remember and then you can turn over what you do to the authorities. There are professionals who specialize in helping victims of crimes recover repressed memories. It can be a really slow process, but it’s effective and safer than trying to do what you’re doing. I have a friend from medical school who went into psychiatry. I can contact her and --

Willow interrupted angrily, “That’s not what I want. These girls could still be alive. That happens, they find these girls ten or fifteen years later, still prisoners but alive. That really happens.” Willow could see the solemnness spread across Josh’s face and she knew he didn’t share her hope.

“Ok,” he said, nodding his head and biting slightly at his lip, clearly holding back words he’d like to say.

“I want to go back to where I used to live. Back to the neighborhood. Talk to people, read articles and public information about cases and missing girls. That will help me remember. I’ll be able to piece this together.”

“Don’t you think the police could do more with the information than you?” Josh asked, still looking like he was afraid to spook her, but trying to temper her misplaced hope.

“No. I think they’ll think I’m crazy. Or they won’t take it seriously enough and everything I say will end up in a drawer somewhere collecting dust. I need to put it all together and hand them something they can’t ignore.”

“Ok,” Josh relented, nodding the same way as he had last time he said the word that was starting to infuriate Willow.

“That’s it? Just ok? You aren’t going to try to talk me out of it? You aren’t going to tell me I should go back to Edenville or Block Island?”

“I’m not stupid enough to think there is anything I can say to convince you. And I’m hopeful enough to think you’ll let me come with you.”

“Why would you do that? You have to go back to work. You can’t just run off and help me chase this down.”

“Don’t worry about my work. It’s covered. I have time.”

“But you don’t think this is a good idea, I can tell.”

“Who cares what I think? If you feel like this is what you need to do then I’ll help you.”

“But you must have an opinion.” Willow dug her heels in, needing to hear Josh say the words. She wanted him to admit he thought she was wrong, though she didn’t know why it was so important to her.

“I’ll be whatever you want me to be right now Willow. You want me to blindly support you? You got it. You want to hear what I think as a doctor? Fine. Or you want me to be a friend? It’s your call.”

“What would you say if you blindly supported me?”

Josh looked thoughtfully at the ceiling as he searched for the words. “I would tell you that you’ve got this. You’re tough and smart and you can do it. That you’re right.”

“And as a doctor?”

“As a doctor I’d tell you,” Josh swallowed hard before he continued, “I would tell you that it is incredibly dangerous to go into an environment like that and try to stimulate the return of those memories without being under the care of a professional. It can be potentially catastrophic and result in something as serious as a psychotic break. You’d be opening a floodgate and could very easily find yourself swept up in the undertow. The odds of any of these stories having a happy ending are statistically low. If that’s the case, it could push you over the edge. You’re likely to feel worse, and possibly need significant professional intervention if you try to go it alone.”

Willow averted her eyes again, trying to take in his words without letting them scare her. She needed to face this but his advice couldn’t be ignored.

“And if you were my friend?” she asked quietly, turning her eyes back toward him. This answer was the one she was most interested in, the one she needed to hear.

“I would tell you that if all of that happens, if it’s too much and you can’t take it, I’ve got your back. You won’t be alone.” The earnestness in his voice was piercing through Willow’s armor.

She tipped her head back toward the ceiling hoping gravity would keep the tears that were forming from falling. “I need to do this. I really believe that.”

“Then let’s book some flights. You say you remember her face? We can find a sketch artist. I think getting it on paper could help.” This was his way of showing he was serious, actually willing to help, not trying to trick her into coming home. And it was working.

“That’s a great idea,” Willow smiled and stepped toward him, not yet sure if she intended to touch him, though she wanted to. “You’re really going to do all this with me?”

“Yes. But there are two catches. If you are in mortal danger, I will intervene. I’m not willing to commit to letting you destroy yourself. If it gets to that point, I’ll step in. Otherwise, I’ll just watch your back and take your lead. Second, I plan to call Edenville. Everyone there is concerned about you and I don’t intend to lie to them. You don’t need their permission but they love you and you should give them an update.”

“Fair enough,” she nodded and nervously began wringing her hands together, unsure of what else to do with them. If she didn’t keep them busy, she knew they’d reach out and touch Josh’s kind eyed face.

“You should know, I’m not here to try to win you over either. I’m not going to kiss you, or make a move on you,” he assured seeming to read her mind. “I’m not going to risk having something with you someday just to have something with you right now.”

“I don’t know what things are going to look like when I come out on the other side of this.” She felt obligated to warn him that there might not be anything left of her worth caring about.

“Just don’t lose yourself in this. Make sure there is still enough of you left on the other side to piece back together.”

“I’ll try,” she said, pushing her bangs out of her eyes and finally meeting his gaze again. She wouldn’t make a promise, but this was as close as she’d get to doing so.

“We can fly out tomorrow if you want to pack up. I’ll grab a hotel and pick you up here in the morning.”

“Stay,” Willow said, quicker and with more urgency than she would have liked to portray. “I know it’s not a really nice place but I want to show you what else I have here,” she continued, gesturing up to the wall of information she’d pieced together so far.

“Sure, I can crash on the floor,” Josh offered trying to make the situation less awkward.

“The floor is disgusting. If we’re really going to do all this, if you’ve truly got my back and plan to support me, I think we can share a bed. I mean, just like sleep in it.”

“That’s fine,” Josh smiled, clearly amused by the hot pink in Willow’s cheeks. “I think I can handle that.”

Piper held her tongue as long as she could as everyone gave his or her opinions on Josh’s phone call. She watched as Michael’s nostrils flared the way they did when he was angry. His tone made it clear he was.

“So she did have a hand in what happened to Brad? Does she know how bad it would have been if anyone had found out? That document I sighed was iron clad, she needed to put the Brad stuff behind her,” Michael seethed.

“Apparently she had more than just a hand in it. She orchestrated the whole thing. Getting involved with some very dangerous people in order to do so. From what Josh said she’s lucky she didn’t get herself killed,” Bobby huffed as he slid into his booth at the Wise Owl. The restaurant was doing great but Monday nights were always quiet so they made it a point to come, making sure the seats were filled. It was a nice addition to Wednesday night dinner, though Piper could see the conversation might get intense.

“Well if it’s done now why doesn’t she just come back?” Jules asked, as she patted Frankie gently on the back and pushed her pink pacifier back between her cherry red lips.

Bobby, who’d taken the call from Josh, looked like he was mustering the courage to bring on more bad news.

“I’m starting to get to know that look,” Jedda worried out loud, tossing his dishtowel over his shoulder and sitting down to join them. “It gets worse, doesn’t it?”

“She’s not coming back here,” Bobby admitted, and Piper let out a heavy sigh. She didn’t think the odds were good that a little time away would get Willow back in a happy state of mind. She knew from experience it took a lot of work and a lot of help. Hiding out didn’t do you any favors. “Josh just booked them two flights back to New Jersey. He said she’s got this plan in her head. Somewhere along the way, she started remembering things from when she was young. She remembers other girls who came through the house, girls your parents abducted maybe. Her plan is to go back to your old neighborhood, the old house to try to remember more and find out what happened to the girls.”

Jedda pinched the bridge of his nose with his fingers as though his head was about to burst from the pressure. “Bobby, you of all people know how dangerous my neighborhood was. It’s likely even worse now. She can’t go tracking down my parents’ old connections and try to find out what they did with girls they abducted. She’ll get herself killed. I’m going up there.”

“You can’t go Jedda,” Crystal interjected, a comforting hand squeezing his arm. “She won’t let you just drag her back here anyway. She’s a tough cookie, she’ll put up a hell of a fight.”

“I will literally toss her over my shoulder and carry her back here if I need to.” Jedda grunted as he pounded his fist on the table sending the silverware rattling.

“Crystal’s right,” Bobby agreed, sucking in a deep breath. “Jedda can’t go there but I can and I don’t care what she wants, I’m getting her home. I don’t care if I have to handcuff and arrest her. At this point she’s done enough to warrant it.”

“I recall you just giving Josh the wild horse speech. You’re changing your tune now?” Piper asked, finally speaking up. “I thought you were speaking from experience. Do you really think a plan like that would have worked on me?”

“She’s not you Piper. You never stole money or drugs. You weren’t out associating with guys like Brad or God knows who else in order to take him down. What you were doing was admirable.”

“That’s what I was doing in Edenville,” Piper admitted. “But I had a whole life before turning up here. Trust me, some of my mistakes would make Willow look like a nun.”

Bobby threw Piper a curious look as he asserted, “All I’m saying is I think she needs a firm hand at this point. Josh went out there, and I was hoping he’d talk some sense into her. Clearly he didn’t.”

“She’s a grown woman and Josh is with her. If this is what she thinks she needs to do then we should let her,” Piper stressed, raising her voice to meet Bobby’s volume. They didn’t do much arguing these days. Their lives had settled over the last few months, but Willow had remained their one point of contention. Bobby hadn’t fully shaken his views of right and wrong and Piper hadn’t been able to ignore her empathy for Willow’s situation.

“Josh has lived in Edenville his whole life. He’s not going to be prepared for what it’s like up there. Think about how Jules was when you got to New York,” Bobby reminded. Piper knew he expected her to be on his side but she wasn’t. She knew what it felt like to be paralyzed by life as though you couldn’t move forward until you fixed the things haunting you.

Jules cut in with a stern look, “I did just fine up there, thank you very much.”

“You’ve been going to school for a while now, Piper,” Michael said as Betty came in with a tray of food for everyone. “I’d imagine learning to become a social worker and victims advocate you’ve seen your share of the horror stories. Hell, you’ve lived them yourself. The statistics don’t lie. The odds that any of these women will be found are miniscule. She’s not actually going to have a good outcome from all of this. You have to know that.”

Piper kept her tone steely, knowing a lot was riding on this debate. “I’m not saying I think she’s going to find them, I’m saying she deserves to look for them if that’s what she thinks she needs to do.”

“Josh is worried about her mental state,” Bobby chimed in now not looking at Piper at all as Betty placed his plate of pasta down in front of him.

“Willow?” Betty asked, putting down the last plate and then taking a seat with all of them.

“Yes, she’s going to New Jersey and trying to remember things from when she was younger. She thinks she can help some of the girls her parents hurt. I know it’s not likely but I think it’s important that she try.” Piper pled her case to Betty, knowing if she could win her over, she could turn the tide of this conversation.

Every eye was on Betty, waiting for her to weigh in. She pulled her napkin from the table and placed it on her lap as she thought it over. “Is it safe?” she asked, and her eyes went wide as Bobby, Jedda, and Michael called back a loud and resounding no.

“But she’s determined I’m sure?” Betty continued, the wheels in her brain turning.

“She’s not going to stop,” Piper interjected before anyone else could. “Willow is going to do this, we just have to figure out how to help her, not how to stop her. I’ll go up there. I’m off school this month anyway.”

“You’re off school because of your wedding and honeymoon. Don’t forget about that,” Jules reminded, switching positions and handing a fussing Frankie over to Michael. She took her role as maid of honor very seriously, even if the wedding was planned to be casual.

“You’re not going up by yourself. I’ll go with you, but I’m not biting my tongue while I’m there. I’m going to tell her this is a bad idea,” Bobby said, folding his arms across his chest assertively.